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The new national anthem 74

Posted on June 30, 2016 by

Boris Johnson is NOT standing for Prime Minister.

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The suicide squad 671

Posted on June 29, 2016 by

The UK is currently a non-functioning democracy. The Prime Minister has handed in his notice and has no nominated successor. The leader of the Opposition has just been served with a vote of no confidence by 80% of his own MPs. Parliamentarians are openly discussing overturning the result of a democratic referendum. People are pretending that Angela Eagle is a credible future Prime Minister.

suicidesquad

The country, in short, has lost its mind.

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The bookies are never wrong 354

Posted on June 28, 2016 by

We’re currently trying to write an article summarising the state of UK politics, but our brains keep exploding two sentences in. So in the meantime we thought we’d share this just-released image from YouGov with you, for the benefit of anyone dim enough to ever put any stock by bookmakers’ odds as predictors of the future.

bookieswrong

Although, obviously, hardly anyone’s that thick.

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Song For Today 704

Posted on June 27, 2016 by

We’ve been watching the news all morning, and there’s only one sane response.

Notes from the madhouse 630

Posted on June 26, 2016 by

The people (of England) have spoken, and their elected representatives are freaking out all over the shop.

Several senior Labour and Liberal Democrat MPs have openly called for the result of a democratic referendum to be overturned by Parliament against the wishes of voters. The Prime Minister has quit, the Chancellor is expected to follow on Monday, and half of the Labour shadow cabinet is apparently doing it as we speak, after Jeremy Corbyn fired Hilary Benn for planning a coup.

(Apparently including Ian Murray, the shadow Scottish Secretary who’s also the only Scottish Labour MP at Westminster, putting the party in the farcical position of having to find itself a spokesman on Scottish affairs who either sits in an English or Welsh seat or is an unelected lord.)

Labour MPs are also demanding Corbyn’s head, in essence for the crime of his being hugely popular with the party’s membership for reflecting the old-fashioned left-wing ideology and views that they actually believe in, rather than the “moderate” neo-Tory position of Blairite parliamentarians. Corbyn shows no sign of going.

Two opinion polls, meanwhile, suggest that support for independence has taken the lead in Scotland, where Nicola Sturgeon is quietly and calmly making arrangements with senior European officials to hold discussions about ways to keep Scotland in the EU – with the backing of Willie Rennie just in case any of the talks take place on a bouncy castle or a slide.

(The Daily Telegraph, which we must assume has been chatting to Alistair Carmichael again, is reporting that Sturgeon has joined the Tories and turned gay.)

It’s been suggested that the Scottish Parliament could in fact block any attempt by the UK to leave (though it seems unlikely). Britain faces a future without Milky Way Magic Stars. UK politics, to put it mildly, is in chaos.  So what the hell’s going on?

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A blast from the past 219

Posted on June 25, 2016 by

We were startled to see an old face make a bit of a comeback to the Scottish political scene this evening, when BBC Scotland dug up the former “Better Together” campaign director Blair McDougall to urge Scots not to do anything hasty in the aftermath of the UK’s Brexit vote.

And it led us, by a circuitous route, back to this.

We thought we’d just leave it here for the record.

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Everybody gets two 571

Posted on June 24, 2016 by

Chances, that is.

Yesterday the UK as a whole voted to leave the European Union, while Scotland voted to stay in. Unless something is done, Scotland will be dragged out of the EU against its clearly-expressed will – the margin for Remain was two and a half times the margin for No in 2014.

The temptations for Yes voters are almost overwhelming. The rage that many of them feel is genuine and fully justified. Scotland was lied to remorselessly and relentlessly throughout the indyref campaign, threatened and bullied and cowed into staying in a fantasy UK bearing no resemblance to the one we now find ourselves in.

spidey

The sheer irony of the UK plunging into exactly the sort of calamitous uncertainty we were told would befall an independent Scotland would test the character of a saint.

And for everyone whose restraint is being stretched to the very limits of its endurance today, we have a two-word message: George Square.

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The unbroken record 255

Posted on June 24, 2016 by

If we’d seen this sooner, we’d have bet every penny we owned on Leave:

mctpre

The game just changed, readers. We’ve been up all night. We’ll have some analysis for you in a few hours. For now, spend a few moments pondering who the “narrow nationalists” and “separatists” in the UK are.

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We’re calling it 286

Posted on June 23, 2016 by

We know it’s early doors, but we’re going to state with some confidence now that this is the Tweet Of The Night:

timst

Yes, that really is Tim Stanley, leader writer of the Telegraph, complaining about being up against the British establishment in a referendum. (In which Leave was supported by, among others, the Sun, the Daily Mail, the Telegraph, and the Daily Express – the #1, #2, #4 and #6 best-selling newspapers in the country – along with around half of the MPs of the governing party.)

For extra fun, we might collect some of his indyref tweets later. But to the very best of our recollection, he didn’t consider the Yes campaign’s 45% – which really WAS achieved against the entire British establishment, without a single daily newspaper’s support – as a “moral victory”.

But, y’know, we’ll check.

The undecided 702

Posted on June 20, 2016 by

Alert readers will already know that the closest thing this site has to a position on this week’s EU referendum is that supporters of Scottish independence living in Scotland should vote Remain.

(And even that view is conditional on whether you consider Scottish independence the most important political goal of your life. If it’s more important to you to be out of the EU than out of the UK then clearly you’ll be voting Leave and there’s nothing we could say that would change your mind.)

undecided1

But what if you happen to be a supporter of Scottish independence who DOESN’T live in Scotland? What then?

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Total Perspective Vortex 115

Posted on June 18, 2016 by

Returning astronaut Tim Peake reveals the BBC’s new weather map.

peakeuk

(Chris Cairns will be back tomorrow.)

Lion lies down with lambs 276

Posted on June 17, 2016 by

The man who last year wrote this:

allanmassiethamesblood1

…and in 2014 wrote this, today wrote this. We live in strange times.

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    • Geri on The Pit Of Vipers: “They don’t even live in Scotland so what would they know? Absolutely nothing. They’re just nosepoking trolls.Apr 23, 12:22
    • Aidan on The Pit Of Vipers: “What a great comeback, that’s me telt ? Sad little man.Apr 23, 12:03
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Pit Of Vipers: “I imagine the DVD version you mention has become the following YouTube. However punchy and immediate, it remains but a…Apr 23, 12:01
    • Geri on The Pit Of Vipers: ““material change in circumstances” Brexshit was the material change. Nawbags cried their remain vote didn’t count. The UK is not…Apr 23, 11:59
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    • Geri on The Pit Of Vipers: “Scotland was so pro Union do you know what they did? They returned 56 Nationalist MPs for the 1st time…Apr 23, 10:25
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