As readers may already be aware, my main hobby to distract myself from my day job in the profoundly depressing world of politics is to delve into retro videogaming via my Retropie. It’s an endlessly rewarding fount of discovery and entertainment for many reasons, but sometimes the two spheres collide in extremely unexpected ways.
So let’s talk about GORF.
Midway’s 1981 arcade hit was a pioneering and innovative game. It was the first game to be comprised of multiple highly distinct sub-games, boldly including direct lifts of other people’s coin-ops in the form of Space Invaders and Galaxian. And while it wasn’t the first arcade game to feature synthesised speech – it was beaten to that punch by the likes of Berzerk and Wizard Of Wor the previous year – it was famous for the extensive and iconic vocabulary with which it taunted and goaded the player.
It got numerous conversions of variable quality to various home systems, whether as contemporary licences or later homebrew ports, and that’s where we come in.
Even by the embarrassing standards of The National, the gulf between this morning’s blaring front-page splash and the weak, watery weasel words in the actual article is a chasm so wide and so yawning (in every sense of that word) that it would put the epic planetary scar of Mars’ Valles Marineris to shame.
Coupled with a feebly underwhelming Programme For Government (in which the main policy was the re-abolition of peak rail fares just months after the SNP insisted such a move was unaffordable, with no clue as to where the money had suddenly been found) and a pitiful list of candidates for next year’s Holyrood election featuring the likes of Sally “all aboard the gravy bus!” Donald, Kaukab “DECAPITATE TERFS” Stewart, Kirsten “DECAPITATE TERFS” Oswald, Alison “DECAPITATE TERFS” Thewliss and Alyn “throw anyone who doesn’t want to DECAPITATE TERFS out of the SNP” Smith, the story was an abject vision of a bleak future for independence.
On reflection, we feel we may have not taken this story seriously enough. After all, they don’t put just ANY old guff on the front page of the Sunday Mail.
The less said about the Scottish Government’s toe-curlingly embarrassing “summit” last week, the sooner we can all pretend it never happened. We’ve got little to add to the withering assessments of Robin McAlpine and Kevin McKenna and just about everyone else who’s bothered covering this pathetic waste of everyone involved’s time. (Not that the time of most of these useless quangocrats was worth anything anyway.)
We take a moment only to note something remarkable: the closest Scottish Labour’s hapless branch manager Anas Sarwar has ever come to understanding anything.
Yesterday the Scottish media gave Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman what she’s never willingly given anyone else – a platform on which to make her case.
Most did a very poor job challenging her on her outrageous comments about the Supreme Court, with BBC Radio Scotland’s Drivetime show being an especially wretched example of allowing the interviewee to ignore every question and then just ramble on endlessly about something else entirely, but LBC’s Gina Davidson was on top of her brief and put all the points that reasonable people wanted to be made, while giving Chapman ample time to answer uninterrupted.
Let’s break down how that went, with the help of our handy Bullshit Buzzer.
At the weekend, Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman was filmed applauding as a notoriously unhinged transactivist ranted through a megaphone to a small and almost exclusively male crowd of protestors about how he was going to openly break the law by continuing to use women’s public toilets, and addressing JK Rowling with the words “We should all take a shite on you, you heinous creeping old bitch”.
At another protest, Chapman herself asserted that the Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling on the correct interpretation of the Equality Act 2010 was motivated by not by a solemn consideration of the law or by the arguments of counsel who appeared before it, but by “bigotry, prejudice and hatred”.
Chapman is – incredibly – Deputy Convener of the Equalities, Human Rights and Civil Justice Committee of the Scottish Parliament, and as such her comments sparked a storm of wholly justified outrage over her flagrant breach not only of Parliamentary rules but also of the law – specifically the Judiciary and Courts (Scotland) Act 2008, which requires all MSPs to uphold the independence of the judiciary.
Regular readers of Wings won’t need any reminding that Dani Garavelli of the Herald is, among some very stiff competition, one of the most contemptible pieces of nightsoil currently operating in the Scottish media.
But if you’re new here, we can give you a quick illustration.
If the sneering piety of that opening paragraph made you feel a little revolted, a bit angry and somewhat nauseous, then congratulations, because that means you’re still something minimally approximating to a decent human being. But unfortunately it gets a lot worse from there.
J Robertson on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Watched your video interview Stuart and you came across superbly. No word salad – just “bam “ a straight answer…” Jun 9, 06:27
Mark Beggan on The Massive Face Of Truth: ““A starving Kittens Society…” Urgent help for homeless cats. Is run by Homeless paws. Please donate.” Jun 9, 06:06
Al-Stuart on The Massive Face Of Truth: “. Hi Stuart. I see the Scot-Goes-Gravy-Train grifter is slagging you off again. Fortunately, James Kelly has switched off the…” Jun 9, 05:37
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “MB Bumpkin; Aren’t you rampant Tories supposedly (self declared) tucked up in bed by now so you can rain scorn…” Jun 9, 03:44
Mark Beggan on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Catch 22. Is the movie. Yes I will take my time on that semi-reasonable reply you gave.” Jun 9, 03:06
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “MB I agree in great part with your rant. Indeed I do. However I don’t see how voting for the…” Jun 9, 02:50
Mark Beggan on The Massive Face Of Truth: “You still do not get it Lochy. Do you? If you stopped ranting for a minute and used the brain…” Jun 9, 02:16
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “MB How so? Their policies don’t reflect that.. Just sayin’ an that bumpkin.” Jun 9, 01:32
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Jay I think you are a bit off yer mark there. HMcH is 1slam8phobic, through and through just like a…” Jun 9, 00:13
BH on In pursuit of clarity: “Flu Manchu and Dr WHO pulling bigger strings than Westminster.” Jun 8, 21:41
robertkknight on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I just want my Ceau?escu moment… After that, the SNP can finally disappear up it’s own behouchie. I’ll then happily…” Jun 8, 21:31
Mark Beggan on The Massive Face Of Truth: ““Reform voters still support independence” Totally True Rev. Thank you.” Jun 8, 19:37
Ronald Bennett on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I was a ‘Yes’ voter for the first (and only) referendum but changed sides when we voted to leave the…” Jun 8, 19:37
Jay on The Massive Face Of Truth: “YL, your stalker (Mc Hateful) maybe does not realise that he is an anti-semite but avoids facing the truth when…” Jun 8, 18:34
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Meant to say, watched The Longest Day and big Tam fooling about as Flanagan carrying a mk 3 Bren gun…” Jun 8, 18:09
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “HMcH Oh I raised a glass alright, relatives were there. June 6th is very well known and hasn’t been airbrushed…” Jun 8, 17:42
Hatey McHateface on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Got to say, YL, absolutely jaw dropping to me that you let June 6th go by without raising a glass.…” Jun 8, 17:19
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: “Here’s a fourth behaviour for you, Northy. As you have in the past, on this site, claimed to be a…” Jun 8, 17:11
Hatey McHateface on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I’ve often considered that if Rev Stu were to address his formidable intellect to identifying the best way to generate…” Jun 8, 16:55
Mike on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Hi Stuart,did you get any call,message email etc in 2020 causing you suspicion to look at the accounts ?” Jun 8, 16:35
twathater on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Well done Mr Campbell there is only one thing I would disagree with on your interview, Sturgeon made it clear…” Jun 8, 15:44
twathater on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I have to say I wholeheartedly agree that ANY enquiry into the endemic corruption that exists within the snp, police…” Jun 8, 15:23
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “SB When I say written out I am referring to published general histories. These are notoriously Anglo-centric, frustratingly partisan. So…” Jun 8, 13:45
Aidan on In pursuit of clarity: “Alright Northcode – I get you’ve reach the point where the facts are clear, on the table, and you now…” Jun 8, 13:24
Southernbystander on The Massive Face Of Truth: “The Wiki entry is certainly much more substantial for Northallerton, it is true. If I am honest, I had heard…” Jun 8, 12:41
Northcode on In pursuit of clarity: “Now I see why Xaracen became so frustrated when dealing with you, AI Dan. I’ve hit the bullseye on three…” Jun 8, 12:14
Ian Smith on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Wasn’t the institutional pride generated after 150 – 200 years or so of colonialism? Is there a theory as to…” Jun 8, 11:37
Young Lochinvar on The Massive Face Of Truth: “SB True, but that’s not been written out of history.” Jun 8, 11:30
Southernbystander on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Shame about the replay at Northallerton a few weeks later 😉” Jun 8, 11:14