When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
Having solved cat hunger in Greece, the tireless Holiday Boy has now turned his hand to addressing Scotland’s crippling golfing shortage, so we’ve got a different sort of cartoon again for you this weekend.
The clip below is from a 1981 arcade videogame called Venture, by Exidy, in which you play a cheerful character called Winky on a mission to loot treasure from a series of monster-infested dungeons.
For the purposes of this article the treasure in the room above, which takes the form of a castle tower, represents Scottish politics. The room itself is the Union.
I’m a professional community organiser, and a tenant and housing activist for some 20 years. I saw the old Scottish Tenants Organisation get smashed by Jack McConnell’s government to make way for council housing privatisation, which in Glasgow created the Glasgow Housing Association.
I’ve long wanted to rebuild a national body to give housing schemes a political voice and to push to end the housing crisis. That’s why I got involved with Living Rent, organising my community to become their first branch. Little did I know that would lead to a brush with crazed gender ideology, and see Queer Theory used to try to destroy it.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Holiday Boy has of course chosen the general election campaign to spend the next three weeks feeding stray cats somewhere sunny, so here’s a cartoon by the brilliant webcomicname that summarises the Baillie Gifford story for anyone joining us late.
January 2018, with no general election due for four and a half years: “I very rarely talk about Scottish independence in the chamber, because I talk about things that matter”
June 2024, with an election in four weeks and a £91,346 salary, expenses and pension at stake: “ROBERT THE BRUCE! BANNOCKBURN! DECLARATION OF ARBROATH! FLOWER OF SCOTLAND! FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMM!”
Because, for startlingly obvious reasons, even the SNP hasn’t had the brass neck to do a general fundraiser for this election, with the police’s inquiries still going on into the whereabouts of the cash from their last big appeals.
But in fact the party has managed to wring over £100,000 from the most gullible of its remaining supporters in the days since the election was announced. It’s just been a bit more subtle about it.
Last week’s controversy around the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre put the spotlight on the need for single-sex services to protect vulnerable women, but it’s very far from the only example of how Scottish women are being let down in this regard by both the Scottish Government and civic organisations.
The homelessness system in Scotland has collapsed. Emergency accommodation is dangerous, sub-standard, and overcrowded. There has been an epidemic of deaths in hotels and B&Bs in recent years.
Mark Beggan on Strike One: “Let’s play Judges and Lawyers. Unsuitable for under fives.” Dec 11, 19:28
Mark Beggan on The ginger stepchild: “We’ll cut aff oor noses to spite those English bastards faces. That’s them telt. Bastards. Soar Giro!” Dec 11, 19:27
David Holden on Strike One: “Sadly I am old enough to remember when Scottish law was given a level of respect even from South of…” Dec 11, 19:24
Lewis Moonie on Strike One: “Anyone ever seen a trans woman who didn’t stick out like a sore thumb? Me neither” Dec 11, 18:58
Hatey McHateface on The ginger stepchild: “Perhaps the pollsters were unaware women are allowed to vote. Perhaps when the pollsters asked people, the men refused to…” Dec 11, 18:48
Geoff Anderson on Strike One: “I think this one needs a detailed explanation from the judge https://x.com/anyabike/status/1999121983481536635?s=20” Dec 11, 18:45
Lorncal on Strike One: “It seems to me to be far too accurate in its misinterpretations and unsound quotes to be purely AI or…” Dec 11, 18:41
Lorncal on Strike One: “I’d second that. Alex Massie has written a glowing reference to the Rev, too, acknowledging his forensic analyses.” Dec 11, 18:25
Karen on The ginger stepchild: “I’m surprised that women (and children’s) rights come in at 3% or less.” Dec 11, 18:25
Hatey McHateface on The ginger stepchild: “Cart before horse, Alf. First you have to get a solid majority of Scots to believe your number. Then you…” Dec 11, 18:22
twathater on The ginger stepchild: “The rev talks about supporting yoonionist parties in an attempt to destroy or remove the stench of the Scum Nonce…” Dec 11, 18:15
Northcode on Spoiler Alert: “I’m not allowed friends anymore. Not since… sorry, I’ve been told I can’t talk about it. All I can tell…” Dec 11, 18:08
Dan on The ginger stepchild: “Aye Sarah, it is pretty obvious, so one has to question the motives of supposedly pro-indy politicians, activists, and bloggers…” Dec 11, 17:54
Hatey McHateface on Spoiler Alert: “Wow, Northy! Right out with the worst insult you can come up with. You’re gonna love Sharia.” Dec 11, 17:51
Hatey McHateface on Spoiler Alert: “He’ll be allowed plasticine. As long as it’s the safe-to-eat kind.” Dec 11, 17:47
Andrew Ingram on Strike One: “Well said.” Dec 11, 17:44
twathater on Strike One: “As someone posted yesterday I believe the manipulative unseen hand of the Scum Nonce Party SG deviants and perverts has…” Dec 11, 17:41
Aidan on Spoiler Alert: “@Northcode – have you thought about making some friends?” Dec 11, 17:30
Michael P on Strike One: “This is staggering – the English Courts have recently handed down decisions excoriating advocates for quoting non-existent cases, usually ‘researched’…” Dec 11, 17:24
Veritas on Strike One: “What most people don’t realise is that judges are not “selected” by some higher authority on their merits, they apply…” Dec 11, 17:22
Jay on Strike One: “Amazing and invaluable work by Rev. Stu. Acknowledgement in The Times is good but there have already been attacks against…” Dec 11, 17:21
Steve A on Strike One: “It is long past time that a reputable university conferred honorary doctorate on our host here. The only question is…” Dec 11, 17:20
Northcode on Strike One: “Can judges be sacked for incompetence or crookery? If so there might be wan or twa quakin’ in thair bench…” Dec 11, 17:10
Alf Baird on The ginger stepchild: “Recovery of the £150bn+ plundered by Westminster and other external corporate interests from an annexed Scotland each year would solve…” Dec 11, 17:08
Northcode on The ginger stepchild: “In case you’re wondering I wasn’t replying to your comment, PhilM. I posted it under your comment by mistake. Apologies.” Dec 11, 17:05
Lorncal on Strike One: “Wow. Nailed it again, Rev. It seemed before the amendment that the judge certainly appeared to be, according to his…” Dec 11, 17:01
sarah on Strike One: “Rev, it would be very interesting to know what prompted this Certificate of [non] Correction. Was it your article, or…” Dec 11, 16:56
James on Strike One: “And with Fish-Face standing by in the wings we will soon all be “waiting for the worms…”” Dec 11, 16:56
sarah on The ginger stepchild: “@ Dan at 3.38. You, I and others can see what is blindingly obvious – that all the ills that…” Dec 11, 16:52
Northcode on The ginger stepchild: “Which of these two issues do you think is the most important facing Scotland at this time? A: “Scotland’s constitutional…” Dec 11, 16:40