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At home with the Kardashians 209

Posted on August 25, 2016 by

The new January-June 2016 sales figures for “regional” Scottish newspapers:

Aberdeen Evening Express: 27,441 copies per day (-11.3% vs Jan-Jun 2015)
Dundee Courier: 41,243 (-8.5%)
Dundee Evening Telegraph: 16,354 (-9.5%)
Edinburgh Evening News: 20,235 (-14.1%)
Glasgow Evening Times: 25,679 (-14.3%)
The Herald: 30,402 (-11.6%)
Paisley Daily Express: 4,986 (-7.4%)
The Press & Journal: 54,270 (-7.2%)
Scotland On Sunday: 19,059 (-21.1%)
The Scotsman: 20,304 (-14.6%)
Sunday Herald: 21,613 (-25.5%)

Posted without comment.

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The kingdom of wishful thinking 233

Posted on August 24, 2016 by

One thing you can always guarantee on GERS Day is that the latest set of figures for Scotland’s devolved economy inside the UK will trigger another uncontrolled spurt of “SNP HONEYMOON OVER” articles from the nation’s dogged commentariat.

honeymooners2

Today we’ve seen already examples (links below) from two ex-Scotsman editors, Iain Martin and Magnus Linklater, the latter popping up in the Times by way of a rather crass and unpleasant analogy involving Oswald Mosley and the Blackshirts.

And since we’d rather watch “Suicide Squad” again than spend any more time going over the arguments about GERS (and trust us, readers, we don’t say that lightly), we thought it’d be more fun if we finally got round to compiling a semi-definitive list of all the times the collective wisdom of Scotland’s media and opposition has confidently predicted the SNP’s imminent demise.

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The SIX key facts about GERS 78

Posted on August 24, 2016 by

We originally wrote this article in March, in response to the Government Expenditure and Revenue Scotland (better known as GERS) figures for 2014-15. We’ve updated it to take account of events since that time, of which there’s been one rather major one.

Today saw the publication (just five months after the 2014-15 GERS) of the 2015-16 stats, which are again triggering a convulsive orgy of “BLACK HOLE!” articles across the media, as every Unionist in the land falls over themselves to portray their own country as a useless scrounging subsidy junkie without actually using the exact words “too wee, too poor, too stupid”.

And once again, everywhere you look there’s a “Proud Scot” screaming about how the figures – showing an essentially unchanged “deficit” despite an almost £2bn fall in oil revenue – destroy a case for independence that those same people have spent most of the last four years stridently insisting never existed in the first place.

angryyoon

So let’s recap the truth about Scotland’s financial books. Because for all the complex arguments, mad graphs ludicrously pretending Scotland is a less viable nation than Greece or Latvia or Cyprus or Malta and endless arrays of incomprehensible charts and tables, there are (now) only six things you really need to know about GERS.

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And so it begins 88

Posted on August 24, 2016 by

“Black hole” grows by £2.4bn in the space of four minutes:

gers2016

Hopefully we’ll soon have the sort of totally definitive clarity we got last time.

Feeling yourself disintegrate 201

Posted on August 23, 2016 by

“CRISIS-HIT POLICE TO AXE 300 OFFICERS”, blares the front-page lead of today’s Scottish Daily Mail. (Along with some exciting Prince Harry not-news.)

mailpoliceb

“SECRET cuts to police numbers will see hundreds of officers axed as the single force faces a deepening cash crisis. The Mail can reveal controversial proposals to reduce frontline manpower – while violent and sex crimes are increasing”, it continues.

So let’s see what this worrying-sounding story actually DOES reveal.

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One for the archives 76

Posted on August 23, 2016 by

Kezia Dugdale in yesterday’s Daily Record on the subject of Jeremy Corbyn:

“We can’t pin our hopes on a leadership who speak only to the converted, rather than speaking to the country as a whole.

I don’t think Jeremy can unite our party and lead us into government. He cannot appeal to a broad enough section of voters to win an election.”

So let’s be absolutely clear: if Jeremy Corbyn wins the Labour leadership election next month, as almost everyone expects him to, the UK (and therefore Scotland) is doomed to Conservative rule until at least 2025.

That’s not our view, but the official public position of the leader of Scottish Labour.

Should there be a second independence referendum in the next few years, Scotland’s choice will be a clear one: a generation of brutal Tory austerity, isolated from Europe (losing out on billions of pounds in funding) and the protections of the Human Rights Act, or taking responsibility for ourselves.

And every time Kezia Dugdale or her Labour colleagues in Better Together 2.0 protest that there’s another option she’ll be contradicted not by angry nationalists, but by her own words. So we’re sure everyone on all sides of the debate in Scotland will be watching the outcome of the leadership contest with interest. There’s a lot at stake.

Impartial Journalism For Dummies 205

Posted on August 22, 2016 by

The BBC’s most prominent politics presenter Andrew Neil, today:

neilgers

There is, as there is so often, just one small problem.

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Here come the drums 265

Posted on August 21, 2016 by

Today’s Sunday Times didn’t bother with any subtlety in its signalling of how people should expect the Scottish media to handle next week’s GERS figures.

stgers

So we’ll just leave these here:

The limitations of GERS

The five key facts about GERS

The wishful believers

Gazing into the black hole

There’ll be nothing but repeats of all last year’s articles in the papers, so there doesn’t seem to be much point in re-writing all the rebuttals. We’d advise readers not to expect to hear any of the facts or arguments in any of the above articles aired on TV or radio discussions of the new figures either. For the sake of your blood pressure, it’s probably best to stick to old QI repeats on Dave for the next eight days.

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More phantom news 451

Posted on August 19, 2016 by

For several years now this site has been drawing attention to the weird phenomenon of phantom news – stories presented by the media without even a shred of supporting evidence yet treated as unquestionable empirical fact. And recently there have been more phantoms around the Scottish press than an episode of Scooby Doo.

rodendaisley

The thing Alan Roden – who prefers intimidating ordinary members of the public by doorstepping them and vilifying them in his paper – links to in that tweet is an article on the Herald website last night. And it’s a weird article, because it’s an extensive, quote-laden story about something that doesn’t appear to have happened at all.

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Making your minds up 121

Posted on August 16, 2016 by

Here’s the BBC reporting Kezia Dugdale’s speech at the opening session of the new Scottish Parliament, less than three months ago:

simdugdale

It seems the Scottish Labour leader’s had a change of heart since then.

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Iron seas 218

Posted on August 15, 2016 by

The Scottish media has worked itself into an indignant froth over the last few days about the appearance of Sputnik News – an Edinburgh-based arm of a publicly-owned, state-run Russian news agency, fronted by (among others) former Dateline Scotland and NewsShaft stars Jack Foster and Carolyn Scott.

(Any resemblance to publicly-owned, state-run national news agencies of questionable impartiality in other countries is of course entirely coincidental and totally different.)

The Sunday Herald ran a bizarre smear piece yesterday on the pair’s past fundraising initiatives for their two previous projects (which were obviously completely unrelated to Sputnik), and today’s Times has an even weirder column by Melanie Reid in which Foster and Scott are directly and startlingly compared to the Cuban Missile Crisis:

sputnik

We tried, for the purposes of satire, to think of another country that played host to nuclear missiles that were controversially imposed on it by an external government, but unfortunately we couldn’t come up with anything. Sorry about that.

Tories Together 192

Posted on August 12, 2016 by

Annie Wells and Brian Whittle are two new Conservative MSPs. Look how happy and excited they are today at Labour winning a council by-election from the SNP.

wellswhittle

The SNP candidate actually won comfortably on first-preference votes, but was edged out at the sixth count under the Single Transferable Vote system when 78% of Tory voters gave their second preference to Labour (whose own vote fell 7%).

We’re trying to think of a good reason why they’re still two separate parties, but to be honest with you, readers, we’re coming up short.

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    • Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Every geriatric Scottish arse from John O’ Groats to Gretna going unwiped forever” Perhaps the Prof has a greater personal…” Nov 3, 11:16
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “A nice photo from the hated Mail Online this morning: https://www.dailymail.com/debate/article-16259803/DANIEL-HANNAN-Picture-sums-entire-migrant-industry-regards-taxpayers-country.html Seems like some bint in the HoC announced yesterday…” Nov 3, 10:42
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““we know from postcolonial theory” Of course we do, Alf. Such a shame we still know SFA about what to…” Nov 3, 10:26
    • Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: ““tell the current collection of clattering clownwits infesting Holyrood to not bother coming back from their holidays” The Rev makes…” Nov 3, 09:48
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““I see you’re a fan of Better Together” For myself, I’m a fan of Plausible Divorce Plan, although I do…” Nov 2, 17:39
    • Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “I think a further clarity intervention is needed about dates. James Che’s narrative blends two unrelated historical facts into a…” Nov 2, 15:53
    • Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “For even more clarity… Queen Anne’s proclamation dissolving the Scottish Parliament was issued in April 1707, not in 1752. Anne…” Nov 2, 15:16
    • McDuff on Vibecoding A Better World: “My mistake just testing.” Nov 2, 14:05
    • Chas on Vibecoding A Better World: “How interesting. I have never read interpretations of 300+ year old stuff before. But only if we discount the exact…” Nov 2, 13:53
    • James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “Indeed a clever attempt north code, Except England did not update its Calendar year until 1752 to be in line…” Nov 2, 13:25
    • Dan on Vibecoding A Better World: “@ Northcode at 11:04 am You don’t have waffle some word twisting shite on here. Over the course of the…” Nov 2, 13:03
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Cheers, sarah. There was me reading about the Scottish Men’s Curling team’s European Championship triumph on the BBC website and…” Nov 2, 12:55
    • sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “European championship, not World.” Nov 2, 12:31
    • sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “Thanks for reporting this achievement. And making clear that once again the BBC has worked to hide a Scotland triumph.” Nov 2, 12:19
    • McDuff on Vibecoding A Better World: “Scotland’s men pick up a gold at the world curling championships and es far as I can see it has…” Nov 2, 11:13
    • Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “Alf’s argument frames Scotland’s economic condition through a mythic lens of colonial underdevelopment. In its historical and economic framing, these…” Nov 2, 11:04
    • Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “For clarity… James Che’s argument rests on a mythic moment they place in 1606, where they believe the Scottish Parliament…” Nov 2, 10:28
    • Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “Yes of course “a radical change in the political (and colonial) landscape” is absolutely critical for recovery and development of…” Nov 2, 10:24
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Aidan The laughable aspect to this is that there are plenty of Scots, myself included, who would love Scotland to…” Nov 2, 10:20
    • Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “Well done Izzie, you’re exactly right. If Nicola Sturgeon had been first minister between 2014 and 2023 Scotland would be…” Nov 2, 10:15
    • Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “You are right James, when people hear about the true nature of what happened in 1606, they will take to…” Nov 2, 09:47
    • Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “So the plan is, Day 1 – become independent and Day 2 – become identical to Norway? Scotland on Day…” Nov 2, 09:41
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Awa and shite, Alf. The context is you lying about Scotland having the highest energy prices in the world. The…” Nov 2, 09:39
    • Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “The ‘context’ Hatey, which you completely ignore, much like your beloved ‘union’ hoax, is that Norway’s economy is so advanced…” Nov 2, 09:09
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Could be so much worse, Bob. At least she’s not claiming the route to Scottish Independence is via climbing on…” Nov 2, 09:01
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “So true, James. People vowing to edumacate themselves about the shenanigans of 1707 is all I ever hear at the…” Nov 2, 08:56
    • James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “One can understand the need and fear of Unionist to Squash Alf Bairds voice before it grows and becomes known…” Nov 2, 08:22
    • James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “When enough Scots identify where and when the the treaty of union failed to be completed or accomplish its purpose,…” Nov 2, 08:01
    • Bilbo on Vibecoding A Better World: “Given that they only teach postmodern theories in the education system nowadays, students are only interested in bringing down the…” Nov 2, 07:40
    • James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “To make the theory of of the treaty of union of two parliaments merging to create unitary State of Great…” Nov 2, 07:39
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