We must admit we haven’t been keeping fully up to date with our Thickest Politician In Scotland rankings recently, mainly because they’ve been so deluged with submissions that we can barely scratch the backlog.
This is the 5,000th post since Wings Over Scotland began in November 2011, which is just shy of two a day, every single day, since then. We wanted such a landmark post to be something serious and significant, but in light of the utter brain-melting futility of trying to write anything sensible about politics in the UK today that won’t be overtaken by ridiculous events within seven minutes, screw it, we’re going to this instead.
So we’ll see you all later this evening for the result of Theresa May’s confidence vote. What’s the worst that could happen?
On one level you have to feel a bit sorry for Scottish Unionists. Having believed until very late in the day that they’d win a crushing victory in the 2014 indyref and put the matter to bed for a century, they’ve never been able to relax since.
And this week the fear has them well and truly in its grip.
The hapless Scottish Secretary demonstrated the lack of self-awareness for which he’s famous when he said at the weekend that the thing he warned would threaten the Union (a defeat for the PM’s Brexit deal) was going to happen on Tuesday, at which point – having said he’d resign if the Union was threatened – he’s made it absolutely clear that he ISN’T going to resign.
Brexit isn’t really this site’s remit, which is why we’ve been relatively quiet in recent weeks as the UK’s shambolic exit from the EU hogs all the news and Scottish politics has been relegated to a largely-dormant backwater in the press.
Yes supporters don’t speak with one voice on the EU, and while we’re in favour of it we’ve long said that the indy movement can’t really move on until the fog clears and we know for sure what Brexit’s going to look like. Deciding whether to be part of the EU should be a decision for an independent Scotland to make, not a precondition.
But dear lord, this is such a mess it needs to be examined.
We all knew this already, of course. Last year we commissioned a poll from Panelbase which found an enormous 41-point gap between Yes and No voters on immigration. But it was still nice to have it both confirmed and laid out so clearly by Sir John Curtice on Good Morning Scotland earlier today.
(About 1h 55m in. We’re having some trouble recording sound on our new PC at the moment, we’ll get you a proper audio link as soon as we’ve figured it out.)
It’s worth keeping to hand the next time some witless Scottish Labour goon tries to tell you that independence is bad because it’s “separatist” and that voting for the Union is the international-solidarity option. Because that’s a flat-out lie.
We now have the verdicts on Brexit from three of the UK’s four nations. The Scottish Parliament, speaking for the Scottish nation, voted overwhelmingly this afternoon to reject both Theresa May’s draft agreement and leaving the EU without a deal.
We’re on about Day 79 of NoScottishPoliticsNewsGate (today’s big “EXCLUSIVE!” in the Herald is something we told you about last Friday, and was also an “exclusive” in yesterday’s Scottish Sun), so we found ourselves getting diverted by something else in the papers this morning.
The Scottish Daily Mail had a piece on the cost of train journeys from Scotland, and living in Bath you don’t need to tell us how scandalously expensive British railways are compared to almost any other country in the Northern Hemisphere.
But the Mail is the Mail, and it couldn’t help distorting even an open-goal of a story like that until it had almost no relation to reality. And it’s a very useful illustration, should anybody need yet another one, of how this country’s newspapers vastly mislead their readers without actually technically lying.
At a time of unprecedented political chaos and uncertainty, just about the only thing you can still count on is that for any given situation, senior Labour figures will issue proclamations both firmly in favour of it and stoutly opposed to it, usually the same day.
So the stories below, which are respectively from today’s Scotsman and today’s Times, won’t come as much of a shock to anyone.
But against the odds, we think we’ve made some sense of it.
Big Jock on Pick Your Poison: “Reform are an English national party. Any Scot voting for an English national party is deranged! Kelly is still spouting…” May 7, 16:03
robertkknight on Pick Your Poison: “Constituency paper duly spoiled… W.nkers, the lot of them! Pity about two separate pro-Indy parties on the regional list (I…” May 7, 15:37
Captain Caveman on The value bet: ““I couldn’t give a shiny shite what Mayor’s they vote for in another country today,” Er what? What are you…” May 7, 15:34
Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: “Nice try, Alf. I doubt very much that anybody half-decent fears the kind of people who cheer on lassie torturers.” May 7, 15:29
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “That’s what happens when you agree terms, (Minsk1 & Minsk2) get the United Nations to rubber stamp it & then…” May 7, 15:25
Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: ““Scotland has zero control over immigration” Bleeding obviously, if Scotland votes Reform at the next WM GE, Scotland has lots…” May 7, 15:24
Hatey McHateface on The value bet: ““a shiny shite what Mayor’s they vote” What Mayor’s what, Geri? Such a tiny little thing, yet completely and irrevocably…” May 7, 15:20
Hatey McHateface on The value bet: “Hae a haddie this time, Wally. And keep that free flipper still. Nae flapping doon below.” May 7, 15:15
Alf Baird on Pick Your Poison: ““who do we vote for to fix that?” Obviously, to end ‘that’ and the continued colonization of Scots we need…” May 7, 15:08
Geri on The value bet: “Aye James, Now that wouldn’t be deliberately interfering in another countries elections now would it? I couldn’t give a shiny…” May 7, 14:46
Captain Caveman on The value bet: ““Tick tock” Yeah, but that’s enough about your source material, eh pal. Tool.” May 7, 14:42
James on The value bet: “They bite every time. Bless. Comical.” May 7, 14:37
Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: “I forgot about the autopsy. I’ve been thinking about the wake. Bet there will be SFA put behind the bar.” May 7, 14:37
Hatey McHateface on The value bet: ““Tick Tock”, Wally Walrus? That’s ane o the fragrant Geri’s signature lines. Just how many identities are you posting under?” May 7, 14:20
Aidan on The value bet: “Oh aye does he, and this information was provided with supporting evidence to the police who arrested and prosecuted the…” May 7, 14:14
James on The value bet: “The three yoon stooges are all oot the day eh? Funny, Phil Boswell has 2 or 3 returning officer contacts…” May 7, 14:02
Hatey McHateface on The value bet: “Loving your Pictish support for ATLS, Northy. OK if I gatecrash the wake on Saturday? (That’s a rhetorical question :)…” May 7, 13:43
Hatey McHateface on The value bet: “Are there 2 CM’s? The famous one is a cheerleader for the tunnel-skulking, lassie-torturing ham ass scum.” May 7, 13:40
Hatey McHateface on The value bet: “Here’s another fish fer ye, James. Enjoy, but mind, baith flippers above the table!” May 7, 13:35
Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: “That’s a bit better, Confused. But I note you’re still being coy. Interesting that you believe it was US warmongering,…” May 7, 13:32
Hatey McHateface on Pick Your Poison: “Please revise and re-post, Confused. We need to know how to vote if we hate Dews.” May 7, 13:26
Captain Caveman on The value bet: “Yes that’s right James, it was … THEM!!! “ooo-oOOooOOO-ooOOHHH!!!”? Get the Bacofoil headgear ready, DEFCON1! (Alternatively, y’know maybe the source…” May 7, 13:14
Cynicus on Pick Your Poison: “Northcode says: 7 May, 2026 at 12:20 “VOTE FOR:” ======= Nobody! The key question here is whom to VOTE AGAINST?…” May 7, 13:12
Aidan on The value bet: “@Dan that comment was aimed at Geri not you, you at least seem to be one of the few BTL…” May 7, 13:10
Captain Caveman on Pick Your Poison: “@Cuphook Yes, it’s a major concern for many in the UK, including Scotland, and Reform is avowed to tackle it…” May 7, 13:01
Dan on The value bet: “AIdan says:”I’d guess this is all a bit of a game for you since you spend 100% of your time…” May 7, 12:51
Confused on Pick Your Poison: “Then theres the nutter parties – an abolish holyrood party (I appreciate the sentiment but – do you really think…” May 7, 12:50
Confused on Pick Your Poison: “ERECTION DAY on telly last night john curtice does not look well; the poor man looks like a cadaver what…” May 7, 12:46
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “Reform will fix nothing on immigration. That’s a global elite problem & we don’t get a vote on them. &…” May 7, 12:45
Cynicus on Pick Your Poison: “#No Votes SNP Zero For any Swinney bonehead reading this, BOTH -2 equals zero” May 7, 12:43