One of the very few phrases universally recognised in Scotland but which will draw blank looks anywhere else in the UK is the dry, dark “Well, ye ken noo”. Until recently it had no equivalent that we can bring to mind in the rest of the English-speaking world, although arguably that gap has now been at least partly filled by the acronym “FAFO”.
(We try not to swear on the site, so let’s say it stands for “Fool Around, Find Out”.)
So now the smoke has cleared, the troops have departed the battlefield and the winner is enjoying the spoils, what did we find out on Thursday night, and what didn’t we?
We must admit, we don’t quite get what the Daily Record is trying to achieve.
Having already told its dwindling band of readers that voting for both the SNP and Labour is the only way to stop Reform in today’s Hamilton by-election, for the last two days it’s deployed some random loony in a hard hat and the vegan former Rangers captain Graeme Souness to the same ostensible end.
Souness, famously a supporter of Margaret Thatcher and the Conservatives, tells Record readers today that they must vote Labour in order to prevent Thatcher’s right-wing heirs from winning the seat – even though Labour are dead, plucked, stuffed and cooked geese in the eyes of the bookmakers and voting for them only increases the chances of both Reform AND the SNP.
And this is what they say elsewhere, when they think nobody in Scotland is looking:
One day someone’s going to tell them about the internet, and our life’s going to get a lot more difficult. Until that day, though, let’s just enjoy the laughs.
If you’ve been reading Scottish social media or the Scottish press for the last year and a half or so, the following graph is going to come as a bit of a shock to you.
We’ve just taken delivery of some REALLY interesting polling results, readers, but it’s going to take a while to fully analyse and write them up, so in the meantime let’s look at some slightly less interesting ones which came from the same poll – the Norstat one commissioned by the Sunday Times and published today, which we hitched a lift on.
The headline figures show an eight-point Yes lead, which is nice, although it’s also entirely abstract since the SNP has no current policy for translating independence support into actual independence (or even another referendum about it).
All the same, it seemed a good time to assess the wider picture.
If you’re a fan of lazy, superficial political analysis from the mentally unwell, you might have read this week about John Swinney’s great strategic triumph of having “coaxed” an “endorsement” out of the Daily Record for Thursday’s by-election in Hamilton.
And if so, you might be forgiven for thinking that that analysis looks pretty stupid now.
(Holiday Boy is still jetting his way around the globe, and indeed will be for the next few weeks, so in the absence of cartoons what else can we do but look at comics?)
But what, if anything, do those front pages tell us?
Alert readers will be familiar with this site’s ongoing quest for an explanation as to why controversy-plagued charity LGBT Youth Scotland continues to operate in dozens of Scottish primary and even nursery schools, pushing gender ideology onto children as young as four despite only having a remit to support 13-25-year-olds.
Last month we were, to coin a phrase, stonewalled by Scotland’s charity regulator, the OSCR, but we filed a review request and today we received – a couple of weeks past the deadline – a response.
The entire Scottish media and professional-politician community is currently in a self-righteous froth about a campaign ad being run by Reform for the Hamilton by-election targeting Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar.
Obviously none of the acres of press coverage trusts voters to see the ad and decide for themselves, because that simply isn’t how journalism works nowadays. You’re told that a bad thing happened – whether it be a campaign ad, a comedian’s joke or the supposed terrible abuse sent to a celebrity – and how outraged various pundits or other celebrities are about it, with the clear implication that you should feel the same, but you almost never get shown or told what was actually said.
So to start with, as a basic journalistic principle, here’s the ad itself in its entirety.
Now let’s look at what you’re being ordered to think about it.
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Cover picture of Commissioner Swinney from Police Academy “Good speech” scene. “And I.. think.. well let this slide.. speak for…” Jun 29, 16:28
Aidan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “I notice you were happy to dismiss the overwhelming evidence of grooming gangs because of some weaknesses with the methodology…” Jun 29, 16:26
BigJay on The Fast Track: “I see Stu quotes Sir Iain Livingstone in one of his panels above. The quote is dated the 19th of…” Jun 29, 16:16
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Fast Track: “Just noticed that English version of above is available here: https://dasg.ac.uk/blog/en” Jun 29, 16:00
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “NC @ 3.13 Correct. Saxons spoke a Germanic from Saxony/ Holland whereas the Angles spoke a Germanic from Denmark. C3PO:…” Jun 29, 15:58
100%Yes on The Fast Track: “How can a party that at the time had 125,000 members and lets say they all paid £5 a month…” Jun 29, 15:48
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Fast Track: “CÙIRTEAN, CÙISEAN-LAGHA AGUS CEARTAS (Air a sgrìobhadh le Garry Cooke air 18 an Cèitean, 2026) « Mar a tha fios…” Jun 29, 15:40
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “C3PO @ 2.45 Is that right? Oh well other than shouldering a share of the UKs national debt (which we…” Jun 29, 15:22
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “No – Scots is not descended from Early Middle English. It’s descended from Northumbrian Old English, which is older than…” Jun 29, 15:13
Young Lochinvar on The Fast Track: “J-Logue of COPFS said in the interview that they looked at this initial matter and there was no evidence! Breathy…” Jun 29, 15:10
sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Posted By: Scottish Financial Review January 30, 2025 Analysis published by the Office of the Chief Economic Advisor has estimated…” Jun 29, 15:08
lothianlad on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “The SNP leadership is controlled by MI5. Eventually the truth will be revealed. Keep up the Good work Stu. Without…” Jun 29, 15:00
lothianlad on The Fast Track: “Gie it Lalday Stu!!!!” Jun 29, 14:52
Mark Beggan on The Fast Track: “Commit a complex crime to hide a simple, in your face, bigger crime. Peter Murrell took one for the team.” Jun 29, 14:45
Spartan 117 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Would this be the Scots language which is directly descended from Early Middle English?” Jun 29, 14:45
sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Being British. This disnae mention Norn Iron. I suppose there is just too much deviancy and cover up involved in…” Jun 29, 14:34
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “To summarise, using thon foul Inglis tongue we Scots hiv aw been forced tae use, what Sam is saying here…” Jun 29, 14:30
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““we Scots who identify as Scottish only don’t feel the same way” Sure, Northy. But you do like to spend…” Jun 29, 14:30
Mark Beggan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “All this crap you spout? Is it because you are not allowed in the girls toilets anymore? Tell us the…” Jun 29, 14:27
sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “https://www.communitylandscotland.org.uk/blown-away/ “A recent report from the Centre for Local Economies (CLES) puts paid to the idea that there isn’t enough…” Jun 29, 14:19
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““they are all ‘fucking morons’” Good Lord, Northy! Back peddling already. Hardly no time since you were calling them fucking…” Jun 29, 14:12
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “That’s because, as I have recently explained, those Anglo-Scots absolutely, definitely love being fucked in their arses by their ‘superior’…” Jun 29, 14:04
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Your post lacks those tiny but telling details that identify that no matter how ridiculous, exaggerated and simply tonto it…” Jun 29, 13:53
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “My mistake is brilliant news for Scotland. You have cut the number of eejits identifying as Scottish AND British by…” Jun 29, 13:50
Spartan 117 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Our own Scots in Holyrood seem very willing to fuck us all up the arse, as the Murrills and Co…” Jun 29, 13:43
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Careful! You might resurrect the stereotype of the Scots as mean, grasping, penny pinching misers. Everybody knows there is no…” Jun 29, 13:38
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Wheesht, sam, what does it matter what the figures are? Northy’s objective is to establish that anybody disagreeing with his…” Jun 29, 13:29
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““no one wants SOSHALISZM, which CAN NEVER EVER WORk” You got that bit right. Well done you. You’ll be one…” Jun 29, 13:21
sam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Northcode, Your figures cannae be right. 1.5 million Scots are not identifying as British and Scots. It’s not half a…” Jun 29, 12:55