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You Are The Boris Johnson 174

Posted on August 21, 2020 by

Much as we might wish otherwise, we haven’t been able to help noticing other pro-indy websites doubling down on the “BOTH VOTES SNP, TRUST IN QUEEN NICOLA, THE 10TH MANDATE IS THE ONE THAT’LL WORK!” routine lately.

And however much we’ve tried to get people to grasp the seemingly-obvious fact that Boris Johnson is not looking at this debate from the same viewpoint we all are, reality doesn’t seem to be getting through to everyone yet.

So we thought we’d try a new tack.

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Darwin’s Failures 305

Posted on August 20, 2020 by

The BBC ran a completely insane story this week about a transman (ie a mentally ill woman) who almost died of kidney failure because she didn’t tell her doctors what sex she really was. The standout paragraph was probably the one pictured below, in which the atom-brained narcissist imbecile explained to a startled nation that apparently having a mental disorder also changes your physical biology:

(Also, y’know, “cute and awesome!” is definitely how men talk.)

But anyway. When we commission opinion polls, we’ve often noted that in any given poll you can expect around 5-10% of respondents to vote for even the most seemingly ridiculous options – either as a “joke”, or because they’re too dim to have understood the question, or whatever.

And last week we thought we’d put that to the test.

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Kartoon Klown Korner 202

Posted on August 15, 2020 by

Our regular weekend comedian Chris Cairns is off on a golf holiday this weekend (in fairness he’s only had four so far this year and it’s already August), but this is a sicker joke than anything he’s ever come up with.

We haven’t covered Martin Keating’s court case because we have some unanswered concerns about its transparency and communication, but it’s doing just fine without us, having passed £100,000 of its £155,000 funding target earlier today.

It’s bad enough that some random activist is having to do this and pay for it when the Scottish Government – who SHOULD have been doing it three years ago – sits with its thumb up its hole staring out of the window, but having their representatives actively attack and try to sabotage it is disgusting to a degree we can barely find words for.

We’ve had our fair share of doubts about stuff of late, but if Scottish independence achieved nothing more than putting a useless wage-stealing tosser like Pete Wishart out of a cushy Westminster job-for-life, it’d be worth doing for that alone.

A plague of fools 265

Posted on August 14, 2020 by

Sometimes people are so stupid it’s legitimately scary. For example, all the Unionist politicians in Scotland who appear to genuinely think voters won’t notice that the recent exams catastrophe affected England (run by the Tories) and Wales (run by Labour) even worse than it did Scotland, and so they keep screaming for John Swinney’s head while having nothing to say about the even worse messes bursting all over their own parties’ respective jurisdictions.

(Esler misses the fact that the “deletions” were all actually retweets of a single tweet on the Scottish Conservatives which was deleted, but the point is the same.)

It genuinely boggles our mind that anyone, let alone a professional politician whose job it is to have their finger on the public pulse, could possibly imagine they’d ever get away with such utterly brainless naked hypocrisy, apparently believing that voters have memories less than 24 hours long and enjoy having their intelligence insulted.

(Incidentally, we can’t see any good answer to the exams problem. Either you have one year of massively artificially inflated grades, with all the tricky ramifications that presents further down the line, or you have a year of grotesque injustices to thousands of blameless individual students that are logistically impossible to remedy. The former is probably the lesser of the two evils, which poses the question of why the Scottish Government was too monumentally dim to see it coming and why it wasted a week defending the latter option before inevitably caving in and doing the sensible thing it was always going to have to do and should have just done in the first place.)

But it’s not just politicians.

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England’s prisoners 289

Posted on August 09, 2020 by

Labour sub-faction the Scottish Fabians this weekend published a call for “a new Act Of Union”, an idea that’s been kicking around in the party for some time since failed branch office manager Kezia Dugdale came up with it in 2016.

And at first it sounds almost intelligent and democratic, proposing a clearly defined path by which any of the four constituent nations of the UK could become independent.

But then you get to the small print.

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Just another day in 2020 108

Posted on July 31, 2020 by

The Wings Over Scotland Twitter account was – whether coincidentally or otherwise – banned very shortly after it made this famous quote from “1984” its pinned tweet:

So it was only ever a matter of time until a trans activist went there:

That’s an MSc in maths, an MA in statistics and a PhD student in statistics at Harvard University there, readers, publicly calling for the flexible redefinition of the meaning of the number 2 so that two plus two can sometimes make five. Humanity is doomed.

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Footprints on the Moon 231

Posted on July 30, 2020 by

Well, here’s a place we’ve been before.

Especially alert veteran readers will recall that this site, too, has had its advertising removed from a railway environment for being “political”, on the flimsiest of grounds. We doubt whether excessively-named feminist activist Kellie-Jay “Posie Parker” Keen-Minshull will be overly distressed about this turn of events – our experience was that it generated far more publicity than the adverts themselves could ever have hoped for, PLUS we got all our money back. Win-win!

But it’s still a disturbing occurrence for all sorts of obvious reasons.

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The Cabaret Voltaire 272

Posted on July 29, 2020 by

In the light of several news stories today, we thought it’d be useful to keep a record of which organisations and individuals had now publicly expressed strong reservations or outright opposition to the Scottish Government’s alarming and deeply illiberal proposed new Hate Crime Bill, and which had expressed support.

This list will be updated as required.

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BREAKING: Pope still Catholic 268

Posted on July 28, 2020 by

Alert readers may have noticed that the hypothetical Wings list party is once again the talk of the steamie, with the usual suspects stamping their feet and pouting about it yet again on social media, in particular the firmly-ensconced SNP MP Pete Wishart and the worryingly obsessed former poll-analysis website WINGS OVER SCOTLAND IS BAD AND TERRIBLE AND STUART CAMPBELL SOMETIMES DOES SWEARS SO NOBODY WOULD EVER VOTE FOR HIM! Goes Pop.

(We’re not sure where this sudden outbreak of 18th-century Puritanism about Scottish people using colourful language has come from, to be honest. It seems the weirdest and least plausible grounds for objection imaginable in a country that’s literally world-famous for its enthusiastic embrace of swearing, but *shrug*.)

The trigger was a bizarre piece in yesterday’s Courier (also picked up by the National, the Evening Express and others). They phoned us last week ostensibly to talk about a new website set up by a bunch of loony Unionist zoomers who with amusingly ironic timing have named themselves “The Majority”, and whether we thought they’d have any impact or be able to attract funding.

We chatted perfectly amiably to the reporter for several minutes on the subject, so we were quite surprised when the story that eventually appeared didn’t contain a single mention of them, and instead was solely about the Wings party, which he’d also asked us a couple of “Oh, by the way, while I’m here”-type questions about.

So let’s just clarify a couple of things for the record (again).

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On the other hand 90

Posted on July 24, 2020 by

Alert readers will probably have noticed that earlier today we featured a post by SNP MP Kenny MacAskill making the seemingly-unsurprising statement that the purpose of his party is to “bring about the end of the British state”.

So we thought he might have wanted to check with his colleague Stewart McDonald, the SNP’s defence spokeman and an obsessive Russophobe, when we saw a snide quote from him in a Belfast Telegraph story disparaging former leader Alex Salmond (who’d advocated the reunification of Ireland during a chat with ex-Taoiseach Bertie Ahern) for the heinous crime of “proposing the disruption of the United Kingdom”.

It later transpired that there’d been an error and the quote should have been (and now is) attributed to a Scottish Conservatives spokesman.

But we couldn’t help noticing the complete lack of shock with which the comment was received on social media in the several hours between its publication and correction, as if nobody thought it at all implausible that McDonald would have said such a thing. (And indeed, it’s barely different from what he HAS said about Salmond’s RT show.) There were plenty harsh criticisms of him, but we didn’t see a single tweet suggesting that a mistake might have been made.

Never more so than in 2020, sometimes fiction is more believable than truth.

Nationalism rejection of the day 141

Posted on July 23, 2020 by

Maybe the flag could have been a bit bigger, but a solid 8/10 for the staunch rejection of all things nationalistic in this picture and tweet.

Jamie Halcro Johnston, incidentally, secured a whopping 4.1% of the Orkney vote for the Tories in the 2016 election, losing his deposit in the party’s lowest vote share ever (the nadir of a long slide from 23% in 2003), so we’re not absolutely sure he’s qualified to speak on behalf of the whole constituency, but we’ll let that one go this time in the light of such an absolutely stunning rejection of nationalism. Trebles all round.

Giving up on independence 411

Posted on July 17, 2020 by

It’s hard to express quite what a revolting piece of rank hypocrisy this is.

Behold, ladies and gentlemen and other genders, some pious little twerp whose own comfy seat in the Scottish Parliament was secured entirely by what he calls “cheating”, saying that nobody but him and his mates are allowed to cheat now.

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    • factchecker on When the law breaks the law: “Many thanks for the injection of fact, NC. “Bring, Bryng, v. Also: pryng. P.t. and p.p. brocht, broght, broight; broucht,…Feb 23, 08:46
    • Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “The ignorance of Scotland’s colonists (unionists or colonialists if preferred… same thing) on all things Scottish does not in the…Feb 23, 08:30
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “He might have been struggling with one of those colds you get at this time of year. The worst of…Feb 23, 08:08
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Why is it that every time somebody starts banging oan aboot us reclaiming oor indigenous linguistic, cultural and political voice,…Feb 23, 08:03
    • Fin on The Longest Road: “Aye no political agendas at all on the mike Graham show, guy thinks you can grow concrete. Wings level of…Feb 23, 07:55
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    • Iain More on When the law breaks the law: “I think you mean burlin in his grave?Feb 23, 06:03
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    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH What exactly don’t you understand about the 15th of March? Like missing-in-action bestie of yours (overweight/ overblown) Wilma Flintstone…Feb 22, 23:58
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH @ 10.35 Nope! There’s nothing that indentured you (through coercion) beyond your time of service. Look it up unless…Feb 22, 23:47
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Alf Given a perusal of tedious posts and GPs Scotchland Office and (ahem) “sponsors” unrebuked bombshell then I think it’s…Feb 22, 22:51
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “A bit early, YL. You’re never in the zone much before 2 AM. I think that oath of allegiance you…Feb 22, 22:35
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Didn’t he also say “never try to introduce new ideas to those whose heids are dense as stone”? He should…Feb 22, 22:27
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH Given GP as good as outed you as a Scotchland Office stooge further up BTL then should any “rational…Feb 22, 22:17
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Surely exactly as predicted by Fanon and Memmi, Alf. I do wonder why nobody is ever up for dealing with…Feb 22, 22:16
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on When the law breaks the law: “Not sure whether the late Ruaraidh MacThòmais / Derick Thomson (who was certainly committed to Scottish independence) is preoccupied in…Feb 22, 21:34
    • Cynicus on When the law breaks the law: “@Alf Baird, 22 February, 2026 at 7:43 pm ======== Alf, I commend to you the advice of HH Asquith: “Never…Feb 22, 20:27
    • Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: “You must be on piece-work from whoever pays you, Hatey, that’s 28 worthless diversionary contributions on this article alone from…Feb 22, 19:43
    • Saffron Robe on When the law breaks the law: “I agree entirely with both your comments, Twathater. The current crop of Scottish politicians are indeed merely actors for independence…Feb 22, 19:40
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Graves used to be a lot more spacious. Shrinkflation gets its teeth into everything. Back in the Victorian Age, when…Feb 22, 18:18
    • Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Although “turn” was most likely used first in a speech given by a Mr Windham on the 4th November 1801…Feb 22, 18:02
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““comprehensively lost the argument in Scotland vis-a-vis EU membership. the ship has sailed” Blethers. The argument has never been made.…Feb 22, 17:48
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Surely “brocht low”, Northy, not “brought low”. It angers me more than mere words can express that I’m better at…Feb 22, 17:41
    • Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Since there’s nothing much happening on here again theday… here’s anither fragment of a braw poem scrieved by that most…Feb 22, 17:29
    • agentx on When the law breaks the law: ““Alex Salmond will be rolling in his grave” ——————————————— The usual phrase is “turning in his grave”.Feb 22, 17:27
    • Andy Ellis on When the law breaks the law: “@Hatey There’s no way the EU would have accepted separate memberships for Scotland and rUK on the same terms and…Feb 22, 16:58
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““We’re economically significantly worse off than if we’d have become independent, because if that had happened brexit would never have…Feb 22, 16:27
    • Andy Ellis on When the law breaks the law: “@Hatey Those who like to over-exaggerate the disaster of leaving one union (Brexit) sabotage the chances of leaving another (Indy).…Feb 22, 15:50
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Gie’s a brek, Alf. Real nationalists ken fit self-determination is. It’s just the faux nationalists who want Scotland immediately locked…Feb 22, 15:31
    • Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: “““real” nationalists should be focused on… self determination” That is correct, but nationalists also need to better understand what self-determination…Feb 22, 14:47
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