Last week we revealed that English voters would happily see Scotland and Northern Ireland leave the UK if it was the price of securing Brexit. But one of the odder things was that those figures included a sizeable number of Remain voters, who don’t want Brexit to happen at all.
We were a little perplexed, so we did a follow-up question asking those people if they’d elaborate a bit and got some interesting replies. One person, for example, answered “The Scottish people are very arrogant and although they want to be separate from the rest of the UK they are happy to take money from England”. Charming.
But there was also another stream of opinion on the subject, and it was revealed in the responses to another question in the original poll.
So everyone’s fighting about Gaelic again. Provoked by a minor story about a Gaelic dictionary MSM and alt-media pundits are flying at each other with daggers over a language spoken by almost nobody on Earth and on which the government spends a few measly and irrelevant pennies, trying to turn it into a proxy war over politics and the constitution and fascism and genocide and goodness knows what else.
We’ve covered the political nonsense around the issue numerous times on this site, and we’re not about to do so again here. This, as befits the Soapbox section, is a purely personal view, which will doubtless attract more furious shrieking from the sort of people who long ago lost the ability to listen to a counterpoint – or indeed tolerate the mere concept of one – let alone consider it or debate it without abuse.
But hey ho. After a while you just learn to tune that stuff out, so let’s go.
We could all do with some cheering up at the moment, so it’s with great pleasure that we can announce fantastic news for Scotland – the ancient plague of sectarianism has finally been defeated once and for all!
At least, we assume it MUST have been, because this week the Scottish Parliament is set to give its final assent – thanks to Labour, the Tories, the Liberal Democrats and the all-important Scottish Greens – to abolishing the Offensive Behaviour (Football) Act, against the wishes of the overwhelming majority of the Scottish population.
And as we can plainly observe from events yesterday, they would only be doing that if sectarianism was no longer a problem and it was safe to send out an encouraging message to the bigots that their worldview is now acceptable in Scotland again.
We’re a bit annoyed about this, because we were going to give the Absolute Fanny Of The Week award to Anas Sarwar every week as a joke, but now it seems we can’t.
So that’s a professional journalist who’s studied the Offensive Behaviour (Football) Act, or OBFA, so intently and diligently that he keeps calling it “OBAF” instead. But that’s not the stupidest of it.
Captain Caveman on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Stinking of piss eh? Hardly. Louis Vuitton Imagination, actually. 🙂 Still, that’ll be you projecting again – probably literally. Hapless…” Aug 20, 16:40
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Not when I’m self-identifying. Which is, after all, my right as a Sovereign Scot.” Aug 20, 16:36
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Man! Independence is so close I can taste it! Any. Day. Now. Beats me how any cant could be bothered…” Aug 20, 16:33
sarah on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Rev, is there any news on Mark Hirst’s fundraiser? He was only needing £5000 so I hope that was quickly…” Aug 20, 16:21
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “speak for yourself; fair play if a man of your age can still raise the sail and you do stink…” Aug 20, 16:10
Captain Caveman on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Oh do shut up, you utter twat. Get back to sniffing the solvents and your “WFH”. (We all know what…” Aug 20, 16:00
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““prevented the teaching of Gaelic with punitive steps” “This repression of Gaelic culture suggests a colonial mindset” You don’t say!…” Aug 20, 15:45
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “3 emojis – so you did enlist the 5 year old after all tell her to be a good girl…” Aug 20, 15:42
Mark Beggan on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “It is essential that the candidate believes in non-binary fairies, and that stealing is just another word for appropriation, They…” Aug 20, 15:41
Insider on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Indeed, Young Lochinvar! I asked Mr Google a few weeks ago what the current circulation of “The National” is. It…” Aug 20, 15:32
agentx on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““20th August 2026 Precautionary movement restrictions have been put in place after a case of Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE), commonly…” Aug 20, 15:31
sam on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Aidan, To get a comprehensive answer you would really need to read all of the man posts the former Treasury…” Aug 20, 15:29
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““One Kingdom by the Name of Great Britain” Amazing! A kingdom must, of course, have a king. And we have.…” Aug 20, 15:26
Captain Caveman on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Yeah of course you do, and of course you are pal. That deserves THREE emojis, here you go! 😀 :D…” Aug 20, 15:24
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “You forgot “Taking bribes from MI5 to censor discussion of Scotland’s colonial status”. That’s assuming the successful applicant won’t have…” Aug 20, 15:18
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Fa’s James aboot the day? We need his contribution tae improve the quality o’ BTL debate. Ah cannae dae it…” Aug 20, 15:12
factchecker on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “NC says “However, it could be argued, colonialism set aside, that Scotland is a founding partner – equal in standing…” Aug 20, 15:12
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “caveman – you just posted an emoji (as did main) – 2 of them, since neither of you are 12…” Aug 20, 15:12
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “english bluetongue has appeared in Scotland – been on the BTL for a long time; and the mad cow disease…” Aug 20, 15:07
Young Lochinvar on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““Fast growing pool of subscribers” Hmmm. Figures to support that claim? I see their printed output doesn’t even merit a…” Aug 20, 15:04
Captain Caveman on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““start on the personal abuse then BOO HOO when you can’t take it back” Oh yeah, I’m crying a fucking…” Aug 20, 14:59
Aidan on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Doesn’t advertise a salary, likely because there isn’t one or at least not one that anyone could survive on. Requirements…” Aug 20, 14:56
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Beggar Boy – if the main-caveman axis represents 2 prime arse cheeks, then you are a mere pustule on them…” Aug 20, 14:46
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Wheesht, Mark! He has hairline fractures in every finger of his mouse hand.” Aug 20, 14:45
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “aw main, you and your flower-pot-man buddy start on the personal abuse then BOO HOO when you can’t take it…” Aug 20, 14:43
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““two distinct and incompatible kingdoms, and their different peoples” Of course, you meant to write “two kingdoms and peoples with…” Aug 20, 14:38
agentx on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““How to apply to become a journalist for The National Exciting opportunity here: A very rare chance has emerged to…” Aug 20, 14:38
Mark Beggan on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “That comment deserves funding from the Jason Arday memorial foundation. Have you considered a professorship?” Aug 20, 14:30