Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
Earlier this morning an alert reader directed us to an article in the Daily Express which seemed to make an eye-catchingly remarkable claim. It turned out to be one actually made by Ruth Davidson on Saturday (which had already been reported in the Express that day), when she appeared on Iain Dale’s radio show on LBC.
A 27% swing? From the SNP to the Tories? Putting the Tories AHEAD in the polls? That would be such a stupendously Earth-shattering development in Scottish politics that you’d think the media would have made more of it than a couple of mentions in an embarrassing low-circulation comic like the Express.
Scottish schoolchildren start their exams today. We wish them good luck, because if any of them have taken their lead in language skills from the nation’s media they’re going to be in a lot of trouble.
For 10% of extra course credit, let’s find out why.
We had to rub our eyes when we got up this morning, because we thought we must have opened the wrong issue of the Times tablet app by mistake – the lead Scotland story seemed to be a reprint of a piece from the previous day’s Sunday Times.
We greatly enjoyed Any Questions on Radio 4 this week. Well chaired by Jonathan Dimbleby, it was a mostly grown-up and adult discussion of issues around nationalism and independence, perhaps assisted by the fact that – we gather – Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale was unable to take part and was replaced as a Labour representative by Lord Falconer, who offered some considered and intelligent views.
The only slight wasp in the ointment was Tory list MSP Adam Tomkins, who delivered his usual boorish, patrician and arrogant debating style, which was frequently met with boos, jeers and catcalls from a feisty Blantyre audience. But he did come out with one rather unexpected and off-message policy position.
This appears to be a genuine question from a YouGov poll going out to selected areas of the country today. We’ve had a couple of people confirm it to us who we have no reason to disbelieve. (It also asked this.)
The particular political arrangement it’s testing the waters of public opinion on there is fascist dictatorship. God help us all.
Mark Beggan on Push The Button: “I think this question could have been made a lot easier if there was just one button saying: Do Not…” Apr 27, 17:35
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “Yeah…. as opposed to you randomly spouting “Prick” in response to posts, eh Fatso. I’m sure we’re all in awe…” Apr 27, 17:31
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “@Aidan Relax. They’d deploy the F16s. They’d never get aff the groond!” Apr 27, 16:31
James on Push The Button: “The comments section on Wings is poor with the repetive, accumulated shite from the likes of Chas, Adrian, Wilma Flintstone…” Apr 27, 16:28
James Che on Push The Button: “Now we know that the UN is not independent as it claims to be, and it will never be allowed…” Apr 27, 16:23
James Che on Push The Button: “Not a rational thinker I note, having difficulties achieving thinking links that join a to b and b to c,…” Apr 27, 16:03
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““There’s no objective evidence that being alive is better than being dead” I believe the Romans had a saying that…” Apr 27, 16:00
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “Occam’s Razor says it’s because Independence is but a matter of weeks or months away at most. 7th May. That’s…” Apr 27, 15:53
Athanasius on Push The Button: “You accept it as a foundational assumption. There’s no objective evidence that being alive is better than being dead, but…” Apr 27, 15:20
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““Socialist Norway is one of the richest countries in Europe and regularly voted one of the best countries in the…” Apr 27, 15:19
Chas on Push The Button: “The comments section on Wings is poor with the repetive, accumulated shite from the likes of Northclown, Baird, Confusused etc…” Apr 27, 15:15
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““This is not a black and white dilemma” No, it’s a red and blue dilemma. That means there’s a great…” Apr 27, 14:22
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “There are more Scots with their hands out grifting than there are with their hands dirty, grafting. But then you…” Apr 27, 14:12
James Che on Push The Button: “North code, There are an awful lot of leaders and politicians of all ilks in Scotland that never mention this…” Apr 27, 14:02
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““reality is that a people brutally oppressed by an invading alien power are forced to live under the illusion that…” Apr 27, 13:52
Lorncal on Push The Button: “Agreed, Southern. Primo Levi (Italian Jew and author, etc.) experienced just this situation in the camps of WW II. He…” Apr 27, 13:52
James Che on Push The Button: “North code, At which point do you ask the question of the questioner which pill did you take prior to…” Apr 27, 13:41
Lorncal on Push The Button: “It’s called ‘suicidal empathy’ and is not at all like normal empathy, Calum, and it plagues the West right now.…” Apr 27, 13:39
Northcode on Push The Button: “Are the Scots living in a movie? Arnold Schwarzenegger did it first back in 1990. It would take another nine…” Apr 27, 11:55
Alf Baird on Push The Button: ““an absolutely callous vicious and utter hatred for the natives” Of course, being colonised, us Scots are already subject to…” Apr 27, 11:17
Cynicus on Push The Button: “I am kinder than our host who does not mess around eviscerating you with probabilistic logic. I am open to…” Apr 27, 11:00
James Che on Push The Button: “First option-Red or blue button. Third option suicide by sticking a name tag on yourself and country. Forth option,- accepting…” Apr 27, 10:53
James Che on Push The Button: “The two red and blue button options are wether the populations want supposed governing bodies to do it for them…” Apr 27, 10:11
James Che on Push The Button: “Lornical explained Scotlands situation and its people very well on the 25th of April with remarks on subject of rational…” Apr 27, 09:27
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “Well, well. I read the question through twice, to ensure I understood it, then I chose Blue. Seemed bloody obvious…” Apr 27, 08:51
Chas on Push The Button: “What a load of shite…………. as usual.” Apr 27, 08:44
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “*(Sorry, lots of annoying autocorrect gibberish there, but you get the gist)” Apr 27, 08:27
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “I totally see your logic, but as human beings the situation is surely more nuanced? Speaking for myself, I simply…” Apr 27, 08:15
Angus on Push The Button: “Being a Rev., I am surprised it does not bother your conscience to vote red, given that a red majority…” Apr 27, 03:09
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Push The Button: “Man, these comments are a real disappointment.” Apr 27, 02:02