If events in Edinburgh today are anything to go by – when a march and rally announced with great fanfare seven months ago, backed by both the “independence” parties in the Scottish Parliament and featuring the First Minister as main speaker, attracted perhaps 1,500 people at the most to Calton Hill on a bright and sunny day – the independence movement faces an imminent final apocalypse.
So here’s how to prepare yourself for when the SNP win a landslide with 35%, Keir Starmer says “So what?” and then a deathly silence descends for another five years.
Even Kelly Given and Iona Fyfe didn’t show up for this one. That’s how bad it is.
The last faint hope of any remotely positive or at least interesting outcome of May’s election just left the building.
It wasn’t MUCH of a hope, and it’s absolutely no surprise in the wake of the comically shambolic, belief-defyingly inept farce that has been the birth of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s fringe-of-the fringe party, but all the same its extinguishing means the next two months will be even more of a waste of time than they looked like being.
Frankly, readers, we may as well not bother having an election at all.
The number of parties who got MSPs elected at the last election is… five. (Though in fairness there are now six, Reform having a single MSP after Graham Simpson defected from the Tories. The Lib Dems are even outnumbered by independents, of whom there are seven.)
There is a not particularly funny joke that is sometimes told in legal circles about why a law student failed to finish his coursework – because he had no conviction. With rare exceptions lawyers aren’t renowned for their sense of humour but I can’t help thinking someone, at the highest levels of our justice system, is having a right laugh at my expense and those who have loyally supported me over the past six years.
I’m talking about the Lord Advocate, Dorothy Bain KC – a sitting member of the Scottish Government’s cabinet who was nominated by Nicola Sturgeon to that post in 2021, five months after I was acquitted.
For those unfamiliar with my case, I offer this brief summary. In March 2020 I made a short video on my mobile phone that was two minutes and thirty eight seconds in length. I hadn’t planned to make the video when I went out for a walk in a field near my home. But I was annoyed and wanted to articulate that annoyance, although at the time I recorded it I wasn’t intending for it to go much further.
Later that night, just before turning in, I uploaded it to my YouTube channel on a closed, unlisted link and then posted that link to my Twitter account that, at the time, had a modest 1000 or so followers. I then forgot about it.
Little did I know that short mobile phone video would result in me facing initially a criminal trial, then a five year legal battle in the highest civil court in Scotland and now, most likely, an appeal to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.
So on the one hand there’s obviously very little point paying attention to the SNP’s regional list candidates for May’s Holyrood election, because as this website has comprehensively demonstrated over recent months, the chances of the SNP having any list MSPs elected are remote.
However, nothing is impossible, so let’s take a look at the B team, which also serves as a guide to the party’s upcoming talent taking its first steps towards the gravy bus.
This clip was broadcast on ITV News Wales this week.
It’s a staggeringly obvious mess for a whole raft of reasons – a number of completely spurious, illogical and unsupported claims are accepted as facts without any sort of challenge or balancing voice (which has been standard practice on ITV News for a while now across almost any contentious political topic) – but it led us to somewhere magnitudes of crazier still.
It’s almost – almost – worth voting SNP in May because of this:
Because it would be at least momentarily absolutely hilarious watching Swinney try to explain why his “100% guaranteed” second indyref didn’t happen if the SNP actually did get a majority on 30% of the vote (which is narrowly feasible on current polling).
WhoRattledYourCage on Vibecoding A Better World: “Do Fairlight or Manic Miner, only without the fucking bugs in them that made them crash when you got near…” Oct 28, 23:39
Southernbystander on Faces In Sand: “I’m afraid the moon is merely made of cheddar so I think you might have been had.” Oct 28, 23:14
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: ““as part of that study did ask any shipping or freight operators whether they’d be interested in shipping their goods…” Oct 28, 22:06
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “You’ll get no argument from me Dan regarding any of your points raised. The closure of Grangemouth was an utterly…” Oct 28, 21:56
Dave on Vibecoding A Better World: “I’m glad to see you back and posting, Stu. I was a bit concerned by the silence and thought that…” Oct 28, 21:36
Aidan on Faces In Sand: “It’s not a question of NO aircraft flying. If; – independence significantly reduces demand on the rUK – Scotland routes;…” Oct 28, 19:51
Dan on Faces In Sand: “Ach, who knew in a self-governing Scotland so many folk would lose their jobs because we wouldn’t have any aircraft…” Oct 28, 19:12
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Northy, I concluded long ago that loopholes are designed into laws on purpose. Why else does it take years to…” Oct 28, 19:01
Aunty Flo on Vibecoding A Better World: “Great idea, Grant! Don’t forget the baby wipes. (Though not exactly sure what they are supposed to be for)….” Oct 28, 17:59
SystemUser1 on Vibecoding A Better World: “My own experience with that software showed a severe glitch under high load. I found that the interface becomes completely…” Oct 28, 17:57
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “AI isn’t just good at coding because coding is “simple” for AI engines — it’s good at coding because coding…” Oct 28, 17:42
Frank Gillougley on Vibecoding A Better World: “Just relieved that the private conversation BTL is now over! However, I am a fully paid up member of the…” Oct 28, 17:18
Mervyn Flange on Vibecoding A Better World: “It’s not just in the area of Scottish politics that you have made a great contribution. Many readers may be…” Oct 28, 17:01
Aidan on Faces In Sand: “@Alf – as part of that study did ask any shipping or freight operators whether they’d be interested in shipping…” Oct 28, 16:54
Grant on Vibecoding A Better World: “Genuinely curious, do you actually think AI is gonna be the end of us all imminently? Shall I order a…” Oct 28, 16:52
Craig on Vibecoding A Better World: “I did think about using AI to create a new political party that has an AI generated manifesto designed to…” Oct 28, 16:50
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “Lorncal: Scotland’s unelected elites never had the constitutional authority to sell the nation in the first place, even under extreme…” Oct 28, 16:21
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “Nice to see that you’ve had some fun for a change, Rev.” Oct 28, 15:41
Stephen Welsh on Vibecoding A Better World: “Fantastic!, you need to give Grok Bot a play too, not as smart as Claude (at the moment) but really…” Oct 28, 15:24
Chas on Faces In Sand: “Baird-Do you trawl through the comments section on Wings solely to say the same crap time after time AND ESPECIALLY…” Oct 28, 15:21
Lorncal on Faces In Sand: “Alf: even where they have signed a treaty and where they have acquiesced in their own subsumption for over 300…” Oct 28, 15:04
sam on Faces In Sand: “Northcode, Just in case you missed it ( I have been elsewhere) I asked today upthread what you think would…” Oct 28, 15:01
sam on Faces In Sand: “Northcode, What constitutes a mandate?” Oct 28, 14:56
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: ““I consider it rather self evident that if a regional hub was needed anywhere near here, then Oslo and/or Dublin…” Oct 28, 14:54
Captain Caveman on Faces In Sand: “@Spartan CEng? Respect and kudos 🙂” Oct 28, 14:37
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Put even more simply, Alf, you become a regional hub by being in a suitable location for lots of places…” Oct 28, 14:29
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “@Aidan – sadly its the response I’ve come to expect from political types on comment sections on various websites in…” Oct 28, 14:23
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “International law relating to territorial alienation informs us that annexation is unlawful; hence an annexed people/nation retain the right to…” Oct 28, 14:19