We’ll be honest, readers, we’ve spent most of the last five days sorting out our iPod music library. It’s a task that would make Hercules wince. 2,700 tracks infested with title case and all sorts of other grammatical catastrophes by crappy algorithms (there are songs on there categorised as being by variously “Adam And The Ants”, “Adam & The Ants” and “Adam and The Ants”, FFS), incorrect attributions and missing artwork.
That involved dealing with (shudder) iTunes, the worst piece of computer software ever written by humans – at least until its replacements, Apple Music and Apple Devices, which we had to switch to when halfway through the process, iTunes simply stopped recognising music at all.
(As far as we can tell, it’s now exclusively for managing podcasts.)
We could easily pen you 2000 pretty spicy words on the hundreds of different reasons why everyone who’s ever contributed to the creation of these monstrously dreadful, hateful apps should be thrown into a sewer full of rabid scorpions, and the main reason we’d do that – other than saving ourselves a fortune on therapy – is that it’d still be more interesting than writing about this complete and utter pishdrivel.
The only notable thing about the hilariously pompous “memorandum of understanding” that these two collections of shameless grifters signed up to at the weekend is that The National managed to find a couple of pages of space in its Sunday issue for it, since it’s got absolutely nothing to do with Palestine.
It’d be quite hard to find an image that more completely summed up the wretched state of the SNP in 2025 than this one. Look at that tiny handful of miserable faces, sitting dejectedly around a near-empty function room. It’s so bleak Mike Leigh could make an entire movie out of it.
And we know what you’re thinking – that we sat through some internet livestream to find the most pitiful-looking freezeframe imaginable to show them in a bad light. But nope. Kevin Stewart MSP posted this cheery snapshot of his own free will on Twitter on Sunday morning, presumably in the hope of boosting party morale in some way.
We’ve written a number of extremely, painstakingly detailed articles in the last few months explaining why list votes for the SNP at next year’s election will be wasted, and will serve only to elect Unionist (and in particular Reform) MSPs.
Unfortunately, some people still don’t get it.
And that’s understandable, because super-detailed articles are long and people have terribly short attention spans nowadays, especially if there are large tranches of fiddly arithmetic involved. So let’s go the opposite way.
(Apologies for our impromptu week off, we’ve been very busy with other stuff and there was nothing happening in Scottish politics anyway. See you on Monday.)
Nor was it even the fact that his death was captured in all its shocking, bloody horror on video, and inescapable on social media, nor that it came just the day after footage broke of another appalling killing in the States, the unprovoked stabbing of Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska by a violent lunatic who’d been released on no-fee bail despite 14 previous arrests and should never have been at large.
In the end, the most chilling thing about this particular crime is this: Charlie Kirk was killed for doing exactly what civilised people are supposed to do.
(From reporting of the proceedings at Westminster Magistrates Court, it sounds very much like Watson has been directing and influencing Tarquin’s complaints to the police – which had originally been dismissed as baseless – and was largely responsible for the matter getting to trial.)
But Watson isn’t the only middle-aged trans-identifying man with whom “Tarquin” has a seemingly close relationship when it comes to the relentless, vindictive persecution of people who believe in biological sex.
We think (but haven’t been able to verify) that that’s Watson on the left of the thumbnail of the above video, in the facemask and with a brown bag amid extraordinary scenes as Tarquin left the court after giving his evidence.
But the burly, blond bespectacled man at the centre of it, who appears to be acting as some sort of official representative for “Tarquin”, is Stephanie Hayden – born Anthony Halliday, who changed his name in 2005 to Steven Hayden shortly after being released from the Sex Offenders Register (more on that below) before obtaining a GRC in the name of “Stephanie” in 2017.
Hayden is a convicted paedophile and self-described lawyer who, like Lynsay Watson, dedicates his entire life to the persecution of gender-critical campaigners.
And as remarkable as it might seem to anyone who read our previous piece, Hayden may be the more toxic of the two.
We’ve written already about the magnitude of the error transactivists have made in bringing about the arrest of Graham Linehan on trumped-up incitement charges. But thanks to the excellent work of court reporter Nick Wallis this week, the sheer scale of it is still only beginning to unfold.
At its heart is a scarcely-believable tale about how a tiny handful of deeply mentally ill men – at the core, just three – have for years orchestrated a campaign of vindictive, hateful intimidation and terror which has caused untold suffering to individuals, done catastrophic damage to the reputation of the police, and cost the taxpayer millions of pounds, all in a desperate attempt to validate their own delusions.
It’s going to be no small task to summarise it for you. But let’s do our best.
The Scottish Greens, who until last year were a party of government, claim to have 7,600 members. This month they conducted an election to choose two people as their “co-conveners”, from a list of four candidates, and almost 90% of the party’s members decided that they didn’t want any of them.
And now today, just four years and three months of struggle later:
As far as we’re aware, today marks the first time the Scottish Government has formally acknowledged that transwomen are men. For our next trick, we’re going to send in an FOI asking if they know what religion the Pope is, or where bears go to the toilet.
Northcode on Clocks And Calendars: “Scotland is a colony. The Scots are a coloniZed people. The Scots have no democratic voice… at all. May’s election…” Apr 1, 13:44
robertkknight on Clocks And Calendars: “Deary me. Another day, another scandal… https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp86v8lze34o “SNP candidate urged to quit over handling of Linden complaints”” Apr 1, 13:32
Aidan on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Oh this will be fun – do let me about this Scottish independence supporters who have met an untimely death…” Apr 1, 12:09
Sven on Clocks And Calendars: “Used to be that what (allegedly) occurred in the Officers’ Mess at Falane stayed in the Mess.” Apr 1, 11:55
sam on Clocks And Calendars: “It seems the wife of a man accused of being a Chinese spy has been (allegedly) seeing the captain of…” Apr 1, 10:01
Geri on Protest But Don’t Survive: ““Let me guess, they were all foreign operatives. Soldiers fired machine guns indiscriminately into crowds of people on the street…” Apr 1, 09:44
Geri on Sicknote Slippers: “Don’t let it bother yer pretty wee head who people are voting for in Scotland. It won’t be Yoon unless…” Apr 1, 09:31
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Trump says Losing very simple, two syllables. It takes courage to visit the winners building. Everybody who loses gets…” Apr 1, 09:19
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Biden, Sleepy Joe says. Come on man that ain’t fair. What you going to say at the state of…” Apr 1, 09:01
Aidan on Sicknote Slippers: “@YL I mean that they aren’t showing up in the opinion polls, meaning they sit in the “Other parties” categories,…” Apr 1, 08:43
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Trump: Oh Lord, I’m only off the throne and Melanoma has come in for her Eastern European once a…” Apr 1, 08:27
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Trump; Uuuuurghhh! Squiiiiish.. Well good people of America- and democrats- latest update on truth social. All the Diet Coke-…” Apr 1, 08:01
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Senator says Starmer fighting Trump is like a Crawfish having a fight with a lawnmower. Very brave and very…” Apr 1, 07:47
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Trump: Well, that’s it. Keir Starmer is no Winston Churchill – great guy, pity I never knew him -…” Apr 1, 07:21
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “I see militarily unaware Pete Hegseth is clawing the “big bad Royal Navy” should be pulling US and Is Rye…” Apr 1, 06:15
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Trump says it’s all going to be over in 2 or 3 weeks. So; strap in everybody for the…” Apr 1, 05:57
Peter McAvoy on Clocks And Calendars: “For how long and how often have you criticised others posting forthright comments about politicians and their perceived inability to…” Apr 1, 01:54
Derek on Clocks And Calendars: “Martial law? Or do you mean that everything is to be turned up to 11?” Apr 1, 00:24
Jamie on Sicknote Slippers: “Aidan, you miss the point. If winning elections was all that mattered I would still vote SNP as they are…” Mar 31, 22:56
James on Sicknote Slippers: “YL; ach, he/she/it’s only following the script. Only obeying orders….” Mar 31, 22:34
George Ferguson on Clocks And Calendars: “@Peter McAvoy Because you don’t get to tell others on this site they are bastards. So I am not your…” Mar 31, 21:08
Young Lochinvar on Sicknote Slippers: “Wet P1shfart says; “A vote for the SNP is a vote for my pension pot! Vote SNP, vote for comfy…” Mar 31, 21:06
Young Lochinvar on Sicknote Slippers: “Aidan @ 12.32 “Liberate not even registered in the polls yet”.. Wowser!! Curiouser and curiouser as there’s already both a…” Mar 31, 21:03
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Malcolm Offord for comedian of the year award. It wouldn’t really be that difficult when you look at the rubbish…” Mar 31, 20:48
Peter McAvoy on Clocks And Calendars: “George How is contribution to you bank balance relevant about this issue? What is wrong with someone who opposed the…” Mar 31, 20:39
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Yet another pedo pooftah caught out? They’re falling like nine pins at the mo.. And they were all supposed to…” Mar 31, 20:38
George Ferguson on Clocks And Calendars: “@Peter McAvoy I have checked my bank account and you are not a contributor. Dont you think we have been…” Mar 31, 20:13
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Let’s blame someone It’s obviously someone else’s fault. Let’s get together and dance around the crooked clock.” Mar 31, 20:09
Onlooker on Clocks And Calendars: “Look at these two clowns. Sarwar – parents paid for his shitty political career. Baillie – a pie-scoffing brain-flatline. And…” Mar 31, 19:42