Scotland has 2,174 miles of trunk roads, of which 1.7 miles (that’s just under 0.08%) comprise the Queensferry Crossing. For the next few days those 1.7 miles are going to be subject to some partial lane closures on the southbound side for maintenance.
They’ll cause almost no disruption, because as it happens there’s another very similar bridge conveniently located just a couple of hundred yards away – linked directly to all the same roads – that traffic will use instead.
Not much of a story, is it? We don’t know how many miles of Scotland’s roads have roadworks on them on any given day of any given week, but we suspect it’s quite a lot. It tends not to make the news beyond a few seconds on the traffic bulletin at the end, but today was different.
Yesterday’s Daily Record (which would increasingly be an accurate three-word name for the paper) ran an innocuous piece of page-filler fluff rubbish, and for once we’re not talking about a David Torrance column.
It featured the “psychic” predictions of a man who, the Record told us – no fewer than FIVE times in the opening few lines – previously predicted Donald Trump’s victory in the US presidential election, and who had a track record of “incredible accuracy”.
Quite a few remarkable things were said on last night’s STV debate between the two prospective leaders of the Labour Party branch office in Scotland. This one, though, was especially striking.
That’s Anas Sarwar denying three times that he was a part of the “Better Together” campaign with the Tories. A startled Colin Mackay claims to have seen photographs of Sarwar campaigning with BT, at which point Sarwar insists no, he merely appeared on TV debates which happened to also have Tory guests.
The Daily Record have continued to run Kezia Dugdale’s weekly column despite her resignation as Scottish Labour branch office manager (North British division), and this week we were interested to note her assessment of the devolution years, which could be summarised neatly as “Labour devolution good, SNP devolution bad”.
We raised an especially quizzical eyebrow at the claim that the 1999-2007 Labour/Lib Dem administrations had apparently ended homelessness. So we thought we’d do that thing we do when Kezia Dugdale claims something.
The Scottish media this week has started to rather resemble Argentina under General Galtieri’s military junta – everywhere you look are the ghosts of the disappeared.
The best we can say is that at least this time it took four months for the Secretary Of State’s promise to completely and utterly collapse, not 48 hours.
“Colonel” Ruth Davidson took time out from her holidays yesterday to unleash an extraordinary (and unusually defensive) 35-part Twitter tirade about the reaction to her appointment as an honorary military commander. So barren is the summer political news desert that two newspapers put it on their front page today, giving the BBC an excuse to deem it the day’s biggest story.
This was David Mundell on Sunday, guaranteeing that any extra money produced for Northern Ireland to secure DUP backing for the Tory government would be matched by more funding for Scotland (as much as £4.5bn under normal Barnett Formula rules, because Scotland has nearly three times the population of the province):
We hadn’t been planning to talk any more about the curious case of Claire Austin, the suddenly publicity-shy Edinburgh nurse who – how can we put this? – seemed a rather ill-chosen figurehead for the good cause of getting more pay for a group of people who are rightly well-regarded by the public.
But yesterday, the release of a letter from Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale re-opened political hostilities after last week’s hiatus for the Manchester terror attack by shoving the now-reticent Ms Austin right back into the spotlight.
The Labour general election manifesto is officially launched today, as if it mattered. It will reportedly say that the party will block a second independence referendum if it’s in power at Westminster, which of course it won’t be.
And while Labour’s position on anything – particularly anything involving Scotland – is a complete irrelevance, it’s still quite fun to listen to them tying themselves in knots.
So with no further ado, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you Duncan Hothersall.
Something really quite strange happened yesterday. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was caught red-handed in the act of telling a bare-faced, unarguable lie in the middle of a general election campaign, and nobody cared.
Reacting to the Crown Prosecution Service decision not to prosecute dozens of Tory MPs who’d broken the law in getting elected in 2015, the PM offered up a quote, which was reported in most of the newspapers:
Nice wee bit of snark on “all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists” there. But there’s a slight problem with the statement, which is that it’s an absolute lie.
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “Oi Vey! Guys! Guys! Settle.. What you’ve both just railed about came direct courtesy of Uncle Sam! BIGLY FACT! Jesus…” Mar 4, 03:19
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “Hmmmm.. Try: I could not dig, I dare not rob Instead I lied to please the mob. What tales shall…” Mar 4, 03:05
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “Geri @ 11.31 Mystic Meg there Geri.. Pearl clutching from the “never have or will see service” hawks here but…” Mar 3, 23:40
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “Just in time for him to claim diminished responsibility & unfit for trial. I dunno why the yanks don’t ever…” Mar 3, 21:19
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “I hate to break it to you but the UK is the terrorist. The shit they’re involved in across the…” Mar 3, 21:12
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “Does it have an invisibility cloak? A secret stash of interceptors?” Mar 3, 20:58
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Iain More on Two Men Unalike: “It seems that those that followed the orders of Fuhrer Von Trump the Child Rapist are going to heading home…” Mar 3, 19:33
Sven on Two Men Unalike: “Maybe the ones whom some may feel to be too white, white, white, Mark.” Mar 3, 18:35
agentx on Two Men Unalike: ““At 1 December 2024 The total number of people registered at December 2024 to vote in Scottish Parliamentary and local…” Mar 3, 18:32
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “That needs changed. It’s being abused.” Mar 3, 18:25
agentx on Two Men Unalike: “” Voting by post If you know that you won’t be able to get to the polling station on polling…” Mar 3, 18:11
agentx on Two Men Unalike: “Earlier on Tuesday, it had been speculated that HMS Duncan might be deployed to the area, however Starmer confirmed on…” Mar 3, 18:04
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “Should the Scottish government issue Stab Vests to its citizens?” Mar 3, 17:39
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “With the Postal vote scandal now hitting the news it begs the question. How many postal votes are there in…” Mar 3, 17:29
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “It will become the currency. Do you think anyone in the ME will continue to trade in $ when the…” Mar 3, 17:23
Mark Beggan on Two Men Unalike: “We are already involved in the ‘big game of RISK’. In fact we are up to our necks in the…” Mar 3, 17:21
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “I guess it’s a completely forlorn hope that even if the data is ever compiled and published, it will detail…” Mar 3, 16:55
Breastplate on Two Men Unalike: “Yes, John, I hadn’t noticed my ‘nd’ missing but I’m absolutely sure you understand what I have said. You are…” Mar 3, 16:50
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Informed and incisive analysis, Geri. I don’t know how you do it. How many billions will President Trump need to…” Mar 3, 16:48
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Fit happened there, Implants? Something seems tae hae hastened yer e [ Loving the economic illiteracy of your belief that…” Mar 3, 16:38
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Two Men Unalike: “WES STREETING TO COMPEL GENDER CLINICS TO SHARE PUBERTY BLOCKER DATA NHS gender clinics must share data on children who…” Mar 3, 16:02
Breastplate on Two Men Unalike: “John Main, I’ve asked you a number of times to give us your definition of genocide to no avail. We…” Mar 3, 15:43
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “He’s as corrupt as feck & on the take. He has been since he took office with the idiot coin…” Mar 3, 15:21
Northcode on Two Men Unalike: “No worries, Cynicus… an easy mistake to make. Your apology is 100% accepted.” Mar 3, 15:13
Breastplate on Two Men Unalike: “Cynicus, Northcode’s post, AI generated or not is correct. The new Master of the Universe is China, whether the USA…” Mar 3, 15:00
Young Lochinvar on Two Men Unalike: “Starmers dithering over sending HMS Duncan to Cyprus to “provide additional air defence”/ present a tempting target.. We have only…” Mar 3, 14:55
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Might be something in what you say, Confused. Still though, belt and braces. Better dust off the “genocide” accusation. We…” Mar 3, 14:42
Northcode on Two Men Unalike: “By the way, in case it isn’t clear to folk, the percentages in front of the ‘(most) likely human’ lines…” Mar 3, 14:33