In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
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Frank Gillougley on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I remember now, the apparatchick’s name was a Valerie. Two legs bad, four legs good kinda person. Back on topic…” Apr 12, 22:53
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Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I’m no fan of the EU but fair play to them. poot is down one apologist tonight and that’s a…” Apr 12, 22:26
Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “90 billion Euros for our fighting friends in the east have just been unlocked as Orban is consigned to history’s…” Apr 12, 22:11
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The EU was always going to get rid of him, by hook or by crook. He just wasn’t playing ball…” Apr 12, 22:00
Frank Gillougley on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Meanwhile, back at the ranch, here in sunny Hungary, Orbán concedes and Tisza will pass the 2/3rds majority needed to…” Apr 12, 21:42
Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““There’s a very good reason the whole world hasn’t joined in with this madness” Sure, feart of the followers of…” Apr 12, 21:40
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “LOL! I asked myself that same question when it comes to UK elections & Brexshit referendum. Why does Pam fae…” Apr 12, 21:28
Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““the Greens 11 seats” Was that before or after the Green quine announced that a Green Scotland will dig deep…” Apr 12, 21:22
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “First off – let’s remind the group these are war crims. An unjust & illegal act of aggression. There’s a…” Apr 12, 21:20
Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““The tech Mafia will make their own version of obedient human” Truly it is as if you are completely unaware…” Apr 12, 21:15
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Aye, aye, Captain fckwit. Y’all will be swimming with the fishes in nae time. Mind wear yer armbands! Unleash the…” Apr 12, 21:09
Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Oh dear, Geri, you’ve just provided two reasons for them to disappear you. The first is you’ve gone public. Doh!…” Apr 12, 21:04
Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Then again, “Rt Hon. Lord Barony” may simply be cultural misappropriation by somebody of Caribbean or Indian heritage whose parents…” Apr 12, 20:53
Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Transhumanism. The tech Mafia will make their own version of obedient human.” Apr 12, 20:48
Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““Operation “Cutting your nose to spite your face””. I don’t see that. Blockading the towel heids exports in makes perfect…” Apr 12, 20:45
Hatey McHateface on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““should normally protect the sovereignty of the indigenous people, including those living abroad” Why should anybody care about the sovereignty…” Apr 12, 20:33
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““the occupation of ALL of our top cultural, heritage, environmental, educational, etc. positions” Indeed, an Anglo cultural hegemony and hence…” Apr 12, 19:01
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The thing is, Heaver, that we just do not know for certain (although we can guess) why this is happening.…” Apr 12, 17:08
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The SNP has overseen a greater importation of people into our cultural and heritage, environmental and other nationally-important organizations than…” Apr 12, 16:48
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “‘We send warships’ Is that right Vice admiral Loch and Load.” Apr 12, 16:15
Young Lochinvar on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Breaking! Von Trumphausen is going to block the Strait of Hormuz!! Operation “Cutting your nose to spite your face”.. So…” Apr 12, 15:52
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “A colonized people are ‘bystanders’in all regards, including when it comes to appointing a meritocratic elite from elsewhere to lead…” Apr 12, 15:16
