To be honest, folks, we’re not quite sure what to do with ourselves at the moment.
Everyone and his wee dug is writing election-aftermath columns and offering the SNP advice of varying intelligence and solemnity about how to recover from the shattering blow they’ve just been dealt by Scottish voters.
But it’s a pointless exercise. They may as well be yelling down a manhole.
The Scottish Greens, in a feat of remarkable hubris and financial profligacy, stood 44 candidates in this week’s general election, knowing that most of them would lose their deposits, which they duly did.
But not quite all of them. And there the comedy arose.
Because while SNP boneheads on social media are raging idiotically at Alba, Wings and others for causing division and damaging the unity of the indy cause yada yada yada, a small handful of Green candidates made a real difference.
The 2005 election was the last time the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun both endorsed the same party at a UK general election. So, y’know, something is going on.
Survation released their final projection for the election last night. It’s quite a boring image because they had to make it mostly grey to correctly illustrate the margin of Labour’s lead.
Those ranges are substantial, but even their BEST-case scenario for the Tories is below 100 seats. The WORST-case scenario for Labour – 447 seats – still gives them a majority of 244, which would smash the all-time record of 209 set by the Tories exactly 100 years ago. (The best case is a dizzying 384.)
Scotland is probably the hardest area of the UK to call. In most polls there are only a few points between Labour and the SNP, and depending on how the votes are spread and who’s best at getting their support out either could still win the most seats.
That won’t, of course, make the slightest difference to the governance of the UK for the next five years. Even 57 Scottish MPs out of 57, for any party, would be completely meaningless to a government with a majority of over 200.
But it’ll make a big difference to the independence movement. Because if the SNP manages to hold onto to a significant proportion of its seats, we can all wave goodbye to the slightest chance of progress for another decade on top of the one that’s been wasted since Alex Salmond resigned.
In the modern political world, you don’t get anywhere without a movement, and movements don’t get anywhere without a flag. So we’ve decided it’s time to take action and stand up for a very large group of people who are genuinely discriminated against and significantly disadvantaged in our society.
Here’s their symbol.
Today is July 1st, and we officially, on behalf of all our oppressed kinfolk, declare this to be People Who Aren’t Eligible For A Railcard Pride Month.
I was going to write this article yesterday, but 2024’s miserable damp squib of a summer unexpectedly delivered a beautiful day – a perfect 20C of unbroken sunshine with a refreshing slight breeze – so I went for a nice walk instead.
Rather than my usual bird-feeding and bear-patrolling beat along the river and canal, I headed off on what used to be my standard summer stroll: up the long steep hill to Beckford’s Tower and its associated cemetery with stunning views over the city.
I’ll scatter a few pics from the walk throughout this feature, as otherwise I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit depressing and angering.
There are now just 10 days until the general election. Wings has never told its readers how to vote and we’re not going to start now. Which is lucky, because if we were, we wouldn’t have a clue how to.
Just, y’know, not for any of these wretched, worthless shiters.
robertkknight on Looking up at the stars: “Holyrood rammed full of yoons of varying political shades and persuasions, who frankly couldn’t run a bath let alone a…” Mar 11, 12:51
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “The first verifiable recorded instance of the phrase, “The penny dropped” of which I’m aware is that cited in the…” Mar 11, 12:24
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “No. Prior to indyref we were an equal partner in that wonderful family of nations remember? In a voluntary union…” Mar 11, 11:42
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““no need to withdraw from something that does not exist” My exact response to every one of those crowdfunding grifters,…” Mar 11, 11:34
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Could be worse, Onlooker. Isn’t the Indy movement sprinkled with simpering pathetic fools who have renamed themselves ‘Hamassa’?” Mar 11, 11:30
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Does that mean the UK may not have only two days of gas left? OK. I’ll answer. Yes it does.…” Mar 11, 11:27
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Dinna be daft, x. Penny Falls machines, from which the term originates, didn’t exist before 1964.” Mar 11, 11:20
diabloandco on Looking up at the stars: “The Lib Dums proved themselves duplicitous during Jim Wallace’s time as leader. Can someone tell me why , when some…” Mar 11, 11:19
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Aye, Geri, you do well to warn ordinary Scots about Baphomet. Any signs of your new hereditary king? I read…” Mar 11, 11:14
Onlooker on Looking up at the stars: “I liked when the simpering pathetic fool renamed himself ‘Hamala’ during the last yank election and ran off to the…” Mar 11, 10:45
agentx on Looking up at the stars: “James Che says: 11 March, 2026 at 9:23 am One day the penny will drop ————————————– It’s only taken 319…” Mar 11, 10:27
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “They’ve been referred to as Lib Dumbs for over a decade at least. Remember the tuition fee fiasco where the…” Mar 11, 09:41
James Che on Looking up at the stars: “The so called Scottish Elections are a farce, The devolved governance sent to Scotland under the laws of the England…” Mar 11, 09:30
James Che on Looking up at the stars: “One day the penny will drop, Scotland, Ireland, Wales and England will wake up to the historical records and realise…” Mar 11, 09:23
James Che on Looking up at the stars: “Peter McAvoy, English votes for English laws, The Anglo- Irish Agreement in 1800, [ Scotland not Included ] set up…” Mar 11, 09:13
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “Did anyone ever seriously doubt that the LDs, at any level, in any constituency would sell out to anyone for…” Mar 11, 08:46
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: ““Lib Dumb” – you’re so witty and clever James, will you be at the fringe this year? Northcode has told…” Mar 11, 06:14
Young Lochinvar on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “HMcH @ 4.06 You have to be joking “old boy”! Scotchland Office seat warmers like yerself would probably be exempt…” Mar 11, 05:03
James Barr Gardner on Looking up at the stars: “Bring back Wee Willie Rennie, he was funnier…….” Mar 11, 02:46
Peter McAvoy on Looking up at the stars: “Will they cooperate to oppose the planned scrapping of jury trials in England and Wales,or remind Westminster of how these…” Mar 11, 01:38
Cynicus on Looking up at the stars: “Geri says: 10 March, 2026 at 9:45 pm “I dunno how he has the nerve to even collect a salary…” Mar 11, 01:12
Cynicus on Looking up at the stars: “Scot Finlayson says: 10 March, 2026 at 9:18 pm, `A carpetbagger is a derogatory name term for an outsider….. ..It…” Mar 11, 00:54
James on Looking up at the stars: “There’s a dark underbelly in the Lib Dumb movement. “Movement” being the operative word. Speaking of which – where’s Adrian…” Mar 10, 23:12
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “I dunno how he has the nerve to even collect a salary after he said Scotland shouldn’t be allowed to…” Mar 10, 21:45
Iain More on Looking up at the stars: “I have nothing to add to what has been said already although to refer to him as a wank stain…” Mar 10, 21:25
Scot Finlayson on Looking up at the stars: “Hamilton is an English carpetbagger, `A carpetbagger is a derogatory term for an outsider—historically a Northerner in the post-Civil War…” Mar 10, 21:18
Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “Dear Lord, that man never learns, does he? We’re doing it for you, Anas! If I were Anas Sarwar, I’d…” Mar 10, 20:38
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “It’ll dawn on the electorate one day that they’re really all just one big party.” Mar 10, 20:34