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Archive for the ‘wtf’


All over the place 319

Posted on September 07, 2014 by

So, first this happened:

timesyes

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Ein Yolk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer 198

Posted on September 05, 2014 by

Because throwing an egg is EXACTLY HOW HITLER STARTED.

einyolk

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The ultimate Britishness fail 355

Posted on August 19, 2014 by

The Times of London (to give it its full title) has been the newspaper of record for the British establishment for 226 years. It was practically the only facet of British life that survived in the dystopian future of George Orwell’s “1984”. Even though it’s now owned by an Australian/American, the brand remains one of the most recognised and iconic symbols of Her Majesty’s United Kingdom, revered across the globe.

(It even created the “Times Roman” font which is the default standard typeface of the English-speaking world, and which these words you’re reading now are displayed in.)

natoqueue

Which means there’s absolutely no excuse for this sort of cobblers.

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New frontiers in lying 140

Posted on August 07, 2014 by

Alert readers will be aware that even in a campaign characterised by dishonesty, the ever-smirking Labour MSP Jackie Baillie has carved a reputation for especially notable creativity with the truth. With our hands on our hearts, we don’t think we’ve ever heard her say anything that wasn’t a lie. However, on last night’s The World Tonight on BBC Radio 4, we believe she reached a spectacular personal best. Have a listen.

soundwave2

If you can’t quite believe your ears, we’ll transcribe that for you.

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Nick Clegg signs a pledge 265

Posted on August 05, 2014 by

So everyone will believe THAT’s definitely going to happen, then.

pledge

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Missing: one plot 140

Posted on July 31, 2014 by

We can only assume the No campaign and media are in a growing panic about the imminent TV showdown between Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling or something. Even by the high previous standards of insanity from the UK side of the referendum debate, this week has seen something of a disintegration in sanity.

Apart from the usual flood of mad scare stories, we’ve had papers like the Scotsman, Daily Record and Press & Journal promoting a ludicrous poll of a couple of hundred hand-picked expats. We’ve had the Guardian’s Martin Kettle competing with the Mail’s Simon Heffer for the most embarrassingly moronic vision of a post-independence future yet committed to print. (This time, a Yes vote sparks a new civil war in Ireland.)

And then there’s this:

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Commonwealth Games begin 355

Posted on July 23, 2014 by

Scotland enjoys the opening ceremony.

orange

The BBC, home of the facts 387

Posted on July 23, 2014 by

There’s an article on the BBC website today with the self-explanatory title of “Scottish independence: How would the UK fare without Scotland?”

bbcfacts

On the left is what it said yesterday (that losing Scotland would be bad for the UK). On the right is what it says today (that losing Scotland would be good for the UK).

Does anyone know what calamity befell Scotland’s economy overnight?

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Return of the living dead 207

Posted on July 20, 2014 by

For independence supporters of a certain age, the 1979 devolution referendum is one of the most infamous moments in Scottish history. While a wafer-thin majority of Scots voted Yes to devolution, an electoral fiddle conceived by a Labour MP meant that it didn’t happen, and part of the reason was that in effect, dead people were counted as No votes.

(We won’t go into all the details here, but basically an impossible threshold was set for turnout, and people who’d died but hadn’t yet been removed from the electoral roll were counted towards the calculation of that threshold.)

We were put in mind of it by an odd development this evening.

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The guest editor 146

Posted on July 12, 2014 by

We assume Danny Alexander has been writing for the Record this morning.

record3bn

We still haven’t been issued with our special UK Goverment Scottish Independence Costs Calculator by the Treasury, but we nevertheless still feel fairly confident that £550 million minus £250 million is £300 million, not £3 billion.

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This could be a record 259

Posted on July 05, 2014 by

There was an article on independence in the Huffington Post yesterday, which we’ve only just seen. Penned by one Dr Nicholas M Almond, a “cognitive neuropsychologist and author” who also has cerebral palsy – a physically debilitating condition but one which doesn’t affect mental capacity in any way – we think it may, word for word, be the most spectacularly ill-informed and offensively moronic article on the subject of Scotland ever to appear in a recognised and vaguely respectable publication.

howlmoon

For fun, we thought we’d count the errors.

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Twitching corpse stamped on 287

Posted on June 13, 2014 by

Daily Mail columnist Jan Moir has a piece today on the nasty comments a tiny handful of idiots made to JK Rowling this week, which – unlike the alleged “barrage” of abuse supposedly unleashed against Labour activist Clare Lally – can at least definitely be said to have happened.

janmoir

The piece is a tedious one-sided rant, but at the end something awesome happens.

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    • Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: ““..dismantle a political and economic union that he claims doesn’t exist” The problem surely lies with those such as yersel…” Oct 25, 22:36
    • sarah on Faces In Sand: “Dan, thanks for the info on trees. I brought the chestnut tree up from Kent as a sprout 25 years…” Oct 25, 21:56
    • Lorncal on Faces In Sand: “I absolutely agree, Northcode, that we need to make a powerful case for independence across the board, but, after an…” Oct 25, 20:52
    • Dan on Faces In Sand: “@ Sarah They are not my Hazel or Sweet Chestnut trees. They are just planted locally along a roadside. I’m…” Oct 25, 20:31
    • sam on Faces In Sand: “That there was colonialism of Northern Ireland was an idea widely considered by many groups and individuals during what is…” Oct 25, 20:12
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Wheesht, Xaracen! Dinna tell the Picts we Scots stole most of the country from. Got to say, it does seem…” Oct 25, 19:44
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “My benchmark 30 seconds of internet research reveals the budget of BBC Scotland TV to be £42 million PA. The…” Oct 25, 19:36
    • Insider on Faces In Sand: “sarah @7:13 This is solely due to the vicious, heartless colonialism that we Scots suffer under. But never fear…in Alf’s…” Oct 25, 19:33
    • Xaracen on Faces In Sand: ““Ex Injuria Jus Non Oritur” -Illegitimacy cannot create legitimacy. A wrongful act cannot become a lawful one through time alone.…” Oct 25, 19:21
    • sarah on Faces In Sand: “Dan, how come your hazel nuts actually contain nuts? I gathered some off the ground a few days ago and…” Oct 25, 19:13
    • Dan on Faces In Sand: “Link to Barrheadboy article (and comments) posted today which shines some light on influencing aspects that are factors in shaping…” Oct 25, 18:32
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Maybe 1606 and 1707 are times, not dates? Then it makes sense.” Oct 25, 18:27
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Mental impairment is a badge of honour these days. It brings loads of societal advantages too, not to mention free…” Oct 25, 18:23
    • Captain Caveman on Faces In Sand: “Well, this “sassenach yoon” cage is indeed freely rattling, I will readily concede. Rattling with wry, incredulous laughter. 😀” Oct 25, 18:22
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Quite difficult to see how any sane, rational person can be opposed to rewilding per se. So I guess Confused’s…” Oct 25, 18:00
    • Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “You do know all the estates up here are owned either by Arabs (their 737s arrive at Inverness regularly, one…” Oct 25, 17:49
    • Dan on Faces In Sand: “Not stuck indoors for me today. Yesterday was mostly indoors though sitting out the gales and rain after spending the…” Oct 25, 17:45
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “““authoritarian logic” as you call it by implication emanates from oppressive state entities and its mouthpieces (i.e. you Northcode), not…” Oct 25, 17:44
    • Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “I see I’m not the only one who raised an eyebrow at The Nutty Professor’s bizarre posts above. Well said…” Oct 25, 17:44
    • sam on Faces In Sand: “Northcode says of Alf Baird: He then implies that Scots who disagree with his “Scotland is colonised” argument are mentally…” Oct 25, 17:26
    • Dan on Faces In Sand: “So Northcode, were does the likes of Plato and his Allegory of the Cave fit in with your junk and…” Oct 25, 17:24
    • Confused on Faces In Sand: “this weather, eh? – thank god for the aga, warms the whole house, cooks your dinner and dries out your…” Oct 25, 16:38
    • Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “On the contrary, “authoritarian logic” as you call it by implication emanates from oppressive state entities and its mouthpieces (i.e.…” Oct 25, 16:11
    • sarah on Faces In Sand: “Since we’re all stuck indoors, there’s some crowdfunders to donate to, and youtube from SSRG conference to listen to. 1.…” Oct 25, 14:46
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““This isn’t metaphor – it’s literal pathologisation” Good post, Northy. Alf’s attitude is straight out of the Bolshevik handbook as…” Oct 25, 14:43
    • Northcode on Faces In Sand: “Alf Baird is claiming exclusive access to “reality”. He writes: “The unveiled reality enabling the colonized mind to recover…” This…” Oct 25, 14:17
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““Scotland requires authentic statesmen more than parish pump politicians” You say that, TURABDIN, yet the decades come and the decades…” Oct 25, 14:14
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““It’s the sheer indefatigability and lack of self-awareness that shocks you” It’s of fascinating academic interest, certainly. I’m of the…” Oct 25, 14:01
    • TURABDIN on Faces In Sand: “MODERN COLONIALISM IN ACTION https://venezuelanalysis.com/opinion/venezuela-from-revolution-to-recolonization/ USA, the country that supported Saddam Hussein in a proxy war against its neighbour then…” Oct 25, 13:51
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““reminds me of the evil Nanny from the Omen with that glaikit satanic glare she has” Ah, the wondrous wittering…” Oct 25, 13:39
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