This is Spectator columnist Alex Massie reacting earlier this week to the news of Alex Salmond doing a show for Russian news channel RT.
Alex Salmond is these days a private individual with no responsibilities to anyone, and RT is a legal, Ofcom-licenced UK broadcaster whose output is beamed free into every home in the land.
The first episode of The Alex Salmond Show featured guests from both Labour and the Tories, opened with lengthy discussion and advocation of women’s and LGBT rights, followed by a 15-minute interview with deposed Catalan president Carles Puigdemont – something which has proven beyond the capabilities of mainstream UK news outlets despite the remarkable events currently engulfing an EU member state.
(BBC Scotland, we should perhaps note at this point, does not currently carry a single dedicated political TV show from a Scottish perspective at all and hasn’t done for more than a year.)
Massie used some slightly more measured language when it came to writing about the show in the Spectator, merely describing Salmond as an “idiot”, a “fool”, a “chump”, “pitiful”, “embarrassing” and “disgraceful”. But when it came to another former Scottish party leader, he was for some reason in a rather more forgiving mood.
We’ll be honest, readers – if this doesn’t make you want to leave the UK all by itself, it may be that there’s nothing that ever will and we should just give up.
(Alternative titles considered for this piece included Live And Please Let Die, Doctor Oh God No, The Barely-Living Daylights and Quantum Of Bollocks.)
This documentary starts a little slowly, but becomes an eye-opening case study of how Labour steamrollered through crippling PFI contracts to build public infrastructure on the never-never when they ran the Scottish Executive from 1999-2007.
Since David Torrance shows no sign of being willing to retract the falsehood below that he tweeted earlier today despite our requests, we’ll have to address it here. Apologies for the indulgence.
We can find nowhere that we made any allegation of Torrance being “paid” by RT. We tweeted that he’d “worked for”them, and said he’d “simply appeared on” the channel. Neither of those statements claims that any money changed hands. If Torrance says that he worked for RT for nothing purely in order to get some free publicity for his book, we’re happy to accept that at face value.
(Although we’re not sure if that makes it better or worse, to be honest.)
Yesterday’s Daily Record (which would increasingly be an accurate three-word name for the paper) ran an innocuous piece of page-filler fluff rubbish, and for once we’re not talking about a David Torrance column.
It featured the “psychic” predictions of a man who, the Record told us – no fewer than FIVE times in the opening few lines – previously predicted Donald Trump’s victory in the US presidential election, and who had a track record of “incredible accuracy”.
Mainstream and social media alike are now well into their second day of an absolutely epic meltdown at the news that Alex Salmond is to broadcast a chat show on RT, the Russian equivalent of the BBC.
It really is almost impossible to overstate the magnitude of the shrieking fit the decision has produced. Addled old Lords with criminal convictions for violently and drunkenly assaulting Her Majesty’s police have with an audacious lack of self-awareness decried the immorality of one of HM’s advisors going on TV to talk about stuff, and one Lib Dem MSP has even gone so far as to raise a Holyrood motion demanding that the state interferes with the lawful employment choices of a private citizen.
We imagine that RT will be beside itself with joy at the avalanche of publicity the UK press and political sphere is giving it. We’d be amazed if the hysterical brouhaha didn’t double or treble the audience figures that Salmond could otherwise have expected.
Today’s Cairnstoon will be along a little later. But in the meantime, if you’re anywhere in the vicinity of Glasgow (or if you’re not, but hurry), today offers a rare opportunity go along and physically touch the magical drawing fingers of the artist himself, as Mr Cairns takes time out from his busy schedule of holidays to launch the second volume of his splendid sketchings, alongside other beloved Wings contributors Greg Moodie and the esteemed Wee Ginger Dug (plus his human butler Paul Kavanagh).
(Please note that Mr Cairns is currently carrying a rather painful spinal injury probably incurred during an an overenthusiastic golf swing, so we respectfully ask any readers who may be planning particularly expressive bearhugs or backslaps to ca’ canny.)
Wings Over Scotland turned six years old this week (on Tuesday, to be precise). We didn’t make any fuss or hoopla because we didn’t have anything particularly interesting to say about it, although we may as well note in passing that average monthly unique readership for 2017 to date has been 316,015 – that’s 24,000 up on the same period in 2016 and 16,000 higher than January-October 2015, despite this being the dullest year in Scottish politics since the site began.
But it’s just been brought to our attention that on our birthday the Scottish Government happened to publish its response to an FOI request from a notoriously mad and creepy Yoon troll who’s been repeatedly banned by Twitter but keeps coming back with new accounts. We thought you’d be modestly amused by it, because the Yoons are raging.
It’s been a difficult few months for a variety of reasons (although some of the technical aspects of that should improve in about a week’s time), but we’ll keep on keeping on.
It is with the heaviest of hearts, readers, that we must report to you that Gordon Brown has done an intervention again.
With a new book to sell, the purposeless former Chancellor and Prime Minister who led the UK into a catastrophic financial crisis that’s now entering its second decade has put on his hindsight goggles and made a whole series of bewildering proclamations after the event, which have – naturally – been dutifully received and repeated by the fawning Scottish press like God handing down the Ten Commandments to Moses.
Insider on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Breastplate @12:18 No amount of bluster and attempted diversions on your part can disguise your comprehension problems or the fact…” Mar 25, 13:48
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Endlessly recounting Scotland’s ancient constitutional past will not persuade those unpersuaded Scots who support the Union to change their minds.…” Mar 25, 13:37
Captain Caveman on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““Are you dumb? Yer literally posting on an Independence blog” Heh!! Just when you think the irony-o-meter can’t be overloaded,…” Mar 25, 13:21
Dan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Civic nationalism was never going to work in Scotland, because Hondas rust like fuck at the best of times; And…” Mar 25, 12:55
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I’m going to keep reminding you yoons what site yer actually posting on. Not only is it rude but it’s…” Mar 25, 12:32
Dan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Damn it! Pity we’ve got the wrong sort of leccy up here… “The Grid cannae cope”… But Scotland is generating…” Mar 25, 12:27
Breastplate on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Insider, I think there’s a bit of projection on your part, as you clearly have no idea what I’m talking…” Mar 25, 12:18
Confused on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “blowing up ambulances is wrong – wherever it happens … https://archive.ph/M0H5A (who does this a LOT? and who started it?)…” Mar 25, 12:14
Confused on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “assimilation? integration?? civic nationalism? https://x.com/RMXnews/status/2036058154530676736 – how’s that working out? and how can it work with : people who actively…” Mar 25, 12:12
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Are you dumb? Yer literally posting on an Independence blog that not only posted thousands of articles debunking yoons pish…” Mar 25, 11:56
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Why do scottish council or the rest of Britain for that matter pay Council tax, The council tax follows your…” Mar 25, 11:36
Insider on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Breastplate…. You appear to have SERIOUS comprehension problems ! Chas’s comment was.. “nobody ever says who will form an honest,…” Mar 25, 11:23
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Why not change the subject indeed, Why does Scotland pay The Standard Great Britain annual income tax, And Scotland pay…” Mar 25, 11:17
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “North code, I know of many other issues and topics that relate to the people in general, however there is…” Mar 25, 11:11
Breastplate on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Chas, I understand that you find the concept of independence difficult so let’s come at it from another angle. If…” Mar 25, 10:49
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “There are many ways to suck the finances out of Scotlands people. False Elections, Different added on income tax’s, Mineral…” Mar 25, 10:35
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Oh, do shut up, you Inglis bore. Why are you even posting your Anglo-drivel here? The only comments I’ve ever…” Mar 25, 10:23
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “What if our roles were reversed and it were England governed entirely by Scotland and the Scots and not the…” Mar 25, 10:18
Chas on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The first sensible comment from you that I have ever seen. Well done.” Mar 25, 10:00
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “A word of advice, and I’m sorry to have to say this, James Che, but even I, a staunch supporter…” Mar 25, 09:30
Chas on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I worry about the mental health of the nutters who post the same tripe day, after day, after day on…” Mar 25, 09:15
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Scottish people pay the standard income tax as the rest of Great Britain, however they also have added on Scottish…” Mar 25, 09:13
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Scotland is not in the parliament of Great Britain. Scotland is not in the parliament of the United kingdom. Only…” Mar 25, 09:01
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Why vote? To continue Colonialism, to hold and de- value democracy in Scotland. These are not actually Scottish elections.” Mar 25, 08:40
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Scotland is not bound to the 1707 parliament of Great Britain, Scotland is not bound to the united kingdom parliament…” Mar 25, 08:35
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The pretend Scottish parliament and its false Scottish elections with Englands registered political parties are irrelevant to people in Scotland,…” Mar 25, 08:23
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The Bigger PICTure Scotland is lost… lost to a stupid, vicious and invasive foreign power. A power smaller in wit,…” Mar 25, 08:19
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Colonialism only occurs in Scotland due to Scottish people thinking they are or very briefly were in a treaty of…” Mar 25, 08:09
Dan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “@Aidan A quick search suggests only about 4% of folk in Scotland earn the 100k figure you band about so…” Mar 25, 07:53
