We’re a bit annoyed about this, because we were going to give the Absolute Fanny Of The Week award to Anas Sarwar every week as a joke, but now it seems we can’t.
So that’s a professional journalist who’s studied the Offensive Behaviour (Football) Act, or OBFA, so intently and diligently that he keeps calling it “OBAF” instead. But that’s not the stupidest of it.
The very strange man who is David Leask, chief reporter at the Herald, has been hard at work with a shovel ever since we ran a couple of stories on Monday.
Leask’s argument, at least in so far as we can make any sense of it at all, is that even deliberately and knowingly made-up lies printed in mainstream newspapers are not, and can never be, “fake news”.
That’s a term which he insists only applies to spoof sites pretending to be real news outlets, which we’d presume – although it’s by no means clear – means the likes of The Onion or the Daily Mash.
This is an interesting one. Almost 40 years on from the event, Scottish politics is still plagued by micro-brained Labour types insisting that the SNP “ushered in” Margaret Thatcher after the devolution referendum of 1979 was sabotaged by a Labour MP.
SNP supporters counter that this is complete bollocks, largely because it’s complete bollocks. James Callaghan, the Labour PM at the time, blamed 34 of his own MPs for bringing his government down, by supporting an amendment from Islington South and Finsbury Labour MP George Cunningham which blocked the creation of a Scottish Assembly even though it won the referendum by a narrow margin.
(Cunningham resigned from Labour two years later and subsequently joined the SDP, but in 2012 the Daily Express dragged him out to demand that the same “40% rule” be applied to the indyref.)
History, though, has forgotten someone else who was apparently the true architect of the fix, to the extent that we’d never heard about it until now.
We thought it might be worth going through this in a bit more detail.
The phrase “out of control” is in quote marks in the Herald’s front-page headline, leading readers to believe someone has said it, but who? Let’s investigate.
We’ve got a shock result for the inaugural winner of this exciting new award, readers. Remarkably it’s NOT David Torrance – who wrote an arch review of a chapter of a book about Donald Trump that didn’t actually exist. Good effort, Davey, but no cigar.
No, the first ever Wings Absolute Fanny Of The Week is… Anas Sarwar!
In common with half of Scottish Labour, Sarwar has been raging at Paisley MP Mhairi Black for her “silence” over the closure of a 16-bed children’s ward in the town, which has been replaced by an entire new state-of-the-art 256-bed children’s hospital 10 minutes down the road, right next to the sparkly new Southern General.
But only Sarwar did it by enclosing a picture of the local paper’s front-page splash on the story. In which there was one teeny-weeny slight problem for him.
Remarkably, the notoriously unreliable and yet somehow omnipresent Scottish political commentator and reality-disputer David “Davey” Torrance was still digging last night in the wake of this story from three days ago.
Previous episodes in the series are here. If you’ve got a story like this to tell, or you know anyone who does, Phantom Power want to hear from you – drop them a line.
Late last night in the House Of Commons saw one of the most significant votes in the history of UK constitutional politics. A group of Scottish Tory MPs voted to oppose an amendment which would have protected the central building block of Scottish (and Welsh) devolution – the principle that any powers not explicitly reserved are devolved – from the UK government’s attempted huge power grab under the cover of Brexit.
Last night they could have fixed it by supporting the amendment (backed by every other Scottish MP right across party lines), which would have tipped the arithmetic and ensured its success. Instead they betrayed every voter in Scotland – including their own – by waving the bill through unamended and passing the buck to the unelected House Of Lords, which has no representatives from Scotland’s most popular party.
This morning, BBC Scotland led on the fact that it snowed a bit in Scotland in January.
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Or Something: “No, there’s a third option: simply explain the reason someone was not prosecuted in the face of what appears to…” Aug 3, 13:10
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: “OK, so I lazily exaggerated. I’ll re-write. Over the months of July and August, when the schools are out, sufficient…” Aug 3, 12:42
agentx on Or Something: ““Sandie Peggie’s employment tribunal appeal to go ahead next year. A statement released on behalf of Peggie’s lawyers said a…” Aug 3, 12:35
Campbell Clansman on Or Something: “The letter demands that the government agency admit they are institutionally inept or corrupted. Here’s a list of the number…” Aug 3, 12:33
H Scott on Or Something: “‘everybody will be on holiday’ Not in Scotland.” Aug 3, 12:20
joolz on Or Something: ““there are only two possibilities: COPFS is institutionally inept, or COPFS is institutionally corrupt. Neither would be a good look.”…” Aug 3, 11:59
am firinn on Or Something: “In fact COPFS have all sorts of duties to explain things. Notably, under section 6 of the Victims and Witnesses…” Aug 3, 11:59
Skip_NC on Or Something: “As I recall, this started as a criminal complaint to the police following John Swinney’s confession and they kicked it…” Aug 3, 11:46
David W Aitken on Or Something: “Is there the slightest prospect of a private prosecution here? It seems clear that only this would break the mulish…” Aug 3, 11:36
AlMac on Or Something: ““Please do not make the mistake of thinking that I will eventually get bored and go away. I will not.”…” Aug 3, 11:28
Frank Gillougley on Or Something: “I think that what they have said to so far amounts to no more than this: 1. Now be a…” Aug 3, 11:14
Robert on Or Something: “COPS may well, and quite reasonably, reply that it’s not their job to explain the law to anyone, or their…” Aug 3, 11:00
DaveL on Or Something: “On number 6 of your listed points, COPFS being either inept or corrupt I have no doubt (despite their inept…” Aug 3, 10:31
Sean Duffy on Or Something: “Excellent riposte. Reminding them that this is not simply going to go away and die quietly and unseen in some…” Aug 3, 10:29
Arbroath1320 on Or Something: “Please do not make the mistake of thinking that I will eventually get bored and go away. I will not.…” Aug 3, 10:22
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: ““wha aye hauds pouer in a donsie wee colony?” According to Fanon, the whites. According to Hatey, that’s a useless…” Aug 3, 10:22
Hatey McHateface on Or Something: “Excellent article. It really could not be made any simpler or any clearer. “in around a month’s time” would be…” Aug 3, 10:18
factchecker on Or Something: “Excellent. Could not be made plainer. Hard for them not to address the real issue without looking either stupid or…” Aug 3, 10:18
Tony Little on The Deaf Eyes: “On the contrary @Northcode COPFS chose to ignore the simple fact that on EVERY occasion the SNP asked people to…” Aug 3, 10:15
Alf Baird on Or Something: ““why COPFS is turning a blind eye?” Good question, Rev. This business suggests people in very powerful positions may be…” Aug 3, 10:06
Ronnie on Or Something: “When you come for the King…….yie ken the rest.” Aug 3, 09:49
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “An interesting article about how the EU – that wonderful EU that so many “Indy” Scots yearn to join with…” Aug 3, 08:25
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: ““a godsend to Scotland…..liven the place up from its geriatric torpor. many of them are rather well educated to boot”…” Aug 3, 07:32
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Not a bad post from Confused, there, shows what he can do when he’s not obsessing about his #1 and…” Aug 3, 07:18
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “” Right, so before much was known about it and no-one was reporting accurate numbers because they were not known,…” Aug 3, 06:48
twathater on The Deaf Eyes: “What a despicable response , as Knuckle_Heid upthread stated the condescension and contempt is palpable ,the fact that these people…” Aug 3, 03:04
Peter McAvoy on The Deaf Eyes: “Regarding a written constitution the term unwritten constitution is an oxymoron that has never to my memory been challenged. Most…” Aug 3, 02:33
Angus on The Deaf Eyes: “Do not let them defeat you.” Aug 3, 00:06
Confused on The Nobodies: “ottomannish-boy that’s a sloppy post and with very weak arguments re: islamic culture/science – you admit you took from earlier…” Aug 2, 23:30
Davy on The Deaf Eyes: “Look – just because the SNP government’s legal advisors (and Nicola Sturgeon appointees), Lord Advocate Dorothy Bain (SNP cabinet member)…” Aug 2, 22:47