Humza Yousaf is played here by Morgan Freeman, the big plane carrying the bomb is the independence movement and Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer are in the chopper.
At least, we assume there was a sizeable current being passed through it, as little else could explain the visibly uncomfortable half-hour experienced by hapless Stonewall chair Iain Anderson with Beth Rigby last night, or the seemingly random changes every few seconds in his facial expressions, body language and accent.
(Just about the only constant, other than his sweating top lip, was the deeply irritating modern phenomenon of stupid people starting every sentence with the word “So…”.)
If you’re a connoisseur of vacuous, nervous awkwardness you’re in for a real treat. If you want to see a human being actually answering any questions with even the tiniest shred of coherence, pertinence or honesty, maybe give it a miss.
It is our solemn duty to inform readers that deranged, shovel-handed Scottish Greens member and known associate of rapists and paedophiles Scott “Heather” Herbert has taken the hump at a Wings article from yesterday in which he was satirically featured.
He filed a malicious false copyright claim with YouTube which resulted in a silent video clip from the article showcasing his comically gigantic man-hands being scheduled for deletion, despite Herbert owning no copyright in the video (it’s the property of TalkTV, who have raised no objections to it) and having no legal standing to file any complaint.
But YouTube’s abysmal automated structures operate on the basis that all complaints are intrinsically valid, and allow absolutely no way for Wings to appeal this decision.
He popped up on Talk TV last night, explaining how a middle-aged man twerking at a number of very young children – some of whom seemed visibly distressed – during a recent Pride march was fine because maybe the children had asked him to (which they manifestly hadn’t), and anyway it was their parents’ fault that it happened.
And, y’know, readers can make their own judgements about that.
Tuesday’s front page headline in The National was roughly the political equivalent of introducing yourself to your new next-door neighbour by saying “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Jimmy from No.22 and it definitely wasn’t me who killed your cat last night”.
Humza Yousaf’s great masterplan of an independence strategy is imploding faster than the OceanGate Titan, and scarcely any less disastrously. And unless you’re one of the colleagues, family or friends of the tragic victims on board the doomed vessel, it’s even more painful to watch.
Still wondering what Humza Yousaf’s going to say to the SNP’s pretend “conference” on independence strategy this coming Saturday? Well, wonder no longer, because this morning he told Sky News.
In other words, he’s waving the white flag and praying for a miracle.
According to SNP President and acting CEO Mike Russell, SNP members are too thick to understand the concept of changing their vote, and integrity is “disruptive”.
We’re not very clear on why a revote would be susceptible to “hacking” in any way that the original vote isn’t, but we’re sure there’s a great explanation.
Al McBrian on A short treatise on stalking: “I lived in England on and off for many years and was never once described by anyone as an immigrant.” Jan 22, 08:43
diabloandco on A short treatise on stalking: “Yep, he was once my go to for statistics and polling – not now.” Jan 22, 07:58
Hatey McHateface on The Great Hollowing: “Andrew Liddle writing in Unherd on the possibility of an SNP-Labour governing coalition in HR after the 2026 election: “the…” Jan 22, 07:52
Hatey McHateface on The Great Hollowing: “A back-room group will already be working on the most acceptable way to combine the “Will For Independence” process with…” Jan 22, 07:41
Hatey McHateface on A short treatise on stalking: “Here’s another one: On Wings BTL, it is widely assumed that gregor is the sole reader of his own posts.” Jan 22, 07:07
Jeannie McCrimmon on A short treatise on stalking: “Sit doon Mr Kelly is a personal Holyrood favourite.” Jan 22, 04:57
Young Lochinvar on The Great Hollowing: “Ah well, who knows, give him a break. As we used to joke asking the local Germans back in the…” Jan 22, 01:59
Skip_NC on A short treatise on stalking: “In this context, “tortured sole” is correct. James Kelly is like a fish out of water.” Jan 22, 01:50
Young Lochinvar on The Great Hollowing: “Still waiting for a meaningful factual reply yoon (or is it scum!). Heck I don’t know but you sound well…” Jan 22, 01:45
Skip_NC on A short treatise on stalking: “Alba is doing something. It’s just that the media don’t talk about it.” Jan 22, 01:43
gregor on The Great Hollowing: “BBC (2025): Gray apologises over football match meetings: “Health Secretary Neil Gray has apologised for “inadvertently” misleading MSPs over the…” Jan 22, 01:37
gregor on A short treatise on stalking: “Olde Throne: Greyfriars Kirkyard: “Oh, Greyfriars Where the Covenanters lay Ceased by the black judge Cut down by his hand…” Jan 22, 00:55
gregor on The Great Hollowing: “Funnily enough – same could be said for J.K. Rowling (et al)… https://x.com/elonmusk/status/1881728397598175645” Jan 22, 00:06
Confused on The same old tricks: “another classic from the archive” Jan 21, 23:50
gregor on A short treatise on stalking: “If you insist, McFetish… “The sole of your foot or of a shoe or sock is the underneath surface of…” Jan 21, 23:50
Confused on A short treatise on stalking: “main cavorts with satan and a black cat under moonlight in greyfriars a heretic by any measure” Jan 21, 23:42
yoon scum on A short treatise on stalking: “One thing that has always un-settled me about a very large part of the YES movement is the rage that…” Jan 21, 23:33
yoon scum on A short treatise on stalking: “Don’t forget not one single YOON has ever had a job a “fact” I have been told by a good…” Jan 21, 23:20
gregor on The Great Hollowing: “The Fraud (2025): How will bequests have helped the SNP’s finances by millions: “The SNP have received millions in will…” Jan 21, 23:10
Hatey McHateface on The same old tricks: “Your remedy is obvious, Confused. Scorn the accumulation of all stuff. Then you can enjoy the last laugh. BTW, if…” Jan 21, 23:07
Hatey McHateface on A short treatise on stalking: “It’s a complex subject and there are lots of nuances that could be discussed, on a forum that had the…” Jan 21, 23:01
Martin on A short treatise on stalking: “The two Davies will think his return to the SNP is big big news and will welcome him into team…” Jan 21, 22:46
Confused on The same old tricks: “this is the enemy he wants to steal your stuff expects you to be grateful about it fart in your…” Jan 21, 22:45
Confused on The same old tricks: “This is why the UN needs to be involved; they know all the tricks and won’t stand for them. If…” Jan 21, 22:44
sarah on A short treatise on stalking: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat. As someone who dislikes living the lie of a Union which…” Jan 21, 22:38
Hatey McHateface on A short treatise on stalking: ““hee haw else to write about” On the sites I read, they’re publicising that President Trump has announced to the…” Jan 21, 22:35
Northman on A short treatise on stalking: “I assume that is partly because sensible posts don’t rile people up. People nod their heads and read on. We…” Jan 21, 22:34
Scot Finlayson on A short treatise on stalking: “The 2022 census found that of the 514,543 people residing in Edinburgh, 47.9% identified with a Scottish identity.” Jan 21, 22:32
Insider on A short treatise on stalking: ““Salvo, as the campaigning group for Liberation.scot, have formed a Scottish People’s Liberation Movement”. ? Is this a Monty Python…” Jan 21, 22:31