Tonight somebody’s sent us a copy of the SNP’s official Social Media Policy, which is exactly the sort of awful corporate wonk-drivel you’d probably expect it to be.
Our favourite part was this masterpiece of unrememberable gibberish in the vein of the Scottish Government’s hopeless “FACTS” slogan (honestly, without going and looking can you remember what ANY of the letters represent?) for the coronavirus :
And here’s a tweet from earlier today from a prospective SNP candidate:
We’re not sure which of the letters that conforms to.
Alert readers will have noticed by now that while we were at the dentist getting rid of all our excess money, the Fabiani inquiry has published Alex Salmond’s written evidence submission, ahead of his in-person appearance currently scheduled for next week.
We’re feeling a bit confused this morning, readers. Maybe someone can help.
Below is the key part of the letter sent by the Clerks of the Scottish Parliament, acting on behalf of the Fabiani committee, to the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) a week and a half ago, requesting material for their investigation into the Scottish Government’s botched handling of false allegations against Alex Salmond.
As we’d told you at the time, the request was a sham, designed to produce nothing of any value, because it carefully excluded the only person whose communications with Sue Ruddick were actually of relevance – SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
(Murrell being an employee of the party, NOT a member of the Scottish Government, a civil servant or a special adviser.)
Readers, we swear to you we are not making this up. What you’re about to read are genuine extracts from the SNP’s official new (probably illegal) Equalities Mechanism explanatory note, detailing what does and doesn’t count as a disability when it comes to jumping the queue for a regional list nomination.
And straight away it’s a real punch in the gut for firestarters, muggers, rapists, flashers and, in most cases, hay-fever sufferers. THIS BIGOTRY WILL NOT STAND.
Having never been part of a political party, an area where Wings lacks expertise is in understanding the nuts and bolts of their operation, and how a party’s rules can be used to usurp their members’ power. We’re delighted to have someone equipped to provide a valuable insight into how that’s happened to the SNP in the last two years.
The following line is still a definitive statement in the SNP constitution:
“National Conference is the supreme governing and policy-making body of the Party.”
But in practice it is no longer the case. The 2018 redraft of the constitution centralised power in the Leader and in the NEC. The party Leader has sole and total power over policy – both in the manifesto and in government – and the NEC has sole power over who represents the party and what they are allowed to say.
So in effect, since 2018 the party elite – not the membership – has ruled the SNP.
Something most people don’t know about the infamous Spanish Inquisition is that it was never the Catholic Church that actually executed heretics. Particularly if a prisoner had refused to confess their vile heresy even under torture, the Church instead handed them over to the “mercy” of the state to deliver their end.
So SNP MP Kirsty Blackman (or as we understand some are already calling her, “the Tiny Torquemada“) would have fitted right in with it.
Or more likely, they just wanted to try to bury all of their skeletons at once in a single giant avalanche of crookedness. But either way, enough is enough. Criminals accused of perjury don’t get to decide if they’ll answer for their lies or not.
The Fabiani committee has the power to compel witnesses to attend. They must now use that power without further delay, or they must call on the police to arrest the SNP’s chief executive immediately and drag him into an interview room by his ears if need be with a solicitor in attendance. (Doubtless also paid for by SNP members.)
Scotland is not GoodFellas. Nobody is above the law. Stop this damn rot now.
The reaction to it was absolutely explosive. Half of the Parliamentary SNP spent the whole night running around social media frantically firefighting their own members, who were absolutely furious about what they’d just discovered. Poisonous abuse from the party’s woke faction poured out like never before. We got called every kind of bigot under the sun by SNP officeholders.
(The article, of course, made no mention of any sort of bisexual people, Jewish people, trans people or women as a group, let alone actually being prejudiced against anyone. Ironically just about the only kind of prejudice that wasn’t alleged was ageism, possibly because it might have looked a smidge too ironic coming from a bunch of bedwetting children whose core ideological stance is that anyone over 29 is a Nazi.)
But there was one thing you DIDN’T read amid the torrents of hate.
You didn’t read anyone saying a single word of the post was untrue.
We don’t yet know what happened regarding the supposed definition of transphobia – our source thinks that it may have been postponed due to not being able to get the required 2/3 vote for an emergency agenda item.
But we know that something even madder DID happen.
william G Walker on The Land Of No Laws: “JAMBO of Hearts says that “there are only three inavoidable rules in life – death, taxes and the Scottish Football…” May 17, 23:01
sarah on The Land Of No Laws: “I’m happy with facts, Martin! Truth is essential in all things. I saw a graphic which was showing the leading…” May 17, 22:48
Young Lochinvar on The Land Of No Laws: “Lighten up folks! I reckon the “chaps” going for a Saturday afternoon stroll onto the pitch might perhaps be discouraged…” May 17, 22:29
Owen Mullions on The Land Of No Laws: “He didn’t cut it short though. There were 30 seconds left when Celtic scored and the clock doesn’t stop when…” May 17, 22:04
Red on The Land Of No Laws: “A scunner of a game. I don’t think Celtic FC realises how unpopular they’ve become with neutral Scots. The neddery…” May 17, 21:25
John from Fife on The Land Of No Laws: “PS. The SEA have apologised for hearts not being awarded a penalty against Motherwell. If the had been given it…” May 17, 20:44
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: “Yes, you are correct — Herman argues that the Scots invented the modern world, but, as you say, he also…” May 17, 20:42
Martin on The Land Of No Laws: “Except that isn’t true and it depends entirely on the remaining home or away fixtures owed. Celtic despite being top…” May 17, 20:21
Martin on The Land Of No Laws: “He didn’t cut it short. 45 minutes at a minimum were played both halves. Time added in added time is,…” May 17, 20:18
Martin on The Land Of No Laws: “2 seasons ago the added time directive from UEFA came out, concerned about how little ball on play time there…” May 17, 20:15
Martin on The Land Of No Laws: “Sorry Stu, but you’re wrong. The laws you quoted are for normal time. The clock doesn’t stop with goals and…” May 17, 20:03
Billy Carlin on The Land Of No Laws: “I am one of the massive majority who do not bother with Scottish football – only around 150,000 fans bother…” May 17, 19:55
Run the Border on The Land Of No Laws: “Thanks. Very good and spot on.” May 17, 19:53
Jamie on The Land Of No Laws: “You are right, whoever shouts the loudest gets the reward in Scotland, just ask all the Hearts fans last time…” May 17, 19:28
Lorncal on The Land Of No Laws: “Used to follow football, but not for years. However, I agree with the headline. We are, indeed, living in as…” May 17, 19:22
Socrates MacSporran on The Land Of No Laws: “If I can be pedantic Rev, in quoting SFA regulations you are aiming at the wrong target. The match was…” May 17, 19:13
Skip_NC on The Land Of No Laws: “Yes,I’ve read it. In fact it’s on the side table next to me right now. I disagree with your characterization…” May 17, 18:40
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Land Of No Laws: “Unlawfully. He has no power to cut the game short.” May 17, 18:31
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Land Of No Laws: “” I see you managed to forget Rangers 1972 “triumph” in the UCWC.” Well, yes, because I was fucking five…” May 17, 18:30
twathater on The Land Of No Laws: “100% with you on that Northy, ffs they are all poseurs who jist want tae hang on to each others…” May 17, 18:18
sam on The Land Of No Laws: “I asked “Search assist” this question: “In what ways can a country be a victim?” Here is the answer. “Ways…” May 17, 17:53
100%Yes on The Land Of No Laws: “What They Never Tell You About the Picts. It was very interesting just in case you fancy watching. youtube.com/watch?v=bzXRIEQumGE” May 17, 17:40
Iain Ross on The Land Of No Laws: “The fact that the last game ended as it did was a disgrace and Celtic should be penalised. However, for…” May 17, 17:09
Mark Beggan on The Land Of No Laws: “What’s worse reading the comments or writing about the comments? What with breast implants being so expensive these days. I…” May 17, 17:06
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: “Watching folk playing Tiddlywinks or Dominoes is more interesting than watching the fitba. Painting the dots onto dominoes tiles and…” May 17, 16:49
sarah on The Land Of No Laws: “An added “oddity” to ponder. 99.9999999 times out of 100, the top team play the last game of the season…” May 17, 16:18
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: ““Have you actually read that book?” Yes, have you? Because if you have you don’t appear to have grasped Herman’s…” May 17, 16:17
Skip_NC on The Land Of No Laws: “You should be right and back in the days when we were operating under the laws written by Stanley Rous…” May 17, 16:10
Northcode on The Land Of No Laws: ““I think having your whole worldview based on the fundamental belief Scotland is a ‘victim’ is profoundly counterproductive… ” Not…” May 17, 15:50