Actual Scottish politics news continues to be thinner on the ground than the crowds at a Donald Trump inauguration, so we sympathise once more with the gentle souls of the Scottish press as they endeavour to fill empty pages without doing anything more journalistically strenuous than slightly rewording a Labour or Tory press release.
Fortunately for us, of course, we’ve always got their dismal efforts to talk about.
I’ve always found that argument a bizarre one, firstly because it takes no account of people’s emotional attachments to either the UK or Scotland, and secondly because as this site has repeatedly pointed out Scotland is both a producer and consumer of hydrocarbon fuels, so low or high prices are neither an unalloyed good or an unalloyed bad thing for her citizens.
What is incontestable is that the revenue from 45 years of North Sea production has not been well managed by the United Kingdom in comparison to the other states who have benefited from this bounty.
So far so uncontentious.
Outside of constitutional questions, party politics in Scotland revolves around health, education and jobs, with every party more or less in favour of all three. But what if there was an existential threat not just to this trinity but to our entire way of life? Where would that fit in to our politics?
Judge Dredd: Origins was published in 2007, although in fact the basic story of how Bad Bob Booth became the last President of the USA and what he did next was established right back at the 1970s beginnings of Dredd’s parent comic 2000AD.
We actually have a theory that it’s all the Lib Dems’ fault.
Alert readers may recall as far back as July of last year, when we highlighted an odd thing that Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale had started saying.
Regardless of the fact that it was total hooey, Dugdale repeated it every chance she got, and the inevitable Scottish-media consequences have duly followed.
You very rarely get useful stats about online newspaper readership, so we were quite intrigued by this snippet on tonight’s BBC2 Scotland documentary “Paper Thistle”, about the 200th anniversary of The Scotsman.
We don’t know what the numbers are or how brief the period was, but Wings’ average traffic is higher now than it was in 2014, while we suspect The Scotsman is moving in the opposite direction. For a single-issue website to be anywhere even in the same ballpark as a two-centuries-old broadsheet news brand with scores of full-time writers and production staff and a daily newsstand presence is a remarkable thing indeed.
We might start doing classifieds and sport just to see what happens.
It’s a well-known fact, of course, that 87% of all statistics are made up. But as this site regularly observes, if you’re the Scottish opposition and media there’s no need to invent fake ones when you can twist the real ones to present an image completely at odds with the reality.
The Sunday Times today has some fine examples of the craft of massaging figures for the purposes of deception. It carries two separate scare stories on the NHS, both of them using figures which aren’t based on any sort of news, but on opposition spin on existing stats. One comes from the Tories, under a dramatic headline:
The banner is pulling a classic trick – the £685m figure is actually the total sum spent in a decade, not the single year that most people would assume (since there’s no good reason to measure spending in decades, so headlines usually don’t do it). But remarkably it’s just about the most honest thing in the paper’s health coverage today.
While normally the Unionist media deploys the ever-reliable blunt sledgehammer in its tireless war against Scotland controlling its own affairs, it’s also occasionally capable of more subtlety, slipping in a sneaky stiletto of a lie in passing. Take this piece from today’s Mail On Sunday:
The thing is, that’s not how currency reserves work.
As we’ve always understood it, readers, the definition of “news” is supposed to be “a new thing which has happened that people didn’t previously know about”.
Evidently the rules have changed since we were young cub reporters.
We’ve never been all that convinced by the political strategy of parties angrily pointing out their rivals have supposedly broken their manifesto promises once in government. After all, since by definition the complaining party was very probably opposed to the policies in question, shouldn’t they be delighted if they haven’t been enacted?
It’s even weirder if the opposition was the REASON the policies didn’t get enacted. It’s incredibly bizarre to vote something down (as the Unionist parties did repeatedly to the SNP minority administration of 2007-11 when it brought its manifesto pledges forward), and then huff at the governing party for the fact that you outvoted them.
But today the Scottish Tories have found an intriguing new twist on the wheeze.
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “An interesting article about how the EU – that wonderful EU that so many “Indy” Scots yearn to join with…” Aug 3, 08:25
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: ““a godsend to Scotland…..liven the place up from its geriatric torpor. many of them are rather well educated to boot”…” Aug 3, 07:32
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Not a bad post from Confused, there, shows what he can do when he’s not obsessing about his #1 and…” Aug 3, 07:18
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “” Right, so before much was known about it and no-one was reporting accurate numbers because they were not known,…” Aug 3, 06:48
twathater on The Deaf Eyes: “What a despicable response , as Knuckle_Heid upthread stated the condescension and contempt is palpable ,the fact that these people…” Aug 3, 03:04
Peter McAvoy on The Deaf Eyes: “Regarding a written constitution the term unwritten constitution is an oxymoron that has never to my memory been challenged. Most…” Aug 3, 02:33
Angus on The Deaf Eyes: “Do not let them defeat you.” Aug 3, 00:06
Confused on The Nobodies: “ottomannish-boy that’s a sloppy post and with very weak arguments re: islamic culture/science – you admit you took from earlier…” Aug 2, 23:30
Davy on The Deaf Eyes: “Look – just because the SNP government’s legal advisors (and Nicola Sturgeon appointees), Lord Advocate Dorothy Bain (SNP cabinet member)…” Aug 2, 22:47
Run the Border on The Deaf Eyes: “Written is not what is needed. People to demand better would do. Learned Hand. A US justice said that liberty…” Aug 2, 22:04
Young Lochinvar on The Deaf Eyes: “On a lighter note, to my great amusement I received a spam email circular looking into and seeking claimants for…” Aug 2, 21:20
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Right, so before much was known about it and no-one was reporting accurate numbers because they were not known, and…” Aug 2, 20:44
TURABDIN on The Nobodies: “according to stats the majority of not scottish born imigrants are white many of them elderly English. personally, without a…” Aug 2, 19:48
Northcode on The Deaf Eyes: “You’re referring to a different case. The question here is whether a trust existed for the SNP ‘ring-fenced’ money. It…” Aug 2, 19:44
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Deaf Eyes: “On the contrary – in the case of embezzlement they absolutely do. That’s why Peter Murrell is currently in a…” Aug 2, 19:06
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “I agree, TURABDIN, it’s not all about what you say. It is all about the ongoing colonisation of my country.…” Aug 2, 18:48
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Haud oan there, Alf. We’re still trying tae fathom fit yer “black skin, white masks” is aboot. Dae some o’…” Aug 2, 18:36
Northcode on The Deaf Eyes: “The COPFS is correct. The police found no evidence of either fraud or embezzlement in relation to ‘ring-fenced’ donations to…” Aug 2, 18:27
Chas on The Deaf Eyes: “It could be worse. At least I am not DaveL!” Aug 2, 18:24
Knuckle_Heid on The Deaf Eyes: “Jeeezzo – that response was fairly dripping in condescension. Thanks a lot for that COPFS, much appreciated. 8Ace himself could…” Aug 2, 18:01
Effijy on The Deaf Eyes: “Scarier and Scarier that what we have in place for justice cannot understand a simple question, need to consider how…” Aug 2, 17:01
Frank Gillougley on The Deaf Eyes: “Fuckin’ ‘ell Guv, that’s a belter. Well worthy of a Kafka award. Love the cartoon!” Aug 2, 16:53
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “Oh do be quiet with your “swear white is black” nonsense, lefty. That was the initial BBC headline. Deal with…” Aug 2, 16:39
Willie on The Deaf Eyes: “The response is simply a reflection of a gangster state with no functioning rule of law. The jackboot, the batton,…” Aug 2, 16:31
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Caveman, the BBC headline on 31 July was : ‘Spain’s PM blames traffickers after 60,000 migrants reach Ceuta from Morocco’.…” Aug 2, 16:24
DaveL on The Deaf Eyes: “FS! A token comment on the article above then straight into an attack on regular posters and small independence parties.…” Aug 2, 15:39
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Wally Jumblatt says: ‘And even worse, it gives the power to useless, bitter, uninspired people who don’t like each other.’…” Aug 2, 15:39
Roger Beaver on The Deaf Eyes: “Malfeasance/nonfeasance in public office? (https://duckduckgo.com/?q=malfeasance+in+public+office&t=ffab&ia=web)” Aug 2, 15:38
Patsy Millar on The Deaf Eyes: “Probably a bot. The give away is the lack of a surname and given a response I had to a…” Aug 2, 15:26
TURABDIN on The Deaf Eyes: “Burnham is making noises about a written constitution for the British state. He might take as a model that of…” Aug 2, 14:50