Readers with any modest working knowledge of Scottish politics in recent years would naturally assume at first sight that the illiterate, corrupt, self-serving, gravy-hoovering drama student with whom the SNP hilariously replaced experienced KC Joanna Cherry as shadow justice secretary simply couldn’t spell “final straight”, a term meaning the easy last stretch of a horse race where there are no jumps or turns.

(We are, after all, talking here about someone who can’t spell her own name.)
But they might be wrong.
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comment, corruption, idiots, scottish politics
Until a few weeks ago Calum Steele was the chief of the Scottish Police Federation, so as due-credits go we particularly appreciate this one.

So let’s remind ourselves of a few things.
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comment, corruption, history, idiots, investigation, scottish politics
Well, we’re off to a flying start.

This is certainly what the public want. So let’s see his plans.
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analysis, comment, idiots, scottish politics
The beam on Kate Forbes’ face was quite something.


She’d clearly been exhausted by the contest some time ago, and must have been dreading winning and having to continue fighting the assault from within her own party. Her evident delight and relief at her own failure was a revealing moment.
The great unknown in this election was just who the SNP membership was. No poll could tell us, and with over 50,000 people having quit the party in the last three years, nobody knew who was left. But we know now: idiots.
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analysis, comment, idiots, scottish politics
We’ve been thinking about it since last night, and we’re not sure if Humza Yousaf now still has ANY of the policies he started the leadership election with.

But this one‘s got us extra-specially perplexed, since at the start it was pretty much the main unique selling point he was hanging his whole campaign on.
Maybe you can help us out, readers.
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comment, idiots, investigation, scottish politics, wtf
The mainstream Scottish political media might not have many professional standards, but there’s one it’s still pretty diligent about upholding.

And that’s that if a political party’s press office starts really taking liberties and making them look like fools, all bets (and gloves) are off.
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analysis, apocalypse, comment, corruption, idiots, scottish politics
…of the SNP has been in the post for quite some time.

Because no party can prosper for long when it’s stuffed full of complete dum-dums.
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analysis, comment, idiots, scottish politics
He’s not our man in the contest, but a free bit of advice for Humza Yousaf anyway.

When just about everyone with eyes and a brain in their head thinks the vote’s being rigged in your favour, and there’s tangible evidence of its dodginess, and the party’s track record in this area is in fact somewhat less than immaculate, then “just shut up and let it happen” is a really, really bad response.
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comment, corruption, idiots, scottish politics
This is beyond insane.

Like, obviously Rangers aren’t better than Celtic.
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Tags: and finally
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comment, corruption, idiots, scottish politics, wtf
Some sage advice from one of your elected representatives.

Let’s all be careful out there, folks.
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comment, idiots, scottish politics, uk politics
Diligently alert readers may have noticed that the SNP MP, former vomit-mopper and permanent embarrassment to braincells Stewart McDonald has an article in today’s National about the best way to look like he’s trying to secure independence without risking losing his cosy lucrative job in glamorous London with all his fancy MP pals.

(McDonald is also one of the party’s most virulent advocates of its massively unpopular gender reforms, which isn’t relevant to anything but we’ve got a streak to maintain.)
Unfortunately it’s 4,000 words long and unbearably boring, but since you pay us we’ve taken the bullet for you, read the whole thing and now present it here in précis form:
“Westminster will not recognise a vote of over 50% in a de facto referendum, but it WILL recognise a vote of LESS than 50% as a mandate for another referendum. Even though we’ve already achieved that four times and they’ve refused to recognise it, it’ll be different a fifth time because it just will.”
That’s it. That’s all you missed. As you were.
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analysis, comment, idiots, scottish politics, transcult