We are, as always, absolutely enthralled at the prospect of discovering from James Kelly what our vile secret masterplan has been over the last 18 months.
So we, at least, will be reading, James.
The polls have closed. We have no idea what’s going to happen.
This is how we’re feeling.
We’d actually planned to leave Chris Cairns’ fabulous cartoon at the top of the front page all day today, but this post is important so we’re putting it in here again (no, Chris, you don’t get paid twice) so we can say this.
Because no matter how much you hate the Unionist parties or certain of their individual MSPs, if you want Alba MSPs elected today there are several seats where you really, really can’t afford to vote SNP on the constituency ballot.
THE THEORY AND PRACTICE OF OLIGARCHICAL COLLECTIVISM
Chapter I
Ignorance Is Strength
Throughout recorded time, and probably since the end of the Neolithic Age, there have been three kinds of people in the world, the High, the Middle, and the Low. They have been subdivided in many ways, they have borne countless different names, and their relative numbers, as well as their attitude towards one another, have varied from age to age: but the essential structure of society has never altered.
Even after enormous upheavals and seemingly irrevocable changes, the same pattern has always reasserted itself, just as a gyroscope will always return to equilibrium, however far it is pushed one way or the other.
The aims of these three groups are entirely irreconcilable.
The Tories might be evil, but they’re not idiots.
They do think YOU’RE a bit dim, though.
“Why can’t you just be kind?” is the signature cry of the transcult. Anyone professing a belief in the material reality of biology in 2021 is viciously attacked as a cruel and heartless bigot for refusing to affirm and validate this sort of madness:
(We had to look up “Achillean” too.)
But it’s those who indulge it who are the monsters here.
Now, it hasn’t come as any surprise to us that “Bonnie Prince Bob”, who is this week’s darling of the Scottish media and is running for the Edinburgh Central seat against Angus Robertson, is a deeply tiresome faux-revolutionary Bella Caledonia-type poseur straight out of the most insufferable kind of student drama society.
We were already aware of the fact because he’s been morbidly and creepily obsessed with Wings (and in particular my sex life for some unfathomable reason) for years.
Bob is a dedicated self-publicist to whom the election is just an opportunity for a bit of attention-seeking and grifting. He’s raised over £8,000 for unspecified purposes in a campaign that’s being conducted almost entirely online at next to no cost.
But hey, everyone’s got bills to pay, so good luck to him on that. There was a gap in the market for a cross between a slightly less clever pro-indy Neil Oliver and the oblivious wearing-outdoors-accessories-indoors bombast of George Galloway, and he seems to have cornered it with a modicum of aplomb.
His other goals are a bit more suspect, though.
Our always-alert readers will probably have noticed that Nicola Sturgeon’s constant catchphrase this week has been how Yes supporters still need to “build the case for independence”, rather than actually do anything to achieve it.
But the thing is, she’s the leader of the SNP. Building the case for independence is literally her job, and she’s now been doing it for six and a half years. So how much progress have we made?
Holiday Boy is on holiday. But remember in 2018 when Nicola Sturgeon was going to use next week’s election as a de facto referendum if the UK government hadn’t given her permission for one by now, readers?
It’s almost like you can’t ever believe a word she says.
The grim thing is, the Daily Record’s headline isn’t even a lie.
You can check by listening to the interview yourself here, from 2h 10m.
Wings Over Scotland is a thing that exists.
