As it happens, one of the things that we’ve been occupying ourselves with during the current news drought is pulling together a post called “The SNPBAD Files”, collecting all the desperate smear and innuendo of the Unionist press as it systematically tries to discredit every one of the 56 SNP MPs elected last May.
Until last night we hadn’t been sure which had been the most pathetically dismal. Was it the MP who still did a few haircuts in his barber shop on Saturday afternoons? The one who bought a derelict London house many years before he was an MP, renovated it with his own hands and now sometimes stays there when working at Westminster, rather than charging expenses to the public for accommodation? Or perhaps the one who tweeted that he was opposed to the concept of monarchy, the foul monster?
As politics wakes up from the holidays, any readers still bothering to gaze at the pages of the Scottish media could be forgiven for a crushing sense of deja vu.
Alert readers may recall an incident last year in which the Scottish media got itself very worked up about some independence supporters threatening to boycott holiday company Barrhead Travel after its owner sent a barking-mad letter to staff about how the company would go out of business if Scotland voted Yes.
So we’re sure that you won’t be able to move later today and tomorrow for newspaper articles about something similar, but significantly worse, that happened this weekend.
Last night we ran a piece about a story in last week’s Daily Record in which a Scottish Labour official was given free rein to make an extended political attack on the SNP in the guise of a “business student” from the University of the West of Scotland, without his Labour identity being revealed, on the flimsy basis of a petition about college cuts with a few hundred signatures.
As it happens, another UWS student also has a petition doing the rounds at the moment. But it got treated rather differently by the Scottish press.
We’ve noted on more than one occasion that the spectacular SNP surge since the referendum appears to have completely unhinged much of the Scottish and UK press. Having pumped out a vast avalanche of hysterical coverage which utterly failed to stop the Scottish electorate returning 56 SNPs out of 59, the papers have responded to the rebuff by simply turning the volume up.
But even by those standards, today has been special.
Amazingly enough, the Scottish press today ISN’T wall-to-wall with stories about Baron McConnell of Glenscorrodale, UK peer and lawmaker, endorsing the “f***ing booting” of Conservative supporters at the weekend, in a striking contrast to when a young SNP candidate said similar but less offensive things some months ago.
(Lord McConnell’s friends were talking in the future tense about something they would do. Mhairi Black was talking in the past tense, about things which she HADN’T done.)
As far as we’ve seen, the small piece above in the Scottish Sun is the only coverage. (The Daily Record, as well as not reporting the McConnell comments at all, actually has another go at Mhairi Black instead.)
But we were having trouble recalling any “hate-filled violent mobs” (McConnell’s actual full quote) on the Yes/SNP side. And so was an alert reader who had a dig through the papers from the last couple of years.
At today’s First Minister’s Questions, the Scottish Labour deputy leader Kezia Dugdale launched into an ill-advised attack over an SNP candidate who’d made some foolish (but not especially outrageous) comments on Twitter in 2012. Rather than simply issuing the standard generic condemnation of abusive remarks, Nicola Sturgeon did so but also drew Dugdale’s attention to the beam in her own eye.
Labour activist, blogger, lawyer and regular BBC pundit Ian Smart (he hasn’t been seen on STV since accusing them repeatedly, without any evidence, of letting the SNP pre-approve all interview questions some time ago) is well known to readers of this blog. Bizarrely, however, Dugdale feigned ignorance of his activity.
To help her, we’ve compiled some of Mr Smart’s greatest hits.
As alert readers will already know, this site’s core long-term aim is to eventually render itself redundant, by showing people how to read between the lines, spot what isn’t being said and understand the various tricks that newspapers use in order to get the public to believe things that aren’t true without ever doing anything so crass (and more to the point, legally-actionable) as directly lying.
Today’s papers provide an especially clear-cut example.
That clip (from just past midnight on the BBC News channel) isn’t a bad starting-point summary of last night’s extraordinary story, except by our count the Telegraph’s piece was fourth-hand rather than third-hand.
(First-hand would have been Nicola Sturgeon. Second-hand would have been the ambassador. Third-hand would have been the consul-general. The civil servant – who doubted the story him/herself – is fourth-hand.)
This is also a pretty good primer. Now let’s get to the fun stuff.
Former Labour spindoctor Charlie Whelan in the Strathspey & Badenoch Herald:
Click to enlarge as Whelan segues seamlessly from terrible Scottish “nationalism” to racial genocide in Auschwitz, because, you know, Yes voters are all basically Nazis*.
*George Galloway’s comments (made in his capacity as a nominated representative of “Better Together”) from yesterday’s BBC “Big Big Debate” were edited out of the broadcast version. We’re sure it was just to keep the running time tight.
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “Cause it’s harder to rig if a sample has already been announced. The didn’t have one for indyref either. The…” May 8, 08:57
Aidan on Pick Your Poison: “Well you know CC, sometimes it’s nice to be proven right. It’s like someone who’s about to follow their satnav…” May 8, 08:50
Mark on Pick Your Poison: “Why no exit polling in scotland?” May 8, 08:29
100%Yes on Pick Your Poison: “SNP well short of majority but to remain largest party by far, says leading pollster. If this is true and…” May 8, 07:48
Captain Caveman on Pick Your Poison: “@Hatey Good morning 🙂 Looks like Reform are smashing it; people are persuaded en masse across the political spectrum by…” May 8, 07:20
Captain Caveman on Pick Your Poison: “Ooft. That’s gotta hurt… Whilst no one but the most gullible will be surprised at this outcome, I admire your…” May 8, 07:16
Aidan on Pick Your Poison: “Oh dear James, how embarrassing for you and Alf and the others, I didn’t realise another approach had been rejected…” May 8, 06:11
twathater on Pick Your Poison: “Alf / Dan, I got roasted by grousebeater for suggesting that Kenny MacAskill had ignored and rejected the hand of…” May 8, 02:41
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “It’s not nonsense & Marie is correct. Every vote cast for this colonial outpost is a vote to maintain &…” May 8, 01:30
Mark Beggan on Pick Your Poison: “If the SNP are skint where did they get the money to pay for so many leaflets?” May 8, 01:03
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “Shiteface, So you admit Scotland only has a say in Westminster if it votes Unionist. Thanks for confirmation that we…” May 8, 00:21
GM on Pick Your Poison: “I didn’t bother on the constituency either. It turned out there might have been a pro independence party on it,…” May 8, 00:05
GM on Pick Your Poison: “Staff at polling station said turnout was vert good, surprisingly. I was extremely surprised as it is unusual for the…” May 7, 23:35
Geri on Pick Your Poison: ““because the Kingdom of England just hijacks the Westminster elections as their own, thus simplifying the choices and reducing the…” May 7, 23:18
Cuphook on Pick Your Poison: “I have the right to vote, but it’s not compulsory. And I don’t need your respect. My choice to not…” May 7, 22:36
James on Pick Your Poison: “Well Northy…here we go…. The United Nations Has Received the Evidence: Scotland Is a Colony and the World Now Knows…” May 7, 22:08
Wally Jumblatt on Pick Your Poison: “I was handed the peachy sheet for the List candidates, a rag, tag & bobtail sheet of non-people and fantasy…” May 7, 22:06
James on Pick Your Poison: “To paraphrase a great thinker talking about Fish Face previously; not all people who vote “Reform” are racist, but all…” May 7, 21:29
James on The value bet: “Excellent. Boxes full here as well. Hopefully ATLS will do weel! Soar Alba.” May 7, 21:10
Chris Downie on Pick Your Poison: “At this stage, would it actually be better if the pro-independence majority was lost, so that minds could refocus and…” May 7, 21:02
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “They’re read by the candidates throughout the count so they can all agree to discard them/proof they’re spoiled. It may…” May 7, 20:51
Bilbo on Pick Your Poison: “I don’t know if I have understood Grousebeater correctly but is he saying that we should be voting for SNP…” May 7, 20:33
Marie on Pick Your Poison: “If you’d read my original post you would know that I intend to vote on the list paper. That’s where…” May 7, 20:30
Bilbo on Pick Your Poison: “@ Cuphook 7 May, 2026 at 12:22 pm Of course for those that support Reform and have made up their…” May 7, 20:29
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Pick Your Poison: “One of you has a capital J, the other doesn’t.” May 7, 20:28
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Pick Your Poison: “Even if lots of idiots vote SNP 1+2 it won’t be because that mad wee chimp told them to.” May 7, 20:26
agentx on Pick Your Poison: “There is still time to go to vote.” May 7, 20:15
agentx on Pick Your Poison: “Absolute nonsense. Go back to sitting on your hands and see how much that does for you.” May 7, 20:11
Marie on Pick Your Poison: “agentx @7.10pm – The system is rigged. Candidates are bought. Candidates are captured. This isn’t the early 1900s. Our “elites”…” May 7, 19:50
george wood on Pick Your Poison: “Seems to have been a big green turnout in my ward in Edinburgh Central. Maybe somebody should have taken Stu…” May 7, 19:50