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Making numbers dance 86

Posted on February 18, 2016 by

Without a doubt our new favourite Unionist website is this one:

64percent

And it’s not just for the snazzy badges.

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A bold interpretation 333

Posted on February 11, 2016 by

There’s nothing unusual about reading something in the Scottish media that makes your eyes widen. But a piece we saw in the Courier earlier today stretched ours out to Clockwork Orange-like proportions.

couriereu1

Now that’s a pretty intriguing opening (as the bishop said to the actress). At first we took it to mean that an independent Scotland could effectively take over Britain’s EU membership in the event of a Leave vote, ending any debate about whether and when it would be admitted on its own.

But then the punchline arrived.

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The Living End 171

Posted on January 31, 2016 by

Something kept nagging at the back of our minds as we read today’s front-page lead story in Scotland On Sunday about a battle between finance secretary John Swinney and a number of Scottish councils.

sosliving

And then we remembered what it was.

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The Hammer Of The Fakehearts 214

Posted on January 18, 2016 by

Thanks to the Scottish Daily Mail, we’ve just spotted a piece by the Conservative MP Bernard Jenkin for City AM a few days ago. We had an inordinate amount of trouble getting the full article to display past the site’s incredibly over-zealous advert enforcer, so we’ve preserved it for posterity here.

There’s a gem in every paragraph. You’re going to like this one.

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Sometimes we can hardly stand it 173

Posted on January 17, 2016 by

apd

Okay, we’ll make this quick.

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He can’t get no satisfaction 342

Posted on December 16, 2015 by

This tweet mysteriously vanished from Blair McDougall’s Twitter timeline last night:

mcdoecd

We’re not sure why, as we know that Scottish Labour love nothing more than to attack the Scottish Government (no matter how ham-fistedly) over education.

And we’re pretty sure it’s not because McDougall felt guilty about picking out only the negative aspects of what Scotland’s biggest teaching union called a “largely positive picture” of the state of Scottish education – and which the OECD itself said contained “much to be positive about” – because if there’s one thing we know for sure about Blair it’s that his conscience isn’t troubled by misleading people.

Our best guess was that even he was just too embarrassed at having made an attack line out of the fact that 20% of the country’s schools were “only” rated “satisfactory”, thereby implying that “satisfactory” status was actually in some way unsatisfactory.

In doing so, of course, he was echoing the words of his hapless leader Kezia Dugdale, who in September told the Holyrood chamber that “no parent wants a satisfactory education for their child”. Maybe McDougall just realised belatedly that he was reading from the wrong month’s script.

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Not getting over it 312

Posted on December 12, 2015 by

A strange phenomenon we’ve remarked upon a few times since the independence referendum is the inexplicable undying rage of a certain subset of Unionist voters.

Having won the vote, a casual observer might expect them to be happy, but instead they appear to exist in a constant state of fury.

(Our own best guess is that they were expecting to triumph by a crushing margin of two or three to one – some fretted that it might only be a 20-point victory – and then suffered the double blow of a much closer result that kept the Yes movement very much alive coupled with a massive surge in SNP membership and support.)

smart28

A demented anti-SNP tactical-voting campaign for this year’s general election – led by, among others, a frothing ultra-Loyalist-nutter-type by the name of Andrew Skinner – recorded one of the most spectacular failures in history as the Nats captured 56 out of 59 Scottish seats, only narrowly missing the other three, and the party’s poll ratings have continued to rise since then.

So this week, Mr Skinner decided to try for a more manageable target.

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A deliberate vagueness 91

Posted on November 14, 2015 by

This one rather speaks for itself.

dugdalemurphy

(Data below from our latest Panelbase poll.)

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When two and two make anything you like 182

Posted on November 07, 2015 by

When it comes to Scottish Labour’s great brainwave about “restoring” Tory tax-credit cuts, the madness just won’t stop. Here’s Magnus Gardham, formerly political editor of Scotland’s staunchest Labour paper the Daily Record, in the Herald today:

gardhamaths

Read that one over a few times.

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The magical money machine 174

Posted on November 06, 2015 by

This is amazing, readers. It’s an extract from this afternoon’s The Big Debate on Radio Scotland, in which a journalist – the BBC’s Gordon Brewer – finally gets round to asking someone from Scottish Labour how they can make the extra £500m they need to fund their tax-credits “policy” while keeping all taxes the same.

The answer… well, the answer is quite something.

(The Big Debate, BBC Radio Scotland, 6 November 2015)
.

You might have to listen through a few times to get your head round it, because that really is what a grown woman actually tried to get away with in front of a live audience.

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Humbled and inspired 330

Posted on November 04, 2015 by

Some of you may not have seen this from last night, and it needs to be seen.

pgbja

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Things we haven’t made up 115

Posted on November 02, 2015 by

…from today’s Daily Record.

dugdaleproblem

Honestly, they’re really in there.

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    • Geri on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Another lie no doubt. She claimed in a TV interview, at her pretendy home with Peter sitting there, that she…May 30, 11:13
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “It’s brilliant: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002wyvs/have-i-got-news-for-you-series-71-episode-9May 30, 11:12
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002wyvs/have-i-got-news-for-you-series-71-episode-9 Brilliant – watch the first 13 minutes 🙂May 30, 11:08
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    • paul on Marvola The Memory Woman: “The question that is vexing me, and no doubt the entire nation, is whether ladies underwear identified by the police…May 30, 10:39
    • Kenneth Coutts on The Final Robbery: “Jeez, is that narcissistic or what , me me me. They are all traitors , sell outs , hing oots.…May 30, 10:05
    • MaryB on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She tried describing Peter Murrell as a mysogenist this week. That’s a new angle for her to get the sympathy…May 30, 09:39
    • SilentMajority on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Maybe even her self-conceited attitude knew that to be anywhere near a book titled ‘We Know What You Did’ was…May 30, 09:00
    • Dan on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Aye, and let’s not forget other examples of the linked corruption. Just how could Alphabetty Miss H have stated so…May 30, 08:58
    • Spartan 117 on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Digging up an event from almost 600 years ago. Well that’s convinced me about Independence then. Talking about clutching at…May 30, 08:48
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    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “And THAT Izzie is why your posts here have been so so very wrong. “Booked yer slot with the campervan”;…May 30, 04:30
    • twathater on Marvola The Memory Woman: “By fuck hatey McFuckwit you don’t half have a disturbed delusional mindset, your disturbed wee brain conjures up all sorts…May 30, 03:34
    • David McAdam on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Murrell and Sturgeon absolutely slaughtered on HIGFY by all the guests. Reduced SNP to a Friday night laughing stock. I…May 30, 02:57
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “BTW Meant to add; the English lost the Hundred Years’ War (as well) and were finally booted completely out of…May 30, 01:52
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “On this day in history, 1431. Joan of Arc, the Maid of Orleans, La Pucelle, her that led the French…May 30, 00:46
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    • Geri on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She looks like she’s a permanent resident of the kitchen these days. Especially around the fridge area. Aye, I know.…May 29, 22:16
    • Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““Everything that has emerged concerning the Murrell/Sturgeon affair is consistent with the explanatory framework provided by the political theory mentioned…May 29, 22:11
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Incredible that she employs an expensive solicitor and then ignores the “no comment” advice.May 29, 21:54
    • Confused on Marvola The Memory Woman: “poor little Nikki – “I don’t wanna … talk about it … ” – and yet she won’t stop talking…May 29, 21:53
    • paul on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I disagree. There is a good deal of good in hounding her (her passion partner has gone) as every time…May 29, 21:40
    • Jay on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Do tell us Chas, are you one of those sane, educated persons to whom you refer (in response to Alf)?…May 29, 21:00
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““In the period leading up to the launch of the police inquiry senior people in the SNP including the former…May 29, 20:20
    • bobo bunny on Marvola The Memory Woman: “if its a matrimonial home, I dont think it can be sold, until they are legally divorcedMay 29, 20:06
    • bobo bunny on Marvola The Memory Woman: “she’s at the hay festival todayMay 29, 20:01
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