Only a few diehards in the press are still clinging this morning to the Labour fiction we exposed yesterday, namely the flat-out empirical falsehood that “the biggest party gets to form a government” in the event of a hung Parliament.
As that’s where Scottish Labour is led from, of course. The Ashcroft polls leaked late last night have, it’s fair to say, caused a certain degree of furore among politics types.
Contrary to some expectations, the figures could scarcely have been worse. Of 16 seats polled – 14 held by Labour and two Lib Dem – 15 would go to the SNP on staggering swings of over 20%. Labour’s Glasgow heartlands would be all but wiped out, with only Willie Bain in Glasgow North East barely clinging on.
The SNP will undoubtedly be cock-a-hoop, but will almost certainly also be feverishly warning activists that polls don’t win seats and reminding them of the party’s own spectacular recovery in the 2011 Holyrood election from what looked like disaster just a couple of months out from the vote.
Lord Ashcroft himself points out (as we did ourselves on Twitter last night) that the seats he polled were mainly in areas that voted Yes last year, and so may be unduly flattering the SNP. But it’s worth seeing them in context.
By now we imagine most readers have already seen the alleged leak of the Ashcroft polling results which aren’t due to be officially released until 11am today [EDIT 00.47am: out now], and which suggest some jaw-dropping SNP gains.
We’re not going to go off half-cocked until those have been confirmed, so instead here’s something sent in by an alert reader. It’s an extract from the autobiography of former Radio 1 DJ Liz Kershaw, and describes events around the funeral of Princess Diana. We think you’ll find it enlightening.
Remarkably, 26% of people planning to vote Labour in May, and an astounding 54% of likely Tory voters, say the SNP are the best guarantors of more powers, while 21% of Labour voters and 37% of Tories also answer “SNP” to the second question.
We wouldn’t want to be in Scottish Labour’s shoes if they were made of diamonds.
We pondered long and hard over how best to analyse Scottish Labour’s bewildering, oh-my-God-they’re-really-calling-it-that “Vow Plus” fiasco from yesterday, readers.
We contemplated noting the absurdity of Gordon Brown being its frontman when he’s not standing in May and won’t be in Parliament to deliver it. We considered a forensic deconstruction showing how it’s just the same old reheated, uncosted rubbish they’ve been waffling around for the past years.
(“Give Holyrood control of housing benefit, separating it out from the rest of the UK’s Universal Credit by mumble mumble! Increase pensions using the extra cash freed up by mumble mumble! Devolve workfare, which somehow magically ‘creates jobs’ by mumble mumble! Pretend we just said ‘1000 nurses’ all along, not the demented ‘1000 more than anything the SNP say’!”)
We thought about pointing out all the comical flapping the party’s done around its devolution proposals, presenting the weary and confused Scottish people with feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan after feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan – at least five different ones since 2009 – and resentfully upping the offer by the bare minimum they think they can get away with every time.
And we wondered if it was worth drawing attention to the fact that the latest effort is actually basically the Strathclyde Commission blueprint from the Conservatives with a red sticker hastily slapped on it.
But in the end, the truth is a lot simpler than that.
Ostensibly it’s gathering signatures representing opposition to the bedroom tax, but in fact its only purpose is to harvest email addresses so that Labour can then bombard unwitting recipients with dodgy, untruthful solicitations for cash. (What would actually be the point of a petition about the bedroom tax at this stage?)
We haven’t done a monthly stats post for a few months, partly because naturally traffic’s been down after the insane spike of last September, partly because we had two weeks off in October (and a semi-break over Christmas and New Year), and partly because we’ve moved to new, more accurate and more detailed figures direct from our webhost and January was the first full month of them.
So here, for those of you who like to keep track, are the headlines:
We’re pretty blown away by that, to be honest. A tiny fraction shy of 300,000 unique readers (in what’s traditionally a very slow month for politics, and one we didn’t really start until the second week) is 157% up on a year ago, and nearly 50,000 higher than last May, which was the all-time high until the mad last few weeks of the referendum campaign. (It’s the 3rd-highest ever, after September and August 2014.)
If you’d told us we’d be anywhere near those sorts of numbers four months after a No vote (or indeed if we’d even still be going four months after a No vote), we’d have said you were missing a few marbles. But as long as you’re still here, we will be too*.
Vestas on Narrowing the options: “In terms of funding, I think RevStu has that more or less covered for now & if not then hopefully…” Jul 3, 16:02
Kevin Cargill on Narrowing the options: “What happened to us? When I grew up in the 60s and 70s our education and legal systems were the…” Jul 3, 15:59
lothianlad on Narrowing the options: “Holding them to account stu!! thank you for all you do! without wings, they would be getting off free. with…” Jul 3, 15:45
Cynicus on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: ““………well maybe except some folk in Thames House, London.” ====== Their top guy in Scotland was Lord Advocate,James Wolffe, a…” Jul 3, 15:42
David Rodgers on Narrowing the options: “Sir, Your persistence in this matter is most admirable and I wish you every success. However I suspect this will…” Jul 3, 15:10
Knuckle_Heid on Narrowing the options: “Me too, happy to contribute. Anything to send a message to these unelected bureaucrats that – at the end of…” Jul 3, 15:08
Aidan on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “I know CC, what a fucking melt. We’re hearing this whole chesnut again about how the Canadian firm that built…” Jul 3, 14:59
agentx on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “It would appear Scotland is doing very well in relative poverty as part of the UK.” Jul 3, 14:57
Confused on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “If England is propping up Scotland, then indy makes the english richer, obviously – that is just logic and arithmetic…” Jul 3, 14:54
David Henry on Narrowing the options: “It’s glaringly obvious that powers to be want to avoid the fraud issue. I suspect it will expose others inside…” Jul 3, 14:48
Vestas on Tuning In The Shine: “Shame the video wasn’t available, the interviewer sounded extremely stressed/antagonistic towards the end. Would have been fun looking for the…” Jul 3, 14:35
Andrea on Narrowing the options: ““Ingathered” is my new word of the day. The spell checker didn’t know it either.” Jul 3, 14:28
100%Yes on Narrowing the options: “May I say, the way in which and your manner of approach to the the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal…” Jul 3, 14:14
Captain Caveman on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “No, I think you’ll find there are basic physical/geological factors at play, not merely “more assistance”. You do seem to…” Jul 3, 14:12
Andy Wiltshire on Narrowing the options: “Excellent stuff, Rev; keep going! I wonder if it would be possible to get them in a pincer movement by…” Jul 3, 14:08
Gav on Narrowing the options: “Thank goodness we have you holding their feet to the fire. Bravo.” Jul 3, 14:03
sam on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “The Norwegian oil reserves are easier and more profitable to extract than UK resources because from exploration to production Norway…” Jul 3, 13:54
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “” I only hope that the court case to clear his name once and for all isn’t mired in the…” Jul 3, 13:46
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: ““An agency can ALWAYS claim they didn’t find “sufficient grounds” for doing something, since “sufficient” is by definition a judgment…” Jul 3, 13:45
Hatey McHateface on Narrowing the options: “Irresistible force meets immovable object. Up until now, that’s always been classed as a nonsensical statement. But in this instance,…” Jul 3, 13:42
Hatey McHateface on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Hark at sam with his pro-Restore propaganda. Given that an unassailable definition of poverty is owning little more than the…” Jul 3, 13:35
Hatey McHateface on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “I like the Norwegians. They’re serious people. They wouldn’t vote the likes of the SNP back into power, election after…” Jul 3, 13:30
sarah on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Carlill v Carbolic Smokeball Co – that takes me back 40 years to Contract law!” Jul 3, 13:29
sarah on Narrowing the options: “Oh, what fun. We need some entertainment now that the World Cup is over. Crowdfunder awaited – or is counsel…” Jul 3, 13:26
David on Narrowing the options: “Is it criminal for public servants/lawyers etc to participate in a cover up? Because, this sounds very much like a…” Jul 3, 13:20
Frank Gillougley on Narrowing the options: “For funding of civil proceedings, count me in.” Jul 3, 12:54
sam on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “From JRF “Poverty in the UK remains high, with over 1 in 5 people (around 14.2 million) living in poverty…” Jul 3, 12:53
Captain Caveman on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Hey everyone! “Confused” is having another trademark sputtering “bum-referencing” meltdown because he doesn’t have a Time Machine and doesn’t know…” Jul 3, 12:41
Alice Timmons on Narrowing the options: “Oh, God. I just LOVE really elegant lawyers’ letters. If Roddy Dunlop were ever to get posters made, I’d have…” Jul 3, 12:37