This is Spectator columnist Alex Massie reacting earlier this week to the news of Alex Salmond doing a show for Russian news channel RT.
Alex Salmond is these days a private individual with no responsibilities to anyone, and RT is a legal, Ofcom-licenced UK broadcaster whose output is beamed free into every home in the land.
The first episode of The Alex Salmond Show featured guests from both Labour and the Tories, opened with lengthy discussion and advocation of women’s and LGBT rights, followed by a 15-minute interview with deposed Catalan president Carles Puigdemont – something which has proven beyond the capabilities of mainstream UK news outlets despite the remarkable events currently engulfing an EU member state.
(BBC Scotland, we should perhaps note at this point, does not currently carry a single dedicated political TV show from a Scottish perspective at all and hasn’t done for more than a year.)
Massie used some slightly more measured language when it came to writing about the show in the Spectator, merely describing Salmond as an “idiot”, a “fool”, a “chump”, “pitiful”, “embarrassing” and “disgraceful”. But when it came to another former Scottish party leader, he was for some reason in a rather more forgiving mood.
We’ll be honest, readers – if this doesn’t make you want to leave the UK all by itself, it may be that there’s nothing that ever will and we should just give up.
(Alternative titles considered for this piece included Live And Please Let Die, Doctor Oh God No, The Barely-Living Daylights and Quantum Of Bollocks.)
This documentary starts a little slowly, but becomes an eye-opening case study of how Labour steamrollered through crippling PFI contracts to build public infrastructure on the never-never when they ran the Scottish Executive from 1999-2007.
Since David Torrance shows no sign of being willing to retract the falsehood below that he tweeted earlier today despite our requests, we’ll have to address it here. Apologies for the indulgence.
We can find nowhere that we made any allegation of Torrance being “paid” by RT. We tweeted that he’d “worked for”them, and said he’d “simply appeared on” the channel. Neither of those statements claims that any money changed hands. If Torrance says that he worked for RT for nothing purely in order to get some free publicity for his book, we’re happy to accept that at face value.
(Although we’re not sure if that makes it better or worse, to be honest.)
Yesterday’s Daily Record (which would increasingly be an accurate three-word name for the paper) ran an innocuous piece of page-filler fluff rubbish, and for once we’re not talking about a David Torrance column.
It featured the “psychic” predictions of a man who, the Record told us – no fewer than FIVE times in the opening few lines – previously predicted Donald Trump’s victory in the US presidential election, and who had a track record of “incredible accuracy”.
Mainstream and social media alike are now well into their second day of an absolutely epic meltdown at the news that Alex Salmond is to broadcast a chat show on RT, the Russian equivalent of the BBC.
It really is almost impossible to overstate the magnitude of the shrieking fit the decision has produced. Addled old Lords with criminal convictions for violently and drunkenly assaulting Her Majesty’s police have with an audacious lack of self-awareness decried the immorality of one of HM’s advisors going on TV to talk about stuff, and one Lib Dem MSP has even gone so far as to raise a Holyrood motion demanding that the state interferes with the lawful employment choices of a private citizen.
We imagine that RT will be beside itself with joy at the avalanche of publicity the UK press and political sphere is giving it. We’d be amazed if the hysterical brouhaha didn’t double or treble the audience figures that Salmond could otherwise have expected.
Today’s Cairnstoon will be along a little later. But in the meantime, if you’re anywhere in the vicinity of Glasgow (or if you’re not, but hurry), today offers a rare opportunity go along and physically touch the magical drawing fingers of the artist himself, as Mr Cairns takes time out from his busy schedule of holidays to launch the second volume of his splendid sketchings, alongside other beloved Wings contributors Greg Moodie and the esteemed Wee Ginger Dug (plus his human butler Paul Kavanagh).
(Please note that Mr Cairns is currently carrying a rather painful spinal injury probably incurred during an an overenthusiastic golf swing, so we respectfully ask any readers who may be planning particularly expressive bearhugs or backslaps to ca’ canny.)
Wings Over Scotland turned six years old this week (on Tuesday, to be precise). We didn’t make any fuss or hoopla because we didn’t have anything particularly interesting to say about it, although we may as well note in passing that average monthly unique readership for 2017 to date has been 316,015 – that’s 24,000 up on the same period in 2016 and 16,000 higher than January-October 2015, despite this being the dullest year in Scottish politics since the site began.
But it’s just been brought to our attention that on our birthday the Scottish Government happened to publish its response to an FOI request from a notoriously mad and creepy Yoon troll who’s been repeatedly banned by Twitter but keeps coming back with new accounts. We thought you’d be modestly amused by it, because the Yoons are raging.
It’s been a difficult few months for a variety of reasons (although some of the technical aspects of that should improve in about a week’s time), but we’ll keep on keeping on.
It is with the heaviest of hearts, readers, that we must report to you that Gordon Brown has done an intervention again.
With a new book to sell, the purposeless former Chancellor and Prime Minister who led the UK into a catastrophic financial crisis that’s now entering its second decade has put on his hindsight goggles and made a whole series of bewildering proclamations after the event, which have – naturally – been dutifully received and repeated by the fawning Scottish press like God handing down the Ten Commandments to Moses.
Anthem on The Nobodies: “Ah, so that’s why BP bought up all those natural energy licences and about to pump £bn’s into it. They’re…” Jul 31, 21:21
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Because the Scottish government is even keener on Nutt Zero than WM. Because the Scottish government has committed Scotland to…” Jul 31, 19:51
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Strange as it is for me to be sticking up for Confused, he does have a point. I am willing…” Jul 31, 19:43
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “It’s doable if we get the towel heids to do all the hard bits. No doubt that’s the part of…” Jul 31, 19:32
Insider on The Nobodies: “Anthem @ 6:05, You’re having a laugh, aren’t you ?” Jul 31, 18:53
Anthem on The Nobodies: “A little off topic, but why can’t the Scottish government purchase the oil & Gas from BP? It would make…” Jul 31, 18:05
Jay on The Nobodies: “Thank you Agent x” Jul 31, 17:16
Minceheid on The Nobodies: “To be fair they did have a few clever ideas back in yer Golden Age, but sadly it all went…” Jul 31, 16:59
100%Yes on The Nobodies: “The words coming out of your mouth started Nazi Party in Germany. But its only joking, its a same that…” Jul 31, 16:26
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Occam’s Razor suggests they did invent zero. They needed to put something on the measuring stick to record their cultural…” Jul 31, 15:25
agentx on The Nobodies: “Headline: “Craig Murray unveils Scottish independence plan – that could trigger war” ———————————– Read the full fantasy proposals here: https://archive.ph/okGN0#selection-1235.0-1235.72” Jul 31, 15:18
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “All very true, Northy, but on an Indy supporting site like this one, you omit (I’m certain accidentally 🙂 )…” Jul 31, 15:12
Confused on The Nobodies: “spain invaded by 49 BILLION potential workers to boost the ECONMYUNTHENETZERO (ursula never done lyin was down there, taking line…” Jul 31, 15:01
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: ““Black Skin, White Masks”, eh, Alf? If only we could fathom what that might be about, we could deduce how…” Jul 31, 14:59
Alf Baird on The Nobodies: “A highly informative paper, Fearghas. I especially noted the following, although there is much more in the paper to explain…” Jul 31, 14:40
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “MSM now reporting 60,000 migrants. The usual population of Ceuta is approximately 84,000. This is the second mass invasion. The…” Jul 31, 14:38
Northcode on The Nobodies: “Ceuta is land-joined to North Africa and is not a part of mainland Spain. Most of the 49,000 migrants walked…” Jul 31, 14:28
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “Well, I don’t think the Italians are best pleased with Spain’s hopelessly lefty government right now. Not at all. Not…” Jul 31, 13:59
Minceheid on The Nobodies: “Captain Caveman says: 31 July, 2026 at 12:52 pm I love the way the BBC described these 49,000 as “500…” Jul 31, 13:32
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “@Captain Caveman says: 31 July, 2026 at 12:52 pm ‘I love the way the BBC described these 49,000 as “500…” Jul 31, 13:31
Young Lochinvar on The Nobodies: “HMcH In yer haste tae respond you missed the opportunity to quip about the face that launched a thousand boats…” Jul 31, 13:19
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Nobodies: “A 2016 (English-subtitled) interview with Fearghal Mac Bhloscaidh. 1916 Centenary analysis. 1916-2016 COTHROM CÉAD BLIAIN: Fearghal Mac Bhloscaidh (Gaeilge: NvTv)…” Jul 31, 13:03
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “I love the way the BBC described these 49,000 as “500 swimmers”.” Jul 31, 12:52
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Nobodies: “The following is the latest blog article from Fearghal Mac Bhloscaidh, Senior Lecturer in History at St. Mary’s University, Belfast.…” Jul 31, 12:47
Minceheid on The Nobodies: “Hatey McHateface says: 31 July, 2026 at 11:11 am Interesting to see that the calls for suspension of EU freedom…” Jul 31, 12:15
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “49,000! That’s a lot of renewable energy consultants, dentists and optometrists. Interesting to see that the calls for suspension of…” Jul 31, 11:11
agentx on The Nobodies: ““The Spanish interior ministry has just said that more than 49,000 people are believed to have swum or walked into…” Jul 31, 10:34
agentx on The Nobodies: “AI response: “On the Wings Over Scotland blog, the absence of a “reply” button on certain comments is caused by…” Jul 31, 10:31
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “@ Young Lochinvar says: 30 July, 2026 at 11:05 pm “I see the casting of a black actress … is…” Jul 31, 10:14
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “The “Spanish Gibraltar”, Ceuta, is appealing for help from the mother country after an estimated 2 to 3 thousand Moroccans…” Jul 31, 08:26