Our alert readers will probably be aware of the psychological phenomenon commonly known as the five stages of grief. If not, there’s a rather good piece by Andrew Nicoll in today’s Scottish Sun about it in the context of Scottish Labour.
But while perceptive, Nicoll is a little behind the times, because it appears that the party’s branch office manager Jim Murphy has invented a sixth.
Welcome, viewers, to the new final stage of grief: delusion.
The Sunday Times front page today reports (although in fact we can’t find the story anywhere on its website or in its iPad app) the 8,745th “intervention” by Gordon Brown in Scottish politics, the thing which is at least notionally still his actual day job.
We’re going to need someone to explain to us why even the punch-drunk inhabitants of Scottish Labour HQ could possibly imagine that to be a good idea.
A variant on the story below appears in most of the right-wing press today.
That’s the Daily Mail version, which is the most detailed. The Express’s reporting was similar. But in order to manufacture a grievance on behalf of UKIP and the Tories, every paper which covers the story is required to torture the data beyond all reason.
In the wake of the latest Ashcroft polls, the only line being deployed by Scottish Labour is that the projected outcome of an SNP landslide would be great news for the Conservatives and lead to David Cameron returning in triumph to Downing Street. One would presume, then, that the Tory press is delighted by the prospect.
So let’s check out some stories from today’s Daily Mail and Scottish Daily Mail.
We know we’ve made this point several times before. But can someone explain to us again how there’s no significant difference between the (broad, collective) political outlook of the respective peoples of Scotland and England? Because if there isn’t, doing this kind of thing just doesn’t make any sense at all.
“Scottish Labour” apparently launched its election “manifesto” somewhere in Scotland today. The “leader” of the fringe “party”, Jon Murnaghan or something, seemingly got a bit confused and made a number of pledges regarding devolved issues over which the Westminster government to be elected next month will have no control whatsoever, and would properly belong in a manifesto for the 2016 Scottish Parliament election.
Mr Morley or whatever his name is, who – assuming he wins his own seat – will be an insignificant backbench MP in the event of Ed Miliband’s Labour party winning the election, also said a bunch of other stuff about the SNP being “bad” because they refused to tell him what would be in their 2016 manifesto, further supporting the idea that the agitated branch official had lost track of what year it was.
So, let’s just get this one straight, this morning’s English edition of The Sun – two parties with 316 seats are “stealing” an election from two parties with 309 seats?
Want us to walk you through that whole “counting” thing again?
Last night’s juxtaposition of somewhat contradictory front covers on the Herald and Scottish Daily Mail was modestly amusing, but nothing new. We pointed out weeks ago that papers on both the left and the right were – often on the same days – painting the SNP as hand-in-glove allies of either Labour or the Tories according to whatever suited their own agendas, and nothing’s changed in that respect.
But it’s interesting to take a look behind the headlines of the respective stories and see the degree to which the truth can be bent, exaggerated or in some cases simply made up from thin air.
But the most remarkable thing happened at the end.
That, readers, is quite the admission. That’s a party which has utterly dominated UK politics in Scotland for six decades openly acknowledging that its entire campaign in the last three weeks will be based on railing against a complete fantasy.
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Burnham gave him a wee piece of Manchesterism to play with. Said “Here you go, John, you can be King…” Sep 4, 23:41
James on Anything But That: “Cheers, girls; you’ve proved my point. As expected.” Sep 4, 23:10
willie on Anything But That: “Water was hived into East , West and North before it it was fettled up to become Scottish Water. A…” Sep 4, 23:05
willie on Anything But That: “Water was hived into East , West and North before it it was fettled up to become Scottish Water. A…” Sep 4, 22:47
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “@ James says: 4 September, 2026 at 9:33 pm “all they have is inults” Side splitting for two reasons, the…” Sep 4, 22:25
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““Fourteen health boards into two” Why two? Theoretical mathematicians argues there are only 3 numbers worth dealing with: zero, one…” Sep 4, 22:18
Aidan on Anything But That: “Oh it’s “James” – this should be good Adult nappy.” Sep 4, 21:59
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Baby Swinney says “We are going to make the NHS great again. Believe me. We’re going to march down there…” Sep 4, 21:42
James on Anything But That: “oh, Yoon pile-on. As usual all they have is inults. Keep going, Alf, you’re getting to them. Truth hurts and…” Sep 4, 21:33
Aidan on Anything But That: “So if you reject the authority of the courts, are you proposing for your ideas to lead to a violent…” Sep 4, 21:24
Chas on Anything But That: “I fail to see the detailed analysis. I do see the usual mince. Figures plucked out of thin air yet…” Sep 4, 21:19
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““No person or institution that took part in negotiating, agreeing, signing, or ratifying the 1707 Treaty of Union ever held…” Sep 4, 21:01
Xaracen on Anything But That: “@Aidan; The question of lawful authority in 1707 is not a matter for judicial discretion. It is a matter of…” Sep 4, 20:58
Aidan on Anything But That: “Yes Alf – your tautological proposition is: – if Scotland was wealthier than Norway (because) then Scotland would be wealthier…” Sep 4, 20:49
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““places a liberated Scotland above Norway” Wow, fifty years of Scotland’s oil wealth being “plundered by England”. Fifty years of…” Sep 4, 20:42
Aidan on Anything But That: “If it’s irrefutable Xaracen – then why not argue it in court where these matters are properly determined?” Sep 4, 20:06
Chas on Anything But That: “The usual mince from the supposedly learned professor. Figures plucked from thin air and a conclusion that does not stand…” Sep 4, 19:51
Xaracen on Anything But That: “@Aidan; “Ultimately – those proposing independence are those proposing to change the status quo.” And so they absolutely should! The…” Sep 4, 19:48
Alf Baird on Anything But That: ““If there is anybody who genuinely believes in this £150+ billion a year figure” Well here’s another quite detailed analysis…” Sep 4, 19:42
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Seems like hardly any time since you were telling us it’s £200 billion a year. Whatever, what’s £50 billion between…” Sep 4, 18:52
Alf Baird on Anything But That: ““The court in The Hague reckons the Orcs owe $4.22 billion” Small beer, or the cost of one dodgy aircraft…” Sep 4, 16:34
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Respect to the Norwegians. They’re rediscovering their inner Viking and taking back control of the seas around their coastline. All…” Sep 4, 14:28
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Aye, James, breaths there as many as even ten True Sovereign Scots who have not, on reading your post, redoubled…” Sep 4, 13:42
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: ““highly valuable natural resources” Odd that nobody, either in Scotland or outside, knew we had any highly valuable natural resources…” Sep 4, 13:36
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Dear Slave, Shut up and eat your porridge or we will stop your privileges. Yours faithfully Sir Biggus ‘Fluffy’ Dickus…” Sep 4, 13:22
James Che on Anything But That: “There is ni UK parliament concerning Scotland, as the UK parliament has a start date of origin of 1800, When…” Sep 4, 12:03
James Che on Anything But That: “Willie, Jacob rees Mog was on his podcast yesterday praising that should the lights go out, not to worry as…” Sep 4, 11:58
Northcode on Anything But That: ““Plunder Scotland (UK) is a carpetbagging operation largely owned by non-Scottish, foreign ‘investors’ and overseen by Westminster who takes a…” Sep 4, 11:15
