So, having made a statement on Monday morning which asserted that she wouldn’t make any further statements, then making another statement on Monday afternoon, Nicola Sturgeon and her solicitor issued a third statement in 36 hours last night.
And while we acknowledge that this is a very high bar to clear, it contained one of the most troubling and blatant lies she’s ever told.
There will be no trial, no cross-examination, no explanation. The people of Scotland, the members and supporters of the SNP, the wider Yes movement, none of us will ever know what really happened. Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
Despite what you or we might think, in the eyes of the Scottish Football Association this ISN’T a pitch invasion. This is simply what a football match in progress looks like.
Because according to the absolutely extraordinary statement they’ve released this evening, that was game time. The clock was still running, nothing was being added to account for the fact that there were thousands of thugs rampaging across the field, and the game was still happening in that moment, until it was ended four seconds later.
Anyone seeking to make a compelling argument for the proposition that Scotland’s politicians and lawmakers are simply too farcically incompetent to ever be trusted with running an independent country had a gift-wrapped Godsend delivered to them last week by the idiot student children of Edinburgh.
But we can’t really put the blame on the colourfully-haired, keffiyeh-clad cretin kiddies of the capital for that, because it’s their elders and betters who opened the door.
Alert readers will have noticed something of a minor furore in recent days around a boneheaded Scottish Greens candidate (as if there were any other kind) calling for the complete abolition of prisons.
So far Kate Nevens – who on the latest polling has a very reasonable chance of being elected on the list – has resisted calls to step down, which is probably for the best as, incredibly, her replacement would be even worse.
With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands, the next term of the Scottish Parliament is set to feature the worst array of MSPs in Holyrood’s history, with almost everyone in the SNP with any sort of ability or experience resigning to be replaced by hyper-obedient young party drones, while the opposition are mostly putting forward the same old faces who’ve been such utter failures for the last 20 years.
It’s a grim prospect, but we do have a solution to propose.
The turnout at the “independence march and rally” yesterday was so abysmally poor that it seems almost unfair to pick on any of the scores of SNP elected representatives who didn’t bother to show up.
But dear old Cosy Feet Pete Wishart had the most chef’s-kiss excuse of all.
The reason he didn’t fancy getting his wee Billy Whizz quiff blown about a chilly Calton Hill was that he had important business “taking on the far right” – who were of course nowhere to be seen – with “half a million” (50,000) of his British besties, a convenient short Tube ride away from his London residence, at a pretty openly anti-Semitic protest called, with a double layer of delicious comedic value… UK Together.
If events in Edinburgh today are anything to go by – when a march and rally announced with great fanfare seven months ago, backed by both the “independence” parties in the Scottish Parliament and featuring the First Minister as main speaker, attracted perhaps 1,500 people at the most to Calton Hill on a bright and sunny day – the independence movement faces an imminent final apocalypse.
So here’s how to prepare yourself for when the SNP win a landslide with 35%, Keir Starmer says “So what?” and then a deathly silence descends for another five years.
Even Kelly Given and Iona Fyfe didn’t show up for this one. That’s how bad it is.
The last faint hope of any remotely positive or at least interesting outcome of May’s election just left the building.
It wasn’t MUCH of a hope, and it’s absolutely no surprise in the wake of the comically shambolic, belief-defyingly inept farce that has been the birth of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s fringe-of-the fringe party, but all the same its extinguishing means the next two months will be even more of a waste of time than they looked like being.
Frankly, readers, we may as well not bother having an election at all.
Captain Caveman on These Words Are My Own: “Oh well, England firing six (yes, you heard it right folks SIX) goals against the French – widely fancied as…” Jul 19, 01:02
Young Lochinvar on A Matter Of Declinature: “HMcH Eh?? No. And your point is exactly, beaching a ship holed badly below the waterline allows repairs then refloating?…” Jul 19, 00:57
robertkknight on These Words Are My Own: “Nah…save the expense of construction and staffing and just dump the bastards there and let them fend for themselves. I’m…” Jul 18, 23:21
James on These Words Are My Own: “Oh, wow. You can tell when something ‘gets’ to them eh? They’re not even hiding it now, reams of unionist…” Jul 18, 22:29
James on These Words Are My Own: “Stupid fucking meaningless interjections is what the Site Prick is programmed to do. All day, every day. Rinse and repeat.” Jul 18, 22:16
James on These Words Are My Own: ““Once a Tory Prick, always a Tory Prick” ?” Jul 18, 22:12
James on These Words Are My Own: “The AI site Prick’s mission is to divert, distract and divide. All day, every day; in the hope that the…” Jul 18, 22:10
Red on These Words Are My Own: “Nicola Sturgeon. John Swinney. Humza Yousaf. Jamie Hepburn. Alex Salmond gave all these people political careers, despite their horrible inadequacies…” Jul 18, 21:53
jimburns on These Words Are My Own: “Puzzled me as well. Private Eye points out that the answer might be that as he wasn’t convicted of the…” Jul 18, 21:24
Tommo on Step One: “Indeed.There is a vague parallel I can offer from here in Wales;some years ago the Bonheddigion (look it up) decided…” Jul 18, 21:04
Saffron Robe on These Words Are My Own: “Nice one, Stuart. Let her try to prove her innocence in court. Surely the fact that all the items implicating…” Jul 18, 20:40
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: ““Such a fraud cannot be remedied by colonial elections” Havers, Alf. God only knows what you think the “laws of…” Jul 18, 20:28
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “It is a bit of a stupid fucking meaningless poem, Onlooker, so just what did you expect? And it doesn’t…” Jul 18, 19:16
Alf Baird on These Words Are My Own: “Andy, Hatey, You are ignoring the greatest fraud against the Scots, which is neither Murrell or Sturgeon, it is the…” Jul 18, 19:04
Red on These Words Are My Own: “Thank you, Reverend. From a grateful and weary Scotland.” Jul 18, 18:59
Onlooker on These Words Are My Own: “What a stupid fucking meaningless interjection from Mr Answer Everything All Day Every Day (I Am Halfwit, Hear Me Roar!),…” Jul 18, 18:15
Carol Neill on These Words Are My Own: “And the place is nearly empty The lion the witch and the audacity of that bitch” Jul 18, 18:08
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “Great post, Andy. “a plebiscitary general election fought on a platform that won’t take “No” for an answer” is, of…” Jul 18, 17:42
100%Yes on These Words Are My Own: “I believe we are dealing with no ordinary people, if anyone was to come forward it would be for money…” Jul 18, 17:36
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “What did a tiger ever do to him? There’s no hatred in a tiger, nor in any predator that ever…” Jul 18, 17:33
Andy Ellis on These Words Are My Own: “@Alf 3.20pm On the contrary Alf I’m quite aware of the rupture in the movement and of the creation of…” Jul 18, 17:31
100%Yes on These Words Are My Own: “The worry for Sturgeon is, what secrets does wings have hidden away in that large safe.” Jul 18, 17:08
Onlooker on These Words Are My Own: “THE GENIUS OF THE CROWD By Charles Bukowski There is enough treachery, hatred, violence, absurdity in the average human being…” Jul 18, 16:33
LinaryG on These Words Are My Own: “Now that really is interesting. Getting control of The Scotsman would have given a nationalist slant to a major paper…” Jul 18, 16:24
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “I’m genuinely curious, Alf. Of your “numerous former colonized peoples, now UN member states”, how many of these were split…” Jul 18, 16:01
Insider on These Words Are My Own: “Ian Foulds says: 18 July, 2026 at 2:57 pm Now is the time and now is the hour Nope! Memmi…” Jul 18, 15:37
Alf Baird on These Words Are My Own: ““The non-SNP parts of movement has signally failed so far to come up with any plausible alternative… as far as…” Jul 18, 15:20
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “Aye, Alf. We have no choice. We have to be back-stabbing thieves, crims, degenerates and embezzlers. Epic fuckups too. Some…” Jul 18, 15:15
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “Well said, Alf. You, of course, must be withholding the additional taxes levied on Scottish residents by the non-existent Scottish…” Jul 18, 15:03