You’re going to need to before you watch today’s episode of The Jeremy Vine Show, featuring Paul Burrell (who used to be a royal butler about 20 years ago and somehow is now a political commentator), Nicola McLean (who used to get her surgically-altered breasts out for tabloid newspapers around the same time and then went on a reality show for halfwits with no actual talents), and Carole Malone, who we assume is some sort of live public-safety-information warning about the dangers of overdoing HRT.
Vine watches the unfolding horror with the expression of a man absolutely convinced he’s going to be murdered the next time he comes to Scotland. The most painful part is probably just after (Scottish) co-host and former weathergirl Storm Huntley (no, really) helpfully pipes up to suggest “shortbread, tartan… bagpipes” as Scotland’s economic foundations, at which point Jeremy turns in last-ditch desperation to the audience to save him from this slow-motion trainwreck and… well, you’ll see how that goes.
When the second indyref comes along, whenever the Yes campaign has a political broadcast slot on TV, we suggest just putting this on every time.
As Ofcom require any complaints about the BBC to be directed to the Corporation first, I’ve sent the BBC the letter below today (by physical mail, as the online complaint form is comically inadequate), which I expect to be a waste of time and energy. If I don’t receive a satisfactory response – and I’m sure that I won’t – I’ll take it up with Ofcom.
Right then. Our 2019 crowdfunder is officially over (the page is actually still live at the moment because several readers have asked it be kept open until the weekend so they can make their own donations, but it’ll be finally closed down on Sunday night).
And good heavens.
The main page alone narrowly beat last year’s all-sources total (ie including donations made via other routes like direct bank transfers) by nearly £600, and the actual final figure for 2019 [EDIT: updated 24 June] is, jawdroppingly, this much:
A crude clip of this segment from Shelagh Fogarty’s LBC show yesterday is doing the rounds on Twitter at the moment, and it deserves both better audiovisual quality and a wider audience. If features Regan Morann, a rather confused Tory from Scotland who has quite an opinion of himself.
An incredulous Fogarty, speaking for just about everyone listening to the show, asks “Where’s your self-respect?” as Morann burbles about debasing himself desperately in front of his English colleagues who don’t want him or care about him, and his eventual answer was enlightening, in a tragic kind of way.
The UK’s political commentariat is afire with shock today over a new poll.
The poll showed that Tory members would by margins of around 2:1 willingly sacrifice Scotland and Northern Ireland – along with the UK economy and their own party – to make sure Brexit happened. Which is all very interesting, unless you read Wings in which case you knew it a year ago.
You could actually weep for some of the people in our country.
But the point Yes supporters understand and Unionists don’t is that it’s everything to do with the question – because “who is or might be Prime Minister, or which party is in government” is never our choice. It’s the choice of England, Wales, Northern Ireland, and Scotland together. One of those countries outnumbers the others by 8 to 1.
More than that, it isn’t just who is Prime Minister now, or who may be in the future – it’s every single Prime Minister in my 35 years of existence on this planet.
Our 2019 crowdfunder now has just 24 hours to go, and to be honest it’s exceeded our wildest expectations. Despite the moribund state of Scottish politics over the last two years we’re currently around £3200 beyond the previous all-time record, and that’s just phenomenal. You never stop taking our breath away, folks.
But we’re going to rattle the tin one last time by repeating something we said last year.
sam on Irony you can’t buy: “Yes, Andy. The majority of people in Ireland (south of border), around 66% favour reunification. Their wishes are likely to…” Mar 22, 14:48
James Barr Gardner on Irony you can’t buy: ““Scotland is entirely FREE to leave only if its granted by the PM @ Westminster”. That being the case London…” Mar 22, 14:40
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “What we need is a revolution & a spot of regime change. Forget Ayatollahs – we’ve got the fckn parasitic…” Mar 22, 14:24
Confused on Irony you can’t buy: “why? https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/21/drilling-north-sea-answer-energy-crisis/ – surely the city, being the engine of wealth creation, can solve all problems via the free market…” Mar 22, 13:05
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “Mark Beggan @ 09.49. Twinkle, Twinkle, little star. I don’t wonder what you are. I surmised your spot in space…” Mar 22, 12:14
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “Could Sturgeon be a plagiarist? The quote “If everything is a scandal, nothing is.” is attributed to Mary Anne MacLeod…” Mar 22, 12:04
Andy Ellis on Irony you can’t buy: “even if NI wanted a border poll it down to the PM granting it even though its state they can…” Mar 22, 11:57
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “Professor Aileen Mcharg is English and a unionist (colonist if preferred… same thing)… so not much point in listening to…” Mar 22, 11:38
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “George Galloway, maybe the only person to show the Labour supporters who want Independence that voting for the SNP is…” Mar 22, 11:34
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “Aidan, I couldn’t post to you above as there was no reply option. Reading between the lines the SNP leadership/SG…” Mar 22, 11:20
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “And when the Lefty’s were thrown down into hell. They cried! ” Lord forgive us we didny Ken” And the…” Mar 22, 10:56
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““William George Walker (SNP politician) A case was brought against Walker and was heard at Edinburgh Sheriff Court on nine…” Mar 22, 10:56
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: ““So Scotland Independence hopes within the UK system is dead…” Such hopes were never alive, such hopes were never real,…” Mar 22, 10:48
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “That is wrong. Scotland is a sovereign nation & there were preconditions before the Act of Union ever took place.…” Mar 22, 10:35
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: “Scottish Oath Taken: King Charles III took the statutory oath to uphold the Presbyterian Church of Scotland at the inaugural…” Mar 22, 10:29
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Instead of watching baby Trump maybe you should educate yourself. Iraq had emptied its war chest being a proxy for…” Mar 22, 10:24
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “An alien spacecraft from another world did not crash land in America’s Area 51. The Illuminati is not a sinister…” Mar 22, 10:08
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “Blue blue windows behind the stars. Yellow moon on the rise. Big Missiles flying across the sky. Throwing shadows on…” Mar 22, 09:49
Aidan on Irony you can’t buy: “You’re right 100% Yes – the only route to Scottish independence within the UK’s legal system is for an act…” Mar 22, 09:36
Cynicus on Irony you can’t buy: “sam says: 22 March, 2026 at 7:46 am “Ye cannae spell. Loser” ========== How do you know that?” Mar 22, 08:43
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “What surprised me was the audience actually clapping Professor Aileen Mcharg, when she was stating clearly that Scotland had no…” Mar 22, 08:40
twathater on Irony you can’t buy: “Geri, Joanna is another one who sat on her arse and said fuck all about what was going on under…” Mar 22, 03:30
twathater on Irony you can’t buy: ““Thatcher was a necessary evil, presumably you didnt live in pre-Thatcher times” There speaks a good old tory with his…” Mar 22, 03:18
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “That comment. Or was it a rant. No one knows. I never read it but it proves that AI is…” Mar 21, 23:16
robertkknight on Irony you can’t buy: “Truth is to Sturgeon what intelligence is to Trump.” Mar 21, 22:55
William G Walker on Irony you can’t buy: “Does Nicola Sturgeon Tell “Frankly” Fibs About Three Political “Casualties”? I have now read Nicola Sturgeon’s Memoir, “Frankly”, and am…” Mar 21, 22:45
willie on Irony you can’t buy: “Bad management got bad unions. Two cheeks of the same arse. A bit like saying free enterprise good, state ownership…” Mar 21, 21:56