The turnout at the “independence march and rally” yesterday was so abysmally poor that it seems almost unfair to pick on any of the scores of SNP elected representatives who didn’t bother to show up.
But dear old Cosy Feet Pete Wishart had the most chef’s-kiss excuse of all.
The reason he didn’t fancy getting his wee Billy Whizz quiff blown about a chilly Calton Hill was that he had important business “taking on the far right” – who were of course nowhere to be seen – with “half a million” (50,000) of his British besties, a convenient short Tube ride away from his London residence, at a pretty openly anti-Semitic protest called, with a double layer of delicious comedic value… UK Together.
If events in Edinburgh today are anything to go by – when a march and rally announced with great fanfare seven months ago, backed by both the “independence” parties in the Scottish Parliament and featuring the First Minister as main speaker, attracted perhaps 1,500 people at the most to Calton Hill on a bright and sunny day – the independence movement faces an imminent final apocalypse.
So here’s how to prepare yourself for when the SNP win a landslide with 35%, Keir Starmer says “So what?” and then a deathly silence descends for another five years.
Even Kelly Given and Iona Fyfe didn’t show up for this one. That’s how bad it is.
The last faint hope of any remotely positive or at least interesting outcome of May’s election just left the building.
It wasn’t MUCH of a hope, and it’s absolutely no surprise in the wake of the comically shambolic, belief-defyingly inept farce that has been the birth of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana’s fringe-of-the fringe party, but all the same its extinguishing means the next two months will be even more of a waste of time than they looked like being.
Frankly, readers, we may as well not bother having an election at all.
The number of parties who got MSPs elected at the last election is… five. (Though in fairness there are now six, Reform having a single MSP after Graham Simpson defected from the Tories. The Lib Dems are even outnumbered by independents, of whom there are seven.)
So Cathy Newman of Channel 4 News got herself a scoop last night.
And to be honest, readers, we were a bit confused. “Gender critical views” are not only lawful things to hold and express, they’re one of a small subset of opinions that are explicitly protected as such in law. And why would a man very occasionally airing some lawful and protected views on social media be a news story? You might as well run “BREAKING: Premiership footballer discovered to enjoy cheese-and-ham toasties”.
Which is handy, because today is also the day of the Gorton and Denton by-election in Manchester (fun fact: a seat we’d very likely have lived in ourselves if not for Osama bin Laden, but that’s another story), and that throws up some interesting parallels.
So on the one hand there’s obviously very little point paying attention to the SNP’s regional list candidates for May’s Holyrood election, because as this website has comprehensively demonstrated over recent months, the chances of the SNP having any list MSPs elected are remote.
However, nothing is impossible, so let’s take a look at the B team, which also serves as a guide to the party’s upcoming talent taking its first steps towards the gravy bus.
As the six-year fight for justice for Alex Salmond continues, we thought you might like to see this clip from this morning’s Mike Graham Show, interviewing Paul McManus, the businessman and drummer in Glasgow rock band Gun who’s stepped up to fund the Salmond family’s case against the Scottish Government despite disagreeing with much of what Alex stood for politically.
Kenneth Coutts on The Final Robbery: “Jeez, is that narcissistic or what , me me me. They are all traitors , sell outs , hing oots.…” May 30, 10:05
MaryB on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She tried describing Peter Murrell as a mysogenist this week. That’s a new angle for her to get the sympathy…” May 30, 09:39
SilentMajority on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Maybe even her self-conceited attitude knew that to be anywhere near a book titled ‘We Know What You Did’ was…” May 30, 09:00
Dan on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Aye, and let’s not forget other examples of the linked corruption. Just how could Alphabetty Miss H have stated so…” May 30, 08:58
Spartan 117 on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Digging up an event from almost 600 years ago. Well that’s convinced me about Independence then. Talking about clutching at…” May 30, 08:48
Willie on Marvola The Memory Woman: “The Crown Office is a criminal colonial operation. No one can have any faith in this arm of the state.…” May 30, 08:09
Bilbo on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I know there has been a lot of rumours, innuendo and hearsay about Sturgeons and Murrells marriage by people, including…” May 30, 08:07
Dave on Marvola The Memory Woman: “‘In Scotland strangulation often proceeded this ghastly death but not in merry ol’ England where they just loved a full…” May 30, 06:59
Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Serious question for those who know these things; Appointment aside. Who actually employs, oversees and pays Breathy Bain and her…” May 30, 04:37
Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “And THAT Izzie is why your posts here have been so so very wrong. “Booked yer slot with the campervan”;…” May 30, 04:30
twathater on Marvola The Memory Woman: “By fuck hatey McFuckwit you don’t half have a disturbed delusional mindset, your disturbed wee brain conjures up all sorts…” May 30, 03:34
David McAdam on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Murrell and Sturgeon absolutely slaughtered on HIGFY by all the guests. Reduced SNP to a Friday night laughing stock. I…” May 30, 02:57
Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “BTW Meant to add; the English lost the Hundred Years’ War (as well) and were finally booted completely out of…” May 30, 01:52
Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “On this day in history, 1431. Joan of Arc, the Maid of Orleans, La Pucelle, her that led the French…” May 30, 00:46
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Marvola The Memory Woman: “POLICE SCOTLAND SLAMMED FOR SPENDING THOUSANDS ON PRO-TRANS ADVICE PANEL Police Scotland is under fire for spending over £7,200 on…” May 29, 22:48
Geri on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She looks like she’s a permanent resident of the kitchen these days. Especially around the fridge area. Aye, I know.…” May 29, 22:16
Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Everything that has emerged concerning the Murrell/Sturgeon affair is consistent with the explanatory framework provided by the political theory mentioned…” May 29, 22:11
agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Incredible that she employs an expensive solicitor and then ignores the “no comment” advice.” May 29, 21:54
Confused on Marvola The Memory Woman: “poor little Nikki – “I don’t wanna … talk about it … ” – and yet she won’t stop talking…” May 29, 21:53
paul on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I disagree. There is a good deal of good in hounding her (her passion partner has gone) as every time…” May 29, 21:40
Jay on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Do tell us Chas, are you one of those sane, educated persons to whom you refer (in response to Alf)?…” May 29, 21:00
agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““In the period leading up to the launch of the police inquiry senior people in the SNP including the former…” May 29, 20:20
bobo bunny on Marvola The Memory Woman: “if its a matrimonial home, I dont think it can be sold, until they are legally divorced” May 29, 20:06
agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Nicola Sturgeon said a coffee machine would be her luxury item when she appeared on Desert Island Discs. Scotland’s former…” May 29, 19:48
Frank Gillougley on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She said that she had been ‘deceived, misled, lied to and betrayed’ Well, whatdya know? That’s not irony bypass, thats…” May 29, 19:43
agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Well I’ve just seen No Further Comment Sturgeon on BBC news, ITV news and Channel 4 news making further comments.…” May 29, 19:34
Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: “It’s reasonable to assume she may have thrown the odd steam iron in his direction from time to time.” May 29, 19:06
Sue Varley on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She certainly used to go in the kitchen – remember the photo of her showing off her expensive coffee machine…” May 29, 19:04
Ex President Xiden on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I think it’s most appropriate that Nicola is currently on a tour of story telling festivals.” May 29, 18:54
