When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
Having solved cat hunger in Greece, the tireless Holiday Boy has now turned his hand to addressing Scotland’s crippling golfing shortage, so we’ve got a different sort of cartoon again for you this weekend.
The clip below is from a 1981 arcade videogame called Venture, by Exidy, in which you play a cheerful character called Winky on a mission to loot treasure from a series of monster-infested dungeons.
For the purposes of this article the treasure in the room above, which takes the form of a castle tower, represents Scottish politics. The room itself is the Union.
The SNP released their general election manifesto today. We’re not going to link you to it, because we don’t want to be responsible for wasting your time. This is everything it has to say on the party’s (cough) strategy for achieving independence.
It deserves much, much less respect than we’re giving it. Tomorrow, ice lolly reviews.
I’m a professional community organiser, and a tenant and housing activist for some 20 years. I saw the old Scottish Tenants Organisation get smashed by Jack McConnell’s government to make way for council housing privatisation, which in Glasgow created the Glasgow Housing Association.
I’ve long wanted to rebuild a national body to give housing schemes a political voice and to push to end the housing crisis. That’s why I got involved with Living Rent, organising my community to become their first branch. Little did I know that would lead to a brush with crazed gender ideology, and see Queer Theory used to try to destroy it.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Holiday Boy has of course chosen the general election campaign to spend the next three weeks feeding stray cats somewhere sunny, so here’s a cartoon by the brilliant webcomicname that summarises the Baillie Gifford story for anyone joining us late.
January 2018, with no general election due for four and a half years: “I very rarely talk about Scottish independence in the chamber, because I talk about things that matter”
June 2024, with an election in four weeks and a £91,346 salary, expenses and pension at stake: “ROBERT THE BRUCE! BANNOCKBURN! DECLARATION OF ARBROATH! FLOWER OF SCOTLAND! FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMM!”
Captain Caveman on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Hey Fatso, you don’t even have a mind, pal – open or otherwise! Sheesh, bloody cheek honestly. 😀” Sep 24, 13:34
TURABDIN on Cowering From Destiny: “Centralization by sleight of hand boundary reordering. Autonomy max regions for example, from which a geologically diverse country might benefit….never…” Sep 24, 13:31
sam on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Northcode Procedurally blocked. For now. Change is possible, even likely. Scotland does meet those three criteria. Everyone knows Scotland is…” Sep 24, 13:28
Hatey McHateface on Cowering From Destiny: “Just 6 weeks to save the NHS is it?” Sep 24, 13:26
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Ah, c’moan noo, CC. It’s simply that Northy’s terrified the UN is going to declare Scotland Independent before Christmas, and…” Sep 24, 13:24
Alf Baird on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: ““An NSGT cannot be geographically contiguous to its administering state.” Quite a few were/are, actually, including in Asia and Africa.…” Sep 24, 13:22
James on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: ““It’s called having an open mind, you should try it.” And how would you know, exactly, chummy?” Sep 24, 13:21
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “If you want to consider the ME you need to consider the events of the 7th century AD. Then, of…” Sep 24, 13:18
Mark Beggan on Cowering From Destiny: “You haven’t heard the stinky pinky joke then.” Sep 24, 13:18
Captain Caveman on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “People are allowed to change their minds without your permission, Dan. It’s called having an open mind, you should try…” Sep 24, 13:01
Hatey McHateface on Cowering From Destiny: “The Teletubbies? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen or heard a joke about them.” Sep 24, 13:00
Dan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Aye, NC seems to have had a coding change in what it churns out. Compare now to a comment trail…” Sep 24, 12:50
Captain Caveman on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Thanks as ever for your erudite, “sophiticated” contribution, Confused. Brought to you by Evo-Stik and an odd fascination with slow-cooked…” Sep 24, 12:50
Aidan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “@Sam – under limb one, the geographic separation requirement must include separation by sea. An NSGT cannot be geographically contiguous…” Sep 24, 12:48
Northcode on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Resolution 1541’s criteria only apply to territories that were reported to the UN in 1946 as colonies, protectorates, or overseas…” Sep 24, 12:41
Mark Beggan on Cowering From Destiny: “No talent. No money. No plan. No grassroots support. What could possibly go wrong?” Sep 24, 12:41
Confused on Cowering From Destiny: “nige won’t be PM now since he pissed off the wrong people; the people you can’t make jokes about” Sep 24, 12:28
Confused on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “NC is in mystification mode; the UN is a useful tactic, which may draw blood – the anglos are raging…” Sep 24, 12:27
Effijy on Cowering From Destiny: “A very valid point. I would enjoy watching a stand alone England ruled by Trump style absurdity and corruption but…” Sep 24, 12:15
sam on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Northcode, New post by Rev so you may not see this. Criteria of Colonial Status Resolution 1541 sets three objective…” Sep 24, 12:14
Willie on Cowering From Destiny: “No need big John has just announced that he wants to create six supra regional supra authorities. Like the NHS…” Sep 24, 12:02
Willie on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Critically important to engage in the international environment and Sarah Salyers is certainly doing that. And let us not forget…” Sep 24, 11:43
Captain Caveman on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: ““The emotional force comes from grievance, destiny, and moral urgency; the procedural reality is left untouched.” In a nutshell -…” Sep 24, 11:43
Northcode on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “I watched Sara Salyers’ speech from Tuesday’s UN Geneva side-event – to which Fearghas provided a link – and here…” Sep 24, 10:58
Minceheid on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Hatey McHateface says: 24 September, 2026 at 9:28 am Best go to SpecSavers MH. Any “quine” quoting Samuel L Jackson…” Sep 24, 10:16
Aidan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Oh look everyone “James” is back. Managed to persuade them to turn your internet back on?” Sep 24, 10:15
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “I personally know folk who have built their house from bales of straw. They think it’s great. So do I.…” Sep 24, 10:11
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “I’m confident Rev Stu can defend himself against my insults. If you get right back to basics, the fundamental fact…” Sep 24, 10:07
TURABDIN on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Countries & peoples may be destroyed through invasion and occupation but the most effective method is to offer those countries…” Sep 24, 10:03
TURABDIN on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Countries & peoples may be destroyed through invasion and occupation but the most effective method is to offer those countries…” Sep 24, 10:03
