At a certain point you just have to laugh, even though it’s not really funny.
The submission being referred to is NOT the one Alex Salmond sent to the Holyrood committee this week, but the one he sent to the separate Hamilton inquiry almost a month ago, which had been cleared by his lawyers and was published in full by both Wings and The Spectator and read by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
(For reasons we’re not allowed to tell you, the Wings version has been totally redacted and the Spectator’s has had one paragraph removed but is still mostly intact.)
Because the Fabiani inquiry won’t be publishing the document, that means Salmond isn’t allowed to discuss it when he gives oral evidence, and the inquiry isn’t permitted to consider any of its contents, just as with Geoff Aberdein’s submission.
(There’s very little Salmond actually WILL now be allowed to talk about if he appears before the committee. He might just about be able to confirm his name before the Lord Advocate has him arrested and charged with whatever the opposite of perjury is.)
In other words, the exact people who are supposed to be getting to the bottom of what happened are the only people in Scotland who have to pretend they haven’t read the evidence of the primary witness. (While also not being allowed to see the evidence of the other most important witness, or almost anything else.)
You really would struggle to make this stuff up, readers.
Tonight somebody’s sent us a copy of the SNP’s official Social Media Policy, which is exactly the sort of awful corporate wonk-drivel you’d probably expect it to be.
Our favourite part was this masterpiece of unrememberable gibberish in the vein of the Scottish Government’s hopeless “FACTS” slogan (honestly, without going and looking can you remember what ANY of the letters represent?) for the coronavirus :
And here’s a tweet from earlier today from a prospective SNP candidate:
We’re not sure which of the letters that conforms to.
Alert readers will have noticed by now that while we were at the dentist getting rid of all our excess money, the Fabiani inquiry has published Alex Salmond’s written evidence submission, ahead of his in-person appearance currently scheduled for next week.
We’re feeling a bit confused this morning, readers. Maybe someone can help.
Below is the key part of the letter sent by the Clerks of the Scottish Parliament, acting on behalf of the Fabiani committee, to the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) a week and a half ago, requesting material for their investigation into the Scottish Government’s botched handling of false allegations against Alex Salmond.
As we’d told you at the time, the request was a sham, designed to produce nothing of any value, because it carefully excluded the only person whose communications with Sue Ruddick were actually of relevance – SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
(Murrell being an employee of the party, NOT a member of the Scottish Government, a civil servant or a special adviser.)
Readers, we swear to you we are not making this up. What you’re about to read are genuine extracts from the SNP’s official new (probably illegal) Equalities Mechanism explanatory note, detailing what does and doesn’t count as a disability when it comes to jumping the queue for a regional list nomination.
And straight away it’s a real punch in the gut for firestarters, muggers, rapists, flashers and, in most cases, hay-fever sufferers. THIS BIGOTRY WILL NOT STAND.
Having never been part of a political party, an area where Wings lacks expertise is in understanding the nuts and bolts of their operation, and how a party’s rules can be used to usurp their members’ power. We’re delighted to have someone equipped to provide a valuable insight into how that’s happened to the SNP in the last two years.
The following line is still a definitive statement in the SNP constitution:
“National Conference is the supreme governing and policy-making body of the Party.”
But in practice it is no longer the case. The 2018 redraft of the constitution centralised power in the Leader and in the NEC. The party Leader has sole and total power over policy – both in the manifesto and in government – and the NEC has sole power over who represents the party and what they are allowed to say.
So in effect, since 2018 the party elite – not the membership – has ruled the SNP.
Something most people don’t know about the infamous Spanish Inquisition is that it was never the Catholic Church that actually executed heretics. Particularly if a prisoner had refused to confess their vile heresy even under torture, the Church instead handed them over to the “mercy” of the state to deliver their end.
So SNP MP Kirsty Blackman (or as we understand some are already calling her, “the Tiny Torquemada“) would have fitted right in with it.
Or more likely, they just wanted to try to bury all of their skeletons at once in a single giant avalanche of crookedness. But either way, enough is enough. Criminals accused of perjury don’t get to decide if they’ll answer for their lies or not.
The Fabiani committee has the power to compel witnesses to attend. They must now use that power without further delay, or they must call on the police to arrest the SNP’s chief executive immediately and drag him into an interview room by his ears if need be with a solicitor in attendance. (Doubtless also paid for by SNP members.)
Scotland is not GoodFellas. Nobody is above the law. Stop this damn rot now.
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Push The Button: “An effort at Scottish Gaelic lyrics for “OH SHENANDOAH” – https://gobha-uisge.blogspot.com/2026/04/oh-shenandoah-paul-robeson-bryan-terfel.html” Apr 27, 23:51
Willie on Push The Button: “The charges relate to three incidents: a vehicle fire in Kentish Town, a fire at the prime minister’s private home…” Apr 27, 22:52
TimePilot on Push The Button: “You are missing the point of what is otherwise a straighforward rational logic puzzle by imprinting it with your own…” Apr 27, 22:30
Alf Baird on Push The Button: ““oddball ragtag of misfit Yoons” The colonialists aye noo suffer fae anxiety near every Scottish election, because they ken fine…” Apr 27, 22:01
Southernbystander on Push The Button: “It was and I’m a Ronnie fan. Great match and Higgins came on really good towards the end of the…” Apr 27, 19:44
Dan on Push The Button: “CC says: “B.O. that could make a grown man weep – and breath that could strip the fur from a…” Apr 27, 19:23
agentx on Push The Button: “Great win by the “Wizard of Wishaw” today 🙂” Apr 27, 19:23
Lorncal on Push The Button: “I meant that ‘suicidal empathy’ must be excised, not liberalism and tolerance. The ‘suicidally empathetic’ regard all old-style liberals (small…” Apr 27, 19:18
Lorncal on Push The Button: “All the -isms do that, Captain: Capitalism, Socialism, Communism, Stalinism, Maoism, Nationalism, Britishism, Americanism… They all demand that we make…” Apr 27, 19:12
sarah on Push The Button: “Rev, we need a reprint of the Wee Blue Book so that all the people who couldn’t vote because under…” Apr 27, 18:59
James on Push The Button: “Adrian; see post above, petal. Away back to your glossy mag.” Apr 27, 18:52
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “Exactly Aidan, maybe “more to be pitied than scorned”. He hasn’t exactly been spoilt has he? Penniless, porcine, B.O. that…” Apr 27, 18:52
Lorncal on Push The Button: “‘Suicidal empathy’, Confused is almost entirely the preserve of the middle class/political class and is not bull of any kind.…” Apr 27, 18:50
Aidan on Push The Button: “Exactly CC – the whole time I’ve been posting I don’t think I’ve seen “James” post a substantive comment or…” Apr 27, 18:31
James on Push The Button: “There’s a phrase…..what is it again…..? Oh aye; “Away and take a flying fuck to yourself”. Next.” Apr 27, 18:25
Grog on Push The Button: “No I meant if your statistical confidence in the blue vote being between 78-82% was 99% let’s say. That isn’t…” Apr 27, 18:12
Sven on Push The Button: ““Who would press it ?” Probably the same people who have to test, “Wet Paint, don’t touch” signs and stroll…” Apr 27, 18:09
Northcode on Push The Button: “I am cancelled… by a unionist here whose sparkling wit I have long admired! Yes, folks, set aside my heavy…” Apr 27, 18:02
Mark Beggan on Push The Button: “I think this question could have been made a lot easier if there was just one button saying: Do Not…” Apr 27, 17:35
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “Yeah…. as opposed to you randomly spouting “Prick” in response to posts, eh Fatso. I’m sure we’re all in awe…” Apr 27, 17:31
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “@Aidan Relax. They’d deploy the F16s. They’d never get aff the groond!” Apr 27, 16:31
James on Push The Button: “The comments section on Wings is poor with the repetive, accumulated shite from the likes of Chas, Adrian, Wilma Flintstone…” Apr 27, 16:28
James Che on Push The Button: “Now we know that the UN is not independent as it claims to be, and it will never be allowed…” Apr 27, 16:23
James Che on Push The Button: “Not a rational thinker I note, having difficulties achieving thinking links that join a to b and b to c,…” Apr 27, 16:03
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““There’s no objective evidence that being alive is better than being dead” I believe the Romans had a saying that…” Apr 27, 16:00
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “Occam’s Razor says it’s because Independence is but a matter of weeks or months away at most. 7th May. That’s…” Apr 27, 15:53
Athanasius on Push The Button: “You accept it as a foundational assumption. There’s no objective evidence that being alive is better than being dead, but…” Apr 27, 15:20
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““Socialist Norway is one of the richest countries in Europe and regularly voted one of the best countries in the…” Apr 27, 15:19
Chas on Push The Button: “The comments section on Wings is poor with the repetive, accumulated shite from the likes of Northclown, Baird, Confusused etc…” Apr 27, 15:15
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: ““This is not a black and white dilemma” No, it’s a red and blue dilemma. That means there’s a great…” Apr 27, 14:22