In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
Aidan on Faces In Sand: “What a stupid thing to say Dan, an aviation professional likely means a highly specialised, industry-specific set of skills. It’s…” Oct 28, 13:20
Hamish M on Faces In Sand: “Sadly, a lot of Scotch whisky has greatly declined in quality. Casks are being reused too often to save money…” Oct 28, 13:18
Lorncal on Faces In Sand: “Alf: there are hundreds of thousands of Unionists in Scotland who believe explicitly and implicitly in the Union. Telling them…” Oct 28, 12:43
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “Thank you, I’ll keep an eye out for that and will watch with interest.” Oct 28, 12:41
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: ““One thing I’m interested in with all this talk about International Law is the aviation policy of an independent Scotland.”…” Oct 28, 12:11
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “Oh sorry, I forgot, in today’s tribal times people aren’t allowed to think critically and change their mind with changing…” Oct 28, 11:55
Dan on Faces In Sand: “spartan says: “As an Aviation professional and independence supporter I’ve been seeking clarification on this since before the last referendum…” Oct 28, 11:17
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “As usual, confusing “opinion” and “fact”, Prof. P.S. Watched your SSRG speech, interesting points to note – some of which…” Oct 28, 10:46
Captain Caveman on Faces In Sand: “To be fair, I was obviously talking about you, Alf, not some other guy. Since you brought him up, though,…” Oct 28, 10:23
Colin Alexander on Faces In Sand: “Just checking: Are you “£1,400 better off” per year as colonial subjects of the English Crown?” Oct 28, 10:13
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “On the increasingly obvious reality of the longstanding annexation of Scotland by England, only an eegit would describe Prof Robert…” Oct 28, 10:06
Captain Caveman on Faces In Sand: ““Correction: Annexed Scotland has been subject to the Union hoax since 1707.” Correction: Just because some deranged, delusional, narcissistic old…” Oct 28, 09:46
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: ““We have been part of a Union since 1707” Correction: Annexed Scotland has been subject to the Union hoax since…” Oct 28, 09:28
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “I tried that working at night idea but security would never let me in. Jobsworth, fascist cants. A wee word…” Oct 28, 08:55
Minceheid on Faces In Sand: “Hatey McHateface says: 28 October, 2026 at 7:40 am Compared with a 6-pack, a single bottle is easier to shoplift.…” Oct 28, 08:12
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “It’s not Moon cheese. That’s the kind I’ve been conditioned to believe in. I’m sure you’re right, SBS. You do…” Oct 28, 07:47
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Compared with a 6-pack, a single bottle is easier to shoplift. Not me, I hasten to add. Not now the…” Oct 28, 07:40
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “@ Aidan If the production method to make English whisky is cheaper where savings are passed on and is just…” Oct 27, 21:19
Southernbystander on Faces In Sand: “Plenty of cheese in England Hatey, just saying.” Oct 27, 21:01
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “100% Yes. I’m content with a just a few of can’s of lager myself 🙂” Oct 27, 20:55
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “You do make me laugh Hatey. I can still feel the tremors of you banging your desk as you read…” Oct 27, 20:53
Aidan on Faces In Sand: “I will stick my neck out and say not a single job will be affected, Scottish whisky is unassailable” Oct 27, 20:45
Lorncal on Faces In Sand: “Northcode: you are going to be hugely disappointed if and when you go down that route and try to body…” Oct 27, 20:25
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “So it has to be gloves off on our part. Make the English barsturts rue the day they ever dared…” Oct 27, 20:21
100%Yes on Faces In Sand: “I do love my Bailey’s 1tre at Asda £11.” Oct 27, 20:20
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “…e.g. all those ‘democratic mandates’ ignored by the colonizer.” Oct 27, 19:39
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “Had to laugh at this. https://archive.is/Az6Nl English whisky GI approved with no Scotch impact assessment I say this in light…” Oct 27, 18:29
Oneliner on Faces In Sand: “Members of he Nazi hierarchy were not offered financial inducement for their signed approval. Members of the Scottish nobility of…” Oct 27, 17:42
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “International law concerning territorial alienation suggests there is no democracy for people in an annexed country.” Oct 27, 16:09
Minceheid on Faces In Sand: “Hatey McHateface says: 27 October, 2026 at 1:48 pm It could be that I’ve been fraudulently enjoying mental feebleness benefits…” Oct 27, 15:49
