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Wings Over Scotland


The Ballad Of The Chief Reporter 103

Posted on May 18, 2018 by

Well, the timing of this is rather unfortunate.

If only someone had said something, eh?

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Nations overboard 178

Posted on May 17, 2018 by

As alert readers will recall, this week we commissioned Panelbase to poll the good people of England, and we got some answers that we think will blow your minds. But we’re going to start with one we suspect people will find sad, but all too predictable.

Many will remember bitterly the short-lived “lovebombing” campaign from the indyref, in which a list of semi-celebrities from the rest of the UK was assembled to assure Scots of how much they were valued and cherished by their UK partners.

Four years on, not so much.

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The most popular policy in the world 84

Posted on May 16, 2018 by

Just before we (thankfully) stop talking about this insanity entirely, one last thing.

This month, just for fun and a bit of a change, we’ve commissioned a Panelbase poll NOT of voters in Scotland, but our neighbours to the south. English folk are always complaining that in a world of UK devolution nobody speaks for them and them alone – Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have their own Parliaments, but not England.

So we polled 1020 English people (and we do mean English – we restricted responses to people who were both resident in England and were born there) about all kinds of things. Many were related to England’s relationship with Scotland and the rest of the UK, but while we were there we figured we might as well ask some other stuff too.

And as the UK parliament hotly debates Leveson 2 and press freedom in general, it seemed a pertinent time to re-ask a question which in polling invariably unites people of every colour, creed, class and persuasion across the entire UK, and which might be the only political policy anywhere in the UK which comes even close to matching the mass popularity of Scotland’s now-repealed Offensive Behaviour (Football) Act.

It’s this one:

English people love the Queen, but not as much as they love this idea. Men, women, young, old, rich, poor, Tory, Labour, homeowner, tenant, worker, student, it makes no difference. Overwhelming majorities of every single demographic support putting an end to the ridiculous situation that newspapers can get away with blaring an untrue story all over the front page (and pages 2, 3, 4 and 5) in gigantic screaming type, and then print the correction in a microscopic corner of page 23 two months later.

It’s just about the only thing that totally unites Remain and Leave voters – our poll found identical responses (79% for, 5% against) among those who want Brexit and those who want to stay in the EU.

It’s simple, practical and costs nothing. We can’t for the life of us work out why nobody is prepared to offer it to the nation. If any party wants to actually win the next election, we’d suggest sticking it on the front of the manifesto and preparing for a landslide.

While we’re talking about job descriptions 108

Posted on May 16, 2018 by

Which we were this morning, perhaps someone should tell David Mundell his.

Because he seems a little confused about it.

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David Leask: a correction 113

Posted on May 16, 2018 by

It has come to our attention that the Newsquest journalist David Leask spent all day yesterday issuing a long series of angry and rather insulting tweets asserting that this website had misidentified the nature of his employment in a number of articles.

Naturally, we wish to eradicate any uncertainty or possible errors.

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The Angry Man 408

Posted on May 14, 2018 by

So it seems our article of earlier today rattled the Herald’s cage but good. Scottish political Twitter has been an absolute logjam of incandescent Herald Group hacks all afternoon, making all manner of wild accusations and threats. At the head of the fury, of course, was Chief Reporter And Witchfinder General Mr David Leask.

Unfamiliar with the Scottish media? God, how we wish THAT was true.

Leask issued a long (long) stream of invective on Twitter, while hiding behind a block that means we can’t post any responses to it that any of his Twitter followers will see. So for the record, we suppose we’ll have to address them here.

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The new world champion of irony 172

Posted on May 14, 2018 by

Take a bow, Angela Haggerty of the Sunday Herald:

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Holiday Boy Still On Holiday 356

Posted on May 12, 2018 by

Chris Cairns continues to slack in the USA.

We anticipate his return to the drawing board next weekend, the wastrel.

Only Bad In Scotland 344

Posted on May 10, 2018 by

Following the Scottish media’s week-long frenzy of stories about the “scandal” of baby boxes – in which it was revealed to the astonishment of the nation that cardboard is flammable and incapable of stopping an armoured assault from a tank division or a zombie plague – we were a little startled to note that the Guardian (which has now run THREE stories about how terrible it is to give babies nice free stuff) didn’t always have such a downer on the project.

Apparently (and as recently as this February) baby boxes are “great innovations” and “hugely popular” – so long as the SNP aren’t involved, of course, at which point they turn into grotesque deathtraps.

And it got us wondering: what else is only terrible when it happens in Scotland?

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Lower than the lowest low 248

Posted on May 09, 2018 by

We must admit, we didn’t think this would be beaten so soon.

But there you go. Just goes to show you how little we know about the sick, despicable, sewer-dredging shitfestival that is the Scottish media, and how badly even we’ve been overestimating their humanity all these years.

“Scandal”.

It says “scandal”.

To hell with every last one of these worthless sacks of parasitic filth. And their horses.

Where the friendship is 310

Posted on May 08, 2018 by

Alert and intrepid reader Dougie Grant gets among Her Majesty’s most loyal subjects.

(Alternative title: “A Journey Towards Unity”.)

The same difference 182

Posted on May 08, 2018 by

This one won’t take long. This is the front page lead on today’s Herald:

It’s a trope beloved of Unionists (and was a particular favourite of the paper’s departed columnist David Torrance) – how dare Scotland imagine that it’s special? – and the Herald bangs the drum extra-hard this morning, with Anas Sarwar given lots of room to talk Scotland down while insisting that he’s not talking Scotland down, claiming that the idea of Scotland being “less intolerant than our neighbours” is a myth.

So let’s just check the facts.

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    • Captain Caveman on Seven Days Too Long: “@Lorncal “We cannot rely on any of the parties to support women’s rights when push comes to shove and they…May 6, 17:24
    • Sven on The value bet: “Tent collapsed eh, well, that’s poles for you.May 6, 17:15
    • Mark Beggan on The value bet: “‘I took a poll recently and 100% of campers were very angry when their tent collapsed’!May 6, 17:09
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    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Binfire Of The Vanities: “REPORT: ‘SCHOOLS STILL HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY GENDER IDEOLOGY’ (England & Wales) Child safety and wellbeing continues to be compromised in…May 6, 12:15
    • Lorncal on Anas Sarwar is a winner: “Anas Sarwar is an empty vessel, like so many of the candidates standing for the all the parties. The problem…May 6, 12:05
    • Socrates MacSporran on Anas Sarwar is a winner: “I don’t see a by-line, other than Anas Sarwar on that Record pish, but, it definitely reads like they’ve let…May 6, 11:48
    • Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Have you ever heard or followed Eva Comrie? In a handbags at dawn showdown with the TRA, my money would…May 6, 11:44
    • Iain More on Anas Sarwar is a winner: “Anus the Butcher ad betrayer of Grangemouth squeals. No surprise that the Daily Redcoat would support the Quisling Liebore Party…May 6, 11:44
    • One more day of nonsense left on Anas Sarwar is a winner: “Swiney rocked up at Cappielow early in this snorefest campaign , alongside nuSnp fanboy Compston. They had a wee photo…May 6, 11:42
    • @nairnkev on Anas Sarwar is a winner: “Scotland needs dentists more than it needs anus sarwar as an msp let alone first minister, the sod should change…May 6, 11:38
    • Den on Anas Sarwar is a winner: “Added to your testimony I’d like to add he is a bare faced liar, who lost all credibility in his…May 6, 11:35
    • KOF on Binfire Of The Vanities: “By wilful cooperation, or just plain ignorance, all those who serve political parties serve the plans of Satan. It does…May 6, 11:31
    • Rev. Stuart Campbell on Anas Sarwar is a winner: “In percentage terms, definitely the latter.May 6, 11:27
    • James on Anas Sarwar is a winner: “Do they buy it in Oldham do you think?May 6, 10:47
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