So it looks like the USA has elected a mad orange rapist convicted of 34 felonies who could yet be in jail by the time of his inauguration. (He would remain President even if that happened, which would be really funny.) And we can’t even blame them for it, because the alternative they were offered was, remarkably and stupendously, worse.
In the 1990s, Dr. Robert Smith, a surgeon at Falkirk Royal Infirmary, performed a pair of amputations on two men. Neither of the men involved had anything physically wrong with them, but both were suffering from apotemnophilia – a rare psychiatric condition involving the desire to have healthy limbs amputated.
Sufferers, counterintuitively, claim not to feel “whole” with four limbs and obsess over having their unwanted body parts chopped off. Smith argued the surgeries were life-saving, claiming the patients would commit suicide otherwise.
Apotemnophiles, like autogynephiles, insist that there is no erotic element, but it was later discovered that one of the men Smith operated on ran an amputee fetish website.
In many ways, the fabricated, hysterical furore of Humza Yousaf Vs Elon Musk is the ultimate in summer-silly-season politics stories.
Absurdly plainly, the former First Minister ISN’T going to take any legal action against the billionaire owner of Twitter. He only likes bullying small nurseries, and even then he doesn’t follow through. He didn’t even sue us for calling him racist a few months ago, so there’s zero chance he’s going to square up to the world’s richest man.
You’d have to be living in a pretty strict prison not to have heard the big story from today’s Olympics in Paris, in which male Algerian cheat Imane Khelefi was put in a boxing ring with young Italian woman Angela Carini and allowed to hit her in the head for 46 seconds until she retired, in tears and in fear for her safety, saying “I had to preserve my life”.
Sound like your kind of fun, men? It’s surprisingly easy!
(Including but not limited to International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia; International Pronouns Day; International Transgender Day Of Visibility; Transgender Awareness Week and of course the whole of “Pride Month”, which is now an almost entirely trans-focused event).
Citizens of Scotland and the UK were solemnly instructed to “remember the many trans people whose lives have been tragically cut short by violence”, although weirdly none of the politicians issuing the orders actually named any.
However, since we’re endlessly being told that trans people are the most marginalised, oppressed and vulnerable members of our society, and that an actual “trans genocide” is currently in progress, we expect there have been loads.
The greatest intellectual weakness of the independence movement is its attitude towards Trident, and trying to reason with people about it (whether readers or other independence activists) is consistently one of the most frustrating aspects of writing Wings, because nuclear disarmers and Unionists are equally impervious to logic on the subject.
The UK’s nuclear “deterrent” – or as it was more accurately and memorably described by the former Vulcan nuclear bomber squadron commander Air Commodore Alastair Mackie, “a virility symbol, like a stick-on hairy chest” – is the greatest gift to a future Scottish independence negotiating team imaginable.
The rest of the UK gets a lot of economic and infrastructural benefits from Scotland, like water and energy, but ultimately it’s not massively bothered about those. Water is not yet a critical area and energy can be sourced elsewhere, and in any event Brexit shows us that the UK is more than willing to do itself enormous harm in the service of ideological political goals.
The reality-TV let’s say “personality” Kelly Given – who Wings readers previously met on a trip to New York for Tartan Week with a raft of SNP let’s say “celebrities” a couple of months ago – has been off on another nice holiday.
Last night she told both the viewers of BBC Scotland’s “Seven Days” that she’d just spent three weeks on an island in Greece, where apparently she was quite shocked to discover that the Mediterranean nation was hot in July.
There’s still nothing happening in Scottish politics, so inspired by the Hieland Coo from yesterday’s godawful Economist front-page story, and for those of you who don’t use Twitter, and by reader request, meet some of my new friends from the last couple of weeks of strolling around Bath, guarding against ursine incursion.
Del G on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Your Party had not so much a faint hope as no hope of impacting the Scottish election: formed far too…” Mar 26, 22:46
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““John Swinney has said it is “not a coincidence” that the UK Government announced its decision to block a Chinese-backed…” Mar 26, 22:41
Del G on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Your Party had not so much a faint hope as no hope of impacting the Scottish election: formed far too…” Mar 26, 22:39
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I wouldn’t feel safe visiting Holyrood. Imagine if you were a tourist stumbling intae the gayest gaff in all of…” Mar 26, 20:22
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Couldn’t have said it better myself. Totally agree. I have never been to prison but I believe the first question…” Mar 26, 20:15
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “He’s a nasty piece of work. That was him behind the astro turfing fake no borders campaign during indyref. Caught…” Mar 26, 20:00
Frank Gillougley on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Dan, 1kW Electricity for 8p 1 m3 of gas is 23p 1 litre of diesel is 135p in Hungary the…” Mar 26, 19:56
Confused on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “wonder if jordan the bummer will be taking excessively long showers in addiewell, dropping the soap repeatedly and asking if…” Mar 26, 19:39
Dan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Hi Frank, any idea how much regular diesel is out where you are? I had to do a double take…” Mar 26, 19:34
George Ferguson on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Day 1 of the election and I am already thinking about a complaint to Ofcom and the Electoral Commission. An…” Mar 26, 19:34
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““Former SNP politician sexually assaulted five young men and boys Jordan Linden, 30, is the former leader of North Lanarkshire…” Mar 26, 19:22
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “It says the crappiest newspaper in Scotland “Outgoing MSPs who made tough decisions on our behalf deserve thanks” I say…” Mar 26, 19:11
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Would you look at that. Just in time for LA28 Olympic games. The yanks certainly wouldn’t want every Tik Toker…” Mar 26, 19:06
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Sounds like Swinney has already excepted defeat. How long can the SNP cry wolf before the public say no more.” Mar 26, 18:44
Sven on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Young Lochinvar @ 18.04. “Rum, Buggery & the Lash”, sounds like a good election slogan for a Trans Political Party.…” Mar 26, 18:38
Frank Gillougley on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I am thinking, dangerous I know, but something better change… so here’s my tuppenth worth on the current surreal absurdity…” Mar 26, 18:35
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The daily rainbow comic the National actually printed Offord’s joke yesterday but only so that they could give a screaming…” Mar 26, 18:18
George Ferguson on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Classic STV coverage. Don’t mention Jordan Lindon was SNP. But foam at the mouth at a 2018 comment made at…” Mar 26, 18:16
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The neverendum, I remember Mr Pete Wishart saying in 2019 through the Rag newspaper that claims to support Independence, we…” Mar 26, 18:11
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “A hoy there me hearties! Jolly Rogers aloft as HMS Raleigh and HMS Drake reprise the English Elizabethan role of…” Mar 26, 18:04
Sven on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I wonder what type of Egregore a collective of would be Picts would bring into being. I sometimes feel that…” Mar 26, 18:02
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Cards on the table, I don’t really fully understand the science behind the proposed tests but the main thing is…” Mar 26, 17:54
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I suggest you go Google public opinion polling figures on the illegal invasion of Iran. Then the polling on jenny.…” Mar 26, 17:35
Red on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Sven I do support officially renaming Glasgow to “Funky Town” Unfortunately, Susan Aitken ate Funky Town” Mar 26, 15:52
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Totally agree, the Scots suck… the Picts, however, were a class act, and their descendants (myself included) are carrying on…” Mar 26, 15:31
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““Maybe Alba ?” Absolutely no way – Alba is a Scotti Gaelic word meaning ‘bright’ or some shit… from the…” Mar 26, 15:20
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Apparently the SNP have found enough enough money to run its “biggest and best campaign” over the next six weeks.” Mar 26, 15:14
Ian Smith on Irony you can’t buy: “Surely the book advance would not be immediate income, but would have been handled in am much more tax sensitive…” Mar 26, 15:07
