Our first letter was answered/dismissed by “Service Adviser 1989847”, so this reply to our second one, while it doesn’t say much, definitely feels like a step up.
Our KC has offered all possible assistance to the Cyber and Fraud Unit in relation to the matter, and we’ll keep you posted with any developments, readers.
We received two emails today, just a few minutes apart. There are a couple of notable things about them. The first came from Claire Somebody at the Crown Office.
The second one, even more thrillingly, came from Service Advisor 1989847 at Police Scotland, which we assume is some sort of advanced crime-fighting robot.
In one of those emails, readers, is a three-word phrase that raised our eyebrows just about right off our heads. Before we chat any more, see if it jumps out at you too.
Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service
25 Chambers Street
Edinburgh
EH1 1LA
4 June 2026
.
Dear Chief Constable and Crown Office,
RE: REQUEST FOR CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION — ALLEGED
MISAPPROPRIATION OF RING-FENCED POLITICAL DONATIONS
I write to request that Police Scotland/COPFS open a criminal investigation into the alleged misappropriation of funds donated to the Scottish National Party (SNP) on the basis that those funds would be held and applied for a specific, designated purpose.
If you subscribe to the theory that it’s better to fight 100 duck-sized horses than a single horse-sized duck, the SNP is knocking it out of the park today.
Because the papers just can’t make their minds up about the biggest story with which to attack John Swinney’s beleaguered party.
You’ve had a few pretty gruelling pieces to get through in the last week or so, readers, so here’s something a little more light-hearted.
It’s from an episode of Broadcasting Scotland on 27 November 2020, a month after we confirmed our big story about the SNP accounts and the missing fundraiser money. In it, snug-toed SNP MP Pete Wishart opines that there really is nothing to worry about, and we should all just put our trust in the party.
We’ll leave you to judge whose opinion stood the test of time.
Northcode on These Words Are My Own: ““No amount of obfuscation can hide the fact that any “decolonisation” attempt becomes a slam dunk if the people behind…” Jul 19, 09:17
diabloandco on These Words Are My Own: “Nah! Gruinard not St Kilda – leave it to its lovely natural inhabitants!” Jul 19, 09:08
Aidan on These Words Are My Own: “That is why for example, Palestine, Tibet, the Sioux/Navajo regions, North Cyprus etc. have never been NSGT’s.” Jul 19, 09:01
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “Can’t wait until tomorrow, to get some hope in my postcode. I give it a week before normal service will…” Jul 19, 09:00
Andy Ellis on These Words Are My Own: “I notice Alf that you still don’t deign to answer the questions I posed. One might almost think that’s because…” Jul 19, 09:00
Aidan on These Words Are My Own: ““The UN’s decolonisation frameworks don’t begin with a majority vote; they begin with an assessment of conditions: historical incorporation (the…” Jul 19, 08:58
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “Perhaps you could clarify, CC. Does that make England First Loser, or Second Loser? 🙂” Jul 19, 08:18
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “Ah Wally, is there a sight so delightful, a sound so musical to the ear, or a scent so alluring,…” Jul 19, 08:15
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: ““then relying solely on normal internal electoral mechanisms to remedy it cannot resolve the issue” Naw? You cannot say that…” Jul 19, 08:01
Northcode on These Words Are My Own: ““God only knows what you think the “laws of decolonization” are, but the UN isn’t going to apply these “laws”…” Jul 19, 06:55
ScotsCanuck on These Words Are My Own: “Holy Crap !!! … it just could be that she is the architect of her own doom !! … she…” Jul 19, 03:28
Captain Caveman on These Words Are My Own: “Oh well, England firing six (yes, you heard it right folks SIX) goals against the French – widely fancied as…” Jul 19, 01:02
Young Lochinvar on A Matter Of Declinature: “HMcH Eh?? No. And your point is exactly, beaching a ship holed badly below the waterline allows repairs then refloating?…” Jul 19, 00:57
robertkknight on These Words Are My Own: “Nah…save the expense of construction and staffing and just dump the bastards there and let them fend for themselves. I’m…” Jul 18, 23:21
James on These Words Are My Own: “Oh, wow. You can tell when something ‘gets’ to them eh? They’re not even hiding it now, reams of unionist…” Jul 18, 22:29
James on These Words Are My Own: “Stupid fucking meaningless interjections is what the Site Prick is programmed to do. All day, every day. Rinse and repeat.” Jul 18, 22:16
James on These Words Are My Own: ““Once a Tory Prick, always a Tory Prick” ?” Jul 18, 22:12
James on These Words Are My Own: “The AI site Prick’s mission is to divert, distract and divide. All day, every day; in the hope that the…” Jul 18, 22:10
Red on These Words Are My Own: “Nicola Sturgeon. John Swinney. Humza Yousaf. Jamie Hepburn. Alex Salmond gave all these people political careers, despite their horrible inadequacies…” Jul 18, 21:53
jimburns on These Words Are My Own: “Puzzled me as well. Private Eye points out that the answer might be that as he wasn’t convicted of the…” Jul 18, 21:24
Tommo on Step One: “Indeed.There is a vague parallel I can offer from here in Wales;some years ago the Bonheddigion (look it up) decided…” Jul 18, 21:04
Saffron Robe on These Words Are My Own: “Nice one, Stuart. Let her try to prove her innocence in court. Surely the fact that all the items implicating…” Jul 18, 20:40
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: ““Such a fraud cannot be remedied by colonial elections” Havers, Alf. God only knows what you think the “laws of…” Jul 18, 20:28
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “It is a bit of a stupid fucking meaningless poem, Onlooker, so just what did you expect? And it doesn’t…” Jul 18, 19:16
Alf Baird on These Words Are My Own: “Andy, Hatey, You are ignoring the greatest fraud against the Scots, which is neither Murrell or Sturgeon, it is the…” Jul 18, 19:04
Red on These Words Are My Own: “Thank you, Reverend. From a grateful and weary Scotland.” Jul 18, 18:59
Onlooker on These Words Are My Own: “What a stupid fucking meaningless interjection from Mr Answer Everything All Day Every Day (I Am Halfwit, Hear Me Roar!),…” Jul 18, 18:15
Carol Neill on These Words Are My Own: “And the place is nearly empty The lion the witch and the audacity of that bitch” Jul 18, 18:08