In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
TURABDIN on Push The Button: “THESE NATIONAL(IST) PARTIES seem not too keen on their respective country’s independence. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cq59xvdzjv7o A woeful act by tired old hasbeens….kindly…” Apr 26, 09:02
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: ““Socialism wants (insists) you vote blue and like it.” Very true – and invariably with lousy, sub-optimal, unsustainable results.” Apr 26, 08:54
wally jumblatt on Push The Button: “Socialism in a nutshell. Throw yourself at the mercy of the collective or sort your own world out. If you…” Apr 26, 07:45
Angus on Push The Button: ““Rationally, there is no reason for anyone to press the blue button. If you press red, you definitely live no…” Apr 26, 00:35
Phil on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Interesting take on history Alf Baird and highly amusing fantasy figure. Believe that nonsense if it keeps you warm at…” Apr 26, 00:04
Jennifer Livingston on Push The Button: “All of these questions were asked to google AI: Asking how many people can be cared for on earth at…” Apr 25, 22:45
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Push The Button: “It seems appropriate enough here to reprise the following which I posted a while back. I originally came across it…” Apr 25, 21:51
Jamie on Push The Button: “The question is only really interesting as a political metaphor for example, the arguments for and against taxation. Taxation funds…” Apr 25, 20:41
Alf Baird on The Narcissism Of No Differences: ““I think the Union is a great thing” Scotland was annexed in 1707, there never was any ‘union’, and continued…” Apr 25, 19:53
Insider on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “James says: 25 April, 2026 at 1:38 pm Name those benefits. Go on. Enlighten us. Well you’re the expert on…” Apr 25, 19:00
Confused on Push The Button: “WTF is this “Prisoners Dilemma” for the r3t4rded? do we need to draw the payoff matrix? You could do that…” Apr 25, 17:56
Mark Beggan on Push The Button: “This is another example of Colonial suppression of the mass body. A clear indication of the manipulation of colour against…” Apr 25, 16:44
GM on Push The Button: “Aye. Well, I suppose I could bring in as man of my own conditions as I like and take a…” Apr 25, 15:59
Effijy on Push The Button: “With food, energy, housing all short of supply governments will find a way to reduce the population. It already has…” Apr 25, 15:54
Blackhack on Push The Button: ““There is no spoon”” Apr 25, 15:02
Dan on Push The Button: “All a bit too binary and simplistic, but that is seemingly the new standard with the all to prevalent internet…” Apr 25, 14:56
David on Push The Button: “Keza Dugale cannot even push a button .” Apr 25, 14:45
Mark Beggan on Push The Button: “The buttons should be black or white.” Apr 25, 14:40
Phil on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Certainly! OK, off the top of my head… Significant transfers every year (the rUK supports Scotland financially to the tune…” Apr 25, 14:39
Northcode on Push The Button: ““…there’s no cost to pressing red.” God might take a different view… His intelligence being infinite, and His logic somewhat…” Apr 25, 14:39
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Push The Button: ““accepting that everyone staying alive is a good thing without question” Why would you accept that?” Apr 25, 14:23
Andy Wiltshire on Push The Button: “Is it August?” Apr 25, 14:18
GM on Push The Button: “I am more interested in the motivation here. The fact there is a condition set on the blue button, 50%,…” Apr 25, 14:09
Northcode on How To Get Away With Crimes: ““…it is not ‘normal’ for ‘a people’ to ‘crave dependence’ on another supposedly ‘superior’ culture…” There can be no rational…” Apr 25, 13:40
Alf Baird on How To Get Away With Crimes: ““Under UK law criminal activity, including threats against individuals or groups, motivated by ideology is terrorism.” Indeed, and British identity…” Apr 25, 13:17
LondonScot on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Under UK law criminal activity, including threats against individuals or groups, motivated by ideology is terrorism. Perhaps a report to…” Apr 25, 10:37
Alf Baird on How To Get Away With Crimes: ““it thinks like a nutter” Indeed, which explains why the colonial mindset is considered ‘a disease of the mind’ (Memmi).…” Apr 25, 10:35
