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The news we’ve all been waiting for 247

Posted on November 22, 2016 by

Namely, that of a 100%-certain victory in indyref 2:

mcternanpredicts18

We might take the rest of the day off to celebrate.

Wait, what did we miss? 108

Posted on November 13, 2016 by

You did WHAT in May now?

sldwon

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For the record 221

Posted on November 11, 2016 by

Because, astonishing as it might seem in the circumstances, Ruth Davidson actually genuinely tried to get away with this at First Minister’s Questions yesterday:

davidsonchina

They really do think we won’t remember, readers.

(Source 1, Source 2)

Spotting the differences 263

Posted on November 10, 2016 by

This week, in Snide Troll News, this happened:

torrancefraser

We expect nothing but idiocy of Fraser. But Mr Torrance, who is a ubiquitous presence in the Scottish media, appears – by no means for the first time – not to have the facts at his fingertips. So let’s see if we can help him out.

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The stupidest thing ever said 109

Posted on October 25, 2016 by

We realise that there’s some stiff competition for that accolade, even if you restrict it solely to things said by Kezia Dugdale, but this needs preserving for posterity.

povertyindependence

A couple of questions do spring immediately to mind: (1) how does every country on Earth that isn’t Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland do it, and (2) given that Scotland has now been in the Union for 309 years, how much longer is it going to take before the two things are finally eradicated?

We look forward to hearing the answers from Labour any day now.

The Count 274

Posted on October 19, 2016 by

An article by Nick Cohen in the Spectator last night fairly had social media ablaze with a heady brew of anger and mockery.

nickcohenisabawbag

It’s the most extraordinary outpouring of deranged, spittle-flecked arsewash we’ve seen outside of a Daily Express comment thread in a very considerable time, and it merits attention solely because we think it might have broken a world record for the number of empirical falsehoods contained in an article in a respectable media outlet.

Get your clickers out, readers. You’re going to need a fast trigger finger.

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Galaxy-class stupid 135

Posted on October 11, 2016 by

It’s Siobhan again, readers.

secretlist

Ever since Scottish Daily Mail political editor Alan Roden jumped ship to go and rearrange the deckchairs for Labour, his former paper has very noticeably toned down its hysterical “SNP BAD” content. We can go through the Mail for days on end now without finding some ludicrously distorted misrepresentation or screaming outrage piece about how a Nat MP found 20p down the back of their sofa without declaring it to HMRC or such.

Happily, as we’ve been noting recently, the Daily Express has leapt into the breach.

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Why Scottish Labour will never recover 345

Posted on October 06, 2016 by

Because the party is still stuffed with braindead cockroaches like this:

gallagher

People of North Ayrshire, you’ve got a real prize there. Well done you.

The next Scottish council elections are in May next year.

Just your imagination 396

Posted on September 28, 2016 by

From a ridiculous piece by Hadley Freeman in today’s Guardian:

freeman

Actually, we’re pretty sure it isn’t and we can.

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The soggy deckchairs 214

Posted on September 21, 2016 by

With the greatest of reluctance, and only in the absence of anything even remotely more interesting, then, let’s have a few words on Scottish Labour’s latest solemn and sincere declaration of its full, total, complete and utter autonomy.

telegraphauto

Because while the media is reporting the development that UK Labour has decided to extend a few extra inches of lead to Kezia Dugdale’s branch office as if it had the slightest importance to anything, it seems oddly reluctant to ask the obvious question.

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Selective listening 477

Posted on September 04, 2016 by

Eternally angry Conservative MSP Adam Tomkins has been even shoutier than usual this week, purple-faced with rage about the fact that the SNP has decided to spend some of its own money (not taxpayer cash) asking people for their opinions.

angrytomkins

It’s a curious argument from a member of a party that’s been rejected in successive elections in Scotland in 1964, 1966, 1970, 1974, 1974 again, 1979, 1983, 1987, 1992, 1997, 1999, 2001, 2003, 2005, 2007, 2010, 2011, 2015 and 2016, but keeps turning up and barking orders anyway. You’d think the first 50 years might qualify as a hint.

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A lack of selfie-awareness 310

Posted on August 28, 2016 by

The Scottish Mail On Sunday felt obliged this weekend to devote newsprint in what’s technically an actual newspaper to a piece of snark that might just be a new all-time low in the highly competitive barrel-scraping field of “SNP BAD”:

mailselfies

Half a page was given up to a bunch of sour complaints that the First Minister had built in FIVE MINUTES on her itinerary on a school visit (aimed at encouraging girls to take up traditionally male careers) for people to get selfies with her.

Stand by, folks. It actually gets worse.

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