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Anas Sarwar is a winner 32

Posted on May 06, 2026 by

Specifically, of the Single Most Toe-Curlingly, Face-Palmingly Cretinous Thing Said In The 2026 Holyrood Election Campaign, And Possibly Any Election Ever, Prize.

We mean, wow. We could easily write a 1000-word article purely on the top 10 things that are fatuously, obviously idiotic about those three short sentences, and so could you. So imagine how embarrassed the poor Daily Record must be today.

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Binfire Of The Vanities 181

Posted on May 04, 2026 by

For a nation that prides itself on hating the Tories, this is very odd.

And if you don’t see how, let us illustrate.

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Seven Days Too Long 315

Posted on April 30, 2026 by

It’s nearly over, readers. Just one more week of this to endure.

The most miserable Holyrood election campaign of all time will end next Thursday with an election which will deliver Scotland’s most miserable devolved government of all time. Only the exact form, colour and shape of the misery remains to be determined.

So as the SNP promise through forked tongues to cut the cost of living with a pledge they know full well they have no chance of being able to actually implement, while using the powers they DO have to INCREASE the cost of everything that makes life WORTH living, let’s look at exactly what flavour of dog vomit we can expect to be choking down along with our state-approved organic broccoli and fat-free gruel for the next half-decade.

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Push The Button 196

Posted on April 25, 2026 by

We’ve been thinking about this all morning, readers.

To the point where we’d vote for any party pledging to implement it at once.

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How To Get Away With Crimes 62

Posted on April 22, 2026 by

After many years of vindictively, vexatiously and maliciously plaguing innocent people, it seemed in February this year that disgraced and deranged former policeman Lynsay Watson‘s campaign of terror might be finally beginning to draw to a close.

Attending the Civic Justice Centre in Manchester as part of an ongoing attempt to persecute the feminist journalist and author Helen Joyce, Watson was intercepted by Greater Manchester Police and arrested in connection with allegations of harassment of several people, one of whom was myself.

Watson had been evading justice for a long time. He provides false addresses to the police and courts (which is a crime in itself), and despite numerous criminal complaints against him he manages to dodge arrest because police forces endlessly ping-pong the complaints between each other (“He lives in YOUR area!” “No, yours!”) and allow him to repeatedly arrange voluntary interviews which he never turns up to, stalling and hiding until the six-month limit on harassment cases times out.

And guess what, readers?

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The Pit Of Vipers 249

Posted on April 19, 2026 by

It’s hard to know where to start with the Sunday Mail’s lead story today.

Especially if one doesn’t want sent to prison.

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The Narcissism Of No Differences 96

Posted on April 17, 2026 by

So that’s the full set of manifestos in.

You can download them all here in a oner, if you’re REALLY bored. But we don’t advise it, because we can just tell you what they say in a couple of minutes.

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Happy Anniversary 119

Posted on April 16, 2026 by

It was exactly one year ago today that the Supreme Court delivered its judgment in the case of For Women Scotland Vs The Scottish Ministers, a judgment which has still not been implemented by the Scottish or UK governments, so it was quite bold of the SNP to choose it as the launch date for their manifesto.

The judgment (which the SNP are in fact still fighting in court) is not referenced in the document and the phrases “women’s rights” and “single-sex” do not appear anywhere in it, although it does say “We are committed to upholding and protecting the human rights of trans people as far as possible within our powers and we will do all we can to ensure that trans people’s identities are recognised and respected”.

So, y’know, more of the same to come for the next five years.

Do You Believe In The Westwood? 317

Posted on April 10, 2026 by

As all alert readers will know, this site likes to keep a watchful eye on the shady and disturbing activities of paedophilia-plagued charity LGBT Youth Scotland. So we were naturally intrigued to hear that they’d hired a new convenor last month.

And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Blimey, AI Christopher Walken looks very very ill”, well, stay tuned, because this story gets more and more interesting.

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Not So Octopus 126

Posted on April 09, 2026 by

Alert readers will have noticed something of a minor furore in recent days around a boneheaded Scottish Greens candidate (as if there were any other kind) calling for the complete abolition of prisons.

So far Kate Nevens – who on the latest polling has a very reasonable chance of being elected on the list – has resisted calls to step down, which is probably for the best as, incredibly, her replacement would be even worse.

With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands, the next term of the Scottish Parliament is set to feature the worst array of MSPs in Holyrood’s history, with almost everyone in the SNP with any sort of ability or experience resigning to be replaced by hyper-obedient young party drones, while the opposition are mostly putting forward the same old faces who’ve been such utter failures for the last 20 years.

It’s a grim prospect, but we do have a solution to propose.

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The quality of mercy 238

Posted on April 03, 2026 by

Let’s just deal with this quickly.

Because the truth is that we should all be quietly sending BBC Scotland bouquets in appreciation for doing the independence movement a favour for once.

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Clocks And Calendars 178

Posted on March 30, 2026 by

We think the lads at The Scotsman might have gotten a bit confused and/or carried away when it came to putting the clocks forward at the weekend. At 6am on Sunday morning they tweeted this:

But the link was a 404. We checked the print edition of Scotland On Sunday but there was nothing there either. Finally, though, the article has shown up in today’s paper and on the website, and to be honest with you, readers, we still think it must be some sort of mistake, because it’s two days early for April 1st.

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    • MaryB on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She tried describing Peter Murrell as a mysogenist this week. That’s a new angle for her to get the sympathy…May 30, 09:39
    • SilentMajority on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Maybe even her self-conceited attitude knew that to be anywhere near a book titled ‘We Know What You Did’ was…May 30, 09:00
    • Dan on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Aye, and let’s not forget other examples of the linked corruption. Just how could Alphabetty Miss H have stated so…May 30, 08:58
    • Spartan 117 on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Digging up an event from almost 600 years ago. Well that’s convinced me about Independence then. Talking about clutching at…May 30, 08:48
    • Willie on Marvola The Memory Woman: “The Crown Office is a criminal colonial operation. No one can have any faith in this arm of the state.…May 30, 08:09
    • Bilbo on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I know there has been a lot of rumours, innuendo and hearsay about Sturgeons and Murrells marriage by people, including…May 30, 08:07
    • Dave on Marvola The Memory Woman: “‘In Scotland strangulation often proceeded this ghastly death but not in merry ol’ England where they just loved a full…May 30, 06:59
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Serious question for those who know these things; Appointment aside. Who actually employs, oversees and pays Breathy Bain and her…May 30, 04:37
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “And THAT Izzie is why your posts here have been so so very wrong. “Booked yer slot with the campervan”;…May 30, 04:30
    • twathater on Marvola The Memory Woman: “By fuck hatey McFuckwit you don’t half have a disturbed delusional mindset, your disturbed wee brain conjures up all sorts…May 30, 03:34
    • David McAdam on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Murrell and Sturgeon absolutely slaughtered on HIGFY by all the guests. Reduced SNP to a Friday night laughing stock. I…May 30, 02:57
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “BTW Meant to add; the English lost the Hundred Years’ War (as well) and were finally booted completely out of…May 30, 01:52
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “On this day in history, 1431. Joan of Arc, the Maid of Orleans, La Pucelle, her that led the French…May 30, 00:46
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Marvola The Memory Woman: “POLICE SCOTLAND SLAMMED FOR SPENDING THOUSANDS ON PRO-TRANS ADVICE PANEL Police Scotland is under fire for spending over £7,200 on…May 29, 22:48
    • Geri on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She looks like she’s a permanent resident of the kitchen these days. Especially around the fridge area. Aye, I know.…May 29, 22:16
    • Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Everything that has emerged concerning the Murrell/Sturgeon affair is consistent with the explanatory framework provided by the political theory mentioned…May 29, 22:11
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Incredible that she employs an expensive solicitor and then ignores the “no comment” advice.May 29, 21:54
    • Confused on Marvola The Memory Woman: “poor little Nikki – “I don’t wanna … talk about it … ” – and yet she won’t stop talking…May 29, 21:53
    • paul on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I disagree. There is a good deal of good in hounding her (her passion partner has gone) as every time…May 29, 21:40
    • Jay on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Do tell us Chas, are you one of those sane, educated persons to whom you refer (in response to Alf)?…May 29, 21:00
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““In the period leading up to the launch of the police inquiry senior people in the SNP including the former…May 29, 20:20
    • bobo bunny on Marvola The Memory Woman: “if its a matrimonial home, I dont think it can be sold, until they are legally divorcedMay 29, 20:06
    • bobo bunny on Marvola The Memory Woman: “she’s at the hay festival todayMay 29, 20:01
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Nicola Sturgeon said a coffee machine would be her luxury item when she appeared on Desert Island Discs. Scotland’s former…May 29, 19:48
    • Frank Gillougley on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She said that she had been ‘deceived, misled, lied to and betrayed’ Well, whatdya know? That’s not irony bypass, thats…May 29, 19:43
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Well I’ve just seen No Further Comment Sturgeon on BBC news, ITV news and Channel 4 news making further comments.…May 29, 19:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: “It’s reasonable to assume she may have thrown the odd steam iron in his direction from time to time.May 29, 19:06
    • Sue Varley on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She certainly used to go in the kitchen – remember the photo of her showing off her expensive coffee machine…May 29, 19:04
    • Ex President Xiden on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I think it’s most appropriate that Nicola is currently on a tour of story telling festivals.May 29, 18:54
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Nicola Sturgeon has said she wishes she had not kept Peter Murrell on as SNP chief executive when she became…May 29, 18:35
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