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The Weekend Cartoon 691

Posted on June 19, 2021 by

Alert readers will have noticed that our quasi-regular crayonsmith Slacky The Holiday Boy is off again this week (and indeed next week), so as a special emergency service we bring you something almost as funny, albeit in a rather darker vein than usual.

The punchline, of course, is the last sentence of paragraph 9.

The Tory Variant 736

Posted on June 05, 2021 by

A tale of four nations 804

Posted on May 28, 2021 by

The skewer 728

Posted on May 22, 2021 by

Hostile environment 990

Posted on May 15, 2021 by

The Ship Song 1,078

Posted on May 12, 2021 by

Ten years ago this month I was in a pub called The Porter in Bath with my girlfriend and her family, buying everyone whiskies and gabbling deliriously (I’d been up for over 40 hours at that point) about the significance of what had just happened.

Alex Salmond’s SNP had just broken the Scottish electoral system, winning an absolute majority of seats in a Parliament designed expressly to stop that from ever happening. A total of 72 pro-independence MSPs had been elected, and it was already clear that an independence referendum was going to happen despite the Labour Party’s best efforts. It was impossibly exciting.

This month I sat and watched 72 ostensibly pro-indy MSPs be elected again, but this time with my heart breaking, knowing that they would achieve nothing and indeed had no real intention to even try.

And I’ve had enough of feeling that way.

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Towards the future 177

Posted on May 12, 2021 by

The election’s over and the votes have been counted. It wasn’t to be for Alba this time, but the fight goes on.

Whilst there’s disappointment, there’s also vindication. SNP list votes were even greater than in 2016 and yet produced even fewer list MSPs.

There’s an irony in the SNP suffering from unionist tactical voting, having traduced Alba for allegedly gaming the system. In the end it was perfidious Albion not Alba as Labour and the Tories gave each other hauners – when will the SNP ever learn that the British can’t be trusted? They may write the rules but they sure don’t play by them.

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Trans Greens Are Greens 89

Posted on May 11, 2021 by

Misogynist racist midget Patrick Harvie is furious this week, which is always nice.

It seems he really doesn’t like it up ‘im.

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A butterfly on a wheel 328

Posted on May 11, 2021 by

Craig Murray was today sentenced to eight months in prison for the crime of “jigsaw identification” of one or more of the complainers in the trial of Alex Salmond, despite the supposed existence in Scotland of a presumption against prison sentences for any crimes attracting a penalty of less than 12 months.

We believe he is the first person ever to be convicted of this extremely vaguely-defined crime, and certainly the first ever sentenced to imprisonment for it.

In her judgement Lady Dorrian cited a number of factors, one of which was that the case was an extremely high-profile one which had attracted a great deal of media attention. This was of course in large part due to the actions of an “unknown” person within the Scottish Government or Scottish civil service who illegally leaked the story to David Clegg, then of the Daily Record and now editor of The Courier.

In reality everyone in Scottish politics knows who this person was and whose orders they were acting under, but even though they’re not the subject of any current court case we cannot say their names or we too would face prosecution and imprisonment. (As ever, DO NOT speculate or hint about their identities in comments. Any such comments will be deleted and the commenter banned.)

In sentencing Murray to incarceration rather than the fine which is almost always used for contempt charges, Lady Dorrian emphasised the danger of dissuading victims of crime, and especially sexual assaults, from reporting the offence if they thought they might be identified publicly.

But it must be noted that NONE of the complainers against Mr Salmond were victims of any crime. The jury heard their evidence and the defence evidence – the latter of which went almost entirely unreported except by Craig Murray – and concluded that none of them had in fact been assaulted in any way whatsoever.

Several of the complainers gave evidence which in the light of the verdict suggested a strong case for charges of perjury, but no prosecutions (or, as far as we’re aware, even investigations) have followed.

At least 10 Scottish newspaper journalists have also published information which by any empirical measure enables the identification of complainers. Two separate independently-conducted opinion polls have found that far more people claim to have identified complainers via these newspaper publications than from Craig Murray’s blog. All the articles in question remain online, yet none of their authors have even been questioned or warned by the Crown Office or police, let alone prosecuted.

(The Crown Office has for over a year refused to tell this site whether we’re allowed to quote those articles or not.)

Craig Murray is only one of a long list of people supportive of Alex Salmond to have been prosecuted in connection with his trial – others, including this site, have been threatened – while absolutely nobody hostile to Mr Salmond has faced any criminal action. The official in charge of prosecutions in Scotland, the Lord Advocate James Wolffe, is a minister of the Scottish Government directly answerable to the First Minister. We are sure these matters are unconnected.

We understand, though we have not confirmed, that Craig Murray remains at liberty for now, pending a request for leave to appeal to the Supreme Court. He is an elderly man of previously impeccable character with a number of serious health conditions which could create a severe risk to his life in prison, and who clearly poses absolutely no sort of danger to society. His appeal fund is linked at the bottom of this post.

The spanner in the works 356

Posted on May 10, 2021 by

The Taking Of Holyrood 129 310

Posted on May 09, 2021 by

So here’s your majority:

And we know because they told us.

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Dawn Of The Imbeciles 211

Posted on May 09, 2021 by

The SNP collected slightly over 1 million list votes in Thursday’s election, which nevertheless elected just two list MSPs because SNP voters care about power for the SNP rather than about independence, and chose to let dozens of Unionist MSPs get seats rather than other pro-indy parties.

But the bigger tragedy is that one of those two was Emma Roddick.

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    • Mark Beggan on The Idiot Rodeo: “That’s ok. We never read the first one either.Dec 15, 16:47
    • Tommo on The Idiot Rodeo: “Is there not an odd similarity between the above ‘ooot for indy’ nonsense so well eviscerated and the ‘judgement’ in…Dec 15, 16:39
    • Dan on Let’s make this simple: “Ooh, there’s excellent potential here. After the summer of dung beetle battles, we could now piss away even more time…Dec 15, 16:23
    • Stuart on The Idiot Rodeo: “PAPER ONE IN THE 10 PART BAIRD SERIES! 10 parts, I cannae wait! Will it come on 10 stone tablets?…Dec 15, 15:53
    • diabloandco on The Idiot Rodeo: “OT RSPCA heavily advertising their appeal , please remember that we have the SSPCA and they need anything we can…Dec 15, 15:51
    • sog on The Idiot Rodeo: “The NHS Fife legal team may have dug deeply. One off-colour joke was all they presented.Dec 15, 14:17
    • sog on The Idiot Rodeo: “It saddens me that the Greens are following the same downward path.Dec 15, 13:16
    • sog on The Idiot Rodeo: “I worked in Engineering. Post-9/11 I read a report, I think by the NY City, on the sequence of events,…Dec 15, 13:14
    • Northcode on The Idiot Rodeo: “Oops! Just realised I’ve posted this that last comment already… apologies.Dec 15, 12:58
    • Northcode on The Idiot Rodeo: “Alf Baird posted an excellent (I think so, anyway… and that’s all that really matters) comment yesterday. I feel it’s…Dec 15, 12:35
    • Northcode on The Idiot Rodeo: “Here’s a spare and random thought I had about some stuff… NORTHCODE’S SPARE AND RANDOM THOUGHT BEGINS… There is no…Dec 15, 12:12
    • SilentMajority on The Idiot Rodeo: “Does our ‘government’ awaken each morning, and go through a rendition of “Eeny-meeny-miny-moe!” to decide which opinion to support today…’are…Dec 15, 11:35
    • Aidan on Let’s make this simple: “What is the “cunning plan” that you refer to here? As far as I can see, and perhaps there’s something…Dec 15, 11:24
    • Alf Baird on How Far To Go, How Far: “Sovereign Scots voted in successive majorities of SNP ‘nationalists’ to withdraw Scotland from the UK charade and to prevent an…Dec 15, 11:12
    • McDuff on The Idiot Rodeo: “It says a lot about the 34 female SNP MSPs the vast majority choosing to remain strangely silent on an…Dec 15, 11:12
    • Northcode on The Idiot Rodeo: “Morning all… I hope you all have a good Monday day. I tried to post a fascinating pile of mince…Dec 15, 11:08
    • Cynicus on The Idiot Rodeo: “I heard on the radio a short time ago, one afficionado of Love Street declare: “there is now only one…Dec 15, 10:47
    • Mike D on The Idiot Rodeo: “Only if she is squeeky clean, and the westminster spooks have no dirt on her.Dec 15, 08:25
    • Peter A Bell on Let’s make this simple: “The first problem with the Wings Over Scotland explanation is that even in its extremely simplified form, it goes right…Dec 15, 06:46
    • diabloandco on The Idiot Rodeo: “Is there not an octopus you could chat to? Or is that smart cephalopod dead?Dec 15, 06:08
    • Mark Beggan on The Idiot Rodeo: “@cynicus Mystic Mark predicts Scotland will progress to the next stage in the World cup. How they get there and…Dec 15, 00:47
    • Cynicus on The Idiot Rodeo: “O/T Congratulations on your initial football forecast 3-1 it was.Dec 15, 00:29
    • Mark Beggan on The Idiot Rodeo: “Well said. I have advocated for years that Independence is a struggle for future generations. Our concern is to make…Dec 15, 00:09
    • Young Lochinvar on The Idiot Rodeo: “Absolutely correct. Liberation Scotland has now started this and that’s why I have withdrawn support. YOOF wing will be next…Dec 14, 22:57
    • Lorncal on The Idiot Rodeo: “None of this should be a surprise to anyone. Not if it is accepted that the ‘trans’ lobby and the…Dec 14, 21:44
    • robertkknight on The Idiot Rodeo: “Sad but true. Gives me no pleasure to recall door stepping as a candidate, twice, in local elections for a…Dec 14, 21:20
    • Hatey McHateface on How Far To Go, How Far: “I guess your attention span didn’t last to the end, Alf. That will be how you missed: “Sovereign Scots just…Dec 14, 20:13
    • Hatey McHateface on The Idiot Rodeo: “No way. For your own safety and sanity you’ll get a fifth of a gill of what he’s drinking, in…Dec 14, 20:08
    • Eddie Munster on The Idiot Rodeo: “I think it’s our fault. We all joined up as members but never turned up to the local branch meetings,…Dec 14, 19:56
    • Platinum on The Idiot Rodeo: “I still can’t believe we’re having to fight against something so phenomenally STUPID!Dec 14, 19:12
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