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Archive for the ‘wtf’


FOR COMMON SENSE 279

Posted on May 13, 2014 by

Because some of you won’t have seen it yet. This is NOT a spoof.

jean

That’s what they think will persuade people to vote No, readers.

Two percentage points 118

Posted on May 12, 2014 by

Surely. At least.

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A catastrophe for Africa 368

Posted on April 25, 2014 by

This clip comes from yesterday’s “Good Morning Scotland”, around 2h 35m in.

soundwave2

It features Professor Paul Collier, who is apparently the Director of the Centre for the Study of African Economies at Oxford University and therefore an obvious choice for the BBC as a go-to guy on the subject of Scottish politics.

We think you’ll find it a stimulating and thought-provoking opinion.

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Keep watching the skies 196

Posted on April 16, 2014 by

Remember, readers, how last year “Better Together” tried to ridicule the fact that we’d put a satirical line about “space monsters” into one of the questions in our first Panelbase poll? Remember how it was the most absurd, stupid thing imaginable?

spacethreat

That was the UK Secretary of State for Defence, yesterday.

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A genuine mystery 159

Posted on April 16, 2014 by

We honestly don’t understand how anyone with electricity in their house or a newsagent anywhere within a 30-mile radius can possibly come to say things like this:

“[Independence] is a view not shared by IT teacher Elaine Coates, originally from Glasgow but now in Tettenhall. The mother of three has lived in England for 30 years but has no strong views on independence.

‘I just don’t see how it will work, I think Scotland would be crazy to do this,’ she says. ‘It doesn’t have any oil so how is it going to get its income? Whisky and tourism, probably, but that’s it.'”

Firstly, Elaine, we’d have to say that “it would be crazy” DOES actually sound like quite a strong view on independence to us. But in all seriousness, leaving all snark and sarcasm aside, how on Earth does a human being living in the UK in 2014, seemingly not inside any sort of secure institution, come to believe something like that?

Ms Coates isn’t some lone madwoman. Other people, also not resident in mental hospitals, say the same thing. And we get that lots of people aren’t into politics. But when it comes to ignorance about your own nation, being unaware that Scotland has oil is somewhere on a par with not knowing that Great Britain is an island. How in the world do you go through decades of adult life without ever picking up on that fact?

It’s not a rhetorical question. Can someone actually explain it to us?

No jocks please, we’re British 222

Posted on April 13, 2014 by

One of the great things about this site’s sky-high viewing figures is that on the rare occasions when we might be, for example, out having a walk in the park to get over the crushing disappointment of somehow losing yet another Scottish Cup semi-final, our ever-vigilant readers will remain alert.

Otherwise, we might have missed this.

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Neither national nor collective 114

Posted on April 10, 2014 by

It’s late, but we couldn’t let this one pass.

nhstogether

Heavens, where do we start?

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Mork calling Orson, come in Orson 118

Posted on April 04, 2014 by

Our email inbox this week has been packed with people sending in their Labour MP’s or MSP’s responses to our questions about the party’s proposals for the devolution of taxation (aka “Devo Nano”) in the event of a No vote.

morkmindy

With the exception of the very first reply – an arrogant, rude, dismissive effort from Tom Harris – until this evening all of them have been the exact same text except for minor variations in the introductory sentences, with some members choosing to insert little digs at this site but others being more polite to their constituents.

But tonight everything changed.

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The Devo Nano Policy Explosion 469

Posted on March 28, 2014 by

We’ve had a second response from a Labour elected representative to a reader, regarding our six simple factual questions about the party’s “Devo Nano” proposals for the Scottish Parliament. This one’s from Richard Baker, regional MSP for North East Scotland and Labour’s former Shadow Finance Secretary.

richardbaker

We were extremely surprised by its contents. You can read the reply, stripped only of two paragraphs of introductory waffle about Keir Hardie, below.

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Plot still thickening 215

Posted on March 26, 2014 by

Sorry we’ve been a bit post-light today, readers. The phone’s barely stopped ringing, and when it did it was only for long enough to scratch the surface of an avalanche of tweets and emails, all concerning this week’s zany goings-on with the Glasgow Subway. Suffice it to say that you haven’t heard half of what’s transpired yet, but we hope to bring you the full story pretty soon.

stvwings

For now, for anyone who missed them, STV, BBC and the Guardian.

A new world record for stupid 92

Posted on March 14, 2014 by

Heavens above, readers. Immersing ourselves as we do in the tepid and murky waters of Scottish political journalism for a living – because it was either that or drowning kittens in a bucket and the hours for that are slightly unsociable – we sometimes imagine that we’ve become inured to even the most fatuously cretinous word-vomiting arse-quackery that passes for analysis in the supposedly intelligent press.

hamishmacdonell

And then we read something like the spectacularly, cosmically moronic mind-sewage Hamish Macdonell just strained and heaved onto the electro-pages of the Spectator this afternoon and realise that the abyss of idiocy has no end, or at the very least culminates in a black-hole singularity from which the light of reason can never escape.

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Nationalist of the week 109

Posted on March 07, 2014 by

From the Norwich Evening News, 4 March 2014:

‘It is ridiculous that independence for Scotland is even being given consideration at all.

Much blood was spilled over centuries to bring the home nations together.

It’s disrespectful to the honour of those that suffered to think that a cross on a ballot paper can undo that. National pride and patriotism is what being a Scot is all about, and there is not a nation in the world that has more of it than Scotland. We don’t need economic independence to prove it.’

Blair Ainslie is managing director of Great Yarmouth-based offshore firm Seajacks. He hails from Dunbar, East Lothian and moved south of the border in 1979.”

That one’s making our head spin.

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    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Mark Any idea if he’s built his first affordable house yet? I’m assuming that’s why he fucked off on holiday…Aug 22, 16:00
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    • Northcode on Before Action: “Scots criminal law attaches embezzlement to individuals, not organisations. This means that embezzlement is a personal crime. In short, embezzlement…Aug 22, 15:02
    • Northcode on Before Action: “I asked myself this question: What are the risks to individuals working for COPFS and Police Scotland who are found…Aug 22, 14:37
    • Young Lochinvar on Before Action: “HMcH Hopefully they have the sense to drink Highland Spring bottled water..Aug 22, 14:34
    • Alf Baird on Before Action: “” I follow the argumentthat the Lord Advocate and the Solicitor General are in the Scottish government and are subordinate…Aug 22, 14:21
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Come on Northy it’s Saturday. Take a chill pill. Peace and love to all mankind.Aug 22, 14:08
    • Iain Ross on Before Action: “The police assertion that no new evidence has come to light would suggest that they already knew that the SNP…Aug 22, 14:03
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    • gm on Before Action: “For years. Up until very recently I would not have believed it possible, Northcode. For a lad of your stripe…Aug 22, 12:48
    • gm on Before Action: “That makes sense to me. COPFS are blocking it not the police (The top Polis seems to be hiding btw).…Aug 22, 12:17
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    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Billy Bus Ticket is having a hard time as boss. He has aged incredibly in such a short time. By…Aug 22, 10:04
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “I still think my Time Machine plan is the only feasible way to solve this conundrum.Aug 22, 09:59
    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “So it’s open season on the 50% who aren’t women? Or is Burnham in the grip of the trannies, trying…Aug 22, 09:50
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Neither would I. As long as they don’t shit in parks.Aug 22, 09:47
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Andy Burnham s pamphlet; Don’t rape women. Don’t try to swim with your clothes on. Welcome to Britain!Aug 22, 09:37
    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Sorry, James, but I don’t think you and I share a common definition of “officially”. More generally, I think you…Aug 22, 09:31
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “They really get in the way of a good fantasy. With their bloody referendums and democratic processes. Stalin never had…Aug 22, 09:28
    • Aidan on Before Action: “How incredibly boringAug 22, 09:26
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    • James Che on Before Action: “Retaining the SNP in a pretendy Scottish parliament and a supposed treaty that was never concluded whilst not being adhered…Aug 22, 09:15
    • James Che on Before Action: “100% yes, Is there a link anywhere for everyone as this old techno I use is extremely basic. and maybe…Aug 22, 09:08
    • James Che on Before Action: “As you stated Hatey, to quote yourself, the 1707 treaty of union is old guff, and nobody pays attention to…Aug 22, 08:58
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “They are here because the cannot afford the same property in England. Purely selfish James. They are not here to…Aug 22, 08:54
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