The last faint hope of any remotely positive or at least interesting outcome of May’s election just left the building.
It wasn’t MUCH of a hope, and it’s absolutely no surprise in the wake of the comically shambolic, belief-defyingly inept farce that has been the birth of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s fringe-of-the fringe party, but all the same its extinguishing means the next two months will be even more of a waste of time than they looked like being.
Frankly, readers, we may as well not bother having an election at all.
The number of parties who got MSPs elected at the last election is… five. (Though in fairness there are now six, Reform having a single MSP after Graham Simpson defected from the Tories. The Lib Dems are even outnumbered by independents, of whom there are seven.)
There is a not particularly funny joke that is sometimes told in legal circles about why a law student failed to finish his coursework – because he had no conviction. With rare exceptions lawyers aren’t renowned for their sense of humour but I can’t help thinking someone, at the highest levels of our justice system, is having a right laugh at my expense and those who have loyally supported me over the past six years.
I’m talking about the Lord Advocate, Dorothy Bain KC – a sitting member of the Scottish Government’s cabinet who was nominated by Nicola Sturgeon to that post in 2021, five months after I was acquitted.
For those unfamiliar with my case, I offer this brief summary. In March 2020 I made a short video on my mobile phone that was two minutes and thirty eight seconds in length. I hadn’t planned to make the video when I went out for a walk in a field near my home. But I was annoyed and wanted to articulate that annoyance, although at the time I recorded it I wasn’t intending for it to go much further.
Later that night, just before turning in, I uploaded it to my YouTube channel on a closed, unlisted link and then posted that link to my Twitter account that, at the time, had a modest 1000 or so followers. I then forgot about it.
Little did I know that short mobile phone video would result in me facing initially a criminal trial, then a five year legal battle in the highest civil court in Scotland and now, most likely, an appeal to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.
So on the one hand there’s obviously very little point paying attention to the SNP’s regional list candidates for May’s Holyrood election, because as this website has comprehensively demonstrated over recent months, the chances of the SNP having any list MSPs elected are remote.
However, nothing is impossible, so let’s take a look at the B team, which also serves as a guide to the party’s upcoming talent taking its first steps towards the gravy bus.
This clip was broadcast on ITV News Wales this week.
It’s a staggeringly obvious mess for a whole raft of reasons – a number of completely spurious, illogical and unsupported claims are accepted as facts without any sort of challenge or balancing voice (which has been standard practice on ITV News for a while now across almost any contentious political topic) – but it led us to somewhere magnitudes of crazier still.
It’s almost – almost – worth voting SNP in May because of this:
Because it would be at least momentarily absolutely hilarious watching Swinney try to explain why his “100% guaranteed” second indyref didn’t happen if the SNP actually did get a majority on 30% of the vote (which is narrowly feasible on current polling).
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““He pays no tax on his Scottish estate” It’s always intriguing to consider the mindset of those who believe that…” Aug 11, 12:26
Willie on The Party Of The Dead: “Ah Hatey, you raise a point. Number 10 North. The relocation of Nr 10 function to Manchester. Its a strange…” Aug 11, 10:41
Chas on The Party Of The Dead: “‘Case in point in the Carse of Gowrie at the moment. 2000 acres of prime farmland (next to the biggest…” Aug 11, 10:31
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: ““According to Andy Wightman” Explains a lot.” Aug 11, 10:26
sam on The Party Of The Dead: “Large estates in Scotland historically have not been good for the Scottish people on them. According to Andy Wightman “83%…” Aug 11, 10:20
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Now you’re just boasting about the better class of rammie you enjoy in your hoose. We’re traditionalists. “Ach, shite!” delivered…” Aug 11, 10:19
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Sam seems to be telling us “there are some land owners who aren’t 100% perfect” in 30,000 (cut and pasted)…” Aug 11, 10:02
Minceheid on The Party Of The Dead: “Hatey McHateface says: 11 August, 2026 at 8:13 am Short and to the point, MH. But couldn’t you have phrased…” Aug 11, 10:01
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Hero to Zero in 3 weeks: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/aug/10/andy-burnham-national-listening-tour Got to hand it to the Guardian. It must have taken a little…” Aug 11, 09:53
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “From Robin McAlpine’s latest: “independence is our ‘product’ and the current available specifications of our product are rubbish, filled with…” Aug 11, 09:34
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “If everybody competes in a letter box, then what’s the problem? Demographics tells us that’s what will happen eventually. So…” Aug 11, 08:54
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “An interesting thread. I await with interest sam linking to a study proving that immigrant ethnic minorities are greatly under-represented…” Aug 11, 08:45
Dan on The Party Of The Dead: ““Highly lucrative sports”? Is that the old huge economic boost created by shooting line being floated per chance. https://www.commonweal.scot/articles/the-goriest-twelfth https://revive.scot/think-tank-claims-government-report-on-driven-grouse-shooting-shows-the-bloodsport-is-economically-unviable/” Aug 11, 08:44
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Aw, c’moan noo, diabloandco. Wasn’t the CG ruined fir mony by those boys strutting aboot in kilts an tartan an…” Aug 11, 08:30
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “If there’s one area of expertise in which Dan is King, it’s the making of soup. Only fair we also…” Aug 11, 08:19
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Short and to the point, MH. But couldn’t you have phrased it in Scots? For the True Sovereign Scots reading…” Aug 11, 08:13
Aidan on The Party Of The Dead: ““Local government is also heavily influenced by large landowners in the area, seen as major sources of income and employment”…” Aug 11, 07:53
Oneliner on The Party Of The Dead: “There is no common wealth. It’s in either London or The Cayman Islands. Why promote the myth?” Aug 11, 06:51
sam on The Party Of The Dead: “https://www.thelandmagazine.org.uk/articles/who-owns-land-matters “Who Owns The Land Matters The Scottish Land Commission has found through extensive research that having a system dominated…” Aug 11, 06:46
sam on The Party Of The Dead: “https://www.thelandmagazine.org.uk/articles/who-owns-land-matters “Much environmental work on such land is then paid for by the government, land rights campaigner Peter Peacock points…” Aug 11, 06:38
sam on The Party Of The Dead: “https://www.thelandmagazine.org.uk/articles/who-owns-land-matters “Interviews from back in 2021 with enthusiastic representatives of Savills and Knight Frank show what is going on: We…” Aug 11, 06:31
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Anniversary today of the 1460 crowning of James III in Kelso Abbey. Not regarded as the best monarch he however…” Aug 10, 23:28
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Dan I agree we should be doing everything towards reaching zero reliance on importing agricultural production from elsewhere except where…” Aug 10, 22:33
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “AX Don’t watch it myself but the argument could be made for such camera angles to see which female athletes…” Aug 10, 21:59
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “HMcH Fash not so Hatey! A bit of a civil servant sore point over-reaction from you there. 🙂 I don’t…” Aug 10, 21:53
Dan on The Party Of The Dead: “Chas there, showing what a pathetic twat he is in trying to get one over on somebody, and responding to…” Aug 10, 21:46
agentx on The Party Of The Dead: ““New guidelines for broadcasters on using more respectful camera angles when covering live athletics events have been implemented for the…” Aug 10, 21:24
Chas on The Party Of The Dead: “I never realised that the Carse of Gowrie was right next to the river Severn Dan. Everyday is a schoolday…” Aug 10, 21:04
diabloandco on The Party Of The Dead: “And it was very bitty , though I acknowledge they tried.” Aug 10, 20:50
