Remember when some of us made a bit of a fuss about the epically tasteless plans for the 100th anniversary of the start of World War 1, and were angrily told by various indignant British nationalists that the planned events were a “commemoration, not a celebration”? Turns out you can’t keep the truth down for long.
Astonishingly, the government even wheeled out some unbelievable numbnuts of a defence minister who offered up the following quote to describe this great sporting showpiece in which we will again be encouraged to see the Germans as our enemies:
“A no-brainer in terms of an event that is going to reach part of the community that perhaps might not get terribly entrenched into this”
Yep. He really said “entrenched”. Still, we agree with the first three words.
Try as we might, we’re only one small website and we can’t track every last news story in the world. So we’re not sure who died and made Calum Cashley chief of the Internet Police. But whoever it was did the cause of independence a great disservice by not clinging to life for a couple more years.
The Herald’s front-page headline this morning – that is, the most important thing the newspaper considers to be happening in the world today – is “Yes campaigners launch bid to silence cybernats“. We won’t insult our readers’ intelligence by naming its author. It exists solely as a result of the actions of Calum Cashley, and it manages to turn an event of such microscopic non-significance it wouldn’t have raised a gnat’s eyelash into a bilious spew of toxic No-campaign propaganda. Nice work, officer.
We hadn’t previously bothered commenting on the Guardian cartoon by Steve Bell that had a lot of independence supporters hot under the collar this week. We’d assumed, as seemed the most likely explanation, that it had actually been a comment on what David Cameron was alleged to have mouthed to Angus Robertson at Prime Minister’s Questions, and that Cameron was therefore the main intended target.
We worried that the nationalists who beseiged the paper with angry comments were perhaps being a little oversensitive and looking for offence where none had been meant. Ironically, the cartoon happened only days after we’d highlighted our own habitual inability to understand what Bell’s cartoons were supposed to be about, and that comment turned out to be prophetic, because we had indeed called it wrong.
It’s commonplace for professional journalists these days to dismiss bloggers and social-media users as “internet bampots” – frothing, furious, abusive lunatics ranting at parked cars. But in fairness, some do tend to get a bit over-excited from time to time.
By way of example, let’s check out a couple of the wilder-eyed nationalists who’ve been allowed out by the nurses to air their rage in public this week.
If you raise the slightest voice of dissent to the increasing fetishisation of the military in the UK these days, you risk drawing down a barrage of foul-mouthed ire on your head from furious British nationalists, inexplicably enraged at the expression of the desire not to send the sons, daughters, friends, fathers and mothers of Scotland off to die pointlessly in foreign countries where we have no legitimate business.
So it was nice to have our comments about the crass, jingoistic “commemoration” of last year’s Remembrance Day circus at Ibrox echoed this week by the joint chiefs of Scotland’s armed forces, who have ordered that the grotesque, “inappropriate” scenes will not be repeated in future. We hope the club’s fans, and others of the same mindset, will pay more attention when rebuked by such impeccable authorities than they ever would to the objections of evil traitorous cybernats like us.
We’ve got a bit of a dodgy Freeview picture this morning thanks to the weather, but we THINK this is what we just heard on the news from all the Tories (and others) who want the UK to leave the EU, but Scotland to stay in the UK.
We’re indebted to commenter “DougtheDug” on A Sair Fecht for spotting this one. On Tuesday in the House of Commons section 30 debate, Labour MP Ian Davidson bitterly attacked the Scottish Government for allegedly timing the independence referendum to coincide – at least to within six months – with the 700th anniversary of the Battle Of Bannockburn. (Ignoring the fact that the referendum would have happened years ago had it not been vigorously opposed and blocked by Labour.)
Davidson claimed that the timing amounted to “celebrating the murder of hundreds or thousands of English people“, and accused the SNP of exploiting anti-English sentiment for “partisan advantage”. It was a contemptible enough piece of dog-whistle politics in its own right, but all the more extraordinarily hypocritical in the light of this:
Lurking in the Westminster archives is an Early Day Motion from late 2003, in which Mr Davidson was happy to attach his name to a Parliamentary celebration – tabled by the Conservative MP for Romford, Andrew Rosindell – of what we presume we must call “the murder of hundreds or thousands of French and Spanish people”.
We must admit, we’re a little confused. Apparently openly and explicitly rejoicing at the historic deaths of enemy troops is fine if you’re a British nationalist, but disgusting, racist political chicanery if you’re a Scottish one (even when you’re not actually doing it). Can anyone point us at the rulebook for this sort of thing?
We hate to be banging on this drum again, but we can’t help asking: if these British nationalists had instead been Scottish nationalists, setting cars on fire and attacking policemen because they wanted the Saltire flown more often from public buildings, would the Scottish media be covering it in such a low-key, non-political way?
Alert readers will recall earlier this month, when the Herald reported that the “flag riots” still going on in Belfast were to spread to Scotland. The paper noted that:
“Demonstraters supporting the Loyalist Union flag dispute in Northern Ireland are turning their attention to Scotland’s independence referendum, with a protest planned against senior SNP figures next week. The protesters are planning to picket Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon’s constituency office on Glasgow’s south side a week on Saturday.
One demonstrator said the protest at Ms Sturgeon’s office was a “No to independence and to protect the Union”.”
The protests in question took place today, with a number of Wings Over Scotland’s intrepid citizen journalists (whose names we’re withholding for their own safety) braving the ever-present threat of British-nationalist violence to record the events for posterity.
J Robertson on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “How on earth does she think this constant media engagement after the only statement ( of 3 was it ?)…” May 31, 13:39
Mark Beggan on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Vivactive Inconsistency Pants! That will ensure a good nights sleep for the silent Churners.” May 31, 13:36
Mark Beggan on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““As long as it is harming no-one, it’s between consenting adults and it is not forced upon everyone else they…” May 31, 13:21
robertkknight on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “No need to wait, just cast your mind back by three weeks. Compare and contrast… 2021 Election Results SNP Constituency…” May 31, 13:20
Saffron Robe on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Do not say, “I did not do it,” when you know you have done wrong, for “ill-gotten gains have no…” May 31, 13:13
Confused on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “I sometimes see Brookmyre walking about; he is a local. “your books are shite” I banter in passing, listing a…” May 31, 12:56
Captain Caveman on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““Reading shite crime novels gives middle class pricks a vicarious dark streets of Scotland fix, whilst making them feel as…” May 31, 12:51
TURABDIN on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “SCOTS BORN could be around 100k mark as census returns may be conservative owing to family data withheld. Second &…” May 31, 12:50
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““I suspect those ‘customers’ who once supported the SNP in their many thousands have just silently abandoned it” I guess…” May 31, 12:44
Rob on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “I do not have a problem with gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transexuals or “queers” per se. As long as it is…” May 31, 12:24
findlay on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Could that be described as assisted suicide? However, as far as I know, it’s still a crime to lend assistance…” May 31, 12:20
TURABDIN on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “the ULTIMATE QUEER list, a few you might actually have heard of, https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/independent-pride-list-2026-lgbt-changemakers-alan-carr-b2981863.html Nae Nicola! Maybe next year hen, Next…” May 31, 12:18
Northcode on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Silent churn is a business term mostly used by sales and marketing professionals. The silent churn of unhappy customers is…” May 31, 12:15
Mark Beggan on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Story circulating that Alex Salmond paid £500 pounds out of his own pocket to cover a theft by Murrell many…” May 31, 12:12
Mark Beggan on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “It will be easier to get rid of queers from positions in civic society than it was to force them…” May 31, 11:55
David Lindsay on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “The Crown Prosecution Service will not be seeking the extradition of Kenneth Law, despite his 79 known victims in the…” May 31, 11:52
robertkknight on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “A glance to the right of this webpage displays just some of the ‘Jam Tomorrow’ front pages of that rag…” May 31, 11:51
Rob on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “It seems that the SNP have forgotten the original brief for the party, upon independence the party was supposed to…” May 31, 11:51
Rob on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Has she ever heard the saying, “when you are in a hole stop digging?” The whole story from her seems…” May 31, 11:43
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Smart, successful politicians should organise their own assassinations.” May 31, 11:42
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““I feel I’m being tried for a crime I didn’t commit” Un be fucking lievable. When is somebody gonna confront…” May 31, 11:39
findlay on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Sometimes life is just one steep learning curve, and I imagine she’s learning, just a little bit, about how she…” May 31, 11:36
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “There’s some 90,000 Scots already living in London, CC, making it the fifth most populous Scottish city in the UK,…” May 31, 11:27
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “I guess she’s not yet sweating, then. And these days, it’s Mr Mountbatten-Windsor. Leave your glengarry undoffed, willie!” May 31, 11:10
Owen Mullions on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““I feel I’m being tried for a crime I didn’t commit” wails a tearful Sturgeon. She doesn’t do irony doesn’t…” May 31, 11:08
Terry on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Ha ha. Well done You deserve a laugh and praise after your tireless pursuit of the truth. The whole of…” May 31, 11:04
Cynicus on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““ Sturgeon’s interview with Laura Kuenssberg will come to be seen alongside Prince Andrew’s interview with Emily Maitlis.” ========= Are…” May 31, 10:59
Captain Caveman on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Well, it would’ve been quite amusing if she had in fact chosen that most beautiful English city – the Roman…” May 31, 10:48