The announcement that the Scottish Government would seek the uncontested legal right to hold a second independence referendum met with an outpouring of rage and ignorance from the massed ranks of the UK media that was in one sense entirely predictable yet still startling in its fury and ferocity.
Most prominent was the assertion, stated as fact by every pundit and broadcaster – including those required by law to be fair and impartial – that a second referendum would be conducted in the environment of a significantly worse economic case.
And that’s a remarkable claim, because the indisputable fact is that nobody has the slightest clue what the economic case for No will be.
Judging by the first 24 hours, we’re in for a two-year festival of utter horror from the UK and Scottish media. Yesterday saw a never-ending parade of metrosplaining idiots dragged willingly in front of cameras and microphones to pontificate their clueless and mind-numbingly ignorant drivel about Scotland.
It wasn’t possible to keep track of it all, because it was frequently happening on five channels at once, and it was harder still to watch it for any extended period of time without hurling a brick through the screen in frustration at the offensive stupidity of it.
Feeding into that was a stream of Scottish politicians who actually did know better, but who are too catastrophically dim to adapt to changing circumstances and had no strategy other than to endlessly repeat the same cretinous soundbites over and over.
(Adam Tomkins in particular was ubiquitous, spending what felt like several hours on various airwaves reciting the same brainless 10-second schtick forever.)
The constitutional politics of the UK and Scotland are in flux, and many aspects of the situation are complicated. But quite a lot of them aren’t, and if we’re all going to make it through the next two years without stabbing each other in the throat, it’d be a lot better if everyone accepted the things that are definite, empirical, indisputable facts.
Alert readers will of course be aware that one of this site’s most frequently-recurring themes is “phantom news”, whereby events or unpleasant opinions that newspapers or broadcasters really want to have happened are conveniently brought to life, either by some random nobody on the internet, or an unnamed “source” or “insider”.
So when Nicola Sturgeon did something today that nearly everyone in the Northern Hemisphere knew she was going to do sometime soon, but wasn’t expecting just yet, there wasn’t time to prepare actual real people with the required quotes.
In the modern media world, though, that isn’t a problem.
We saw this exchange on Twitter this morning, involving left-wing Labour activist Eoin Clarke, a reader, and Scottish Labour list MSP Elaine Smith.
Smith professed to find it “unbelievable” and “scary” that the reader thought he’d had Tory governments for most of his lifetime. (We asked him how old he was and he said 34, which means he’s had Tory governments for 62% of his life, so that checks out.)
But it’s a standard Scottish Labour line that there’s no real difference between Scottish and English voters in terms of favouring left-wing politics, so we thought we’d just quickly check the arithmetic on that. The results are unlikely to shock you.
…on Good Morning Scotland yesterday, then we suspect you’re going to love the Lib Dems’ heroically glaikit MSP Alex Cole-Hamilton on the same show today.
We joke, of course. The Spanish government has made this position abundantly plain several times over a number of years, and it still doesn’t stop idiot Yoons (and media pundits who should know better) from spouting it.
But this time, in the flesh, it’s really quite hard to spin a way out of.
We don’t want to fall into the trap of portraying the Liberal Democrats as a party of any political relevance or consequence in Scotland, but for the sheer comedy value alone Willie Rennie’s interview with Gary Robertson on today’s Good Morning Scotland is worth a couple of minutes of your time.
First Minister’s Questions today (featuring stand-in FM John Swinney in a theatrical mood) was one long howl of “TOO WEE AND TOO POOR!”, with both Ruth Davidson and Kezia Dugdale using all of their questions to hark back to oil revenue forecasts from 2013 and insist that an independent Scotland would face economic apocalypse.
It was a dispiriting spectacle, and we found ourselves experiencing (not for the first time) pangs of sympathy for the remaining tiny rump of Scottish Labour voters, who must surely watch in broken despair at the antics of the hapless pack of squawking diddies representing their views in the Parliament.
Chas on Vibecoding A Better World: “How interesting. I have never read interpretations of 300+ year old stuff before. But only if we discount the exact…” Nov 2, 13:53
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “Indeed a clever attempt north code, Except England did not update its Calendar year until 1752 to be in line…” Nov 2, 13:25
Dan on Vibecoding A Better World: “@ Northcode at 11:04 am You don’t have waffle some word twisting shite on here. Over the course of the…” Nov 2, 13:03
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Cheers, sarah. There was me reading about the Scottish Men’s Curling team’s European Championship triumph on the BBC website and…” Nov 2, 12:55
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “Thanks for reporting this achievement. And making clear that once again the BBC has worked to hide a Scotland triumph.” Nov 2, 12:19
McDuff on Vibecoding A Better World: “Scotland’s men pick up a gold at the world curling championships and es far as I can see it has…” Nov 2, 11:13
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “Alf’s argument frames Scotland’s economic condition through a mythic lens of colonial underdevelopment. In its historical and economic framing, these…” Nov 2, 11:04
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “For clarity… James Che’s argument rests on a mythic moment they place in 1606, where they believe the Scottish Parliament…” Nov 2, 10:28
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “Yes of course “a radical change in the political (and colonial) landscape” is absolutely critical for recovery and development of…” Nov 2, 10:24
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Aidan The laughable aspect to this is that there are plenty of Scots, myself included, who would love Scotland to…” Nov 2, 10:20
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “Well done Izzie, you’re exactly right. If Nicola Sturgeon had been first minister between 2014 and 2023 Scotland would be…” Nov 2, 10:15
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “You are right James, when people hear about the true nature of what happened in 1606, they will take to…” Nov 2, 09:47
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “So the plan is, Day 1 – become independent and Day 2 – become identical to Norway? Scotland on Day…” Nov 2, 09:41
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Awa and shite, Alf. The context is you lying about Scotland having the highest energy prices in the world. The…” Nov 2, 09:39
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “The ‘context’ Hatey, which you completely ignore, much like your beloved ‘union’ hoax, is that Norway’s economy is so advanced…” Nov 2, 09:09
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Could be so much worse, Bob. At least she’s not claiming the route to Scottish Independence is via climbing on…” Nov 2, 09:01
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “So true, James. People vowing to edumacate themselves about the shenanigans of 1707 is all I ever hear at the…” Nov 2, 08:56
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “One can understand the need and fear of Unionist to Squash Alf Bairds voice before it grows and becomes known…” Nov 2, 08:22
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “When enough Scots identify where and when the the treaty of union failed to be completed or accomplish its purpose,…” Nov 2, 08:01
Bilbo on Vibecoding A Better World: “Given that they only teach postmodern theories in the education system nowadays, students are only interested in bringing down the…” Nov 2, 07:40
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “To make the theory of of the treaty of union of two parliaments merging to create unitary State of Great…” Nov 2, 07:39
robertkknight on Vibecoding A Better World: “That’s the least of your worries… There’s clearly other issues elsewhere! (I speak as a sufferer of osteoarthritis in both…” Nov 1, 19:59
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “I get it, Alf. Having higher petrol and diesel prices than ours in Norway doesn’t matter because of “context”. As…” Nov 1, 19:30
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “The charging infrastructure in Norway is excellent – i’ve seen EV chargers on unsurfaced roads. However, just under 70% of…” Nov 1, 19:17
100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “Your leader boosting he’s prepared to work with Burnham but isn’t prepared to work to delivery the mandate again the…” Nov 1, 19:04
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “Context Hatey! Few care about the price of diesel/petrol in Norway when 90% of cars sold there are electric, aided…” Nov 1, 18:47
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Why nit focus on the real enemy” The spelling and grammar police?” Nov 1, 18:24