These are the comments of UK defence secretary Michael Fallon in a short interview with today’s Herald. We don’t know about you, folks, but to us it feels like Christmas.
We think our favourite line is “There are other voices in Scotland now, not least Ruth Davidson’s”, but there are a lot to choose from.
This is Conservative MP Dominic Raab, a member of the Brexit Select Committee, speaking on the BBC News Channel’s “Hard Talk” programme at 00.45 this morning. Perhaps imagining that nobody would be watching at such an ungodly hour, it seems he felt able to be unusually candid.
We left the last bit on in order to demonstrate that he was still talking about Scotland as well as Ireland. (He went on to recite the usual boilerplate about all leaving together as the UK etc etc, you can watch the whole show for yourself on iPlayer.)
But let’s just get that key early exchange down in writing for the record.
Readers familiar with our standing advice to newspaper customers that the headline is nearly always a lie might like to consider today’s Press & Journal.
The word “pyre” comes from the Greek word “pyra”, meaning “fire”. Surprisingly, it’s NOT the same root as “Pyrrhic”, as in “Pyrrhic victory”, meaning one that’s achieved by metaphorically burning your own city down. (Which in fact is named after the Greek general Pyrrhus of Epirus.)
The Sunday Herald ran an extraordinary article on page 2 yesterday, and by the time we’d finished being startled by what nonsense it was, it set us wondering about why.
Because when you really want people with their finger on the pulse of Scottish politics to analyse the implications of the Supreme Court decision on Brexit, where else would you go but to Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff, to hear from um, former rugby league star and haircut pioneer Martin Offiah?
Way back in October last year we analysed what now seems to have become the key plank of Unionist argument against independence in the wake of Brexit – the idea that because Scotland does more trade with the rest of the UK than it does with the EU, independence would be economic suicide because Scotland would be sacrificing “the UK single market” (a thing that doesn’t actually exist ) for a much smaller one.
It’s a completely idiotic position, but to be honest we didn’t do a very good job of boiling the counter-argument down to something snappy and quoteable, so let’s have another go and see if we can manage something a little better.
We followed with interest an exchange over the weekend between Times columnist Kenny Farquharson and the anti-Brexit QC Jolyon Maugham, regarding the difference between the UK government’s insistence that there won’t be a hard border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland because of the UK leaving the EU, and its continued insistence that there WOULD have to be one between the rUK and an independent Scotland, despite the legal circumstances being indistinguishable.
Farquharson, who like much of the Scottish political commentariat clings doggedly to the implausible dream of a “federal” UK, was adamant that the rules would – and indeed that they should – be different for the two ostensibly identical situations, and his given reason was a deeply disturbing one.
Kenny, it seems, thinks Scottish nationalists should do a lot more murdering.
Actual Scottish politics news continues to be thinner on the ground than the crowds at a Donald Trump inauguration, so we sympathise once more with the gentle souls of the Scottish press as they endeavour to fill empty pages without doing anything more journalistically strenuous than slightly rewording a Labour or Tory press release.
Fortunately for us, of course, we’ve always got their dismal efforts to talk about.
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: ““a godsend to Scotland…..liven the place up from its geriatric torpor. many of them are rather well educated to boot”…” Aug 3, 07:32
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Not a bad post from Confused, there, shows what he can do when he’s not obsessing about his #1 and…” Aug 3, 07:18
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “” Right, so before much was known about it and no-one was reporting accurate numbers because they were not known,…” Aug 3, 06:48
twathater on The Deaf Eyes: “What a despicable response , as Knuckle_Heid upthread stated the condescension and contempt is palpable ,the fact that these people…” Aug 3, 03:04
Peter McAvoy on The Deaf Eyes: “Regarding a written constitution the term unwritten constitution is an oxymoron that has never to my memory been challenged. Most…” Aug 3, 02:33
Angus on The Deaf Eyes: “Do not let them defeat you.” Aug 3, 00:06
Confused on The Nobodies: “ottomannish-boy that’s a sloppy post and with very weak arguments re: islamic culture/science – you admit you took from earlier…” Aug 2, 23:30
Davy on The Deaf Eyes: “Look – just because the SNP government’s legal advisors (and Nicola Sturgeon appointees), Lord Advocate Dorothy Bain (SNP cabinet member)…” Aug 2, 22:47
Run the Border on The Deaf Eyes: “Written is not what is needed. People to demand better would do. Learned Hand. A US justice said that liberty…” Aug 2, 22:04
Young Lochinvar on The Deaf Eyes: “On a lighter note, to my great amusement I received a spam email circular looking into and seeking claimants for…” Aug 2, 21:20
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Right, so before much was known about it and no-one was reporting accurate numbers because they were not known, and…” Aug 2, 20:44
TURABDIN on The Nobodies: “according to stats the majority of not scottish born imigrants are white many of them elderly English. personally, without a…” Aug 2, 19:48
Northcode on The Deaf Eyes: “You’re referring to a different case. The question here is whether a trust existed for the SNP ‘ring-fenced’ money. It…” Aug 2, 19:44
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Deaf Eyes: “On the contrary – in the case of embezzlement they absolutely do. That’s why Peter Murrell is currently in a…” Aug 2, 19:06
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “I agree, TURABDIN, it’s not all about what you say. It is all about the ongoing colonisation of my country.…” Aug 2, 18:48
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Haud oan there, Alf. We’re still trying tae fathom fit yer “black skin, white masks” is aboot. Dae some o’…” Aug 2, 18:36
Northcode on The Deaf Eyes: “The COPFS is correct. The police found no evidence of either fraud or embezzlement in relation to ‘ring-fenced’ donations to…” Aug 2, 18:27
Chas on The Deaf Eyes: “It could be worse. At least I am not DaveL!” Aug 2, 18:24
Knuckle_Heid on The Deaf Eyes: “Jeeezzo – that response was fairly dripping in condescension. Thanks a lot for that COPFS, much appreciated. 8Ace himself could…” Aug 2, 18:01
Effijy on The Deaf Eyes: “Scarier and Scarier that what we have in place for justice cannot understand a simple question, need to consider how…” Aug 2, 17:01
Frank Gillougley on The Deaf Eyes: “Fuckin’ ‘ell Guv, that’s a belter. Well worthy of a Kafka award. Love the cartoon!” Aug 2, 16:53
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “Oh do be quiet with your “swear white is black” nonsense, lefty. That was the initial BBC headline. Deal with…” Aug 2, 16:39
Willie on The Deaf Eyes: “The response is simply a reflection of a gangster state with no functioning rule of law. The jackboot, the batton,…” Aug 2, 16:31
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Caveman, the BBC headline on 31 July was : ‘Spain’s PM blames traffickers after 60,000 migrants reach Ceuta from Morocco’.…” Aug 2, 16:24
DaveL on The Deaf Eyes: “FS! A token comment on the article above then straight into an attack on regular posters and small independence parties.…” Aug 2, 15:39
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Wally Jumblatt says: ‘And even worse, it gives the power to useless, bitter, uninspired people who don’t like each other.’…” Aug 2, 15:39
Roger Beaver on The Deaf Eyes: “Malfeasance/nonfeasance in public office? (https://duckduckgo.com/?q=malfeasance+in+public+office&t=ffab&ia=web)” Aug 2, 15:38
Patsy Millar on The Deaf Eyes: “Probably a bot. The give away is the lack of a surname and given a response I had to a…” Aug 2, 15:26
TURABDIN on The Deaf Eyes: “Burnham is making noises about a written constitution for the British state. He might take as a model that of…” Aug 2, 14:50
Sean Duffy on The Deaf Eyes: “Is there a mechanism available to the lieges to compel the COPFS and the Chief Constable to carry out their…” Aug 2, 13:59