Actual Scottish politics news continues to be thinner on the ground than the crowds at a Donald Trump inauguration, so we sympathise once more with the gentle souls of the Scottish press as they endeavour to fill empty pages without doing anything more journalistically strenuous than slightly rewording a Labour or Tory press release.
Fortunately for us, of course, we’ve always got their dismal efforts to talk about.
I’ve always found that argument a bizarre one, firstly because it takes no account of people’s emotional attachments to either the UK or Scotland, and secondly because as this site has repeatedly pointed out Scotland is both a producer and consumer of hydrocarbon fuels, so low or high prices are neither an unalloyed good or an unalloyed bad thing for her citizens.
What is incontestable is that the revenue from 45 years of North Sea production has not been well managed by the United Kingdom in comparison to the other states who have benefited from this bounty.
So far so uncontentious.
Outside of constitutional questions, party politics in Scotland revolves around health, education and jobs, with every party more or less in favour of all three. But what if there was an existential threat not just to this trinity but to our entire way of life? Where would that fit in to our politics?
Judge Dredd: Origins was published in 2007, although in fact the basic story of how Bad Bob Booth became the last President of the USA and what he did next was established right back at the 1970s beginnings of Dredd’s parent comic 2000AD.
We actually have a theory that it’s all the Lib Dems’ fault.
You very rarely get useful stats about online newspaper readership, so we were quite intrigued by this snippet on tonight’s BBC2 Scotland documentary “Paper Thistle”, about the 200th anniversary of The Scotsman.
We don’t know what the numbers are or how brief the period was, but Wings’ average traffic is higher now than it was in 2014, while we suspect The Scotsman is moving in the opposite direction. For a single-issue website to be anywhere even in the same ballpark as a two-centuries-old broadsheet news brand with scores of full-time writers and production staff and a daily newsstand presence is a remarkable thing indeed.
We might start doing classifieds and sport just to see what happens.
We’ve never been all that convinced by the political strategy of parties angrily pointing out their rivals have supposedly broken their manifesto promises once in government. After all, since by definition the complaining party was very probably opposed to the policies in question, shouldn’t they be delighted if they haven’t been enacted?
It’s even weirder if the opposition was the REASON the policies didn’t get enacted. It’s incredibly bizarre to vote something down (as the Unionist parties did repeatedly to the SNP minority administration of 2007-11 when it brought its manifesto pledges forward), and then huff at the governing party for the fact that you outvoted them.
But today the Scottish Tories have found an intriguing new twist on the wheeze.
There’s no sign of Scottish Labour’s great voyage to the bottom of the polls hitting the sea-bed yet. Currently sitting at around 15% – a startling 10 points down on the abysmal performance that saw the party lose 40 of 41 Westminster MPs in 2015 – the North Britain Branch Office is now haemorrhaging voters to the Tories almost as fast as it previously lost them to the SNP.
With the constitution looking set to dominate Scottish politics for the forseeable future (and certainly until the Brexit process is concluded, if and when that ever happens), Labour in Scotland finds itself unenviably located in the middle of a grisly medieval execution, being torn apart as its limbs are wrenched from their sockets by the horses of the SNP on one side and the Ruth Davidson No Surrender Party on the other.
No matter how many times the regional sub-department of UK Labour tries to rehash and reheat the worn-out promise of “more powers”, “Home Rule”, “federalism”, “devo super ultra megamax extreme” or whatever meaningless undefined term it’s using this week, it’ll be seen as a cowardly betrayal by one side and a hollow lie by the other, and as views polarise Labour’s hopeless middle-of-the-roading will see it steamrollered like the Lib Dems were at the last UK election.
And the prospect seems to have driven Scottish Labour quite mad.
We weren’t going to dignify the utterly absurd media stushie over a tweet by Glasgow MSP John Mason yesterday with any coverage because it was too cretinous to even bear thinking about, but this from today’s Daily Record was just too good.
It might only be the 2nd of January, but it’s already pretty clear what we should expect from Scottish politics and the Scottish media in 2017.
Yesterday saw an absurdly petty response from Scottish Labour to the SNP’s “baby box” initiative, sourly carping at a dirt-cheap measure with a proven record of reducing infant mortality and providing vital help to the poor.
Today’s Herald, meanwhile, leads on a meaningless story about people being opposed to having a second independence referendum in 2017 – something nobody has proposed and which has no prospect of happening barring wildly unforseeable events.
Never mind running local services better. All that Scottish Labour now care about is existing in order to go into coalitions with the Tories, to prevent a left-of-centre social-democratic party with which they agree on almost everything except the constitution from wielding power in an area that has no impact whatsoever on the constitution.
We remain of the firm conviction that at some point in 2017 Labour will poll in single figures in Scotland. It might be a lot sooner than we think.
A few people objected to this post when we first ran it a year ago, then came to regret their decision. So for their sake we’re putting it up again, in a new and updated form, in the interests of civilised and productive discourse about Scottish politics.
It’s the most constructive contribution we can think of to make Twitter a less toxic place over the next 12 months. It’s our block list.
Peter McAvoy on The Turning Point: “Some may say that the SNP no longer support Scottish Independence,they could be easily convinced by many recent actions some…” Sep 29, 02:57
robertkknight on The Turning Point: “Time to play “Idiot Bingo” on October 1st… I’ll be placing an X in the box next to all 7…” Sep 29, 00:39
robertkknight on The Turning Point: ““Nationalists easily forget that the Scottish people stopped independence at the ballot. Not MI5.” Utter bollocks as usual… 53% of…” Sep 28, 23:50
Spartan 117 on The Turning Point: “Leftist political parties are inevitably of the destructive kind, following the Soviet model of “burn everything down and rebuild in…” Sep 28, 23:34
Ebok on The Turning Point: “Cuphook says: ‘The surge in the Green vote was due to Polanski’ Spartan 117 says: ‘The surge in Green voting…” Sep 28, 23:20
James on Cowering From Destiny: “And don’t forget; “Pricks” like you too, wee man.” Sep 28, 22:34
Hatey McHateface on Cowering From Destiny: ““I try not to hate anyone” Dinna hold yersel back, James. Nobody you hate will ever give a damn.” Sep 28, 21:50
Hatey McHateface on Cowering From Destiny: “All antisemites should dig themselves a tunnel, descend into it, and never come up again. If we’re talking kids, they…” Sep 28, 21:41
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Turning Point: “Rev Stuart Campbell writes @ 5:54 pm: “Swinney has closed down all routes for the membership to do anything except…” Sep 28, 20:15
Cuphook on The Turning Point: “They’re not at odds with each other. They describe different attributes. A party in favour of workers’ rights and free…” Sep 28, 20:10
Confused on Cowering From Destiny: “Anyone who gives a shit about U is suspect – if you care enough then fuck off over there and…” Sep 28, 19:47
Spartan 117 on The Turning Point: “Not bollocks, largely the truth. Especially the last two points.” Sep 28, 19:32
Spartan 117 on The Turning Point: “The terms “left wing” and “conservative” are at odds with each other and quite frankly the absolute last thing we…” Sep 28, 19:29
Aidan on Cowering From Destiny: “lol – what has R done; – invaded its neighbours in an aggressive territorial expansion campaign. The latest one, which…” Sep 28, 19:24
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Turning Point: “Swinney has closed down all routes for the membership to do anything except leave.” Sep 28, 17:54
Cuphook on The Turning Point: “The surge in the Green vote was due to Polanski in England. Look where the Green vote did well and…” Sep 28, 17:34
willie on The Turning Point: “It is utterly no surprise that so many of independence supporters distrust the SNP and will not vote for them.…” Sep 28, 17:20
James on Cowering From Destiny: “What has R* ever done to Scotland – or rUK for that matter? I’ll tell you as you’re obviously too…” Sep 28, 16:35
Aidan on Cowering From Destiny: “Great argument James – are you off to the UN? You’d undoubtedly be a huge asset to the cause.” Sep 28, 16:26
James on Cowering From Destiny: “Utter bollox. But you know that, eh? Distract, divert, divide.” Sep 28, 16:04
Aidan on Cowering From Destiny: “So because some independent sovereign countries joined a defensive alliance, that provides a lawful excuse for an aggressive expansionist dictatorship…” Sep 28, 15:52
Mark Beggan on The Turning Point: ““can re-group and recommence the drive towards independence.” Not only has the SNP failed the bid for independence but is…” Sep 28, 15:42
James on Cowering From Destiny: “Aw, Adrian, sweetie – don’t be coy. You know it all basically goes back to one broken promise; “..not one…” Sep 28, 15:34
Mark Beggan on The Turning Point: “What action would you recomend the “membership” take? This is the same membership that got fleeced twice.” Sep 28, 15:10
Aidan on Cowering From Destiny: “Oh aye of course it isn’t James – let me guess you sit all day in your pants drinking cheap…” Sep 28, 13:56
100%Yes on The Turning Point: “I would say the graph is precisely what Sturgeon and Swinney wanted these two never wanted Independence. I’d go even…” Sep 28, 13:54
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Turning Point: “« Data from: Scotland, Great Britain »” Sep 28, 13:45