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The wheels keep turning

Posted on April 11, 2015 by

That slacker Chris Cairns is on holiday again, readers. But don’t worry, we’ve still got some chucklesome weekend funnies for you.

wheeloflolz

We promise that we haven’t made any of the above up. They’re all genuine versions of the tactical-voting diagram being shared around social media by the demented Loyalist extremists and general-purpose zoomers of the “SNPout” movement.

Alert readers may have spotted that the diagram keeps changing. One of them tells Unionists to vote Tory in six seats, one says seven seats and one says 10 seats. Edinburgh West is Lib Dem twice and Tory once. Argyll and Bute is Tory in two of the images and Lib Dem in another. Dumfries & Galloway appears and vanishes at will.

There seems to be no way of telling which is the most up-to-date recommendation, and therefore who flute-and-penny-whistle enthusiasts are meant to be voting for to keep the evil Nats from getting in and eating everyone’s babies. The campaign claims to have 600 activists (around 10 per Westminster seat) knocking doors passing on the message, but we’re not sure if they go round telling everyone again when it changes.

(In the aforementioned Argyll & Bute, for example, which covers over 2600 square miles stretching from Tobermory in the north and Campbeltown in the south all the way out to Helensburgh in the east, that’s a lot of hiking and ferry rides for 10 people.)

We were thinking of knocking up a few fake versions ourselves and seeding them onto Facebook and Twitter to add to the confusion, but frankly the Pouters are so dim we think they’re doing a grand job all on their own.

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    144 to “The wheels keep turning”

    1. Capella says:

      Ha ha! Where I live the Tories are voting Lib Dem and the Liberals are voting Tory. Except the large numbers who have defected to SNP of course.

    2. cearc says:

      Diversion tactics, that’s what this is.

      Blaming Chris when the real question should be:

      ‘Where’s our Lowry-esque Deputy Cartoonist?’

    3. Hoss Mackintosh says:

      Ha – I knew this would happen.

      I my seat they are voting tactically for the wrong party as our canvassers know who is running second to the SNP.

      Well – we are not going to correct them are we. 🙂 🙂 🙂

      Tricky this tactical voting thing.

    4. fred blogger says:

      no they’re all accurate in there own realities, but the differences they report are caused by intostella distortions in the space time continuum.
      see the works of composer carl orff.
      oh life the wheel of fortune, and the fools.

    5. j says:

      Social media being in existence there already are piss takes of it online. A quick google image search showed there’s a SNP Pacmac version and another ‘tactical voting wheel’ which is completely SNP coloured.

    6. morgatron says:

      Aw, god love them.

    7. Calgacus says:

      Funny isn’t the word Rev. Zoomers the lot of them.

    8. ClanDonald says:

      Russell Brown the Labour MP/ candidate for Dumfries & Galloway claims on his Facebook page that he knows who is behind this campaign. He says they live in Dumfries & Galloway and that they are Tory. He claims that the #SNPOut campaign is a front for a Tory initiative to increase their seats in Scotland. He urged all his Labour followers to unlike the #SNPOut page on Facebook. Ordinary mother, Claire Lally posted back “that’s terrible”.

      He’s biased of course as he himself fell for the scam, only objecting when he realised they were getting him to support a scheme that was campaigning to replace him with a Tory, LOL.

      Apparently #SNPOut have been on the streets of Dumfries & Galloway with the Tories, leafleting vote Tory. Again I got this information from Russell Brown’s Facebook posts.

      Any Labour voter who falls for this scam (to increase Tory seats in Scotland to 10, aye right) deserves to get David Cameron back for the next 5 years. What fools they would be.

      I’ll try and find a link.

    9. ErinT says:

      The SNPout lot seem really nasty. I’ve seen vile cybernat stuff thrown in the direction of SNP supporters but, to me, the SNPout types much better fit that title. Minds warped by nationalistic fervour. Such a pity.

    10. iclare (@iclare1) says:

      @DavidJFHalliday does far nicer wheels than @SNPout
      Works of art.

    11. jock wishart says:

      Tactical voting advice :
      If you are not voting SNP don’t vote.

    12. Tamson says:

      And remember folks, if you catch an actual Labour Party member with one, report it. It’s explicitly clear in the Labour Party rules not to advocate tactical voting where a Labour candidate is standing.

    13. Marcia says:

      More like 600 fake twitter activists set up by that very right wing Labour mannie.

    14. Callum says:

      Now we know what the daily record will print on its front page the day before the election. #VowReturns. I wonder how legal that would be?

    15. ErinT says:

      And to add to things, the voting suggestions for some of those constituencies must have been determined by names out of a hat. Some of them are so laughably off base that the vote would be completely wasted.

    16. Adrian B says:

      Only the Tories will really get more votes through this. Having voted Tory then you are more likely to do so again. Was the one of the main instigators of this not found to be a geologist in the tracking industry who has plenty to gain from any Government with positive fracking policies.

      More power to these idiots and those that spoof them – the more blue or yellow that these tactical types see the more they will just vote Tory in 2015 & probably 2016 to be the opposition to the SNP in Holyrood.

    17. Geoff Huijer says:

      Why don’t Labour and Conservative just do the
      decent thing and merge?

      Their policies are pretty much interchageable anyway.

    18. ErinT says:

      Can I make fun of the MAXIMUM UNITY tagline?

    19. Swami Backverandah says:

      Shouldn’t be too long and we’ll be seeing the wagon.
      The one the wheels have fallen off.

    20. Helena Brown says:

      I reckon they will end up cancelling each other out, I just was about to give them some advice and I thought hell, let them.

    21. jethro says:

      OMG! They have 600 activists?

      Only another 105,000 to go and they will have as many as the SNP!

      We’re all doomed. Doomed I tell you….!

    22. Clydebuilt says:

      Guys N Gals……don’t give the game away…….let the all star unionists work it out for themselves.

    23. galamcennalath says:

      We need a wheel with 32 most difficult seats for the SNP to win telling everyone there to tactically vote SNP to keep anyone else from winning. Simps. Easy peazy. Tactical voting at its most decisive!

      If we really want to spread confusion, then we could add 3 more wheels of fortune. Each in turn telling either Con, Lab or Lib to vote SNP where such tactical voting would be most effective.

      Then, hows about another 3 showing which would be the best seats in Con+Lab then Con+Lib and Lab+Lib should vote SNP.

      Much confusion, more SNP votes 🙂

    24. MajorBloodnok says:

      Which one is the BBC version?

    25. thingy says:

      Demented. Every last one of them.

    26. Robert Craig says:

      Loyal Orange Disorder: symptoms include by aren’t limited to, red rash at the back of the neck, speech impediment, pronouncing words ending in ‘gh’ as ‘ff’, corrpulant (particularly around the face) with florid colouring, bulging neck veins, hoarse voice, projected phlegm, a tendency to dress in pseudo military uniforms in pastel colours

    27. Bob says:

      For the longest time I thought #SNPout was actually SN Pout and was like #sexysocialism.

      Truth is much funnier

    28. Dan Huil says:

      Tactical tactical voting? Oh what a tangled unionist web they weave…

    29. The Man in the Jar says:

      How appropriate it would be if these “wheels” were produced as “tax disc holders”. They would seem to be as useful as one.

    30. RMF Brown says:

      I’m going slightly OT here, but to continue the discussion on the previous post, Macart has summed it up rather nicely. Yes, people might disagree with FFA Vs full indy, but we still need a large block of SNP MPs down at Westminster to make sure we’re not getting shafted. And whatever concession they can wring out of Westminster can only help the cause.

      Personally, I’ll always be in favour of the gradualist approach, myself.

    31. mogabee says:

      I wish they would make up their minds re- Argyll&Bute…

      *I’m confused waiting for which party to vote for* NOT!

      Total numpties…

    32. ArtyHetty says:

      Love it, the wheels of misfortune. That symbol and pretendy flag just looks silly but at least the saltire is not cut in half. The ‘Scotland’s choice’ in the background, subliminal messaging?
      Scotland will choose, many many have woken up to the fact that a vote for slab is akin to turkeys voting for xmas.

    33. Kalmar says:

      I see what you did there, man in a jar 🙂

    34. Swami Backverandah says:

      “Tactical voting advice :
      If you are not voting SNP don’t vote.”

      That’s brilliant.

      To stop the SNP, don’t vote.
      This means the SNP will only get 59 seats AT THE MOST!
      Don’t forget. This is a General Election.
      To form Government in Westminster, you need at least 325 seats. Therefore, they can’t win.

      That should work for the Pouters.

    35. gordoz says:

      Rev:

      Listened to GMS by accident this morning – via background on computer.

      Interesting comments from Prof Curtice re above – saysit will make little or no difference but he has detected generational shift to SNP that Labour are unlikely to recover from ever.

      Also Trident expert from Glas Uni saying nuclear stance of Unionists does not make huge sense other than for political gain (particularly Labours track record of switching sides of periods in power.

      Worth a listen anyway.

    36. terry says:

      Hilarious – I’ve visions of them dashing all over the place with their knickers in a twist. A bit like # Project Fear 2 trending on twitter last night – check these tweets out

      The Loch Ness Monster will relocate to the Lake District if you vote for the SNP. #GE2015 #ProjectFear2

      The Great Scottish Bake-Off will just be guys in string vests making toast #ProjectFear2

    37. gordoz says:

      Grand coalition anyone ? National Govt to save union ?

      Anyone, Anyone ??

    38. Holebender says:

      I live in West Aberdeenshire & Kincardine. It seems to keep flipping so I just don’t know what to do! Maybe I should vote SNP to keep the Nats out?

    39. Fergus Green says:

      I’m voting tactically – for the SNP.

    40. Muscleguy says:

      @RMF Brown
      Maybe we should insert into the memestream the idea that Westminster should give the SNP LOTS of new powers since they are so incompetent they will fuck them up and put everyone off independence.

      Please don’t throw me in the briar patch brer fox.

    41. DeilTakTheHindmaist says:

      ‘Lowry-esque’ – yeah, come on, Stu, give us some matchsitck men and matchstick cats and dogs. I’m due to go out canvassing in half an hour so make it quick!

    42. Take Independence says:

      SNPOUT are Tory, conservatives know that they cant get enough votes in england in order to rule in west minster, so they are wanting people in scotland to vote Lib Dems knowing that these two will form the next goverment. I cant believe that people can be that stupid. So what this diagram says is vote Lib-Dem and get tory.

    43. iheartScotland says:

      Haha,
      Great, everyone is voting for everyone else.Except people that want a better deal for Scotland.Hope it works out well for them 🙂

    44. Alastair says:

      As easy as a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat Cameron pledges £8bn for the NHS.
      Deficit? national debt? black hole?
      Its so easy when you are not Scotland and the SNP.

    45. G H Graham says:

      I can’t be the only one to be confused by Ed Miliband’s short interlude in Scotland yesterday.

      He was front page news on the Daily Record on 9th May 2014 when it was claimed; “Ed Miliband’s pledge to Scots: Vote No in referendum and I’ll deliver more home rule in first term of a Labour government”.

      It was reported that he is “vowing to improve taxation powers, employment and housing benefit north of the border should Scotland vote No and his party win next May’s General Election.”

      But yesterday he used his brief time in front of a heavily screened audience (Labour agitators & press) to rubbish the idea of full fiscal autonomy.

      Perhaps he could just issue a list of the powers he would like Scotland to have & of course an italics version showing quite clearly which one’s he considers we have not the competence to manage as well?

      Or is that asking too much?

    46. heedtracker says:

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argyll_and_Bute

      It is a lot of hiking and ferry rides for 10 SNpouters but what a lovely early spring holiday for them.

      If I had the time, money, cared, I’d follow them around with a loud hailer reading out loud the first five free chapters of my favourite Pouter/zoomer’s novel “Scarlett on the Run, or on the Way or on the Horizon” or whatever the feck he/she calls it up there in Aberdeenshire.

      On balance though it is surprising how many freaks, creeps, weirdos and oddballs all pile in to save teamGB’s two party system, and that’s excluding everyone in Pacific Quay, well all Scots media.

    47. desimond says:

      Wheres nice ex South Africa Living No Thanks UKOK Better Together Tctical voting website advisers educated at Fettes when you need them?

    48. Why “SNPout” when the SNP are not -in- Westminster? You can’t vote out a party that is not in government.

      Also isn’t the whole point of the Union Flag that it incorporates the flags of constituent nations? Their logo looks as stupid as “PIN number”

    49. Bittie Glakit says:

      The past week or so has been very eventful. Here are some images for your amusement. I love this site, the posters are so well informed or truth seeking. It is brilliant.

      http://mistygee4.wix.com/-page-altered-images

    50. SNPout are just part of McTernan`s Astroturfing machinations.

      Astroturfing is the practice of masking the sponsors of a message or organization: e.g., political, advertising, religious or public relations) to make it appear as though it originates from and is supported by grassroots participant(s).

    51. Marie clark says:

      Alastair, did Cameron say which NHS the 8 million is for. Presumably for Engerland as ours is devolved. I take it he was really clear on that point. NOT. Did he explain where the money was coming from, no? Thought not.

      Just back in, been at the SNP hub in Kirkcudbright this morning. Cheery lot these acivists, had a good chat met our candidate Richard Arkless. All in good heart but taking nothing for granted. Will be out leafleting tomorrow,just keep on keeping on folks. We’ll get there in the end.

      Never seen sight nor hair of any of these SNPout punters in our corner of Dumfries & Galloway. Never received leaflets or any other election bumf from them either. Only crap from from the red and blue tories, courtesy of the postman of course.

    52. galamcennalath says:

      I’m not going vote tactically, I’m going to vote strategically! The big picture and the long term in focus. Vote SNP get a Future.

    53. Colin McPhail says:

      Leave them to it ;0)

      Today the English health minister (Jeremy Hunt) says they are going to find an extra £8Bn for the English NHS.

      When asked where he was going to get this money from, Jeremy says he will get it from a growing economy.

      OK.

      Hold on, didn’t Nicola Sturgeon say the SNP would seek to grow the economy to help fund public services?

      Can’t be, the tories and there little helpers Scottish labour poo hoo’d this strategy.

      Project fear, the ugly sisters or is it the new firm?

    54. Marie clark says:

      @ Bittie Glakit, well done. James Francis Murphy, BA Politics (failed) as the scarecrow wi the burning breeks and the wee song made me laugh out loud.

      Great stuff. By jings we ha’ a lot o’ talented folk here amongst the wingers.

    55. Gavin says:

      Tories out in force in cupar today, including there glorious northern branch leader Ruth Davidson. Lots of arguments with the public and lots of leaflets going in the litter bins. Should split the unionist vote as the lib Dems want people to vote tactically to keep the SNP out.

      One Tory tried to talk to me, I said that I have never voted Tory in my life, I’m not going to start now.

      He said “there’s always a first time”

      Aye, right

      Vote snp May 7th. Unionists out !!!

    56. Tattie-bogle says:

      Maybe they should use one of these 🙂
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbA29zfEAZk

    57. Dr Jim says:

      I would never ever say i was a great expert in the all the doings of politics, it’s a big subject, especially the economic side of it all

      When we look at the TV (all channels) we see pundits, experts, journalists all telling us, and advising us, and the rest of the Yookay how it all works and dissecting all the figures for us thickos

      Except..i’m not an expert but the stuff that comes out of my arse knows more about it than any of these idiots
      I cannot begin to describe the level of stupidity every single day from these moronic “experts”

      I wouldn’t mind if they admitted they were idiots and were just having a blether, that would be OK with me
      Trouble with it all is there are real people out there who don’t know anything and are hoping to be informed so they watch the telly

      I’m not saying there’s not propaganda that’s different,no this is just constant straightforward Numptieness on a scale and level indescribable (that was really silly, i just described it)

      What i’m getting at is do we think a test like maybe a wee Quali should have to be passed before being allowed to say they’re telly experts so we could fine them or something when they talk shite

    58. neil allan says:

      Not so daft: changes showing changing electoral opinion who is most likely to beat SN

    59. manandboy says:

      Milliband seems only interested in himself. His calculations don’t include the Scots.

    60. neil allan says:

      Not so daft: the changes reflect changing polls who is likeliest to oust SNP and avoid higher unemployment and financial misfortune in Scotland!

    61. Onwards says:

      Voting tactically for Scotland’s benefit.

      I was thinking about it. If you were a Labour voter why would you NOT lend the SNP your vote this time?
      Even if you were against independence, that would need another referendum in the future.

      1. It makes no difference to the chance of getting a Labour government.

      2. It would be a Labour government getting pulled back to its traditional values, and one that can’t just ignore Scotland.

      Surely that is the ‘best of both worlds’ for Labour voters in Scotland ?

    62. heedtracker says:

      neil allan says:
      11 April, 2015 at 12:12 pm
      Not so daft: the changes reflect changing polls who is likeliest to oust SNP and avoid higher unemployment and financial misfortune in Scotland!

      Ooh. What’s the teamGB national debt now neil allan, or the deficit? Where’s next round of £30bn cuts going, that they all, red and blue tory, voted aye for a couple of weeks back? Hope all those £2m home owners in London have ever deeper pockets neil allan.

    63. manandboy says:

      GE15 is the Westminster Unionist Establishment’s last chance to disable the SNP, secure Scotland’s oil wealth, and save the Union. ‘Fear&SmearMax’ will be applied till May 7th.

      Mafia Labour is already Mafia Westminster – no crime too great if it secures power over Scotland.

    64. MajorBloodnok says:

      @neil allen

      I’d take the OECD’s analysis last year that Scotland would be 14th in the world for per capita GDP (vs UK’s position at no. 27) any day over Labour’s attempts to scare people that Scotland is too poor and incompetent to run its ecomony for the benefit of its people.

      If you think that the British and successive Tory and Labour governments at Westminster have every done a good job with the state’s economy (currently £1.5 trillion debt and rising, £98bn deficit) you really need your head examined.

    65. Tackety Beets says:

      If in doubt vote SNP , you know you want to.

      Is wik ony wye !

    66. Itchybiscuit says:

      Brilliant.

      With only 4 weeks to go it’s far too late to formulate a credible plan to vote tactically. To my eyes the Unionists are running around like headless chickens because their lords and masters told them to ‘do something to stop the Nats’. We’ve all seen how politically inept these people are when they’re acting outside their comfort zones. The ‘Yahboo’ politics of Westminster doesn’t fit the constituency here in Scotland. That’s one of the many things they’re failing to understand and I’m enjoying every minute of this full blown panic. :o)

    67. dougiekdy says:

      Postie arrived today with a Labour leaflet, printed in Cardiff.

      I’m in Kirkcaldy, former seat of the Dishonourable Gordon Brown, ex politician.

      If they don’t have enough activists to deliver leaflets in Kirkcaldy, I reckon we’re in with a chance:-)

    68. Cuddis says:

      NEWSFLASH!

      Professor Klaus Vier at the Heedrum Hodrum Collider’s Political Psychiatry unit thad this to say earlier today:

      ‘We have discovered a psychological syndrome which we believe is the root cause of the mass hysteria currently raging through the Slab-O-Sphere. We have named this syndrome:

      Bisto-phobia Locomotis

      In layman’s terms this is a profound fear of being turfed off the gravy train in May. The condition has a range of symptoms. The most common is the spiralling open and shut of the anal sphincter at oscillational frequencies faster than the beating of a Hummingbird’s wing. This gives rise to a sound not unlike an upper register C sharp played on a Cor Anglais. On a clear day these sounds can be heard in Scandinavia.’

      The institute will next month submit a paper for peer review.

    69. Dr Benway says:

      Just had some red tories lurking about outside, one of them knocked on my door and I had the pleasure of telling him to fuck off. Also have so far received three slab leaflets.

      The point being that I’ve heard nothing so far from the SNP.

    70. BJ says:

      From the Labour Party rule book 2013. I wonder how many tactical voting members will be ” automatically in eligible to remain ?

      “A member of the party who joins and/ or supports a political organisation other than an official Labour group or other unit of the party, or supports any candidate who stands against an official Labour candidate, or publicly declares their intent to stand against a Labour candidate, shall automatically be ineligible to be or remain a party member, subject to the provisions of Chapter 6.I.2 below of the disciplinary rules”

    71. Doug Daniel says:

      Wonder when Labour and Lib Dem types will cotton on to the fact that the whole thing is really a way of getting them to help elect more Tories? How many slices will have to turn blue?

      You’ve got to hand it to the Tories though, they’ve fair reeled the zoomers in.

    72. Louis B Argyll says:

      Trident is definitive in Argyll & Bute. I could throw a few small blankets over concentrated party support here and there. The rest live in very many small and scattered settlements, their reliance on each other defining their communities.

      Helensburgh may take a little local boost through small scale anxilliary contractors and the like. However..the rest of Argyll gets nothing, due to the physical distances and is instead dragged into military compliance, as even our most local representatives, our council, is bullied into silence buy official secret. Act etc.

      The Holy Loch has been desecrated.
      It should now be exorcised.

      If we must exploit our environment at least we should share some benefit as a species, otherwise we are regressing and will end up back in the caves

    73. Lesley-Anne says:

      I have a complaint to make but am not sure who to complain to.

      I have never received my personal copy of the Labour leaflet for Dumfreis, Tweeddale and Clydesdale. Who do I complain to? Please do NOT say Earchie Dryborough! Please please PLEAE do NOT say him! 😛

      I have not had anyone from #SNPout at my door. Who do I complain to about their non appearance? Please please PLEASE do NOT say Fluffy!

      On the point of RED Ed’s temporary flying visit to Edinburgh yesterday I think he was telling huge porkies. He seemed fixated with the idea of the S.N.P. wanting F.F.A. but as we all know F.F.A. can ONLY be delivered by Westminster. Therefore when he was going on and on and on about F.F.A. he was, in my view, talking absolute s***e! F.F.A. will never happen, will it? 😉 , or was this the first indicator of him softening his approach to “doing a deal” with the S.N.P. 😀

    74. Grizzle McPuss says:

      A curious version of musical chairs (accompanied by flute music)…but without ever removing a chair!!

      Curious.

    75. desimond says:

      Theres a horse called Unioniste in the Grand National today

      Conpiracy here we come

    76. Will McEwan says:

      O/T

      John Ainslie and Cat Boyd at an anti Trident meeting in Dunoon

      http://bit.ly/1CC4mwV

    77. heedtracker says:

      Latest teamGB give away? Osborne’s giving extra £8bn for NHS, Milliband’s giving a free midwife for everyone pregnant, Jim Murphy giving Scotland 1000 free nurses, Nick Clegg’s giving away £2 grand deposit for your flat rent, and that’s just front page of rancid Graun in last hour. Nicola Sturgeon still most dangerous women in teamGB though.

      Or rancid Graun sez

      “Local councils are running into debt partly as the price of the SNP’s council tax freeze, which has greatly benefited the wealthiest. Scottish students are having to borrow at record levels as grants are reduced and tuition remains free, even to the rich. The NHS is enduring big funding shortfalls.”

      Red and blur tory teamGB, if you haven’t got it, spend it, on Trident and nurses and midwives and even more nurses.

    78. dakk says:

      Desimond 12.54

      Hope it falls at the first and is put down.

      Only joking 🙂

    79. Robert Louis says:

      Are these sn Pouters, really so daft, that they cannot see the Tories are using them, to get more Tory seats in Scotland rather than help defeat the SNP.

      Really honestly, anybody who falls for this shouldn’t be allowed out the house on their own, never mind getting to vote.

      It is indeed one of the funniest things in this election, as Labour supporters talk of going to the polls to elect a Tory MP instead, thereby assisting Davey boy back into number 10. How dim can people be??

      Mad, mad, mad.

      slightly O/T, given that the SNP are not the current UK Government, is it not just as daft to have ‘SNP out’ as a slogan for the Westminster election, as the SNP are NOT currently ‘in’??

    80. Edward says:

      Dr Benway @ 12:45

      On the point about not hearing or receiving anything from the SNP
      It would be an idea for anyone that hasn’t heard or received anything from the SNP to contact the local SNP election agent and let them know

      Sometimes in the scheme of things, streets may have been missed out in error (human after all 🙂 )

      So it would help them to know and to tweek (I’m speaking as someone who worked for an election agent many moons ago)

      It could also mean that they are run off their feet, so if your able, why not offer help 🙂

    81. Mealer says:

      Well,I for one was saddened by the way everyone took the P*ss out of the revs last efforts at cartoonery(don’t check up on what I actually said at the time,though)
      Tactical voting? It won’t make a huge difference unless the unionist parties embrace it.That would be suicidal for them.

    82. Iain Gray's Subway Lament says:

      “The campaign claims to have 600 activists (around 10 per Westminster seat) knocking doors passing on the messag”

      LOL 😀

      Aye, right!

      Complete and utter bullshit.

    83. heedtracker says:

      Paddy Pantsdown now on BBC r4 says yes lets get that 100bn barrels oil strike under a farm near Gatwick. $50/barrel of 100bn barrels that must be why red and blue tory boys are giving away so much free stuff.

      $50 x 100bn = $5 trillion or about 3 times teamGB national debt, dozens of Trident nuke strike subs for the annihilation of North Korea?

      I smell shite, teamGB/Bettertogether votes SLab or else Scotland campaign.

    84. galamcennalath says:

      Robert Louis says:
      “… so daft, that they cannot see the Tories are using them…”

      I have always thought that Cameron believed IndyRef would be a walkover, they couldn’t lose. If things got close, he could always make deceitful more powers offers. It all went to plan.

      HOWEVER, I thought it was clear at the time Cameron also thought IndyRef offered a great opportunity to thoroughly shaft Labour in Scotland! Labour fell for it and their destruction also goes to plan.

      Now, the Tories pull the ultimate con on Labour … Try to get them to tactically vote in some Tory MPs in Scotland.

      All shows, to my mind, how happy Unionists are to stab each other in the back! In many ways it’s a good thing for Scotland that they are willing to put party politics before the Union itself. This may of course be motivated by the believe among unionists that UK breakup could never happen.

      The paradox is, Scotland will actually benefit from Tory tactics aimed at achieving a short term advantage at WM.

    85. Glamaig says:

      @ Dr Benway

      Keep them talking for as long as you can to keep them away from other folks doors.

      When they finally get bored and and walk away say mmm think I’ll go with SNP, to well and truly scunner them 🙂

    86. Gavin says:

      O/T classic spitting image from 1987. Still relevant today.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ReIAna459sg

    87. Findlay Farquaharson says:

      do the fakes rev, think of the extra confusion but most of all the rage it will cause amongst slab

    88. De Valera says:

      Interesting to see Dumfries and Galloway briefly appearing and the suggestion to vote for the Conservatives here. Russell Brown has been carpet bombing us with warnings that only Labour can keep the Tories out here.

      Meanwhile Finlay Carson is warning that only the Tories can stop the SNP in Dumfries and Galloway.

    89. almannysbunnet says:

      Since parliament broke up I have received 9 Lib/dem pamphlets in various sized, 3 of which were posted. Also 3 personal letters from the lib/dem candidate, one from the house of commons.
      From the conservatives I have 2 pamphlets and two personal letters, one from Ruth Davidson.
      I have not received a single piece of info from my local SNP candidate although I have received parliamentary reports from Christian Allard and Dennis Robertson. Apart from that only the tartan seat postcard and the NHS one. I have written to the local SNP secretary with my concerns. On the good side the boys and girls are out canvassing again today.
      Labour have learned something about economics though as they haven’t spent a penny in this area as they know it would be waste of time.

    90. Grouse Beater says:

      Been trying to find my nearest Tactical party candidate but none in my district. 🙁

    91. Craig Wilson says:

      The estimate I saw on Twitter yesterday said that even if the #SNPout lot succeed in coercing people’s votes to the best of their ‘abilities’, the best they can do is reduce the
      SNP total to, um, 43 seats. #SNP_Slightly_Less_In?

    92. Oneironaut says:

      @Rev Stu
      “We were thinking of knocking up a few fake versions ourselves and seeding them onto Facebook and Twitter to add to the confusion…”

      Oh, go on! You know you want to! 😉

    93. orri says:

      Good of Curtice to confirm that as far as Labour support in Scotland is concerned this is indeed a new generation.

    94. Thomas Valentine says:

      Has anybody pointed out that by Labour supporters giving seats to Conservative and LibDems they might be voting in another 5 years of Cameron ect.
      In the seats its a straight Labour SNP bash I don’t see significant numbers changing to voting Labour who wont have already decided. In the other seats its gifting seats to the other parties and could tip the balance against Labour. It all gets more stupid the closer you look. We should actively support this since all they are doing is messing up each others campaigns.

    95. Marcia says:

      almannysbunnet

      I hope you are helping out too? Now back to getting leaflets ready for going out.

    96. msean says:

      I’m sure people will vote for the party/candidate who will best serve their interests. Thankfully,the secret ballot is the foundation of the electoral system. I can agree to vote for whoever asks me to vote for them,but in the booth,I can vote for whoever I wish.

      Imagine you voted for what you were told to vote for,and got some varicoloured Tory who penalised you for being poor or unlucky in life,only to be told “well you voted for this”.

    97. ScottieDog says:

      @Gavin
      Used to love spitting image. Here’s another that’s still relevant…
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f6uJvtY1rsU

    98. PictAtRandom says:

      “desimond says:
      11 April, 2015 at 12:54 pm

      Theres a horse called Unioniste in the Grand National today

      Conpiracy here we come”

      If it wins then no more Grand National for 20, 50, 100 years?

    99. call me dave says:

      As I said yesterday, we are through the looking glass now.

      I have heard and seen tactical voting applied in single by-elections but this is just bizarre.

      Anyhoo! Here is an uplifting article looking at who’s going to win and suggesting the tories are vying with the pandas. The labour are a smaller party in Scotland with only one MP, less than the number of pandas, the lib/dems or the tories…

      I wish 🙂

      http://www.arcofprosperity.org/

    100. CameronB Brodie says:

      SNP deputy leader Stewart Hosie, and the political commentator Iain McWhirter talking sense
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kru9aTUfhKs

      Lord Foulkes outlines choices
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_Dcl2aUzsc

      Blood, Sweat & Tears – Spinning Wheel 🙂
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPkVEi3Woy0

    101. handclapping says:

      A good giggle even without a Cairnstoon. I hope all is now going right for Chris.

      I wonder if we can get these SNPOut zoomers for treating? “A person is guilty of treating if either before, during or after an election they directly or indirectly give or provide any food, drink, entertainment or provision to corruptly influence any voter to vote or refrain from voting.” They are definitely entertainment and they are surely corrupt in trying to disrupt the candidate’s appeals to vote for me and influence voters to vote or refrain from voting. I’m pretty sure their voting wheels whether on paper or the web are also a provision.

      Any legal eagles out there who can say how long they get at HM pleasure to contemplate their guilt?

    102. Robert Peffers says:

      @fred blogger says: 11 April, 2015 at 10:52 am:

      “no they’re all accurate in there own realities, but the differences they report are caused by intostella distortions in the space time continuum.
      see the works of composer carl orff.

      Oooh! Carl Orff. I dad his wee brother, Fred as an apprentice once.

      (Think about it! – think about it!)

    103. Natasha says:

      On the subject of other party canvassers knocking on your door: speaking as a canvasser, it’s pretty unpleasant when people swear at you or slam the door in your face.

      Much as I disagree with the various shades of Tory, I wouldn’t be rude to someone knocking on my door, simply because I’ve been on the receiving end and it’s not nice. (I got called a communist on one side of a street the other day and a Nazi on the other – it made me laugh, but it wasn’t necessary).

      Just saying.

    104. Now's the Hour says:

      I’m so confused!

      I think I’ll vote SNP just to keep everybody else out.

    105. HandandShrimp says:

      LOl the pouters are the ultimate synthesis of the convergence of British politics

      It doesn’t matter who you vote for or who runs the country as long as it is not the SNP. In other other words the other lot are all heads of the same clumsy and incompetent beast.

      I am not going to complain too much though…I think I have had more laughs at their shooglie eyed bampottery than any other group.

    106. katsoft says:

      Hi to all those who havn’t seen SNP canvassers round doors. Some good news, They were round my way here in Ayr about 10 days ago. Nice early start. I saved them some time, told them my views and gratefully accepted a couple of SNP posters.
      They are out there but are hellishly busy.

    107. davidb says:

      Seems a bit silly of them to rely on social media. It was those who by virtue of their unconnected nature who stuck with the Union. The younger, tech savvy, connected people are already aiming for independence.

      Perhaps they should just stick to their old method of filling in postal ballots for dead people, ghost voters and nursing home residents, and lying to pensioners in post offices.

    108. Clootie says:

      “Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat”.
      Sun Tzu – Art of War

    109. DerekM says:

      All this tactical voting nonsense is astonishing ,lets face it if you still support Labour in Scotland you are a die hard and not likely to be someone who swing votes ,also how are they going to feel when their Labour candidate says dont vote for me vote for the tories lol it beggars belief.

      The unionist parties might think they are better together but i have my doubts that their voters think the same ,when i was in the Labour party (yes i know i was stupid back then)if someone from the party had said to me dont vote Labour vote tory i would have given them a slap to the back of the head.

      Does England know this is going on ?, i would imagine the English electorate would be pretty annoyed to find out their party of choice is asking Scots to vote for their opposition.

      Anyway i will be tactically voting…. for the SNP 🙂

    110. Tackety Beets says:

      Yes , I too had the Libdum guy at my door this week.
      I kept him busy with questions on stuff which was tricky for him an so on , he was polite and eventually he says ” eeeehhh a can see you are at yer tea , I’ll let you get back to it ”

      ” Aye am at ma tea an votin’ SNP ….. cheerio ”

      I have been bombarded by e-mails from Doogie , Maer greet , Murphy , KD etc oooo an Beaker too .
      Funny how they seek us out when THEY WANT something .
      I wonder if they will e-mail and thank me or offer to help?

    111. Helena Brown says:

      They have been round Dunfermline and round our way a couple of weeks ago, my poster is on the bedroom window and will be moved with us. I will not get the same amount of looks because I am off the beaten track at the new house but will be off to work as soon as I have got the bed up and the kitchen working.

    112. Robert Peffers says:

      @MajorBloodnok says: 11 April, 2015 at 11:11 am:

      “Which one is the BBC version?”

      All of them.

    113. Robert Peffers says:

      @The Man in the Jar says: 11 April, 2015 at 11:14 am:

      “How appropriate it would be if these “wheels” were produced as “tax disc holders”. They would seem to be as useful as one.”

      Oh! Thanks for the memory jog.
      I didn’t remember to remove my old one after it ran out and I had renewed the tax.

    114. Helena Brown says:

      Damned I should have said that it was the SNP I doubt the Labour will bother, they were not doing well on the High Street. Had a Lib Dum leaflet shoved through the door the other night, should have stopped looking at their feet and they would have seen the SNP sign, I just need another piece of paper for the bin right now.

    115. Legerwood says:

      Quite a few people on here have mentioned the lack of SNP canvassers/leaflets coming to or through their door and I am one of them.

      Like others on here I received a leaflet this week from the Labour candidate – addressed to me – but other than a short piece in the local paper I have had nothing from or about the SNP candidate.

      This is poor. If the SNP does not do a mailshot very soon then they any info they do eventually send out will be lost in the blanket coverage given to the launch of the manifestos.

      Then it will be too late because people will start switching off from the whole thing.

      Canvassing is all very well and hats of to those who do it but canvassers come up against closed doors or doors that are not opened if people guess what you are about.

      Mailshots go through letterboxes no matter what. So where are the SNP when it comes to promoting their candidates in the constituencies?

    116. Inbhir Anainn says:

      @ Lesley-Anne

      Only things that have been delivered so far in Fluffy’s constituency (DG12 area) by the Royal Mail are a. Polling Cards and b. Labour candidate official addressed leaflet (although more being delivered on Mon, Tues). There is as yet nothing appeared from other political parties as they ain’t in from the printers yet.

    117. bjsalba says:

      A human clone is the biologically and genetically identical being created through copying DNA fragments, cells, or organisms.

      AKA Lobby fodder.

    118. BrianW says:

      I did post this on http://wingsoverscotland.com/tilting-at-windmills/ But fits in with this better re Tactical Voting (really I’m just emulating the Lib Dems cutting and pasting the same nonsense – see new Article “The Politics Of Hope”)

      I find the whole tactical voting idea very disturbing. I mean I get it, but what an unbelievably lame bullies way to win a constituency vote.

      What hope is there if you can’t win a vote fairly because you speak for your constituents? Persuade them that your policies find traction with them and you will serve them well as their MP.

      It just screams of complicity more than anything. It’s like spreading rumours on someone you don’t like to get your own way. Stand back, watch it happen with a smug smile of ‘told you’.

      It’s sleekit! So I suppose (in writing that) it suits the Unionist Parties to a tee – and for the media to perpetuate it.

      Thank god we live in a country were our Politicians – and wanna-be MP’s like to connect with people, listen to their concerns and deliver policies which deal with those concerns for our benefit and well being eh?

      I can feel a Catherine Tate Granny moment coming on.. “What a load of old shit!”

      Edit: I’ve been thinking about the Tactical Voting thing again and what happens when folk tactically vote then end up with an MP who doesn’t give two hoots about them other than getting to claim their Westminster Expenses.

      If austerity is to get even tougher (as the Tory’s point out, and Labour wouldn’t change), will your ‘Tactically Voted’ MP stand up for you and help, or will he vote for further cuts like they have up till now? Will you still stand shoulder to shoulder with your Tactically Elected MP when your own son/daughter could potentially be sent to fight another war?

      Will your chap at their door on surgery day be as welcome to raise legitimate issues as it was on voting day when you marked your cross next to their name? I’m guessing not, and I’d not like to be there to hear what’s being said in a “the microphone was still on” moment after you’ve left the room. Then you learn who they’re there to support. Themselves!

      I just hope those who think of tactically voting have really considered what is at stake for them personally and for their community in voting for an MP/Party who really won’t do the best job for them. And all for the sake of getting one over on someone? Is it really worth cutting off your nose to spite your face for that – to your own detriment?

      I find that disturbing.

    119. crazycat says:

      @ Legerwood

      In my constituency the SNP are canvassing and leafleting; the leaflets are hand-delivered to save money, and there have been at least three so far, with rumours that there will be one a week – overkill, I think.

      I haven’t had any delivered, either because I live in the middle of nowhere or because anyone out leafleting is likely to know that I don’t need to be persuaded (I’ve been helping in the campaign hub).

      Funds available and the number of activists will vary from place to place; the bigger the constituency and the worse the infrastructure the less chance you have of receiving anything, I suspect.

      Labour is having to pay to get its message out, and presumably has lots of money – but the spending limits will still apply.

    120. thedogphilosopher says:

      I have the feeling that this tactical voting plan will fall flat. The tribalism within unionist ranks will see them shift to their natural bias as the voting moment approaches.

      The polling indications for the SNP are quite unbelievable, given the sustained Brit propaganda that pours out from every source. And I agree with those who say we shouldn’t get too carried away, Independence may be some years down the road as yet. The democratic process demands patience.

      But since the referendum result there has been this weird feeling that somehow we (the collective we) failed ourselves: that we were coerced, blackmailed, bullied, perhaps even cheated. And the moment slipped through our hands and into the history books. The country that rejected its own nationhood. Ouch!

      There will always be dyed-in-the-wool unionists. Mostly they dream of The Bygone Days of Old and scrawl Obey You Queen for reasons that defy logic. But time moves on and the demographic is already tilting towards a Scotland that rejects the Westminster model in the hope of something better, more democratic, more humane, more conscious of the environment, and less insanely short-term and jackbootish.

    121. Robert Bryce says:

      I have no issue with them peddling their many variations of the wheel.

      If they start offering voters Sausage Rolls though……

    122. Natasha says:

      @Legerwood 3.27pm

      The SNP doesn’t have the kind of financial backup that the red, blue and yellow Tories do; most constituencies are relying on crowd funding and branch donations. The costs of getting leaflets printed are high enough, never mind paying to have them posted.

      We are working hard on the ground, believe me, but there will always be areas that get missed, because we are all volunteers giving up our spare time, and with the best will in the world, we cannot cover absolutely everywhere. Even the single electoral communication to which all candidates are entitled still has to be sorted and put into envelopes by volunteers, even though it is delivered free of charge by the Royal Mail.

      If you are not happy with the level of canvassing/leafleting in your area, then I suggest that you contact your local SNP branch/election agent and ask if they plan to visit your area. Or, if you are at all able, you could volunteer to help. You can do telephone canvassing instead of door-knocking, if you are housebound.

    123. woosie says:

      Waiting enthusiastically for slab minions to chap my door, no luck yet. Never mind, my pick might win the national. Not quite as satisfying as setting some misguided fools right, but I can buy some beer and rant at the wife about them all night!

    124. Roland Smith says:

      If anyone has any spare change there are still a couple of SNP branches trying to raise funds for the campaign.

      http://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/campaign/scottish-national-party/page

    125. DerekM says:

      Dont worry all you people concerned about the SNP,i got today my wee SNP book with Nicola on the front called Voting SNP means…

      I think they are being clever well i dont know about you but i do get fed up having to fling all this political guff from the onions in the bucket,maybe Nicola and the SNP realize you can go overboard with political literature.

    126. KennyG says:

      Kind of makes a mockery of statements such as, “the democratic will of the British people” doesn’t it.

      Go on Rev, flood social media with as many as possible so as to render the lot of them meaningless.

    127. Robert Peffers says:

      @Dr Jim says: 11 April, 2015 at 12:05 pm:

      ” … What i’m getting at is do we think a test like maybe a wee Quali should have to be passed before being allowed to say they’re telly experts so we could fine them.

      Tell you what, Dr Jim. I’m no expert but I do have a couple of rules regarding those who claim they are. Now bear in mind I was involved in one of the most complex branchs of electronics. Radiological protection instrumentation. Now the complexity of the subject comes from the many scientific fields that you need to at least have a smattering of knowledge about.

      Nuclear physics, Quantum Physics, Electronics, Human Anatomy and, after they had us start doing instruments for detecting chemical Warfare and germ warfare you will get the idea we just couldn’t be expert in such a wide spectrum of different fields. So here’s the couple of rules I spoke about.

      If the expert’s explanation cannot make any sense to you then don’t take his/her word for it but always ask for clarification even if they look at you as if you are a moron. If they cannot explain their expert subject in more or less plain English then it beggars the question how did they learn the facts?

      So never mind the ultra complex – gobbledegook ask them for the simple explanation. If they cannot, or will not give it then they probably are not so expert as they would have you believe.

      As to the financial running of a country – it’s not too different from running a household. For example if spending the mortgage money on a new flash car seems a daft idea to you then so would spending the money to feed the countries poorer dependents on a super-dooper nuclear shooter be a bad idea and for the very same reasons.

      Would it be wrong to say, It ain’t rocket science?

    128. Patrick Roden says:

      I was mentioned in the press as the election got underway, that the Unionist ‘war Chest’ is huge compared to the SNP’s.

      TBH I’m always suspicious of the ‘SNP not doing enough’ posts, but if these are genuine concerns, fair enough, but do you sit in the George Fox at Tannadice?

    129. Robert Peffers says:

      @manandboy says: 11 April, 2015 at 12:08 pm:

      Milliband seems only interested in himself. His calculations don’t include the Scots.”

      So you noticed that too? Here’s a though for you. The Tories are saying they will find £8bn more for the English NHS. However, the English NHS is a Barnett Consequentials function so that should add a per capita sum to the next Scottish Block Grant if the Tory Party is the next Government.

      Labour are also offering a boost to the English NHS by pledging 1 to 1 care by midwives and that’s on top of a 3,000 increase in England’s midwife numbers
      – again this is a Barnett Consequentials function. Though mind you it seems to stretch their £2.5 billion tax collected by a mansion tax a bit too much.

      The LibDems have pledged £8nb to the English NHS but I think we can be safe in thinking the LibDems won’t form the next UK government.

      The point though is that none of them seems to have factored in the per capita shares, of their pledges to England, by the Barnett Consequentials that must also go to Scotland, Wales and, the one with the largest per capita cut, Northern Ireland.

      So I’m not sure yet if the promises will fall under the heading of, “Tomorrow Jam”, or the even more elusive, “Pie in the Sky, by and by, for you and I”. There is, of course another alternative that normally is not mentioned around GE Election time — Utter Bollox for everyone.

    130. Luigi says:

      If the LibDems really mean to keep out the SNP by ractical voting, surely they should be telling all unionists NOT to vote for them, as they have a snowball’s chance of winning anywhere south of Orkney.

    131. Lesley-Anne says:

      Thanks for that Inbhir Anainn. I’ll keep a wee look out for the *ahem* special delivery of wee Archie Dryborough’s joke book *cough* I mean extremely informative leaflet. 😀

    132. BrianW says:

      @ KennyG 4:09pm

      “Kind of makes a mockery of statements such as, “the democratic will of the British people” doesn’t it.”

      You hit the nail on the head well and truly there I think KennyG. Sums it up well. How many times did we hear that after the Referendum vote?

    133. RMF Brown says:

      Professor Curtice was on the BBC today and his verdict was: Tactical voting will be like a fart competing with thunder, or words to that effect.

    134. Xander says:

      1 seat, 3 unionist parties, who takes the tactical vote?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJCSNIl2Pls&t=3m0s

    135. John D aka Nkosi says:

      Well never seen any of them here in Lochaber

    136. Richardinho says:

      My feeling about the divisive tactics of the union is that when push comes to shove more people are going to side with the nationalist rather than the unionist cause.

    137. Gary says:

      Who’s funding these dimwits (officially I mean). Do they have to declare their information due to them being political. I mean, they can’t be a charity or just ‘concerned citizens’. If they were then the ‘Gagging Law’ would apply as we are in the short campaign now and we’ve seen genuine charities threatened already.

    138. Cadogan Enright says:

      @Gary 7.31 – If you could identify them, they can be forced to register with the Electoral Commission

    139. James Gardner says:

      It seems to me that this ploy of tactical voting is fundamentally flawed by the unionists. Why? All it does is highlight those constituencies where the tactical exercise has been carried out. Guess what they have forgotten, We are in this for the long run, these areas will have extra attention next time around. Scotland will over come, they’ve never been brought up on the story of the Bruce and the spider never mind that of the Wallace.

    140. bugger this… lets merge Labour, Lib Dem and Torys into one big Unionist Party. Their symbol could be a big, f++k off, submarine.

      If you mix their colours you get a browny, purple……. think, the morning after eating beetroot.

    141. MochaChoca says:

      Oh come on, the official line from Labour is a vote for the SNP will let in the Tories and the official line from The Tories is a vote for the SNP will let in Labour.

      The only logical conclusion for anyone intent on keeping the SNP out is to vote for the SNP (but to do so tactically, of course).

    142. In relation to tactical voting campaigners-

      I work as security at a private members health spa in Manchester city centre. One of our members that I often discuss politics with is a student from Wales at a local university and who is a card carrying conservative.

      This young man told me how he was working for the Labour party in Gordon Brown’s Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath constituency convincing people to vote tactically to keep the SNP out of Government.

      He also says that the tactical voting group he is working with are transporting a group of young conservatives up from the universities in Manchester each week to campaign in varioius seats all over Scotland.



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