We wouldn’t say that the Scottish Daily Mail was obsessed or anything, but this is just today’s hysterical coverage of possible changes to taxation in Scotland which haven’t even been PROPOSED yet, let alone actually passed into law.
The efforts by the Scottish Tories to pull off some frankly ambitious shenanigans over today’s Budget continued overnight in increasingly bizarre fashion.
As with the Poppy Scotland funding, the party appears to be quite openly punting the line “We knew all along that this was possible and the right thing to do, but we deliberately punished Scotland for not electing enough Tory MPs”, in what can only be reasonably interpreted as an attempt at blackmailing future electorates.
The Scottish media, meanwhile, is doing its best to sell the issue as “a plague on both their houses”, holding the Scottish Government and UK government equally culpable for the mess. So let’s see what we know.
Yesterday’s edition of the Scottish Mail On Sunday devoted most of a page to a weird column from Ruth Davidson (in which she appeared to believe that Alex Salmond was still the First Minister), crowing about the great deal that Scotland’s 13 Tory MPs have supposedly won for Scotland in this week’s coming budget.
The first alleged fruits of the deal were revealed today.
That tweet is quite disturbing in itself, because what it unmistakeably implies is that if Scotland had voted for more SNP MPs in June and fewer Tories, the UK government would have retaliated by spitefully punishing innocent war veterans.
And Poppy Scotland weren’t too pleased about being weaponised either.
Seriously, all those millions in development, all the hundreds of pounds people have spent buying the PS4 and the VR headset and the game and the upgrade – how hard could it be to have it detect when you'd gone seriously off track and have the navigator go "ARGH! SHIT! OW! BLOODY HELL, GET BACK ON THE ROAD YOU MORON!", so as to not completely ruin the whole thing?
How dull-witted do you have to be, how far have you missed the point by, to obsess over every last wheelnut in the name of "realism" and then sit the player beside a virtually-real companion who keeps calmly reading out directions even as the car he's in plummets down a mountainside on its roof? For God's sake.
This is Spectator columnist Alex Massie reacting earlier this week to the news of Alex Salmond doing a show for Russian news channel RT.
Alex Salmond is these days a private individual with no responsibilities to anyone, and RT is a legal, Ofcom-licenced UK broadcaster whose output is beamed free into every home in the land.
The first episode of The Alex Salmond Show featured guests from both Labour and the Tories, opened with lengthy discussion and advocation of women’s and LGBT rights, followed by a 15-minute interview with deposed Catalan president Carles Puigdemont – something which has proven beyond the capabilities of mainstream UK news outlets despite the remarkable events currently engulfing an EU member state.
(BBC Scotland, we should perhaps note at this point, does not currently carry a single dedicated political TV show from a Scottish perspective at all and hasn’t done for more than a year.)
Massie used some slightly more measured language when it came to writing about the show in the Spectator, merely describing Salmond as an “idiot”, a “fool”, a “chump”, “pitiful”, “embarrassing” and “disgraceful”. But when it came to another former Scottish party leader, he was for some reason in a rather more forgiving mood.
We’ll be honest, readers – if this doesn’t make you want to leave the UK all by itself, it may be that there’s nothing that ever will and we should just give up.
(Alternative titles considered for this piece included Live And Please Let Die, Doctor Oh God No, The Barely-Living Daylights and Quantum Of Bollocks.)
This documentary starts a little slowly, but becomes an eye-opening case study of how Labour steamrollered through crippling PFI contracts to build public infrastructure on the never-never when they ran the Scottish Executive from 1999-2007.
Since David Torrance shows no sign of being willing to retract the falsehood below that he tweeted earlier today despite our requests, we’ll have to address it here. Apologies for the indulgence.
We can find nowhere that we made any allegation of Torrance being “paid” by RT. We tweeted that he’d “worked for”them, and said he’d “simply appeared on” the channel. Neither of those statements claims that any money changed hands. If Torrance says that he worked for RT for nothing purely in order to get some free publicity for his book, we’re happy to accept that at face value.
(Although we’re not sure if that makes it better or worse, to be honest.)
Yesterday’s Daily Record (which would increasingly be an accurate three-word name for the paper) ran an innocuous piece of page-filler fluff rubbish, and for once we’re not talking about a David Torrance column.
It featured the “psychic” predictions of a man who, the Record told us – no fewer than FIVE times in the opening few lines – previously predicted Donald Trump’s victory in the US presidential election, and who had a track record of “incredible accuracy”.
Mainstream and social media alike are now well into their second day of an absolutely epic meltdown at the news that Alex Salmond is to broadcast a chat show on RT, the Russian equivalent of the BBC.
It really is almost impossible to overstate the magnitude of the shrieking fit the decision has produced. Addled old Lords with criminal convictions for violently and drunkenly assaulting Her Majesty’s police have with an audacious lack of self-awareness decried the immorality of one of HM’s advisors going on TV to talk about stuff, and one Lib Dem MSP has even gone so far as to raise a Holyrood motion demanding that the state interferes with the lawful employment choices of a private citizen.
We imagine that RT will be beside itself with joy at the avalanche of publicity the UK press and political sphere is giving it. We’d be amazed if the hysterical brouhaha didn’t double or treble the audience figures that Salmond could otherwise have expected.
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Dear Slave, Shut up and eat your porridge or we will stop your privileges. Yours faithfully Sir Biggus ‘Fluffy’ Dickus…” Sep 4, 13:22
James Che on Anything But That: “There is ni UK parliament concerning Scotland, as the UK parliament has a start date of origin of 1800, When…” Sep 4, 12:03
James Che on Anything But That: “Willie, Jacob rees Mog was on his podcast yesterday praising that should the lights go out, not to worry as…” Sep 4, 11:58
Northcode on Anything But That: ““Plunder Scotland (UK) is a carpetbagging operation largely owned by non-Scottish, foreign ‘investors’ and overseen by Westminster who takes a…” Sep 4, 11:15
willie on Anything But That: “The issue of carbon emissions is a huge one and it certainly seems that the world climate is warming with…” Sep 4, 10:39
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “It is on. Stop Oil have glued their genitals to the tarmac. Expect more from the nutty putty brigade of…” Sep 4, 10:27
Lynn Fraser on This Other Earth: “My husband and I got refunds. We also contacted the Police using the crime reference number. We were both interviewed…” Sep 4, 10:20
James Che on Anything But That: “Well I am laughing an thise union minded people that cannot confirm there is a 1707 treaty of today, But…” Sep 4, 10:03
Marie on Anything But That: ““freedom of information battles”. Personally I wouldn’t eat the fish – but I’m only an ex-cancer nurse.” Sep 4, 09:53
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “MSM reporting Jackdaw and Rosebank to go ahead: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2026/sep/04/jackdaw-gasfield-set-to-be-approved-by-ministers-this-month-sources-say Who knows, it may actually be true! If it is, Scotland…” Sep 4, 08:59
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “@GM “67% of all available housing must go to immigrants(not people seeking refuge or folk from abroad who have found…” Sep 4, 07:55
Hatey Mchateface on Anything But That: “Ach, c’moan, Mark. Long before Reform have taken power, the UN decolonisation committee will have gifted us our freedom. If…” Sep 4, 07:49
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “You’ll be fine, Wee Wally. Scotland still gets the top shelf mags.” Sep 4, 07:40
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Should have known you’d stick up for Northy, Wee Wally. What with Tourettes being the verbal equivalent of w@nking.” Sep 4, 07:35
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Food for thought. It is not a case of if but when will Reform take power and when they do…” Sep 4, 04:11
GM on Anything But That: “Well, you are a Pict? Probably.” Sep 4, 02:50
GM on Anything But That: “Unless of course they are actually lining us up for a vote we are in an utterly dire position to…” Sep 4, 02:08
GM on Anything But That: “By the way, the people I see on the street, actually sleeping on the street I have never seen drunk…” Sep 4, 01:27
GM on Anything But That: “67% of all available housing must go to immigrants(not people seeking refuge or folk from abroad who have found themselves…” Sep 4, 01:13
James on Anything But That: “Better a Pict than a “Prick” though eh, SP?” Sep 3, 22:33
James on Anything But That: “Hey everybodee… England gets the revenues. Scotland gets the nukes! Yaaaaaay! Rejoice!” Sep 3, 22:22
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “I asked Google: “how many countries or peoples can be described by specific English words by those who hate them”…” Sep 3, 21:29
agentx on Anything But That: “what is it in your Indigenous language?” Sep 3, 21:24
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Well, you are a Pict. A thousand year old, space traveling one at that. Whether in reality, or just self-identified,…” Sep 3, 21:12
Northcode on Anything But That: ““…you hate the English.” They hated me first! But, seriously, I don’t hate the English… I don’t hate anyone. I…” Sep 3, 20:28
Aidan on Anything But That: “We get it Northcode, you hate the English.” Sep 3, 19:49
Northcode on Anything But That: ““… yet the two nations and peoples can be friends now.” Setting aside this logic falling victim to the fallacy…” Sep 3, 19:23
Aidan on Anything But That: “Yeah again I think most people can get over the events of 300+ years ago. Within some people’s lifetimes, the…” Sep 3, 18:47
Northcode on Anything But That: “… or even “Keyboard Tourettes” for those who think the possessive term is misplaced. Perhaps i do suffer from keybored…” Sep 3, 18:32