So, some official and very brief Wings analysis, because we just watched an army of pundits on the TV all missing the bleeding obvious and talking as if a delay to Brexit was now a done deal.
After tonight’s series of votes in the Commons, all five of which were technically won by Theresa May, there are three possible outcomes. Let’s whizz through them all.
Guy Verhofstadt, leader of the ALDE group in the European Parliament (essentially the Euro Lib Dems), is by no means our standard go-to guy for political guidance. Like most European politicians he’s been criminally silent on the outrages being perpetrated by the government of Spain, and in general he’s a bit neoliberal for our tastes.
But his speech from yesterday is powerful stuff.
As we write this, the UK’s parliament is blundering through a third successive day of toe-curling farce on the floor of the Commons, aimed this time at securing some sort of extension to Brexit to avoid a disastrous no-deal in just 15 days’ time.
It may yet be that such a request will be issued and the EU will grant it, dragging out the whole awful mess for God knows how much longer. But judging by the tone of M. Verhofstadt’s impassioned, exasperated address in Strasbourg, we wouldn’t like to have money on it. It appears that an entire continent has had just about enough of us.
For some time, most polls for “Who’d make the best UK Prime Minister?” – the stat that really decides who wins general elections – have shown a solid lead for “Don’t know”, narrowly ahead of Theresa May and a long way ahead of Jeremy Corbyn.
It’s a prime symptom of a UK-wide contempt for politicians the magnitude of which we’ve never seen in our lifetime, and Scottish voters are in no way immune.
We loaded this question from our latest Panelbase poll in the party leaders’ favours, because you don’t have to think any of them is doing a GOOD job to say that one of them is doing the BEST job out of the four. Everything is relative – and we also didn’t ask the question specifically about Brexit.
But even with those get-outs, “They’re all useless” came out on top by a clear seven points over Nicola Sturgeon, and the rest weren’t even at the races.
Tonight sees what’s likely to be a highly-charged Scottish Cup quarter-final replay at Ibrox Stadium. Defeat will effectively end the losing side’s season, and games between the participants, Aberdeen and Rangers International, have tended to be fierce affairs ever since the latter club was formed in controversial circumstances in 2012, with this season’s clashes already having seen numerous red cards.
(Mainly for the home team’s temperamental striker Alfredo Morelos.)
Football authorities will be hoping for a minimum of flashpoints on the field which might lead to repeats of shocking recent scenes of abuse and violence from spectators, which have prompted the nation’s media to wring its hands in theatrical angst and demand that something be done.
The public’s view on the subject, meanwhile, has remained absolutely consistent.
Sundays have been the low point of Scottish political journalism for a while now. Traditionally a day when newspapers are heavy on comment and light on news (because politics tends to happen on weekdays), they unleash all the weary old dinosaurs who’ve been driving away readers for the last 30 years.
So you really have to stand out to be noticed for especially appalling hackery on a Sunday, which is probably why nobody from Scotland On Sunday wanted to have their name on this toe-curling piece of second-hand, lifted-from-another-paper garbage.
Professor Ronald MacDonald, you say? That name seems to ring a bell.
MARR: “What would [Theresa May] need to bring back [from Brexit negotiations] to win you over?”
DAVIS: “She needs to bring back a clear ability on the part of the United Kingdom to be able to leave this treaty when it chooses to. There is no other treaty in the world I’m aware of where a sovereign nation undertakes to join up and can only leave when the other side says so.”
We’re pretty sure we can think of an example, David.
Michael Glackin of the Sunday Times is the only serious contender to the Scotsman’s demented Brian Wilson as the most poisonously, blindly instinctive hater of anything even passingly connected to the SNP or independence in the Scottish media. His weekly bilious rants in the paper make even Scottish Daily Express hacks wince and say “Blimey, that’s a bit strong”.
But even by those standards, this week’s column is quite something. So let’s take a little look at just how much of an idiot you can make of yourself if you never allow facts to get in the way of your rage.
Watching the Six Nations rugby tournament every year is usually quite a dispiriting experience – not just because of Scotland’s invariably underwhelming performances (broken up by the occasional false dawn), but because talking about it on social media always results in an extremely tedious flood of comments about how rugby is a sport played and watched exclusively by middle-class Tory No voters.
(That’s Scotland skipper Greig Laidlaw there, with Wings mascot Hamish.)
Speaking as someone whose interest in the tournament (in the pre-inflation days when it was the Five Nations) was first sparked when my extremely working-class Bathgate comprehensive school started taking pupils to Murrayfield in the 1980s – 50p for the bus and 50p for the match ticket, which got you a seat on wooden benches actually on the grass – this attitude has always instinctively felt like complete nonsense.
So when we did our latest Panelbase poll during this year’s competition, we figured we may as well actually find out.
Captain Caveman on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Xaracen Whilst you’re rather vocal in making demands for information and evidence, it would be good to hear your answers…” Jul 27, 12:15
Xaracen on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Aidan, as usual, you are being deliberately obtuse! The C-24 has NOT “rejected the petition outright”, and you have not…” Jul 27, 12:14
sarah on Safety First: “O/T Whilst waiting for a response to my query re the exact target of Chris’s cartoon, for those who want…” Jul 27, 12:06
Mark Beggan on Safety First: “The majority of the protestors at Harvies Anti-Trump rally were middle aged and middle class. The speaker although difficult to…” Jul 27, 12:01
Stuart on Safety First: “Careful James, yer tinfoil hat has slipped a wee bit there son.” Jul 27, 11:24
sarah on Safety First: “Clarification, please! Is the cartoon referring to Sandie Peggie’s case v NHS Fife? Her request to Upton to leave the…” Jul 27, 11:07
Aidan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Xaracen – Brilliant, so what response have JPTi received from C-24 in response to the petition? I say that the…” Jul 27, 10:46
dandydons1903 on Safety First: “Looks like they all go to the same sign writer or placard shop or maybe the spook security services buy…” Jul 27, 10:40
James Cheyne on Safety First: “Lorn. Willie. Yesterday just for fun I asked the questions on Identifying what a Utility was, and just getting the…” Jul 27, 10:23
James Cheyne on Safety First: “Mark beggan, I had noticed the mainly imported accents, I understand this is happening down south too. People being shipped…” Jul 27, 09:30
Marie on Safety First: “They’re all wrong – the USA and UK are not democracies – they are oligarchies.” Jul 27, 09:29
Xaracen on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Minor correction to my submission, Aidan; JPTI submitted Scotland’s Petition directly to the C-24, and not via the Secretariat. Both…” Jul 27, 09:18
James Cheyne on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “The divine right of kings is not so divine. If there is no kingdom of England, and one is incapable…” Jul 27, 09:05
James Cheyne on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Sit back and observe what is happening slow but surely.” Jul 27, 08:41
James Cheyne on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “I personally think that Scotland might be the one saving grace for England, Ireland, Wales and all the surrounding smaller…” Jul 27, 08:39
David on Safety First: “The anti-Trump protesters are obviously communists who have no money on the stock market. I bought in when Trump took…” Jul 27, 08:30
James Cheyne on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “It has not gone under my personal radar that the monarchy has been officially downsized, two have cancer, although I…” Jul 27, 08:30
James Cheyne on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “I suspect worrying what Scotland may or may not do sometime in the future might be the least of Englands…” Jul 27, 08:12
James Cheyne on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Andy Wiltshire, Rejoin the UK? It would be treason? 1) There would be no UK Country or State to re-join.…” Jul 27, 08:05
Mark Beggan on Safety First: “Here’s some of the Anti-Trump comments from protesters: 1.” I despise him. He has no right to be here, Iam…” Jul 27, 02:38
willie on Safety First: “I don’t think anyone thinks what has been attempted on Nurse Peggie is a laugh. our government is a laugh,…” Jul 26, 22:15
willie on Safety First: “Oh and one last thing before I retire I was thinking about intimidation which as we know in the good…” Jul 26, 22:01
agent x on Safety First: “Sandie Peggie, the claimant, is an A&E nurse at Victoria Hospital in Kirkcaldy with 30 years’ experience at NHS Fife.…” Jul 26, 21:57
willie on Safety First: “Ah Hatey c’mon now you’ve probably rumbled Dr Theodore Upton’s future business plans. There is as been noted thems that…” Jul 26, 21:39
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Alf Baird says @ 26 July, 6:20 pm – « We may perhaps reasonably conclude that nothing a colonial administration…” Jul 26, 20:13
agent x on Safety First: “Earlier this month, Swinney said, “it is in the interests of the country that he meets US President as he…” Jul 26, 20:00
Xaracen on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Your turn, Aidan. Where’s your formal evidence that the C-24 ‘rejected outright’ Scotland’s Petition, to the extent that it will…” Jul 26, 19:47