Readers familiar with our standing advice to newspaper customers that the headline is nearly always a lie might like to consider today’s Press & Journal.
The word “pyre” comes from the Greek word “pyra”, meaning “fire”. Surprisingly, it’s NOT the same root as “Pyrrhic”, as in “Pyrrhic victory”, meaning one that’s achieved by metaphorically burning your own city down. (Which in fact is named after the Greek general Pyrrhus of Epirus.)
The Sunday Herald ran an extraordinary article on page 2 yesterday, and by the time we’d finished being startled by what nonsense it was, it set us wondering about why.
We followed with interest an exchange over the weekend between Times columnist Kenny Farquharson and the anti-Brexit QC Jolyon Maugham, regarding the difference between the UK government’s insistence that there won’t be a hard border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland because of the UK leaving the EU, and its continued insistence that there WOULD have to be one between the rUK and an independent Scotland, despite the legal circumstances being indistinguishable.
Farquharson, who like much of the Scottish political commentariat clings doggedly to the implausible dream of a “federal” UK, was adamant that the rules would – and indeed that they should – be different for the two ostensibly identical situations, and his given reason was a deeply disturbing one.
Kenny, it seems, thinks Scottish nationalists should do a lot more murdering.
Actual Scottish politics news continues to be thinner on the ground than the crowds at a Donald Trump inauguration, so we sympathise once more with the gentle souls of the Scottish press as they endeavour to fill empty pages without doing anything more journalistically strenuous than slightly rewording a Labour or Tory press release.
Fortunately for us, of course, we’ve always got their dismal efforts to talk about.
Alert readers may recall as far back as July of last year, when we highlighted an odd thing that Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale had started saying.
Regardless of the fact that it was total hooey, Dugdale repeated it every chance she got, and the inevitable Scottish-media consequences have duly followed.
You very rarely get useful stats about online newspaper readership, so we were quite intrigued by this snippet on tonight’s BBC2 Scotland documentary “Paper Thistle”, about the 200th anniversary of The Scotsman.
We don’t know what the numbers are or how brief the period was, but Wings’ average traffic is higher now than it was in 2014, while we suspect The Scotsman is moving in the opposite direction. For a single-issue website to be anywhere even in the same ballpark as a two-centuries-old broadsheet news brand with scores of full-time writers and production staff and a daily newsstand presence is a remarkable thing indeed.
We might start doing classifieds and sport just to see what happens.
It’s a well-known fact, of course, that 87% of all statistics are made up. But as this site regularly observes, if you’re the Scottish opposition and media there’s no need to invent fake ones when you can twist the real ones to present an image completely at odds with the reality.
The Sunday Times today has some fine examples of the craft of massaging figures for the purposes of deception. It carries two separate scare stories on the NHS, both of them using figures which aren’t based on any sort of news, but on opposition spin on existing stats. One comes from the Tories, under a dramatic headline:
The banner is pulling a classic trick – the £685m figure is actually the total sum spent in a decade, not the single year that most people would assume (since there’s no good reason to measure spending in decades, so headlines usually don’t do it). But remarkably it’s just about the most honest thing in the paper’s health coverage today.
While normally the Unionist media deploys the ever-reliable blunt sledgehammer in its tireless war against Scotland controlling its own affairs, it’s also occasionally capable of more subtlety, slipping in a sneaky stiletto of a lie in passing. Take this piece from today’s Mail On Sunday:
The thing is, that’s not how currency reserves work.
As we’ve always understood it, readers, the definition of “news” is supposed to be “a new thing which has happened that people didn’t previously know about”.
Evidently the rules have changed since we were young cub reporters.
We weren’t going to dignify the utterly absurd media stushie over a tweet by Glasgow MSP John Mason yesterday with any coverage because it was too cretinous to even bear thinking about, but this from today’s Daily Record was just too good.
It might only be the 2nd of January, but it’s already pretty clear what we should expect from Scottish politics and the Scottish media in 2017.
Yesterday saw an absurdly petty response from Scottish Labour to the SNP’s “baby box” initiative, sourly carping at a dirt-cheap measure with a proven record of reducing infant mortality and providing vital help to the poor.
Today’s Herald, meanwhile, leads on a meaningless story about people being opposed to having a second independence referendum in 2017 – something nobody has proposed and which has no prospect of happening barring wildly unforseeable events.
robertkknight on Vibecoding A Better World: “That’s the least of your worries… There’s clearly other issues elsewhere! (I speak as a sufferer of osteoarthritis in both…” Nov 1, 19:59
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “I get it, Alf. Having higher petrol and diesel prices than ours in Norway doesn’t matter because of “context”. As…” Nov 1, 19:30
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “The charging infrastructure in Norway is excellent – i’ve seen EV chargers on unsurfaced roads. However, just under 70% of…” Nov 1, 19:17
100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “Your leader boosting he’s prepared to work with Burnham but isn’t prepared to work to delivery the mandate again the…” Nov 1, 19:04
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “Context Hatey! Few care about the price of diesel/petrol in Norway when 90% of cars sold there are electric, aided…” Nov 1, 18:47
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Why nit focus on the real enemy” The spelling and grammar police?” Nov 1, 18:24
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““highest energy prices in the world” It’s bizarre that Alf consistently posts these same lies over and over again when…” Nov 1, 18:21
Izzie on Vibecoding A Better World: “Abd we won the by election. And we are pleading in the polls Where are Alba again? If this sites…” Nov 1, 18:07
Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “Good grief man. Your victim complex really does know no bounds. What a humourless “fud”. Bore off.” Nov 1, 17:57
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: ““if you have to explain a joke” A colonized people are invariably made the butt of colonialist jokes for colonialism…” Nov 1, 17:43
Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Alf Whoosh. “Izzy Skint” was a well known Dandy comic character from the 1970s. So yeah, my background reading as…” Nov 1, 16:22
100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “Your comment might have got an applause on The National but to insults us on Wings with this bull shame…” Nov 1, 16:09
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “Plundered colonies are always “skint” and under-developed; in Scotland’s case external wealth extraction amounts to £150+ billion a year, resulting…” Nov 1, 16:09
robertkknight on Vibecoding A Better World: “I think Izzie is going door-to-door for the Scotto. More chance of winning that than of the SNP adopting a…” Nov 1, 16:03
GM on Vibecoding A Better World: “I agree with the sentiment MaryB but I am not so sure about your analysis of what is happening in…” Nov 1, 15:29
Izzie on Vibecoding A Better World: “Out leafleting today. It’s time to choose … CHOOSE SCOTLAND” Nov 1, 14:17
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “An interesting read. Somebody should tell Professor Baird how the writer dismisses “international law”.” Nov 1, 14:06
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “How is Scotland’s Mammie these days? It must be quite embarrassing for all those former worshippers of the ground Sturgeon…” Nov 1, 14:01
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““The students are revolting” There was me thinking the immigrants are revolting, asserting their new-found credo that just because their…” Nov 1, 13:37
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “Yes, Hatey. Unlike the flawed reasoning inherent in the views of Salvo, Liberation Scotland, Alf Baird and others, your logic…” Nov 1, 12:22
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “The UK government still refers to the Treaty of Union as the basis of the current arrangement.” Nov 1, 11:17
Izzie on Vibecoding A Better World: “Nicola did well on BBC TV with Laura Kuenssberg. Sensible and focused. Sorely missed in Scottish politics IMHO” Nov 1, 10:57
MaryB on Vibecoding A Better World: “Sarah 31.10 The current UK government’s austerity policies have made sure that most people are too worried about job security,…” Nov 1, 10:33
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “The surest route to the breakup of the UK would be for some supra-national entity to tell Scotland, England, Wales…” Nov 1, 10:29
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “The “union” is a historical act, not a current constitutional relationship. The Treaty of Union (1707) was a founding event…” Nov 1, 10:03
Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “https://waronomics.substack.com/p/the-long-war-of-the-21st-century An interesting and sobering summary of the current state of the world.” Nov 1, 09:59