When I was a boy at Balbardie Primary School in Bathgate in the mid-70s, football was banned in the playground. Of course we were all fitba-daft laddies, so we sought ways around the prohibition. Occasionally someone would bring in a tennis ball, but those were difficult to control in school shoes and also apt to fly over the wall of the outdoor toilet block if somebody caught one sweetly on the volley.
So most playtimes somebody would produce a tin of Pepsi or Irn-Bru or Cresta, chug the contents, stand the empty container on its end and stomp sharply on it, producing something more akin to an ice-hockey puck that would serve for our kickabout.
But even after being skelped and scudded around a concrete playground into stone walls for 20 minutes, that can was still in better shape at the end of our game than the one the SNP have been kicking down the road since 2016.
The SNP now seem to be involved in some sort of competition where they dare each other to come up with the most blatant insult to their own members and/or the wider independence movement and see just how much they can get people to put up with.
First up was this drivel:
Humza Yousaf is leader of the SNP, a political party whose defining purpose – arguably its SOLE real purpose – is the pursuit of Scottish independence, but his “vision for Scotland” didn’t include a single mention of it.
Instead, Yousaf intends to spend the next three years on “equality”, “opportunity” and “community”, three meaningless buzzwords which every political party on Earth would claim to be in favour of. He might as well have identified his key values as kittens, lollipops and hugs.
Once again, we’re dismayed to report that we called it right. Because last night SNP MSP Mairi McAllan, officially representing the party on Question Time, told a weary audience in Fort William that that was precisely the case.
And readers, if ever a policy has been tested in battle and found wanting, it’s that one.
Just over a year ago, Shona Robison – then the Cabinet Secretary For Social Justice, now the Deputy First Minister – told the Scottish Parliament this:
There now follow some quotes from the media regarding the case of Andrew Miller, aka Amy George, who yesterday admitted the kidnap and repeated sexual abuse of an 11-year-old girl at his home in Galashiels earlier this year.
But we’ve subsequently noticed a number of attempts by various people to muddy the story by talking about a “draft” warrant request, implying that there was no improper delay. So we checked up, and thought you might like to know how the process works.
Sally Hughes on The Pit Of Vipers: “Aye Alf, and timing is everything. Swinney has promised a second referendum if they get an SNP majority. Polls indicate…” Apr 19, 20:17
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “Kezia Dugdale appointed new chair of LGBT+ charity Stonewall.” Apr 19, 20:01
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “@Dan Well my only regret on the betting front is not backing Reform UK to get 20 MSPs at 8…” Apr 19, 19:53
holymacmoses on The Pit Of Vipers: “What saddens me most of all is that it was shiver of grubby-minded, meaningless mediocrity which created a stagnant pool…” Apr 19, 19:51
Dan on The Pit Of Vipers: “Well George, they do say Caveat Emptor and that fools and their money are easily parted… Plus you regularly state…” Apr 19, 19:37
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “@Sarah Your positively optimistic I will give you that. Tommy Sheridan was found guilty of 5 out of 6 Perjury…” Apr 19, 19:37
sarah on The Pit Of Vipers: “@ George Ferguson: Congratulations on the grandchild – something cheerful to think about! As for not voting, in my constituency…” Apr 19, 19:21
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “George Ferguson, I too constantly give donations to SNP and then the Alba Party and for what??? When Salvo started…” Apr 19, 19:20
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Dorian Grey One of the coven. Look after each other they do..” Apr 19, 19:04
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “T I’m not sure if it’s exactly what you were referring to but it’s worth listening to the lyrics of…” Apr 19, 18:57
Joan Edington on The Pit Of Vipers: “Much as I agree with the article, it does seem a bit too co-incidental that the Mail should decide (or…” Apr 19, 18:55
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “@Dan 6:33pm I have been criticised for my negativity on the Alliance for Scottish Independence. I was defrauded and robbed…” Apr 19, 18:55
Dan on The Pit Of Vipers: “Even just post Indyref the signs were there that the fledgling NuSNP wanted nothing to do with the grassroots Indy…” Apr 19, 18:33
twathater on The Pit Of Vipers: “Surely questions must be asked of the judge, Dorrian WHY all these Whatsapp messages and other messages were NOT allowed…” Apr 19, 18:01
Lorncal on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Alf: spot on, sir. Nicky: aye, Tommy was a naughty boy, but if his wife can forgive him, so can…” Apr 19, 18:01
Ian on The Pit Of Vipers: “Margaret Thatcher’s government famously attempted to ban Spycatcher (1987), a memoir by former MI5 officer Peter Wright that alleged illegal…” Apr 19, 17:46
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “@Sarah I was in Dundee at the time. I distributed the wee blue book during the Independence Campaign. Dundee delivered…” Apr 19, 17:39
GM on The Pit Of Vipers: “Starting with Sturgeon, dozens of these repulsive individuals should be facing charges and certain jail terms. It is obvious that…” Apr 19, 17:39
Confused on The Pit Of Vipers: “cultured Prime of Miss Jean Brodie reference …” Apr 19, 17:34
Morgatron on The Pit Of Vipers: “I can’t wait for the day everyone of these bastards are named and held accountable in a court of law.…” Apr 19, 17:32
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Pit Of Vipers: “CHANNEL 4 NEWS Alex Salmond interview (26 Mar 2021) « But when are you going to apologise to the women???…” Apr 19, 17:27
willie on The Pit Of Vipers: “You make a very important point Alf Baird. The persecution against Salmond was aided and abetted by the Westminster deep…” Apr 19, 17:12
sarah on The Pit Of Vipers: “And was it in Dundee that the SNP made it difficult to distribute the Wee Blue Book? They wouldn’t have…” Apr 19, 17:00
Lenny Hartley on The Pit Of Vipers: “The Late Alison Balharry who was the Yes Scotland Press Officer responsible for arranging Spokespeople to Radio and TV claime…” Apr 19, 16:20
Jeannie McCrimmon on The Pit Of Vipers: “We are governed by pathetic sickos.” Apr 19, 16:11
Sven on The Pit Of Vipers: “I make no comment upon any individual alleged to be connected with what appears to me to be a criminal…” Apr 19, 16:09
Alf Baird on The Pit Of Vipers: “This is clearly about a lot more than just a few senior people in the SNP. Considering the significant number…” Apr 19, 16:06
sarah on The Pit Of Vipers: “@ Effijy: Vote for people who aren’t party politicians. And have integrity and principles. There’s quite a few standing as…” Apr 19, 15:39
